Today we have a special guest and she is not the Foxy Blond but a super sexy sensual passionate friend of mine.
Ok get tour mind out of the gutter I am not sleeping with her. Men and women can be friends.
Lets call her the mysterious girl from somewhere in California.
Thanks David for that amazing introduction and as you know compliments will get you everywhere with me.
So guys are you ready to hear some no bullshit advice from a single woman in her early 30s?
What goes through my mind when a guy approaches me?
There is a lot that goes through my mind when a guy approaches me. Usually it is something along the lines of:
“Oh great, here we go again, another lame ass pickup line and more than a few seconds of uncomfortable silence followed by a whimpering “Ummm, you think…..like….could I……ummm…..you know, like do you want to hang out or something?”".
I think this is a loaded question to be quite honest, David. What you are looking for here is the secret to approaching women…..like the perfect thing to say every single time. To be quite honest, there is no secret pass phrase to approaching a female as far as I’m concerned. A perfect example would be last week. I had to be in the lobby of the courthouse to brief my client at 8:30 before the trial began at 9. I woke up late and rushed off to Starbucks to get my morning fuel before going into court and arguing before the “Hanging Judge” (as he is not-so-affectionately known in these parts). There was a particularly long line and I was busy preparing my opening statements in my mind when a really good looking guy dressed in a business suit caught my eye.
I was actually engrossed in my own thoughts and didn’t realize I was making eye contact with this guy until it registered in my mind a few seconds later. By that time I was next in line and was placing my order with the Barista. I then walked over to the counter and stood there impatiently waiting for my drink, still mentally preparing what I was going to say, all the while checking my watch to make sure I wasn’t going to be late.
The next thing I know that same guy was up in my face talking about something or other. When I say “talking about something or other”, I mean just that. I was mentally tuned out and the only thing I wanted to hear from another human being at that particular point in time was “Miss, your Iced Grande Vanilla Latte is ready”. I did not want to be bothered, even if it Brad Pitt was standing butt naked right in front of my face. Needless to say the guy got a half-assed “hrmphh” to whatever question he was asking me and I was out the front door lickety-split.
So a good part of picking up females is to realize that sometimes we are preoccupied with other things and really don’t have the time to sit there and chat. It is nothing personal and had it been any other time you might have gotten more than a half-assed answer to whatever question you were asking us.
But I digress.
Let’s assume for a second that I wasn’t going into court that morning, and let’s assume that it was any given Saturday morning.
The first thing I would notice is how the guy is dressed. If I am down by the beach and the guy is wearing board shorts and a wrinkled wife beater, I would naturally assume he was a local…..resident/surfer/whatever. If I was out of town on business, thousands of miles away from any beach and saw the same guy, my only thoughts would be to dig through my pockets to see if I could give the poor wino some spare change. How a man dresses tells a lot about his personality. If his mommy didn’t teach him how to properly iron his shirt, just what the fuck makes him think I got the words “Lucy Ricardo” stamped across my forehead?
The next thing that would register in my unconscious mind is his posture. I have noticed that sometimes guys approach me with their hands in their pockets, shoulders hunched forward, heads tilted downwards and a blank stare on their faces. They probably don’t realize that they are doing this, but this is a clear sign of low self esteem.
I have noticed over the years that the initial “spark” I feel inside is quickly extinguished when I don’t perceive confidence from the minute I make eye contact with them. On the other hand, if a guy approaches me with his shoulders back, chin up and a confident (but not creepy) look in his eyes, I sometimes find myself frozen like a little doe caught in the headlights. It just draws me in magnetically and my mind goes blank for a few seconds (which is a good thing).
The next thing I notice after they start speaking to me is the tone of their voice. I read somewhere that you can lie through your teeth and get away with it, but the tone of your voice and the various inflictions you give your speech are a dead giveaway. If a guy starts stumbling with words, or the tone of his voice isn’t “normal” I instantly go on the defensive.
