If your date is boring, at least you still can have fun together doing whatever activity you have planned.

As far as dinner dates, I never make dinner AS THE date. I make hanging out, going to an event, doing an activity the date… and if I like the other person enough, we might continue into coffee or dinner.

It’s so much better that way.

For CJ,

To go to a deeper level of connection, ask the right questions. You can go beyond the “what do you do” conversations by first answering those questions yourself in more interesting ways. Lead by example.

Also, by asking the right questions, I mean… ask for people’s motivations and feelings on what they do in life. If you keep digging deeper, you’ll find what you’re looking for.

And if you really can’t go that deep with a person, maybe you should let that person go. Sometimes you just don’t have chemistry.

So the idea that you can have a fun and romantic first date that has that element removed is awesome David!

Thanks for the advice, David. I’ll have to pay more attention, and maybe what I think is approachable isn’t coming across that way. And if I’m creating my experience w/ my thoughts I’ll definitely work on changing that. I really do love the advice you give on your site, and hope all the guys will take it to heart; your stuff is good!

First, my great dates. I live in a town that actually plans great stuff for the community to do and I have to go to a loto fo these events because I am an entertainment repoter — so I’ve been bringing fellas with me on my dates. Big-band music in the park, plays that I have to review, eating and assessing food at the county fair, concerts at the Buffalo Chip, listening to CDs I have to review, belly-dancing classes and visiting the new hookah bar.

That sort of stuff. It has been great and I realized that it’s stuff that anyone can do — you just have to read the newspaper to see what’s been going on. Almost every local paper has a section that lists events — do what David says and skip the dinner and a movie. We’ve also done stuff like go to the local book store, pick out magazines to read and sit and read them and then dicuss what we read — or driven around in the country.

Okay, now my question, David. How do I move beyond the resume-talk. Just because something fun is going on doesn’t mean that the conversation automatically goes beyond where I work, what I do and all that stuff. I know everyone has a deeper level that they operate on — their feelings, ideas, etc — but with some people it is virtually impossible to get to that level. Any advice?

Guys approach in the midwest? I must live in a different part than where you were living …

I actually really like this idea of the “casual” type dates — dates where you’re doing stuff (like walking on the beach, going to a store, running errands, going to a museum) because it makes it so comfortable to develop conversation without having to do a “resume exchange…”

Let me ask you a question.

Are you open and approachable?

A lot of women complain that men do not approach but are not aware of what signals they are giving off.

Do you smile at men you are attracted to?

Do you look over and make eye contact?

What about your body language is it open or closed?

I have found that most women do not make themselves approach friendly due to the way they think.

They go out and think men do not approach so what they think about they bring about!

Let me know