Pictures on a Dating Site
August 3, 2008 
15 Comments
Pictures on a Dating Site By David Wygant
Match.com. What does David have to say about match.com? Or Yahoo personals? Or any one of the number of online dating sites?
This is an open letter to all of you who are paranoid as hell to post your profile on an online dating site:
Wake up! The number one excuse that people give for not putting themselves on a dating site is that they are so afraid that someone is going to find out.
Let me tell you something: if somebody finds out, then they are on that dating site too!
Let’s say that you are in the office and that hot girl you were attracted to but afraid to talk to walks over to you and says, “hey Jim, I saw your profile on match.com.”
What are you going to do in that situation? You’re going to look at her and say, “really? I didn’t know you were on match.com too?”
She’s only going to come over and tell you that she saw your profile if she’s somewhat interested. She’s not going to come over and say, “I saw your profile on match.com, what are you doing on there?” The same thing that you’re doing on there – trying to meet somebody! You don’t need to defend yourself, because she’s on there too!
Everyone is so afraid that somebody is going to see their profile online – but if somebody recognizes you from match.com and approaches you in public, it means that they are attracted to you and want to talk to you! Otherwise, they wouldn’t say anything, they would just run and hide.
I’ve seen people walking around whose profiles on match.com I’ve seen when I’ve been doing profile work for clients. I’ve seen their pictures and their profiles, and I’ll look at them and I’ll hide – because I don’t want to talk to them! I don’t feel like walking over to them and saying, “hey, the other day I was looking at your profile on match.com, and I didn’t know that you liked to run naked through the rain.”
The great thing about posting your profile on online dating sites is that it is now socially accepted. Put your picture online – who cares? It doesn’t matter. You want people to know that you’re single.
It’s so funny that people complain all of the time about being single, but then they try to hide the fact that they are single. They go to a party and someone asks, “so, you’re single?” And they respond, “yeah, I’m single” in a depressed voice, rather than saying, “yeah, I’m single. Do you know any great people to introduce me to?”
People are so afraid to put it out there. Being on the internet is now socially acceptable. Get yourself on a dating site. Yes, I’m sure I’ll get a ton of comments and emails about how there are crazy people online – but there are crazy people everywhere!
I see crazy people online all the time. The other night we were doing an internet product – which I will release soon, it’s fantastic! It’s a two-hour audio with what is right now about a 75-page book accompanying it about how to date online. It’s my first full online dating product besides Girls Tell All: Secrets of Online Dating.
And it was great – it happened at the end of a bootcamp, we recorded the whole session with a bunch of guys, and I just walked them through how to date online.
So during this evening, I was on jdate.com – yeah I am a New York Jew, whatever! I have my profile up on a couple of dating sites because it’s fun and I learn a lot. I can write things. Most of it is research, but I have gone out on a few internet dates.
So I’m on this site, and a woman IMs me. We’re basically just chatting away, and she’s saying, “yeah, I just don’t really meet anybody online, I don’t know what it is,” while she’s chatting with me. You don’t meet anybody online because you have a bad attitude!
You have to realize that people are on there, and you can shop. It’s so great. It’s like midnight right now, and we can just shop for people online.
Patrick, what are you in the mood for right now? Would you like a brunette?
Patrick: I like blondes, personally.
David: Alright, a blonde. So why don’t we get on yahoo.com right now and go find some blondes. It’s like a convenience store for people, 24 hours a day!
You can even click and see who is online right now and find people. It’s instantaneous and fun.
For those of you who have never tried online dating, you really need to listen to this audio series that I will release soon. In two hours of audio, I’m going to tell you all the ins and outs of online dating, and you’ll have a blast online.
Online dating is like going to 7-11 – for people!
Todays video is all about how to have fun when meeting the opposite sex. Stop chasing and being so uptight when you meet the opposite sex.
I couldn’t agree more – I think online dating has become much more socially acceptable now that a lot of us are “growing up” with the technology.
Facebook, MySpace, Blogging, The Web 2.0, Texting – it’s defined our generation – embrace it!
Don’t have much to say about match… I’ve never used it. Gotta love myspace though! Embrace it indeed
i don’t know anything about online dating…. maybe some day : )
Ya, I felt the stereotypical way about online dating for a while, and then after the bootcamp, I just dropped the bullshit. Its actually alot of fun once you get into it. Hard at first, and then I get the hang of it.
Online dating can be lots of fun. Manage expectations, and be respectful.
I was on Match for about a year and got very discouraged because the gentlemen I was meeting were no honest about themselves, age or weight. It was always a huge shock for me so I gave up. Anyone else have the same experience?
Deni. I know what your saying, thats why i said managing expectations. Dont be discourage…..You are truthful, and represent your correctly. I found that my mind can do amazing things, and pictures dont tell the whole story. I think also people can grow on you, as you get to know them. Just a few thoughts.