To me, this suggests that the only reason he is approaching me is because he has a hidden agenda: to get my number. At that point in time I start mentally checking out of the conversation and try to guess how long it will be before the stammering and stuttering will begin. I find myself taking mental bets on how long it will be before he asks me for my number. I sometimes feel bad for these guys so I wind up giving them my number anyways: 765-4321
The last thing that goes through my mind is whether or not I find myself attracted to them. While looks do plan an important part, I do give extra points for comedians and what I like to call “Honest Joes”. Honest Joes are your average looking normal kind of guys.
They are confident, dressed appropriately and are the types of guys that just blend into the crowd and it is only after I consciously finding myself writing my phone number down do I realize that they are an “Honest Joe”. No game, no comedic schtick, no BMW in the parking lot…..just an honest and sincere approach. Speaking from personal experience, those are the types of guys that more often than not wind up as my boyfriends.
Thanks Mystery girl for all your great insight. You can check out her site by clicking here
Todays video is a sneak peek behind the closed doors of one of my post boot camp late night rap sessions.
Popularity: 1%
4:34 pm
Mystery: Thanks for the advice. I like strong, smart women. Is your area code the same as David’s? ESQ, whats your specialty? Looking forward.
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4:38 pm
Lucy I’m home!
LOL
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4:40 pm
NOW, I know why I consciously chose NOT to speak/initiate conversation with a relatively good-looking guy in the check-out line at the grocery store earlier this week – after reading this blog, I get it. Lack of confidence – his, not mine.
I was being observant, noticed the absence of the wedding ring, that he had the prettiest blue eyes I’ve seen on a guy in a while, that he kept looking over at me off and on while conversing the with clerk & bagging his stuff, AND that he was buying an ENORMOUS about of bread. Immediately, I had visions of this guy engaged in a French Toast-making marathon and it cracked me up. I was all set to say something to him about his bread purchase and the French Toast thing and then I stopped myself, consciously. Why? Because of how he carried himself and how he was conversing with the clerk. He did not come off as a confident man buying bread, but instead as a rather unsure, kinda, maybe…..whatever type of person. He came off as vague. He may have been physically appealing, but the way he carried himself in just those few short minutes made me doubt and, ultimately, withdrawl any interaction with him, as well. I just simply smiled like the polite, patiently waiting-in-line customer that I am.
Moment gone. Opportunity missed…for HIM.
Bria
BTW, David-dear….you will be happy to know that I was successful in meeting my “one new guy every 3.65 days” since we last conversed. LOL. I initiated the conversation. His name is John, former competitive swimmer and we met in the “whirlpool” at the gym. LOL.
Now, clarification, please….does the 100 guys in a year mean that its a 100 dates, too? Or, just establishing contact/making a connection with someone? Cuz I’m thinkin’ you’re only meanin’ make new connections that MAY pan out to dates, right?
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5:09 pm
BRia
Making connections so you can have a supply of men to date.
Yes it is about his lack of confidence.
If you plant the seed and he cant approach you have done your job.
I teach men all the time how to recognize signals and how to react in an instant.
if that was a david wygant student he would have been all over you with great intriguing conversation!
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5:15 pm
David:
thanks for putting up this great bootcamp video. It remembers me of the first night there that was really awesome and eye-opening for me.
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5:22 pm
anytime.
i will be in london in march by the way
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5:22 pm
I’ve just had a thought about this inner confidence thing. While it is true that you can see it in a person’s body language, I think this is also especially important if you’re on the phone.
I’m right at the moment waiting for a quite hot girl to call ME, because for some very complicated reason I haven’t got her phone number but she has mine and said two days ago that she’ll call me. I have now the choice of
(1) Desperately waiting (“Oh when will she finally call me”) or
(2) Thinking “well, if she calls it’s fine. If not, she’s missing something”.
What will happen in case 1? When she finally calls me I’ll sound like the perfect wussbag and she’ll notice immediately that I’ve waited soooo desperately for that call – she’ll hear it in my voice tone. No good.
In case 2, however, I guess that my voice tone and everything will be much more relaxed, which will come across much more confidently on the phone.
