I had a great conversation today with someone about the difference between what a relationship is like the first three to six months, and what it is like once it really “settles in.” It’s really interesting if you think about it.

In the beginning, you try to impress each other. You do special things for each other. When they come over you set an intent for the evening — you light candles, put on some music and maybe make a special dinner.

As the relationship progresses, though, you stop setting intents. It’s almost like you stop listening to each other. “I know he (or she) likes candles, but I’m just not going to light them anymore because I’m lazy (or because we’re in routine world or because they are as attracted to me as a piece of furniture).”

There’s a lot of things that we should keep doing for each other because they are fun and are things the other person likes. There are also things we shouldn’t be doing for each other.

One of those things is settling into the comfort zone where we stop doing the great romantic things you used to do for each other and letting the inner slob come out. Men tend to start farting more, leaving the door open when they go to the bathroom, and really just leaving their smell all over the place.

Women may not walk around farting, but they tend to start leaving their stuff everywhere. There are products in every nook and corner, and underwear hanging from every hook and hanger. Some women will start wearing sweatpants every single night.

We tend to stop doing things for each other because we get comfortable. Of course we love the other person for who they are, and nobody has to get dressed up for their partner every day. You need to be 100% comfortable in a relationship, but you also need to do all the things that were amazing at the beginning.

Click here for some great ideas on how to keep the fire lit in your relationship.