Peacocking Is For Birds
October 20, 2007 
57 Comments
Peacocking Is For Birds By David Wygant
Tonight while I was out at a local LA bar, three guys walked in who clearly were in peacocking mode.
Peacocking, for those of you who are unfamiliar with it, is when a male wears outrageous fun clothes that either do or don’t suit his personality. Most men who peacock are men who don’t seem to fit the clothes in which they’re peacocking, and you can spot them the second they walk into a bar.
The concept of peacocking is all about changing your wardrobe to build up your confidence and attract the opposite sex. If you are a guy who clearly is uncomfortable in your new peacock outfit, however, that will show to everybody in the bar.
When I work with someone and craft a new image for them, I craft an image that suits their unique personality. I don’t put someone in a rocker’s outfit with black eyeliner and painted fingernails if this is not who they really are. There are ways to correctly peacock, and ways to incorrectly peacock.
Plus, who really wants a peacock? Even though size does not matter, no one wants to admit that their cock is the size of a pea.
So let’s go back to this group of guys I saw walk into a Santa Monica bar peacocking. They walked in with some of the craziest outfits I’ve ever seen . . . even for Los Angeles.
One guy had on so many man-jewels, that I was amazed that he could even lift his wrist to drive a car. The second guy wore a shirt that was straight out of the ‘puffy shirt’ episode from “Seinfeld.” The third guy had so many streaks in his hair, that I swore as the night progressed that they started to glow.
Once again, I am NOT condemning people for creating a unique fashion style. I am condemning guys who wear stuff like this to get attention, but who have neither the confidence nor the personality to pull it off.
As these three peacocks walked into the bar, all heads turned and people started whispering about them. When the three peacocks noticed this, they ran to the corner and hid in a little dark nest like scared birds will do.
After an hour, one of the little scared peacocks ventured out and tried to flirt with women. I watched him get rejected over and over again.
They all looked like really nice guys, so I walked over and said “Why are you all dressed like you just got off a bad cruise ship during Halloween? Not one of these outfits suits your personality. Do you really think cloning someone else’s style is going to be the way you’re going to succeed with women? “
We proceeded to talk for an hour and a half, and I basically coached every single one of them on how to develop their inner confidence. I also came up with a couple of fashion tips that really suited their individual personalities.
It’s great that you want to change your look and become more confident. Fashion is one of the greatest forms of individual expression.
What you really need before copying some other person’s peacock outfit, though, is to figure out who you are as an individual. When in doubt, go to a mall and try on lots of different clothes that are hip and fun, and find an image that fits your personality.
It’s not what you wear when you walk into a bar, it’s how you carry yourself. It’s all about your body language . . . and not about the peacock clothes on your back.
If you want to know what is in for fall in Men’s Fashion. Check out this video we shot yesterday at a super hip LA clothing store.
Forget the peacocking…..this is what is in for men.
David…. Its no suprise that you reached out to the three peacocks. You are connected with those around you, paid or not. Its always good to love up, help, and guide those around us. Funny thing too, the giver always get more in the end. ATTA boy David!
Well, David…you are a comedian as well as coach. LOL
All this blog needed was to start with “Once Upon A Time” LOL Very funny;)
Ummm, personally I think Adrien would look best dressed in….NOTHING! What a hottie..very sexy and confident.
Hey guys, yes we as women do look at your shoes, but the polish is the second thing we are “sizing up” when your shoes are the focus.. LOL
Hey you know me…I am honest. Shoe size..matters! LOL
I am kidding. We all know my 2 1/2 ” sense on that subject.
Act your age not your shoe size however is some good advice.
The man who assisted in the store, very confident and sexy…knows his style. Like his personal style look with the open shirt, accesories enough to be sexy and not look like a Mr T wannabe…jolly good.
Well thanks for the laughs daddio. Good humor today….oh yea, you have that everday…sorry.
Hi all! I’m new here, but I hope it’s ok if I contribute three things to today’s blog:
1) Totally agree with the peacocking thing. And us girls are guilty as well. My girlfriends always try to get me to wear little halter tops, short skirts and what not when we go out–and that’s not me. When I do, I spend all night fidgeting with my clothes and hiding behind people. I’ve learned that there is nothing wrong with my Chucks, a nice pair of fitted jeans and a deep v-neck sweater. I feel comfortable, I’m not worrying about how I look, and I’m more apt to approach a guy and talk to him. Comfort leads to confidence which possibly leads to making out with that cute guy across the room.