I’ve just thought about this thing while reading your blog, because it relates to a situation I’m currently in and I think it helps to get the right mindset.
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5:30 pm
“Making connections so you can have a supply of men to date.” That’s what I thought. Gotcha. Thanks.
Yes, there are many men out there I wish were “David Wygant” students. I would love it if someone cute and confident would play “tic-tac-toe” with me at the fridge in a Uni-mart. How adorable is that? Eh, no imagination….heh-heh, LOL.
Off to the next job, later,
Bria
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5:44 pm
Bria dear,
This has cracked me up:
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5:47 pm
Hey Lou,
glad that you like my homepage. I put up some of the BC pictures from December 2007 and some other stuff from Austria
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6:22 pm
Hey Markus,
I liked the BC picx but fell in *love* with the flight training & flying picx. When i was young, i stayed with my uncle, an ex-pilot and grew up with a desire to become a flight captain. Unfortunately, it was very expensive to join the Flying school so i had to settle for something else which is also quite challenging & interesting. Ever thought abt flying your date across a nice region? Might be expensive but memorable..
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6:31 pm
Humm, yes I am seriously thinking of taking a date to Venice, Italy, one day. It could be just for taking a coffee there on St Mark’s square and go back on the same day, or staying overnight and have some Pizza near the Canals. Guess any woman would melt in that situation. The thing in doing this stuff is not coming across as wanting to “buy” the woman with this very special experience. But I got a bunch of pilot colleagues that are very successful with that tactics.
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6:44 pm
Markus
Now that is a great date idea!!!!
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6:53 pm
Hm, yes, but must be for the very special women only. It can get quite expensive!!!
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6:55 pm
As we always say. Let start with coffee and maybe that can lead to a cup of coffee in italy
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7:29 pm
This blog is fine to hear some pointers from a woman’s perspective, but I think it’s important to not lose sight of the fact that as a guy you can’t give her all the power. Everything is equal if you have the right mindset, and you’re sizing her up just as much as she is doing to you.
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7:33 pm
Dave
Very true
I posted this so men can really see how women think and keep in mind that this is one woman and one that is very much into her work.
This is why i coach….one approach will not work for all women. Being able to read and understand what type she is….is a skill that takes time to develop.
Its all about being able to read the situation and figure out that this type of woman does not have much time so a long winded approach is not something that will work for her.
And she is a bit harsh at times with her impatience but men need to learn how to get to the point and intrigue her quickly if this is the type of women a guy is attracted to.
There are all types.
Glad you enjoyed it.
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7:38 pm
Dave
Also as you know never ever give your power away.
As you can see from her thoughts that she is very quick to react either in a positive or annoyed way.
Thats why i dont care what they really think as long as i keep my power and composure i am going to leave feeling great all the time.
It is not abut pleasing them and that is why so many men fail at approaching women because they go in weak and not strong.
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7:38 pm
I think the point about body language is a really good one. You can sometime have a really poor vibe because of it and you don’t even realize you’re doing that! It’s like you almost have to consciously over-emphasize the body language and posture just to make it look “normal” and confident.
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8:37 pm
Good evening everyone,
Once again, this is another good blog from the mystery woman from California. With the exception of one particular paragraph, which I will save for the end. But first, my insights, if you will.
It is true that there is no “catch phrase” or “secret code word” to open up to the world of women. If there were no challenges, the world would be pretty dull for everyone. It is only when we are facing deep obstacles and roadblocks that we truly find out how resilient we really are. To paraphrase Shakespeare, some of us are born leaders, others are great leaders, and some have leadership thrust upon them.” The power is in ourselves. It is laying dormant, waiting to be discovered so we can catch a fire and let outselves show who we really are as leaders. We’re all leaders-leaders in our own careers, and dating lives.
Part of dating is about picking up the cues and body language. I’ve seen this in play many times. For example, last week I was riding the Long Island Railroad standing up like most commuters, catching the 8:41 train into New York City. I noticed a young woman, who was an attorney (you can tell by those original-colored case files she had). She was stunning, and believe me, most of the men noticed-brown hair, brown eyes, sharp pinstripe suit with matching heels, and while all probably wanted to talk to her, she was furiously checking her Blackberry and cell phone. That to me screams “Don’t even try to approach me!” She was so locked in that one guy actually did approach her, and it would not have surprised me if she went off on that guy.
