Profile Liars
August 25, 2009 
21 Comments
Are you online? Do you date online? Are you someone who really has trouble meeting people in person, so you think going online to meet people is going to be the right thing for you to do?
Are you one of those profile liars? Oops, I didn’t mean to call you a profile liar so quickly . . . but are you one of those people who write an online profile based on everything you want to be instead of who you actually are?
That is a really bad thing to do. When you do that, you will meet people who are really excited to meet your fantasy version of yourself instead of the real you. You might as well call yourself Superman or Supergirl.
Are you somebody whose Internet persona is 40 pounds lighter, because you want to meet someone and you believe that once you meet people you can convince them that you’re on magical diet that’s going to instantly get rid of 40 pounds off your body? Are you a 46 year old woman who puts that she is 38 years old on her online profile because you believe that men your age won’t want to date you?
Are you one of those men who puts that he is 37 years old (when you are really 47 years old) because you’re stuck on wanting to date 20 year old girls who don’t particularly want to date you? What should you do? Date some women who are in great shape and in your age group!
Also, why don’t you take better care of yourself so that maybe you’ll attract the kind of woman you want? It’s amazing how many men I’ve interviewed who say that they only want to date women who are in great shape, but they themselves have not hit a gym in about ten years.
You get who you are in life. If I didn’t work out, and I was flabby and overweight, I wouldn’t expect my girlfriend to be in great shape because that is not who I would be. Life is a mirror.
If you want someone in great shape, then get yourself in great shape. Want someone who is well-read? Read. If you want someone who wants to travel the world with you, then find someone else who travels.
Life works that way, and it works that way on the Internet as well as in real life. It’s amazing, though, how many men will criticize women’s bodies when their own body looks like it hasn’t seen the inside of a gym in 20 years. If you work out, you will get a person who works out.
You get who you are because it’s all about common interests. I could never be with someone who doesn’t take care of themselves because I would think they were lazy. I can’t be around lazy people because they annoy me.
Then again, if I was with someone who worked out ten times a day, that would also drive me up the wall. I cannot be with the female version of Lance Armstrong. I don’t want to go on a 75-mile bike ride on a Sunday. Maybe a seven and a half mile ride, but 75 miles is not my idea of fun.
The Internet gives you an opportunity to really describe who you are, so stop trying to find the fantasy version of you and start dealing with the reality version of you. Be proud of who you are. Be proud of your accomplishments . . . just don’t list them all in the first five lines of your profile.
Be careful what you put out there when you’re dating online. If you’re not having good luck dating online, the reason very well might be that you are misrepresenting yourself. If you are then, really, you are not going to get what you want.
Liars never seem to get what they want in life. They always get exposed.
If you want to learn how to master online dating, how to write an amazing online profile, and how to find and ATTRACT the women you most want (and STOP attracting them women you don’t want to meet), then be sure to check out my Men’s “Secrets Of Online Dating” product.
I am actually kind of the opposite of the person you describe in this blog. I am always worried about whether men will find me attractive, so I would rather any man I meet see me live and in the flesh…I don’t want a particularly good photo of me — even if it is a current photo of me — to lead to a bad meeting. I prefer knowing that a man who has asked me out has seen me and already likes what he sees.
I don’t personally understand people who lie in their profiles. Those people seem to sometimes get angry when the people they meet reject them because they are not what they portreyed themselves to be, but that is the wrong way to look at it. People get angry because they were lied to…period. Whether you think someone SHOULD be more open-minded about the kind of person to whom they are attracted is irrelevant. Lying and deliberately misleading someone is wrong…period.
great post – can’t wait to read your next one!
While there is some truth to this, I believe more often than not social skills overplay physical appearance. I remember David has even talked about his college friend who was self described as ‘short and pudgy’ and would attract the girls because of his confidence.
You can be in impeccable physical condition but if you aren’t secure with yourself and confident, you won’t attract a beautiful woman. I’ve seen many average to very unhealthy looking guys win over beautiful women because of there charisma.
This is evolutionary and programed into our biology. A man may garnish attention from women because of his physique but in the end a woman will choose a less attractive man to be her mate if he exudes more confidence. A confident man will re-produce while an unconfident one will not. Simple as that!
I also speak from personal experience. I always did sports growing up and was a competitive long distance runner for several years. Though lean and fit, I was not a particularly confident man and received little attention from the opposite sex.
Now I still run for fitness but have probably gained 5-10lbs and am not even close to the same shape I used to be in. That being said, I lead a more fulfilling and balanced life and now have the confidence to talk to anyone, anywhere and maintain my composure.
I must confess, part of my transformation I attribute to reading David Wygant blogs and using his products. Thank-you DW for your insight!
My Conclusion:
Physical Condition= Important
Self Confidence=More important.
If you work on improving yourself in both areas you should be a very attractive individual!
hahahh love the new pictures you are adding to the blog, and this is a great refresher to find balance in life, and live a attractive lifestyle!
Katherine-
I tottally agree its important to be completely honest and sincere instead of saying you are 10 years younger.
Did you ever met a man who lied about his profile?
You are so right on that David!
Life is totally mirror, you get what you feel. I also think it helps to lower our standard a bit in the beginning is good.
hey Jeff how are you buddy?
Rick-
i am good thanks! whats new with you?
hey gotta new place now, and if you ever come this side of the town, let me know!
oh nice i remember you were talking about it last time, it finally happened, how you like the new place how is the neighborhood?