2) Guys–us girls (well, me at least) love when a guy wears nice, natural fabrics. So here’s a tip–avoid the 70′s polyester and nasty, harsh fabrics you so often wear! Instead, opt for a nice soft cotton, suede, supple leathers cashmere, cords, etc. It doesn’t have to be expensive, it just has to *Feel* nice. Because when we walk up to talk to you, and notice that soft shirt or jacket you are wearing, all we can think about is how nice it feels against our skin. And how nice you might feel against our skin ;O)
3) David, is Adrien on your team, or someone you were coaching? He seemed very comfortable in front of your camera (um, and he’s a cutie). Anyway, at some point in the video he smiles with his entire face–SUCH A TURN ON! Gentlemen, I encourage you to smile more. Nothing is hotter than a guy with a smile that can light up a room.
Hi Lizzy, I’m realatively new myself. Second post. Agree with you about “love when a guy wears nice, natural fabrics.” That’s me, so what are you doing tonight? lol I find peacocking boring and a turn off. If a person isn’t comfortable with themselves and how they dress, no one is going to be. I’ve gotten dates wearing old jeans and a similar old weekend shirt. Scruffy work shoes, to boot. If I need to dress up to attract someone, if I’m not able to appeal to them based on how I present who I am inside, outside aint gonna cut it. Not with me.
Lizzy;
First and foremost, welcomes are in order, so I wecome you:)
I just have to ditto you on the polyester..My Gahhhd, please none of that 70s stuff. Now Polyester Moss Peach Skin has a soft sexy almost sexy feel to it and is very enticing on a man. Yes, on the suede, and the cashmere…mmm..that is MAJOR TURN ON! Yes, we do think about how you will feel against us, and how sexy getting that nice shirt off of you will be;) TRUTH ALARM!!
Uh hugh. Isn’t Adrien a hottie?! Jacket in the video is really nice BTW.;)
Yes, his smile ….SEXY!
You are right there too. A smile is the first accessory that must be implemented to any look. A smile is a universal fashion statement..and it costs $0.00….feebie!
Ok beautiful CA like day here in Texas…gotta go take advantage of that…it is such a rarity here;)
Btw, David, I’m not getting the video from any of the posts. Is there something I need to download?
Graham– They’re embedded youtube videos. You might need a browser or Flash plug-in update. You can also search for David on youtube.com and see them there.
Graham, you are such a flirt! I’m in NY, how about you?
Joan, thanks for the welcome. I’ve been lurking for the past few months and really love reading your comments. Well, everyone’s comments really. You all often have me in stitches.
Hey all,
ladies, what about this:
jeans, T- shirt and a blazer??
Also your opinion => shirt is better in the jeans or out of jeans?
Stubby
If you’re going to do the jeans with suit coat or blazer, wear a cool button up shirt- not just a t-shirt. You can tuck it or untuck it, but if you tuck it then don’t forget a cool belt… and if you decide to go untucked then make sure the shirt fits well and isn’t so long as to hang down more than a couple inches below your waist.
Although you’ve talked about this before, it certainly bears repeating, and dovetails, so to speak, with the overall theme of your approach; namely, fake doesn’t work—at least not with people who are capable of really connecting with others.
Such people respond positively to the genuine approach and immediately dismiss the inauthentic. I’m so glad that somebody with established credibility in the “dating community,” for lack of a better term, is preaching this gospel. It’s a welcome counterpoint to the usual pick up artist dogma.
Great blog today!
Stubby;
Jeans, t-shirt??? button up better, and a blazer…very sexy if that is a suited fit for your personality.
To tuck or not to tuck? That was the question? I say If you are on the leaner side with some height, a tucked shirt with the belt on jeans is very much a turn on.
lol It is funny (to me anyways) how in my mind when I see a man in this attire attracts my eyes and fantasizing on the sensual steps it would take to get the clothes all removed from the jacket to the belt and …well imagination hardly needed….or I am WAY too visual. (Which i do think is the case;) ) I think this is against the law and referred to “Raping someone with your eyes.” Ummmmm
Lizzy, I looove NY. The city? Alas, NW country boy an hour north of Portland. Women love my country place though, just in case you’re out this way sometime:)
Joan, no law against lurking, yet. Creepy, but not illegal–unless you work with them! Then it can qualify as harassment.