Image is everything, according to Andre Agassi, and man is that ever true. It’s one thing to have a knowledge of hygiene, it’s another to practice it every day. If you can’t even iron your shirt, or shave every day, then seriously…you really need to learn. Some people don’t look good in facial hair. I am one of them. The woman is right though about posture. Coming up to a woman describing the mannerisms would really indicate that the person doesn’t like who they are. I speak from experience: negativity is a major turn off. I have eaten by myself, gone to the movies by myself, and I can imagine what people are thinking: “Why is this person so sad?”
Now comes the part where I really have to vent about a comment Mystery Woman makes which literally set me off. For those people who have begun to read my posts, you’re probably aware that I do have a stuttering problem/speech impediment. I accept it as part of who I am. She writes referring a guy stumbling with his words, “At this point in time I have to wonder how long before the stammering and stuttering begins.” EXCUSE ME??? First of all, it sounds like you think if if someone starts to stutter or stammer then they are a weirdo.” I stutter every day, I don’t know if I have good days or bad days with my speech. I accept it will be like that. Honestly, reading that comment immediately took me back to the days of high school and college that I’d like to forget. You know, the kinds where I’d walk up to a girl and be like “H-h-h-h-ello Jes-sssica” and then she’d start giggling and walk away. That sounds like the type of girl you are, who’d laugh. I refuse to date any girl who has that mentality. I am not asking for sympathy. I do not milk my stuttering, although yes, I can admit it has made my life challenging personally and professionally. Honesty, I was agreeing with everything you said, and all it took was that one comment to torpedo it. I would never even want to date someone like you! I am a package deal-you accept me, you accept my stuttering.
Anyway, I’m really sorry for venting. No one likes to be preached to. Just ask Madonna’s father about that. (Haha). Thank you for your consideration of my thoughts, and I look forward to everyone’s thoughts.
P.S.-By the way, David, I did email you yesterday at your address. I can’t wait to hear from you.
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8:48 pm
I agree with Sexy Women.
The first thing I always notice is how the guy is dressed. The guy may have five masters degrees and any high level corporate title, and still… the first thing I always notice about any man is how he is dressed. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but it has to be color coordinated and fit well.
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8:58 pm
GREAT BLOG—whoever you may be as the author thereof
..”The next thing that would register in my unconscious mind is his posture. I have noticed that sometimes guys approach me with their hands in their pockets, shoulders hunched forward, heads tilted downwards and a blank stare on their faces. They probably don
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9:02 pm
Hello Steven,
I always enjoy reading your postings. The way u paraphrase your sentences reflects the Magna Cum laude quality in u. Keep it up guy.
I am not here to defend the mystery lady but according to my understanding, she was referring to a guy who starts
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10:06 pm
Hey all,
Mysterious Girl
Great blog, nice to get an insight into the female mind. I think what you say about timing and picking up on cues is important to remember. For me, I have no idea when to approach or not, I’m signally challenged. I just wander in blindly and hope for the best. I seriously need to learn more of David’s knowledge.
Steven K
I agree with Lou Bega. I think what she was describing was the nervous hesitence a bloke gets when he panics, as opposed to a legitimate speech problem.
I realise how much of a problem this has been for you throughout your life, but from the sounds of your posts perhaps you have let your stuttering overwhelm your thoughts/actions in daily life. Don’t take this the wrong way but perhaps you should try not worrying about what people will think of your speech, laugh at yourself, have fun with it if it all goes pear shaped in front of a girl.
