Perfection Do You Desire It?
August 24, 2008 
14 Comments
I’m driving through Brentwood this morning – on one of those days I don’t particularly like. What I don’t particularly like is the heat. I would prefer to live in San Francisco year-round – a few days in the 80s thrown in to lots of days in the 60s and 50s – a mixture of all different types of weather.
But speaking of mixtures, life is a mixture. It’s really funny, because we all have this ideal. If you think about it, men have been masturbating to Maxim magazine models, Playboy centerfolds, Penthouse centerfolds since they were little boys and realized that something neat and fun actually comes out of their own dick and makes them feel good!
So if you think about it, men have been fantasizing about these women for most of their lives. Now what have women been doing? They don’t have a dick, but they do masturbate, as we all know. Women have been fantasizing about that 6’2” guy – the one from the Bride magazines, Sean Connery playing leading man roles, George Clooney, Brad Pitt.
That’s who they fantasize about – they fantasize about that tall, dark, and handsome man – how many times have you heard that? Tall, dark, and handsome.
Sex and the City even had an episode of tall, dark, and handsome. Mr. Big was what? Tall, dark, and handsome.
If you go on the internet, everybody has their ideal person there. Every woman wants a guy over 6’ tall, and every guy wants a woman who is fit and athletic.
The problem is that the world is not 6” tall and in great shape. And most women are not skinny and petite!
So you need to embrace your body – you need to look at your body, and you need to look at who you are, and you need to become the most powerful you within your own body. The fact is that if you’re a guy that’s 5’6”, and if you project your attitude, you project your voice, and you project confidence, a woman is going to see you as 6’ tall.
Maybe you’re not the ideal guy. But you are the ideal man. Think about it: she’s got some fantasy guy in her head, and you walk over to her, and what happens is that most women spend their entire lives wanting to get swept off of their feet. Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome hasn’t swept them off of their feet yet, but if Mr. 5’6” with a killer personality and great confidence walks over and claims her – claims her like the woman she is, makes her feel sexy, makes her feel wanted and desired – all of a sudden she can be yours.
If you look at all of the women in the world, not every woman is dating tall, dark, and handsome men. Most of them are dating just average guys who had the confidence and the balls to approach her, and the confidence and balls to really go over there and talk.
When it comes down to men, all of us are not going to be dating Maxim magazine models. It’s just not going to happen. It sounds great in theory. If there was a factory somewhere abroad that FedEx shipped them over by the dozens – absolutely gorgeous women all of the time – that’d be great.
But the fact is that you have to embrace who you are every single day, and become the most powerful version of yourself. If you’re not the most powerful version of yourself, you won’t be able to sweep anybody off of their feet.
Forget about the fantasy. All of the women on the internet – all of you that are so narrow minded and you bitch and complain that men are narrow minded – women are so narrow minded on the internet it’s incredible. All they talk about is wanting this perfect guy.
Just the other day I was reading this internet profile from a woman who was 39 years old. 39! She wants three kids, and the guy has to be aged 36 to 39. Hello? Can we say, fantasy?
Now let’s talk about reality. Reality in this situation is the she’s probably not going to get that. She’s probably going to get something else, and you have to realize that what you’re about, and what you project is what you will attract.
So if you are narrow minded in your search, and you’re not open to things, you will never be able to meet somebody who will blow you away.
Lets talk about how to get out of your head. Do you worry about every little thing and what others think of you?
Todays video will break you out of your fears forever.
So the question arises => how do I embrace myself every single day so that I become the most powerful me?
“Think about it: she’s got some fantasy guy in her head, and you walk over to her, and what happens is that most women spend their entire lives wanting to get swept off of their feet. Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome hasn’t swept them off of their feet yet, but if Mr. 5’6” with a killer personality and great confidence walks over and claims her – claims her like the woman she is, makes her feel sexy, makes her feel wanted and desired – all of a sudden she can be yours.”
Word.
haha, this blog reminded me of all the guys i’ve dated up until today; tall guys.. one of them had blonde hair and blue eyes, but still very tall! that’s probably because i’m tall myself..i have never thought of their height as an issue at all, though.. i liked their personalities
i like to see it this way, people have preferences, not necessarily “ideals”… i don’t do online dating so i haven’t seen what men want in a woman here in norway..they ask for such things on profiles.. so they have to say something.. no? don’t know! perhaps there is more idealizing out there than i like to admit, because i don’t idealize myself
anyway, i’ve never had any idealistic man whom i hope will sweep me off my feet one day!! i have preferences.. i want a guy who is able to deal with me and vice versa.. if he’s not a good listener, he might be good at responding in other ways to my needs.. who knows? but preferences are good
“She’s probably going to get something else, and you have to realize that what you’re about, and what you project is what you will attract.”
what if she’s all about “a big happy family”? she projects that about herself, no? would she not attract someone like that then? or am i misunderstanding here?