Joan,
You have a very vivid imagination, darling!
How can you think so many steps ahead in so little time?
All that I can see is – the guy is cute!
Lizzi,
You got a very good point when saying,
You ladies aren’t going to turn into bunny boilers on me, are you?
Adrian
I have to agree on the natural fiber thing, and ditto to Adrain being fine as well. While I think that a button down shirt is nice, I still like the tshirt and blazer look. I like to see it out, but if you’re really into tucking with a nice belt feel free. I’m pretty happy with a man in 501s and a t. As for shoes, just don’t wear those pointy toed loafers….unless you don’t mind being teased unmercifully about your cheater shoes.
Thank you all for ideas
I’m 6’2, very sporty, and like smiling
So I’d say tucked shirt.
Is anyone here curently living in Spain or just only american community??
Stubby
Stubby,
Are you from Spain?
Stubby–
I live in the US, if I ever hang over there in Spain, I’ll call you. I speak the language fluidly.
This was a good blog. Interesting point about if one is tall, to tuck in.
The point about Spain is this:
does the culture afects the game? I mean, there must be some difference in approaching women in USA then Japan, China, Russia, France, Czech republic. Don’t you think so?
Would all these tecnics David talks about work in a different culture? In my case Spain. Yes, I live here now
Stubby
So many people are just not comfortable in their own skin. People, I think, have big trouble learning on how to define who they really are because society keeps throwing out these ideas on who you should be. If you learn how to be comfortable with who you are, style can easily follow.
Hey, J-Dude,
How many languages do you speak? This is getting interesting….
Stubby,
There are many differences in approaching women (or men, if you are a women!) depending on the country you live, however at some level it is all the same – heart-to-heart connection!
Jessica -
heart – to – heart connection! Love it
I’m dude, trying to understand women at some level…
I guess in the US it’s just easier than in other countries..Or women are more confident in US than in the rest of the world..
Stubby,
I was born and raised in Eastern Europe. Nothing is easy, but David Wygant can help… He is an expert!
hmm Jessica, seems like we have things in common…but anyways its def a great blog and of course David’s an expert. Buenas noches amigos
ANZY;(Adrien)
Hows your blood pressure standing BTW….temperatures would be raising your thermometer for sure. LOL Soory..i am in the midst of getting attention for my “pun problem.” I need a Dr. Feel good exam. lol
You can put your mind to rest where I myself am concerned.
Your bunny is the last thing on my mind to boil with you.
Jessica:
LOL Girl you don’t know me by now??
I was never let out of my cage to see any other man than my “keeper.”
When I broke free, WOW!!!!!!! What a variety of delectable delights roaming the planet.
It all starts with the tought he is so sexy, or he is so cute, but to stop there is a rip off to my mental stimulation and growth of my sensual senses..LOL Hell, lets tell the truth, I am lusting over the man just as is normal for any normal human being with sexual tendencies does, if they be honest.
Don’t you ever look at a man and think, “I wonder how he would kiss?”, what his response to your breath on his neck would be while you let your hands gently slide up the back of his shirt while pressing into him with your wantoness….how heavy you could make him breath with desire for you….yes I do have a very active mind to say the least. It is overwhelming at times and yes, I must arrest the development of further thoughts before they become action I might regret…LOL
LOL! Joan,
Don’t know about Jessica, but I spend an awful lot of time pondering the “doability” factor of men roaming in my vicinity.
Bertie:
I know thats right girl!! Hey How boring would life be if that aspect were cut out of it???
Shoot me now if that ever be the case!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh hell, I’d just shoot myself. I have every intention of being that senile little old lady who pinches the behinds of every male nurse assistant at the old folks home.
Bertie and Joan-
I love it! You two are just as bad as we men!
Oh Bob! Silly man, I won’t speak for Joan, but I am far worse than you men…….lol.
Hey Joan…
Judging by your comments… it’s a good thing that my shoe size is a 5… lol.