Easier saied than done I know, especially with a lifelong problem such as yours, but ive found that in life the less you pay attention to your own problems, then others tend to do the same. They see that well if you don’t really care about it then why should I? Here in OZ we have a comedian called Steddie Eddie, he has cerebal palsy and shakes and can’t speak very fluently, but you know what, he is a bigtime success! This guy gets up in front of audiences of hundreds of people all over the country and kills it everytime becuase he is genuinly funny. People don’t laugh AT him they laugh WITH him. Sometimes he will even make jokes about his physical problems, and people laugh, but only because he says its ok to, and he doesn’t lose any respect in the process.
And as for the girls in high school, stuff em! High school is full of immature teens that aren’t sure of themselves let alone anyone else, the fact that they laughed at you shows that they 1; aren’t worth the time of day, and 2; probably have their own insecurities that haven’t been resolved.
Anyway I guess what I’m trying to say is maybe try to throw more caution to the wind and not put so much emphasis on whether people will laugh at you or not, and if they do, realise that they aren’t worth getting to know anyways!!
David
Yes I am in Australia
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10:21 pm
Hi yall! I’m really late today. We lost power up here for several hours and it looks like some people in even more remote parts of California than I’m in, yeah, whodda thought?, are going to be without power until Sunday.
It might be that dating is still new to me, I don’t know, but how do you get to the point where you’re thinking, “Great another lame ass pick up line!” I just can’t see myself doing that. I mean that the guy puts himself out there to talk to me. I find that flattering even if he ends up being someone I really don’t want to hang out with.
If I’m at a coffee shop by the beach and he’s wearing board shorts and a wife beater that seems totally appropriate to me. I’ve had the dubious honor of having taken care of many homeless people, and I’ve never once seen them in board shorts. I am more likely to ask if he’s a poser just hanging out rather than actually surfing. As for clothes, if what you wear has to be ironed, well at least do a passable job, spray it with the wrinkle release spray, or pay to have the cleaners do it. All I really care about in terms of men’s dress is that they wear pants that fit them. Both extremes are terribly unflattering. There’s a doctor at work who wears his jeans up above his waist…higher than most women I know and tight. I swear his voice would drop a couple of octaves if he’d change his pants. Then there is the way a lot of younger men wear theirs with the crotch of their pants at knee level. Ok, so I exaggerate but you get the point. It reminds me of a toddler’s diapers. As I recall, not a pretty thing at all.
But this all brings me to Wednesday afternoon at the Barnes & Noble. I was coming home from Ashland, and if you’re going to be passing by the mall and the B&N, I have to stop in. Its not like I can just drive a couple of miles to one so I have to make the best of my time. Anyway as I’m perusing the sports section this guy stops next to me. I smile. He smiles, but looks a little uncomfortable. I wander over to the history section and he does it again….and a third time in the mystery section. Just as I was about to go look for him and ask him why he didn’t say hello, son Mitch called needing some serious emo support, tlc, and wanting to know when I’d be home. I’ll just save it for next time……
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1:39 am
Sam
I thought you were in australia.
I have to tell all of you that this was my favorite week of blogging. Everyone really shared some amazing stories and advice.
It was exactly why i created this blog in the first place.
Friday night and I am home……so if anyone wants to play i am here.
It is raining in LA, and when it rains everyone hides.
Its been a really cold winter and for the first time in years i actually feel like i am am having a winter and being from NYC that makes me really happy.
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2:01 am
David: I would agree that this has been a good week for your blog. I have been reading, but limited in my time do to some seious New Years action.
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2:03 am
Jim
what action….may you share i am all eyes and ears
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2:13 am
Beautifil woman came to visit from out of state. Amazing 5 days of chemistry at a max level. We met on a none main stream dating service.
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2:14 am
Very cool nothing is better than an intensive 5 days with someone who you have off the charts chemistry with.
Are you going to see her again?
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2:23 am
I’m sure. She is amazing, my buddies about died. The main problem is we both have family and business. SO i dont see things happening beyon good times, and ultimate frustration. Long distance thing is hard.
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2:29 am
Greetings David, from the suburbs of Long Island,
So what did you want to ask me? I sent you that e-mail you requested. Look forward to hearing from you. Oh yes, in regard to the rain in California, you know it’s going to be 58 degrees here on Tuesday. How ironic that we’ve traded climates, just like a free ride and yet you already paid haha.
