Over the river and through Whole Foods to anyone’s house we go . . .
So on this Thanksgiving Day, I wanted to share with all of you my take on the day — as well as a little personal message from me.
Did you sing that song as a kid — you know, the “Over The River And Through The Woods To Grandmother’s House We Go …” song? I never really understood the “over the river and through the woods” analogy for Thanksgiving because my Grandmother made the driest turkey this side of the Sahara Desert.
We’re about to head into the holiday season. Six weeks of tedious annoying Zales Jewelers commercials, not to mention that lovely $69.00 diamond pendant with diamonds the size of bedbugs.
What Thanksgiving really kicks off is the start of the most vulnerable six weeks of the year for singles. Let’s call it “the quest to meet someone before 5-4-3-2-1 woo hoo Happy New Year!”
I’ve had some great Thanksgiving Days though. I remember a few years ago when I had nothing going on for Thanksgiving. So I walked into Whole Foods the day before Thanksgiving and I picked up my Thanksgiving dinner: a box of Peanut Butter Bumpers and soy milk.
As I was looking for some pumpkin pie to finish off my sugar rush, I bumped into this really sexy woman who had a cart full of some really great looking food. So I started a conversation with her:
DW: “Your dinner looks a lot better than mine.”
Her: “Please tell me that’s not your Thanksgiving dinner.”
DW: “I’d love to tell you it’s not not my Thanksgiving dinner, but that would be a lie. I was going to get Cruchberries, but they were out of them. Crunchberries remind me of my Grandmother’s cranberry sauce and dried out turkey.”
We proceeded to talk, and she said that she refused to let me eat Peanut Butter Bumpers for Thanksgiving . . . and I got invited to a Thanksgiving night party with her and seven of her friends.
I have a confession to make to all of you — I’ve done that every year I’ve been single.
I actually enjoy spending Thanksgiving with total strangers. I mean, didn’t the pilgrims do that before they killed all the Indians? Then again, my knowledge of history is a little poor at times . . .
So if you want to know where I’ll be today, I will be spending the day with my girlfriend and having dinner with friends.
On a more serious note, I do want to wish all of you and your families a very Happy Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is a day to be thankful, and I am thankful for many things this year. A thanks to all of you for letting me come into your hearts, minds … and your computer screens this year.
Enjoy Turkey Day!
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9:12 am
Happy Thanksgiving to you too David, your family and your team. Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us. Enjoy!!!
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9:59 am
“Your dinner looks better than mine”! OMG! That’s the best thanxgiving pick-up line ever! Wish I read this earlier when I went to the store!
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11:08 am
Hey David,
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family. I just wanted to tell you that I’ve been practicing the art of being natural around women instead of having pick up lines or any artificial material and the response is really ridiculous. I just got a job as a bartender in my small town and I have every girl begging to go home with me every night. It’s actually starting to get a bit annoying….LOL I guess we will call that a quality problem. Every guy that is at the bar and watches these women through themselves at me are in awe….. I’m promoting your work to the guys that are serious about getting the approach down. Again… Thanks.
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4:58 pm
I’m not exactly American, but the school I went to raised me as one, so here I go:
I try to be grateful for everything I have everyday. It’s not like we enjoy it all just for one single day out of the whole fucking year, am I right, people?
I give thanks for finding this blog. Seriously. I could have ended up using “3inchdethdragnftw” as a name, reciting one line after another to luscious ladies at the old bar.
After a long time buried under low self-esteem, David’s words and podcasts have shaken the shit off my mirror, and made me realize that I’m actually a cool man, the kind of guy a woman wants for uninterrupted bouts of oral pleasure. The kind of man that knows how to get into her mind, her heart, and her desire.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone that shares this blog!
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3:55 am
Happy thanksgiving!!
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8:28 am
Happy Thanksgiving from the Philippines!
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