But I digress
I agree with Graham… I’ve rocked some rough looking stuff with a wicked Don Johnson morning shadow (or whatever the f it’s called) and STILL gotten dates…
It’s not necessarily the clothes… but how you rock ‘em that counts
Graham;
Whew..ok I am safe then. If I were undressing my co-workers in any way shape or form…..well…arrest me because….wait…..no LOL I would not be happier in jail!
I will never be a womans sex slave…BARFFFFFFFFFFF!
The soap stays on the floor…..or am I in the wrong shower….in that case…let me just get that for you real quick! LOL LMBO
BobM
I am so glad there is a man who notices good women here.
Men like you are rare in cummodity:)))
Bertie;
LOL Yep…I will be known as “that horny little old lady..who teaches sit and be fit!” lol
Angel Eyes;
Baby, you are last but surely not least here in my addressing comments.
Ummm well, I say you for clothes you would probably do best in..ohhh..well…how about…..YOUR BIRTHDAY SUIT?! LOL
For some reason I think you would be able to pull it off just fine..or wait…
whats to pull off…
Put some clothes on and quit acting 5 already..LOL Hey ironically enough the “Don Johnson morning shadow” as you referred to it…LOL…
It is called a 5:00 shadow!…lol 5 on the 5.. sweeeeeeeeet!
Your so cute:)
Hey, BobM,
See, the problem with out society is when a man says that he had sex with 500+ women in his live (remember an interview with Brad Blanton who wrote the book Radical Honesty), he is an honorable men! He deserves a medal!
And the women
Hey Jessica,
I’m fluent in speaking and writing in English and Spanish. So only 2 I guess…
“Saludos”
Graham, I’m about 15 miles from NYC. Near the beach. But I did spend most of my childhood living on a farm in VA. Way back woods country–and I loved every minute of it. I hear OR is *gorgeous*. The perfect place for an outdoor nut like me. I may just have to take you up on that offer if I’m ever out that way
Stubby, a tee and blazer is great in my book. But feel free to mix it up a bit and put on a nice button up. A little classier depending on where you are hanging out. And as Dave pointed out, make sure the shirt isn’t too long if you are doing the untucked thing.
New Tip for you guys–if you have to duct tape your shoes together, THROW THEM OUT AND BUY NEW ONES!!. No, really. This cat at the bar last night had duct taped his shoes together. Sheesh.
Adrian–so, client or team member? Because if you are a client, you are further proof that this coaching thing really does work. You seem super confident and ready to take on a challenge. And as you may have noticed, us ladies love a challenge.
And Ms. Desperate Housewife, if you are out there, let’s just say that one of your recent blogs came in handy last night. I’m a newby to this kind of thing and I have to say, having the power to make your man scream your name is so effin hot.
Lizzy,
I am in fact a former client of David
Jessica-
Au contraire, ma cherie! The women on this blog are my kind of angel! The world would be a better place if more women shared your attitude. Of course, the men could contribute their part by showing proper respect and obtaining a clue.
Joan-
A rare “cummodity?” Oh God, Joan. You just make me shake my head and laugh sometimes.
Bertie-
i wouldn’t bet on it. Let’s call it a draw!
Lizzy-
First of all, welcome to the blog. I’m glad Desperate Housewife’s words came in “handy” for you. I recall being mesmerized by a couple of her blogs. And seriously, you saw duct tape? I mean, I’m a big fan of duct tape because it comes in handy for so many things, but shoe repair? Yikes.
Stubby-
I’ve found that people in most cultures respond to genuine openness and a warm smile. It just disarms them. Oh, and welcome to the blog!
J-Dude,
Saludos to you to!!!
BobM,
thank you!
I am always for a smile and openness
I call it a “hola” slut, just talk to everyone everywhere. Sometimes you meet very very interesting people only by chance only by saying something to them as David uses the observation process 
LOVE IT!
Lizzy, if you want NW backwoods you need to google *travelightly*
First of all, Adrian is sexy as hell (although I thought that jacket in the end was AWFUL!)
Secondly, I cannot express how much I like a pair of jeans that actually fit a man properly. Not tight, not baggy. I want to be able to see the curve of his ass and a slight thigh outline when he walks. Yum.
Its nice to see a guy who is well put-togther in his casual gear. If you’re gonna wear a t-shirt, make sure its ironed and clean. Try one with something interesting (not vulgar!) in a color that looks good against your skin. And David is right..dress for your personality!
