I say this not in the “buy my exercise dvd infomercial” way — but if I can have this experience, then BELIEVE ME so can you! I have not had a lifetime of this, and have had to go through my own confidence and body-image issues to get here.

I think you have a great attitude, and you are very self-aware … but I would caution you about one thing that I recognize as being very familiar since I used to have the same thoughts. You say that you need to lose weight because the weight makes you vulnerable …

I used to have that same “I’ll be more confident when I lose a few pounds” kind of mindset too – but here’s the problem with that (and it’s two things). First, I am all for losing weight if it makes you feel good (both physically and mentally) and because it is good for people’s health to do so … but don’t wait to embrace yourself until you lose weight. That you need to do NOW – and you should

The funny thing with me was that I used to say the same thing – and was always in “ok” shape and very athletic — but the minute I decided I needed to love myself at EACH step along the way, I started to lose weight faster than I ever had (and now I can love myself even more ). Best of luck to you –

If this could work on the highway and the grocery store choosing lanes:-)

>>>>>>>>I started asking my cat what was alive in him at any given moment…

Tried that for fun to my cat and…a few hours earlier, he threw up!

>>>>>>I stopped encountering people who were “rude” or whatever.

you should move to New York, this one won’t work there!

>>>>>>>Do you know what feeling a threesome would bring you?

I think they would be…orgasmic:-)

And what’s up with all this “I practice celibacy” stuff dear????

Sounds like you enjoyed the yoga but not the chanting.

You say lots of practice. Lots of practice being aware, I guess? Always catching yourself when your mind slips into habitual patterns of seeking and chasing.

For me, it took a near-death experience to realize that everything I’d been chasing (career success, promotions, etc.) was worthless. First I realized that I felt totally disconnected, so I started chasing connection in the traditional forms (marriage, kids, etc.). And chased that until something else woke up in me and realized that those forms wouldn’t bring happiness either.

Meanwhile, all that time, something new had been dawning inside me. It was the realization that connection is available and all around us all the time.

* Self-connection came first, the tuning in to my own feelings and sorting out my jumbled up thoughts.
* Connection to inanimate objects, the realization that when I became present, parking spaces would open up at the exact time I needed them and the whole world seemed to be perfectly orchestrated.
* Connection to my pets (I started asking my cat what was alive in him at any given moment, and his personality changed completely from being alienated from me to being totally loving and adoring).
* Connection to every person in the world, and the realization that as I was becoming more peaceful, so was everyone around me. I stopped encountering people who were “rude” or whatever.

Every time someone did something I didn’t like, I looked for where I was doing that thing myself in my life. Instead of judging people, I got really curious. I opened my mind to the idea that maybe my snap judgments about people were not right. I started asking people what was going on for them, and often times they were so happy that someone asked. And people changed. Miraculous huge monumental changes.

Do you get curious? Do you know what feeling a threesome would bring you? Do you wonder what needs a man or woman might be meeting by participating in one? For me, that has become the richness of life, to get really curious about what it is we are really seeking beneath all our goals and actions….

Yes, I know what you mean. It takes lots of practice to be able to do this. I took a yoga class earlier this year….it was good, I liked it but the chanting at the end of the class got to me and decided I prefer to beat myself up at the gym running and doing some weights instead. I believe the older people get the easier being “present” gets. It all comes down to being at peace with and knowing yourself and just liking yourself.

Yes, great comments in this blog.

Guys, ladies like The Sultry Brunette do exist, don’t give up:-)

Infiniti,

Thanks for your awesome insight. I suspect that what happened with that girl you were seeing is behind my guy’s reluctance to accept what I said at face value So it’s too bad women like that woman you were dating is ruining it for the rest of us gals

Your congrats are appreciated Yes, I must admit that I wasn’t prepared for how powerful the multiple orgasms were and how they create feelings in your body literally from the the top of your head to the tips of your toes — I actually wasn’t exaggerating when I said that I literally lost consciousness on one of them … It left me trembling

And when I “came to” I saw my guy just looking at me with a smile on his face – and I wondered what the smile was all about … he said he felt incredible about knowing he was the guy who not only gave me my first orgasm but also my first triple (and quadruple) orgasm I wouldn’t have thought it would have been such a big deal to HIM But I’m glad it made him happy

Your “approach while you’re still on a high” suggestion is a good one … I stopped at a 7-11 on my way home from my guy’s house one night to get a bottle of water and the clerk asked me why I was smiling and staring off into space — I think NOTHING could have kept me from smiling at that moment. SO you may have something there Thanks again for the great feedback!