JustMe,
Busted!
You can’t date the men you like anymore. From now on, we choose for you… you have to go out w confident, short and fat guys.
David-
How do you reconcile this thought of giving up the ideal with not settling for less? I don’t want a second-rate, rebound love.
Haha, okey! Write me a profile then
Can’t wait to be swept off my feet
Hi Everyone,
welcome back, this is my favorite bloc ever! I’m 5’5″ tall i guess so
well, still i prefered 6′ tall. Y? because i’m not that tall and let’s forget about the height. I noticed most of the guys 6′ tall not really attract enough. they think they taller than other but still do not have balls enough. Let me put in this way they are just like a STONE!!
” But the fact is that you have to embrace who you are every single day, and become the most powerful version of yourself. If you’re not the most powerful version of yourself, you won’t be able to sweep anybody off of their feet.”
I agreed with wygant said above. become a better version that my favorite word!
vs
I love the idea of the sand castle competition. It always helps me to do something completely goofy to start not caring as much. Makes all the difference in the world. All the guys out there should take this video seriously.
Pretty good and valid article. But my question is this – what if you have been persuing for so long (women from 7 to 10) and you still have no dates, emails, relationships? What do you do then?
Kevin,
You answered your own question…. you said “what if you have been PURSUING [...]?” That’s your problem right there. Stop pursuing, start attracting!
And to attract someone, you have to learn to project and convey yourself authentically, genuinely, powerfully and confidently. Once you do that, you’ll start getting the success that you desire.
David,
You reconcile the thought of giving up the ideal with not settling for less by making sure you give your darn best at every opportunity you get WHILE recognizing that it may not always work out the way you want it.
I apologize to you if I don’t seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don’t like the feeling. You’re sitting there, you’re wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I’m not really interested, should I play like I’m interested but I’m not that interested but I think he might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she’s not interested? So all of the sudden I’m getting, I’m starting to get interested… And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it’s awkward, it’s like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you’re trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don’t kiss them at all? It’s very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you’re just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called “just the tip”. Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you’re on my hair.”
hahahahahahahahaha
OK, wait a minute. You talk to anyone who’s had any success in life whatsoever and almost universally, they will tell you they made goals and had standards. That’s how millionaires are made, that’s how college degrees and honors are won, that’s how military folks get promoted to general and admiral.
Yet when it comes to dating we’re supposed to just sort of drift along and leave ourselves completely open to whatever comes along. No standards, no nothing, just drift.
…What???
Sorry, I tried the drifting thing. It doesn’t work.
Now this is not to say you are completely wrong. You can’t know by looking at someone that they don’t meet your standards, unless your standards include “cares enough about themselves to keep themselves neat and clean.” And if your only standard is that they have to look perfect, they could be a serial killer behind the so-called perfection.
But. Don’t tell people not to have standards. That’s just stupid.
By the way? Nice misogyny there. Because I’ve seen enough personal ads to know that it’s not usually the women demanding “height/weight proportionate” and “cute.” Whatever you think we fantasize about, in reality we accept a much wider range than men do. MUCH wider.
David, I caught your excitement in the sand castle video. You are so right! Life is about having fun! Of course we all have work to do, but what are you working for if you never stop to enjoy life? Sometimes it’s the small things that can help make us happy. By the way, I don’t care so much about looks as long as a man is generally clean and healthy and just normal looking. I do care about how nice a man really is, not just to me, but a man who really cares about everything in life and has confidence in who he is. I personally think people have to like themselves first before they can be who they really are to other people.
I think that is why you are so successful is that you exude confidence.
David, i’ve been reading through your pages of advice. Some of it is quite astute. This page needs a little work. I’m exactly the woman you speak of whom you claim is unrealistic in her expectations for herself. I’m 39 and have dated several men younger than me. Why? Because I enjoy life. I know who I am and have learned from life. I take excellent care of myself and it shows. Men don’t like insecure women and that includes the younger ones. Personally I don’t have an age requirement when it comes to dating but I find when I apply to a dating site that there is a large disparity between the ages of men who message me. 60-70% are men who are at least 5-10 years old than me. 20-30% are anywhere from 5-10 years younger than me. The smallest percentage are from men my age. Why? Because men my age think they can find someone younger than they are. Sometimes they do. You certainly wouldn’t begrudge them for finding their mate even though they’re younger, right? Please don’t begrudge the women who can love with a man at any age. We’re out there. Might as well get used to it.