Jaime,
Really, who on earth irons a tshirt? If you forget to get it out of the dryer quick enough they’ve developed a nifty wrinkle release spray. An iron should only be pulled out for dress shirts and pants. Sorry, but I’ve got way better things to spend my time doing than ironing a tee and I hope my dates do too.
But you do have the time to nitpick at a post that doesn’t apply to you whatsoever. Hmm
I will gladly admit that I have ironed a t-shirt before. I don’t like looking sloppy and sometimes shit happens. You pack a shirt and it gets wrinkled during travel. You fold it up fresh out of the dryer, but pull it out to wear days later and it looks a hot mess. It takes 30 seconds for the iron to heat up and then 30 seconds to knock the wrinkles out. I am not going to hold it against someone if they care enough about their appearance in public to spend a full minute to iron their shirt.
I am so tired of seeing guys walk around looking like they pulled something out of the bottom of the sewer when they got dressed in the morning. Besides, how many guys are buying wrinkle release spray? Anyway, that’s my opinion and I’m standing behind it. *shrug*
Not nitpicking…just don’t see many men doing that. I have however seen men pick the wrinkle releaser off the store shelf. Big time saver.
Ohhhh Kkkkk;))
I say forget the t-shirt .
Adrian;
YOU were a client?? Ok Well David damn, look at the miracles you are performing with your bad self;)!
Never can igagine you having a problem one with any woman. You are adorable and very humble from what I see. Confident but not cocky.
Most inviting you are;)
You are so righ about the preconceived notions. Those not only apply to dating, but peoples reaction to others for how they look.
Case and point;
The trainer who has enlightened me so much is…unspeakably manly, built like no other I have ever seen and at one glance…people would say he is arrogant, full of himself..PRECONCEIVED NOTION
The intro video on his site shows him as exactly who he is. 100% genuine, open hearted and very much a person who cares for others well being in life as a whole, not just fitness.
I told him in an IM session we had my thouhts there. This was the comment he left on My Space page;
HITCH
Thank you very much.. yeah so many people assume me for something im not.. I am real and i care very much in helping others.. have a wonderful evening
NEVER judge a person by the outer shell. Approach with confidence and get inside of who people are. It is amazing the pearls you find in the midst of the shell. Precoceived notions can so rob you of a great friendship.
Bad title, good post.
You do well to point out -Congruency- in peacocking is the key.
But I think you have to have the courage to Explore First, Screw Up a Few Times & then Refine over time; just like any other learning process in your life. -And also have the courage to become who you want to be, not settle for what you’ve done.
-Just another way of ‘finding yourself’.
-Also, (as if any dimension/value of peacocking needs to be explained) ***If you have something that is any type of unique or conversation piece about your visual appearance, –It gives the other person an Excuse to come up and talk to you– Esp, b/c women rarely make the first move.
I can’t tell you how many girls come up and talk to me just b/c I’m wearing a shirt I thought was funny.
Adrian
Carbon good post that really drives home the point of being an individual!!!
Carbon,
“I can
Bertie-
That’s one of the things I enjoy about you. You aren’t afraid, and you don’t seem to pass up many opportunities to have fun.
Bob,
Well, I actually had to talk myself into buying that shirt. I personally thought it was hysterical, but then thought better not buy that way too much innuendo there. I almost past it up, but then I said to myself. HELLO WOMAN! You ARE NOT Married! Quit acting like you are! So I bought it. So yeah I was kind of afraid, but I said screw it.
Bertie – I’m a fan of those shirts too. Its fun to walk the line. Here are what some of my Ts say: “Mount It, Ride It, Feel It In The Morning” I was on the horseback riding team in college, “Feel The Burn of A Cold Pole” and yes, I get a lot of questions if I happen to go to the mall after work, “Naked, Naked, Naked” that was my EMT class motto b/c our instructor always said that when referring to traumas. And yes, Adrian is beautiful … if I ran into him at Starbucks I’d find a reason to talk to him in a New York minute.
I was teaching nursing last year and at graduation the students gave me this tee that has Ms. Roberta on the front and……Anatomically Correct From Top to Bottom on the back. Now they all swear I made some reference…..
When I did the prehospital trauma life support the chant was Expose! Expose! Expose!