Well it’s superb, nice place its a condo, and i can see the ocean right from my balcony. Just love it!
cool i am ever that way i will make sure i hit you up thanks buddy!
Liars never get it right, and always get exposed. I also like the saying, the truth shall set you free and it always does!
Greg-
That was a great inspiring story from you! I also believe that nothing is more fulfilling than living a balanced lifestyle!
Thank-you Lance.
Is life a mirror? Perhaps at times…. I see this as an arbitrary statement and certainly don’t take it for the gospel.
While a positive attitude will go far, often luck/timing/environment and miscellaneous circumstances play a pivotal role in ones personal/social/professional advancement.
As a musician, in my field talent is critical. What I have learned to be equally (if not more!) important, however, is networking and social contacts.
you mentioned lying in your previous blog. i like to date older women like 7 years older than me. but i’m afraid that if i tell them my real age they wouldn’t want to date me. I don’t tell them my age but they can usually figure it out for themselves when we talk. have any ideas on how to build my confidence in this scenario?
Hey Todd, Just like there are women who want to date people who are older than them there are women out there who want to date men who are younger than them. If you’re honest I honestly think you will find one. But, out of curiosity, how old are you?
Again. Great advice David!
I remember burying my head in my hands having to give my age to an online dating site. I figured that I would not be searched for because the age rage of the women I was attracted to, was much younger than me. I was afraid to be instantly ruled out and honestly I was, and with good reason. If a woman does not want to date someone twice her age that is her choice and I should respect that.
However I once used a social site and gave a false age as an act of desperation. I look a lot younger than I am so it worked. I got responses I never had received with my real age. But it only took about a week before a woman called me out on it and I felt miserable for doing it.
Through that same social site I noticed that this happened. When I found myself not caring about the age difference, and even found it quite humorous to ask a hot twenty year old “So. How does it feel to be attracted to a man almost twice your age?”, they loved it. I wouldn’t advertise it but my age was prominently displayed. There were no secrets. Most of the time our interactions were so fun and flirty they didn’t seem to care. Of course there were a few in which it did matter so we stayed as just fun friends; but I was okay with it.
The wonderful woman I am seeing exclusively right now is half my age and we could not be happier with each other. My advice for Todd above would be to use it to your advantage. First develop yourself into a complete man and let women feel that in you. It’s exciting for most women to meet a younger man that his his life together. This is one reason why I find it easy to date younger women. Men at her age can be very immature and she wants a strong masculine presence in her life. Secondly, turn the tables around towards her. My girlfriend say things to me like SHE is robbing the cradle when the opposite is true. I say things like, “When I get older you’re going to love me more.” and we role play with it. It’s fun and flirty. Just please remember to never use someone else as comparison to build yourself.
When I get approached by an older woman asking my age I sometimes reply with something like, “I’m 17. I’m so glad my mother increased my curfew otherwise I wouldn’t have met you.”, but then again I’m a bust balls kind of person. When it comes down to having a great conversation with someone I am attracted to, our age difference is boring and overdone. So it’s not too difficult to not even mention it. If you are discussing things that excite you both, such as your common interests, the subject will come up on it’s own and usually by then it’s too late. She will already be so attracted to you, your age won’t matter much at all. Just make the connection with her first.
Thank you Crystal and Peter for your help. Peter I think you are right when you say that age difference is boring and overdone. I think women are interested in the common interests and who you are as a person. I noticed that today when I meet an older women today and she didn’t know my age but I could tell she was interested in me however I couldn’t bring my self to ask her out on a date because I kept thinking what will she think if she finds out my age. To answer your question Crystal , I am 18 and have dated a few women who were 23 and you are right peter because they just forgot about my age and didn’t care how old I was but that they had a good time with me. But how do I bring my self to ask a women out who is older than me. Should I just ask her on a date and when the time comes to talk about my self tell her my age?
Hey Todd, I think the age difference issue might be a problem for you for a few more years because you can’t legally drink and the women you are attracted to can. But, eventually I don’t see why a four or five year difference will be that big of an issue.
Although, I would like to suggest womething to you. The times that age differences have become an issue for me has never been about age — it has been about the miles. At 18 I was a senior in high school. If I had been dating a 23-year old man, it is likely that he would have been out of college and starting his career. Now, five years may not seem like a lot of time, but the amount of experience a person gains and the maturing that happens from age 18 to 23 can potentially be vast.
As another example, a few years ago I went on a date with a man that (I found out after the fact) was over 10 years older than me. I learned while on our date, that he was divorced and had an 18-year-old adult child. I was only 27 and that FREAKED me out. Also, at one point in during the date he mentioned the year he graduated from high schiil — 1988 — and it occured to me that I was in the third grade that year. Yeah, it grossed me out.
However, recently I have been seeing a man who is also about ten years older than me. Buthe has never been married and has no children. We have had more similar experiences in life and the age difference never grosses me out. Perhaps he’s more immature than the other man. At any rate, I guess I’m saying — in general — it’s probably better to stick to people your own age because you are more likely to have a similar maturity level and to be in the same place in life.
I do a have a few questions for you though. Why are you attracted to women who are 23? Why aren’t you attracted to women who are 18, 19, 20? Why are you afraid to ask older women out? Do you lack something you think they want?