-SK.
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2:56 am
Jim
Long distance is tough……..
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2:57 am
Steven
I just sent you an email
I love all the rain and cold weather….i miss seasons.
LA can get a bit boring at times.
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3:33 am
Thanks all for the feed back !!
To the Australian guy: What part of Australia? I have cousins in Melbourne and will be going out there by Xmas of next year (assuming I can get time off work).
If I can give one last piece of advice….
Let’s pretend that you are one of the guys in my above story that I was a royal bitch to and completely blew off. Don’t even sweat it. Chalk it up to what it is: “A loopy fucking cunt” (any Deadwood fans in the house?)
Then move on. Chances are we aren’t compatible and I saw something right from the getgo that told me the same.
There is a right woman out there for you…..and as we all know, the “dating game” blows monkey balls (as far as I’m concerned). So keep your heads up and instead of focusing on the fact that a chick blew you off, focus on the ideal type of girl that you see yourself dating and keep those thoughts in your mind on a daily basis and I PROMISE you that she will come along some day.
Don’t dwell on the negatives.
I can’t explain why this happens….but if you think good thoughts on a daily basis and envision yourself dating the right type of girl for you, it will eventually materialize.
Thanks David for giving me the opportunity to voice my opinion and getting to know your readers a bit more ; )
- Mystery Girl
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4:55 am
Mystery Girl
Sorry not in Melbourne, but I have an uncle there.
I have to say its good to know not all female lawyers are as intimidating below the surface as they first appear;)
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4:59 am
Hey All,
Just got in from my trap lines.
Sam, it’s -27c here, you must be cookin.
Well, I’ve made a decision to come otta the woods, just because of this blog, and other minor things too. I’m going to move down to Virginia this spring or summer. Got a little concerned about the proximity of a big kodiak this morning, but she finally ambled away when I fired my 7.62 in her direction.
I believe all kids, when they leave home, live alone and take care of themselves for a few years before they make a mate commitment. You not only learn more about yourself, but you will get to the point of not relying on your mate to take care of you. Then, you should have the confidence that seems to be desired by both sexs.
Hey, mystery girl, us male humans have other things on our minds too. So don’t be so down on some dude because he seemed preocupied with someone or something else, just like you!
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5:06 am
Fred B
Yeah its still hot here but I live close to the beach so Im never too far from relief. Kodiak, is that a bear? how cool are they dangerous? Big? ive never seen a bear in the wild
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5:07 am
Oh,btw when a bitch wolf is preocupied, even the alpha male will walk away, unless she has a jucy tidbit knawing on!
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5:09 am
Yeah Aussie, that is a BIG bear and you don’t want to piss em off!
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5:10 am
David;
“I have to tell all of you that this was my favorite week of blogging. Everyone really shared some amazing stories and advice.”
So long as I have been here, I agree 100% with that statement. It is funny because everyday since the new year, the momentum that has accumulated each day is incredible. I agree that this has been a wonderful week of blog mania
I have been thinking it every day…your word is confirmation.
I have come to the conclusion, that staying on thread…well why didn’t I always do that?
I would liken it to finding that hot spot and staying there until the explosion. If you lose your focus, the sensations are less intense and you might miss the big “O” of a lifetime.
So it seems to be with comment relating to blog content. There is still room to veer off a little, but staying with the mindset and focus set before me has made being here a little more insightful and much more interactivly enjoyable. Without my conscious decision on mindset for the new year….something has been birthed deep inside of me where that is concerned.
I feel the “trainers mind” that once drove me so forceably returning within. I loved the job as trainer, and I love the return of that mind over matter, with the drive to be a positive motivator in my own, as well as other peoples lives.
Thank you David for this place to come. I really see in this past week a community of people coming in and being open without inhibitions. I am glad to be here to share in the wealth of variety….variety of people, opinions, feelings and support.
