I am not sure if you can do a search but David had some good stuff on approaching women in the gym. If I remember well, you do not bother them while on the cardio machines!! If they have their ipod headphones one, one tip I remember is you gesture to them to take them off and ask them something like “I notice how much you are into your workouts and would love to hear what you are listening to right now”…and if she responds, ie Maddona, you say I love Madonna, I have seen her live or have you seen her live…..just take off from there….just a short interaction, saying good bye “thanks, I ll let you go back to your workout, enjoy, see you later” and then WALK away…. I am sure you will see her again at the gym…and say hi to her “Hey Madonna girl, what are you playing right now?”….and so on. I think you will benefit from the bootcamp. As David says, it is a lot of work.

I am more interested in booty mates the podcasts references:-)

Drop all that darn texting business dude! My gut feeling says she likes you just because she played your CD. Be a man, ask her out “I would love you to give me some tanning tips while I ask for your advice on all the different signing and concert options my agent is giving me…being an up and coming star is a bit overwhelming…smiling of course” The worse thing that can happen is she says no and if you can’t face her again you stop going to tanning salons and save yourself skin cancer when you hit your 50s:-)

~J~

If I dont get the courage for that I will try the more conservative method you mentioned in the second paragraph…

thank you so much! any others>>>

You’re concerned it’s just about her work, yet she’s carried on at least one text conversation with you… and played your music for all to hear, at the time of your scheduled visit, so you’ll know… You’ve also had conversations where you’ve learned a little about her… She isn’t exactly blowing you off.

If anything at this point she may have reason to believe it’s all about marketing your music…

Testing, testing, testing… Put yourself out there and take a chance… That’s the only testing that will mean anything and move things forward. If she does say no, you’ve met someone who really appreciates your talent…

Half joking here: Next time, bring a foam bat. Give it to her and tell her you’re slow picking up on subtle signs. You want her to join you for (some activity) a picnic at the park, if she’s available she should whack you on the head with the bat. – (note above: “you want” and “if she’s available” you’re confident, and if she’s not available(interested) you can still visit the establishment. She’ll let you know if she’s interested but not available…)

It sounds like if you invited her to a studio show, you still wouldn’t feel you know where you stand… Maybe at/during your first get together you can invite her to the studio followed by some food at your place… (Link some one-on-one activity before or after the studio…)

feel free to disregard any of the above, just responding to your call for suggestions…

~J~

You are doing great with your tanning girl so far. You’ve showed a bit of who you are over time so you are intriguing them. You are also showing that you are friendly and approachable.

What you are NOT doing is getting personal enough. Tanning is just the context in which you met her. You now need to lead the conversation in more personal arenas. Ask her more about herself, share more about who you are… and better…. ask her out.

i do believe though that there is someone out there for me, with whom i will have the strongest “connection” with it takes a while for one to find that “one” as the expression goes.. and that while, including meeting really cool people, is what i think involves all these “soul connections”.. some connect for a longer period, some connect for only a short period.. but that’s life

again, interesting philosophy

I have started tanning this summer (yes I wanted some color the sun was not giving me). I started going there shortly after studying the blog and the videos on this site. I came in there with alot of energy and confidence and talked to everyone (Making contact, asking questions, etc). I also (for fun) tried the text message social proof David mentions (and it worked, I think). Out of all the women that work there I start to dig one in particular. ironically, she was the one I demonstrated my social proof to. The next time I came in she tells me “You look so farmiliar!” (Was she thinking about me when I wasnt there?) I used this time to bring up the fact I play shows every weekend around town with my band (Music is my passion). I ended up giving her and her co worker a CD and told them to text me if they liked it, and if they didnt, to not text me (jokingly). Both of them did, and I did back a little, but I didnt know how to escalate from normal customer to something more, so I didnt want to make it that obvious I liked her. That was the only night we texted, and it wasnt much. I saw her again this week and we talked about her weekend and her friends before I had my session. When I got out, her and her co worker had my CD on through the sound system in the store. I laughed and talked to them a little bit. I found out her co worker was getting off at nine and she was getting off at eleven. She had to close the store by herself and it can get pretty boring there. So I said “You should text me with random tanning tips when you get bored tonight after your friend leaves.” and…… SHE NEVER DID I am having a super hard time reading this girl. Can anyone help me out?

~J~

Do you have any openers for gym. For example, I am about to join Xsport fitness center and while talking to a trainer I see a women who is very attractive. What should I say. Sometimes alot of women I see doing cardio exercises and most likely they don’t wanted to be bothered by some strangers.

How should start a conversation and go forward.

Thanks.