Sexting Slowly
September 29, 2009 
8 Comments
Let’s talk today about “sexting.” This is something we’ve discussed before here in the blog, but I want to talk about it a little differently today.
Sexting is really all about escalating. I am not trying to sound like a pickup artist (as most of you well know!), but when you’re dirty texting back and forth you really want to take the woman on a journey.
Think of sexting like a road heading into the mountains. The road starts out nice and flat, but you want to test things out ahead of time. You want to make sure your tires are sound and that the brakes will work.
So to do that, you will send something very simple like, “I had a thought . . . ” If she takes the bait, she’ll text you back asking you what that thought was.
Then you can write, “Well, last night I had this dream about you . . .” When you do that, you’re testing a little bit to see if she goes for it. This is good, because if you really had a dream about someone, you would probably share it with that person in bursts (and not all at once).
You want to be able to take it slowly. Really, this is mental masturbation! If you can get her to mentally masturbate about the thought of you having sex with her, she’s going to want to sleep with you when you meet up. So you’re really just testing the road.
It’s also about being 100% in control. For instance, you can say something like, “Yeah, last night I learned about this new position, and it was really hot. So, how’s your trip to D.C.?”
It’s a giveaway-takeaway. You want to constantly give and take away from her.
The more you do that, the hotter she will become. You’re teasing her.
It’s really the same thing with sex. The guy who goes straight for the vagina and pounds away is not going to please the woman. The guy who massages, loves and cherishes the woman is the one who is going to get that woman totally hot.
It’s the same thing for sexting and for sex. Everything is about foreplay. Life is about foreplay.
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Well I have to tell you that the timing of this blog is pretty unbelievable. I met a guy recently and we have been doing quite a lot of crazy hot sexting over the last couple weeks…
I have never been so “naughty” and sexually unrestrained with anyone I’ve only gone out with a few times before this — and I KNOW it’s because he did exactly what David said in this blog–
He didn’t go right for the sex in the texts in the beginning. There was a LOT of teasing and a LOT of innuendo, and I just got really comfortable with him (and really UNworried that he might be a creep!).
Once that happened, I’ve had some of the most unbelievable orgasms with my phone in one hand — WOW. And David is right, when we had sex for real after that, it was AMAZING and so unbelievably hot!
I won’t tell you some of the things we did the first time we had sex — things I usually wouldn’t have even considered doing until way later before.
I don’t know…something about the sexting just made me feel aroused all day long…
Guys, listen to David about this…. IT’S SO TRUE!!!
cybering and phone sex comes pretty easy for me, I just talk for a bit then make a comment of tease her a litle and see how she responds to it, If she makes a negative comment, I don’t go any further,build it up slowly if she laughs or teases back.After that you got’em.
The great thing about this that i’ve noticed, is that when you make suttle teasing remarks, or just simply intrigue her, she will more times than not make that first sexual comment.
And by her doing that she’s aparently given you a little bit of free rein to run with it and escalate a sexual conversation. I won’t ever make that sexual comment first. But they got to be cute or clever comments. Nothing to graphic. Otherwise you’ll blow it.
Hi David,
I enjoyed meeting you briefly at the PUA Summit, even though I know you’re not a “PUA.” Also enjoyed your talk. You are a very dynamic speaker, and I appreciate that you’re not teaching men the art of superficial connections but rather to see women as people.
Hope to cross paths with you again one of these days soon.
xoxo,
Erika Awakening
I can’t believe this post didn’t get more comments! Are you people out there not sexting? Part of the way Mr. Go Down and I kept our relationship hot was via text message.
We worked in the same building, but in different parts of the office and he would send me naughty little bits throughout the day so that by the end of the day I was ready to lick his skin off!
I can’t take credit for the amzing texting — it was mostly his doing. He would promt me with something that would remind me of our last encounter. For example, “It was amazing to touch your body last night.”
Instantly I was flashing back. Then he would ask me a question about the encounter. “What was your favorite thing that I did to you?”
We’d discuss that a bit and then he’d bring up our next rendezevous. “What do you want me to do to you tonight?”
He’s no longer in the same part of the country as me, but from time to time he’ll send me a text that says something like, “I was thinking about you while I handled some things this morning.”
He was very clever because all of this texting quickly made him my fantasy man. Even though I was sexually invlved with a couple of other men, I often thought of him while I was “handling things.”
I think sexting is a great way to spice things up. The only problem is sometimes with sexting, people take nude photos of themselves which in itself isn’t a problem but I would suggest to only send photos of yourself to someone you trust unless you want it spread online.
Wow…I think its strange that its encouraged as much as it is. Not that I think its immoral on the ground of sexual content, but rather its all about playing games. I figured women didn’t like games or thats at least what they say.
eric
these games david is talking about are a little different than what i think you’re thinking of.
no we dont like “games” that entail his being a “player.” we dont like being led on, to expect one thing only to get something totally different. we want honesty.
the games that we women like have to do with flirting and banter. we love to be teased, to be told that we’re gorgeous or sexy. we love to be made aware of the fact that our man is thinking “dirty thoughts” about us during a normal workday. this kind of teasing and playing is HOT HOT.
out of the blue comments that arent even erotic are nice too. like posting on her facebook wall a couple times a day “you’re beautiful.” “have i told you today that i love you?” “i miss you.” steamy or not, knowing he is thinking about me when i’m not there is precious.