May every week build upon the next this year to come. I can see it and feel it! Exciting to think what tomorrow might bring
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5:11 am
Have you seen a movie called ‘The Last Trapper”? I think thats what its called. Is that what you do? It looked like a really appealing lifestyle, living in the mountains off the land. But must get lonely if no companion.
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5:13 am
Bertie,
sorry about the weather you are getting down there, but I’m glad it stayed more south than north, it’s rough enough. That is one reason why I’m planning the move to more moderate climes!
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5:21 am
Sam,
it’s a way of life, you have to live it, have’nt seen too many movies recently. This kind of life is not a movie. You have to have inner and outer tough skin and remember ‘looks are skin deep’. Yeah I get feelings of loneliness, but there is always something to take your mind off it.
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5:28 am
Yeah the countryside just looked really beautiful, but I’m sure it holds all measure of dangers. Hey I’m from Australia we have the deadliest creatures in the world! You should check out the movie it was a doco about a real guy, not hollywood.
I saw another documentary about this craaazy bloke that lived with a group of Grizzlys, they eventually ate him and his girlfriend.
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5:44 am
David, sorry off thread here.
Sam, I was very close to emigrating to Australia in ‘69.
Had the visa and everything, even the embassy was going to help me get a job. Then, I got homesick when I called home, so I went home. Often think what my life would have been like if I had done so. Oh, Well! I’m reasonably happy I chose the path I did.
I’ve warmed up with some of Canada’s finest, time to pull the curtains and crawl in with the dogs!
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5:55 am
Fred B.
I like living in the countryside despite the obvious challenges. U must be having a great time..
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6:01 am
Fred B
Come for a holiday!
But maybe crawling in with pussies would be more appealing?? lol
Australia is a great country, but I want to travel and see the world. Europe, and at some stage the U.S. I just saw some pics of L.A on Markus’s website and maybe this is my ignorance speaking here but it looks a realy great place to be. We get alot of bad press over here about L.A so apologies if I offend anyone – David!
David
Please get Mystery Girl back here more often, I like her style.
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6:12 am
David:
Horny Lisa should dropby with her ideas. Mystery lady sounded so serious at the start, but..well..she may as well not be that tough..
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9:48 am
QUESTION for David, Mystery Girl, Etc…. (even possible blog topic)!!
The Next Step. Once a guy has the right approach, makes a decent connection, and gets a (correct) phone number…. What’s the best way in general to handle the first date to help ensure that there can be more dates after that one?
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11:08 am
Sam,
That movie where the guy got eaten by the grizzlies he had been living amongst was a bit nutty. He was anthropomorphizing wild animals. Animals aren’t furry humans. Pretty simple.
Fred,
It isn’t really anything new for here. That’s just the way winter is. Its been worse for southern CA where they’ve had all the fires recently and there isn’t much they can do to prevent soil erosion and landslides. Actually it would have been a semi-blessing if the power had been off much longer. Since we’d already passed the 18 hour mark without power, meaning, no water, no heat, and no cooking, that I was considering checking out local hotels with hot tub suites.
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11:23 am
I’m glad Mystery Girl mentioned “Honest Joes”. She described that sort of guy well. In my book, nice guys DON’T finish last … maybe a little slower, but they get the REAL prize in the end.
It doesn’t really matter what a guy looks like as long as he’s well put together, kind, genuine and confident.
I’ve gone out with 19 guys in the last 6 months. At least 3 times that many others have asked. I think I have a pretty good instinct for sorting out the nice ones. I’ve only had a couple disappointing experiences.
I’ll stick with the Honest Joes. After all, there’s nothing hotter than when a good man gets that hungry look in his eye.
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1:28 pm
Bertie and every one in California,
I feel sad about the fact that u people have no electricity..Hope the situation gets rectified pretty soon..
Can u imagine living without electricity in your daily life? How would it feel like? Would u be able to adapt & improvise or u wd consider moving to another region?
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1:58 pm
Yes, its Great Blog, Nice…
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9:34 pm
Theresa,
19 guys in 6 months!!!!! Were these set ups or men you met and agreed to go a date with? Have you come to the conclusion yet that you are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to picky and looking for perfection?