I haven’t done online dating but the cool thing about posting pictures online is really about showing facets of yourself that women wouldn’t know right away about you.
A picture is worth a thousand words. If you put up a bunch of pictures in international locales, she’ll know you are cultured and well traveled. You don’t even have to tell her!
So yea… use those pictures as billboard advertisements for your “best features”
I just came out of a 5 year relationship, mostly because are careers are going different directions. Still love this girl the world over. We met through match.com. The thing I have to say is if you truelly do want to meet someone and have an honest relationship you must be yourself and be honest! Putting up a bunch of false info and doctored pics is not what the ladies are looking for. Trust me, when they meet you they will read right through it. and, I just met a sweet girl through e-harmony…It can and does happen!
I’ve been on YP now about two months. I picked the worst picture of myself I could find and posted it along with a profile that reads in third person like a dog wrote it. My subject title is ” I’m a dog, but I like kittens…” Plus I have three pictures, two are of different types of dogs, none of which I own, …with in your face comments showing as captions to their respective pics.
One of the pictures shows a puppy and a kitten, together, on the grass, looking at each and getting along, with a caption of ” easy compatibility ” …
After I wrote that presentation, I sat back to see what would happen, it took about 4-5 days, as I recall.
That profile has now been up for approximately 11 days and I’m getting 3-5 hits per day along with 2-4 daily emails from women who want to know about me. They’re curious, to say the least.
It just shows to go ya, how much fun being yourself can actually be when without much effort, you release yourself to women shopping for someone they automatically get curious about and it’s so much fun…!
Then I opened myself to have YP allow my profile to be shown on other online dating sites they select and off I went…
And I haven’t looked back since, just having take in more healthy foods to keep my stamina in check.
It is said, “You cannot do a kindness too soon, because you never know how soon it will be too late.”
I’m not a big fan of internet dating. I guess I’ve met too many weirdos! Don’t be discouraged from trying it coz I know a fair few people who have met their partner that way.
I just found it a little time consuming. First you chat on msn and e-mail, then you may speak on the phone and I found once I finally met them, I was disappointed. I think you conjure up an image in your head of what this person will be like (even though you try not to) and you are ultimately disappointed. That’s just from my experiences. I think meeting someone in person is better for me that way you know whether you are physically attracted to the person or not which is extremely important.
I found the guys on the sites I was on, put up a lot younger and thinner photos of themselves. I hear this happens often with the women’s profiles too.
At least I got a funny story out of one of the dates I went on. This guy was a little odd. He seemed really nice but just talked about himself the whole time and didn’t ask me many questions at all. Towards the end of the date, he said “Let’s play a game.” Then he said “You ask me three questions and then I ask you three questions”.
His questions were:
1) Do you were thongs or granny undies?” (ok weird and a little bit too personal for a first date).
2) How many boyfriends have you had?
The best one……
3) Were you a fat girl in high school? WTF????????
I replied no but why do you ask? He replies “You have a really friendly, bubbly personality like a fat girl would”.
My jaw was on the floor by this point!!!! Are you kidding me dude??? No wonder you are single. And at that moment I ended the date and ran for my life!!! Everyone I tell this too thinks it’s hilarious. It’s totally true too!!!
Ahh David, if only you did coaching in Australia! The men here really need some help.
LOL Nicky,
As funny as it sounds, you may have met a guy who delved himself a little bit in the Pickup Artist (PUA) Community but doesn’t know how to apply their teachings properly.
The guy talked a lot about himself because he’s trying to demonstrate higher value (DHV). He’s trying to show to you how interesting and cool he is in hopes that you will like him and want to hang out with him. They believe that by showing how great they are, you will want to chase them.
The 3 game questions has also been used by PUAs as a gimmick to create excitement and fun in the interaction. The game is actually fun if done casually but PUAs usually make normal things come across as weird. The last question about you being a fat girl in HS is taken straight out of some of the online forums these PUAs chat on.
I don’t really have a very good opinion about the typical “dating sites”. In my experience, there are a lot of weird people on it, that are either ugly, frustrated or have some other kind of disorder. At least in my country, the only ones using dating sites are desperate losers. Which of course does not mean that there aren’t any cool people on these sites, I only say that they are rare.
I’ve seen it to be much more productive to use social networking sites like facebook or myspace. These sites usually let you be much more creative in designing your profile, and you don’t come across as needy and desperate if you put up your profile there. It allows you to create attraction “under the radar” and get to know normal, cool people.
What do you guys think is better in your experience – social networking or dating sites?
LOL! Nicky! I think I met that guy too! Talked about himself so incessantly I couldn’t even find a way to give him an uhuh…to show I was still paying attention. Oh and that cheap ass tequila gave me a migraine. I actually enjoy the online dating thing…I still look at it as window shopping for men. I have to agree that you’ll get a better idea of who I am and what I do from the pics on the MySpace than the ones on match…
I usually don