Facebook is really the brand-new way to say, “fuck you” to an ex.

Think about this:

You meet somebody; you fall for them; you’re all happy; you introduce them to your friends and family; you bring them by the nursing home to see your grandmother.

Those were the good old days, when you would brag about your person to your immediate family and anybody who wanted to listen.

But now…

You basically tell the whole world that you’re dating somebody on Facebook.

That’s right—all your pretend friends who are on Facebook now know that you’re in a relationship.

Yes, including the cheerleader you haven’t spoke to in 20 years from high school.

Positively, your friend from the first grade that you spit Milky Way bars all over.

Yep, he knows too.

All 275 of your fake friends now know that you’re in a relationship.

You’re happy.

Your posts are now cute and charming.  You’re no longer telling people that the toilet paper was rough at the Motel 6 that you stayed in the night before.

You’re no longer telling people what you ate for lunch.

You’re now telling people on Facebook how in love you are. Oh, isn’t Facebook love grand.  Isn’t it great to broadcast all over Facebook that you’re in love?

But what about when the relationship ends?

When do you tell Facebook land that you’re single again?  Or, my favorite Facebook-land term: it’s complicated.

You’re basically telling the whole world that you were in a relationship, now you’re no longer in the relationship, or you’re in the relationship and the person is probably Facebook-cheating on you, so now the relationship is complicated.

What about when your ex de-friends you on the Facebook?

It just happened to me recently.  I got de-friended by my ex on Facebook.

It’s funny.  I’ve been de-friended by lots of exes on Facebook.  I don’t know why.  I still want to Facebook buddies with them.  I still want them to be part of my Facebook world.

But apparently, they do not want me to be part of their Facebook world.  So you go from in love, in a relationship, to it’s complicated, to being single again, to being de-friended.

And being de-friended by the ex is there way of saying, “fuck you, I’m done.”

I bet Mark Zuckerberg never imagined that this social network he was creating was nothing more than a megaphone and a digital middle finger.