I hate to say it, but you just contradicted yourself about the book you wrote. Sorry, but now that I know a bit more about you your book doesn’t sound appealing.
Steven,
Since I am a loyal reader of DW’s I thought of you instantly when Mystery Girl mentioned the part about “stammering” and “stuttering”. I was worried how you would take that. Just ignore it, she doesn’t sound like a winner to me anyway.
Mystery Girl,
I understand how you hate when people bother your when you are in a state of concentration on a case, but think about it this way. Even the baritsa that took your order has tons of orders on their minds and they still know that they have to give great customer service to the next order. I say this analogy to let you know that everyone out there has tons of things on their minds every second. So, you are nothing special in that area. However, I believe you may be missing great opportunities to have a quick chat with a potential date. Give the blokes a break and give them yoru full attention for those two minutes. It’s not going to ruin your case. I suggest you put in your ipod headphones and pretend you are listening to your iPod. It is a sure way to keep people from chatting with you.
S
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9:37 pm
Joan,
How I knew that you weren’t going to change your ways and stay on thread this new year. LOL LOL
However, can I make a suggestion to you. If you break up your post such into two post it will be much easier to read. I love to hear what you say, but since your posts are so long I just skip most of it.
S
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3:27 am
Shannon:
I could always pull a Britney Spears and walk into Starbucks with a shaved head in a drug induced haze in order to scare away anyone from talking to me….(and I would still be smarter than some of the judges that I have argued before in the past
)
But yes….I am not getting any younger and I agree that I should make the best of out these “chance encounters” even if it means going out of my way.
Theresa: You go girl !!
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3:03 pm
Lou,
I have done that. Trouble is I don’t know how to get water from the well without the electricity. I’ve had a wood stove for heat and I miss it a lot. I don’t miss chopping it much or toting it in the house. I did a lot of reading and playing board games with the boys when the power was off, but if it had been off for another 24 or so, we’d have had to find other accommodations. That not being able to flush thing is a big issue, and not really interested in building an outhouse. Somehow I don’t think the neighbors would approve.
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3:15 pm
MG:
It appears from my admittedly limited vantage point that you sabotage your chances in these chance encounters as a result of having your ‘bitch shield’ up.
As long as you do, no worthwhile guy in his right mind will approach you, because only the most cocky, swaggering jerks can treat getting rudely blown off as though it were no big deal. Unless you’ve tried cold approaches of MOTOs yourself, don’t go preaching to us about how we should just “get over” the occasionally rude encounter. It takes a lot of courage to do a cold approach, and there is no better formula for destruction of the very confidence you say you are looking for that a strng of unsuccessfu approaches, or a rude encounter ofthe sort I mention.
I’m always looking for an IOI before I cold approach. No IOI, no approach. If you want to be approached, show it. If not, don’t complain when it doesn’t happen.
Teresa: Sorry, you’re not fooling anyone. Nice Guys DO finish last. Women force us to be bad boys/abusive jerks if we want to get laid (and you know we do). Which is why all your mags have agony columns (waaah, my husband/bf is suuuuch a jerk), and the domestic violence statistics are what they are.
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4:14 am
Shannon;
LOL LOL Well, I write very intriguing posts, so I won’t be breaking them up, but will try to keep the good content that seems to just be natural for me flowing out as it naturally must.
Oh, I think I am doing outstanding as far as staying on thread. I will always add a sprinkle of my sparkleing personality throughout, because that is just who I am…and I feel pretty accepted for who I am here in the community, as well as everywhere I go.
I am a “celebrity” in my community, because I recon people just like me for me. I am blessed.
Thank you for your concern in trying to help me, but I think I am a cause, and certainly not a LOST cause
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3:43 pm
jesus christ mysterywoman must be from the 916 area code; typical lawyer or legal field worker that’s junked out on Starbucks and the misfortunes of Britney Spears.
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11:13 pm
to mysterygirl,
….I remember being in deep concentration, and didn’t like to be bothered. I am very glad, I am no longer that way…..mostly,…anyway….
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