Not Your Boyfriend … But Enjoying The Fringe Benefits
July 12, 2009 
7 Comments
Are you dating a guy you like, but you’re not his girlfriend? You sleep together and he’s great when he’s with you, but he just doesn’t seem to want to commit to a relationship with you.
Is he a guy who just takes longer to get to that “commitment place,” or is he a guy who is never going to commit? There are ways to tell. Here are five ways to tell if your guy is never going to commit to you:
1.You Are “Weekday Girl”: Have you ever been with a guy for four months, and yet you have never spent time with him on a weekend day (or night)? Sure, you occasionally go out together to dinner or a movie. In reality, though, you are nothing more than a booty call. Here’s something you need to know about men. When a man loves a woman, he wants to show her off to the world.
2.You Haven’t Met His Friends: If you’ve been with a man longer than thirty days and he hasn’t shown off yet to his friends, he’s just sleeping with you. When a man is really into a woman, he wants the whole world to know. We all made fun of Tom Cruise when he jumped on Oprah’s couch proclaiming his love for Katie Holmes, but we all want that moment. We all want the moment when we say that we’ve met the most amazing woman.
3.You Are “Convenience Girl”: It may sometimes take thirty days and even up to sixty days for a guy to start introducing you to his friends and incorporating you fully into his life, but if it’s been four months than you have just been “convenience girl.” Being a “convenience girl” means that you have been someone he keeps around for when he has nothing better going on, yet he’s smart enough to lead you on with the dangling carrot of occasional promises of more to come.
4.He Is Always Too Busy: If a man is telling you he has to work all the time or that he doesn’t have time for a relationship, what he is really saying is that he doesn’t have time for a relationship with YOU. He has plenty of time to have you over late at night or for a business trip with his friends (which, of course, really is not business). If you’re waiting for this kind of man to commit, he never will.
5.You’re With “Lazy & Immature” Man: If a man is into you, he will never put his friends ahead of you . . . unless you’re dating “lazy and immature” man. You can spot this guy right from the get-go. It’s usually the guy who is 30 years old and has his entire place furnished with hand-me-down furniture. His place looks like he has the boys sleeping over every night. He is actually proud of having expired milk in his refrigerator, and hopes one day he can laugh when one of his friends accidentally takes a sip from it.
In reality, if you’re sleeping with any of these type of men, you are with a man who is not going to commit to you. Let me make this really clear: When a man is committed to you, he wants to share it with the world!
A man who is going to commit to you wants to show you off. If you feel like you’re being hidden in the back of the closet like that plaid shirt your mother gave you that you don’t want to wear, it is because that man doesn’t want to commit to you.
So true. My husband from the minute we dated was showing me off…no, not like a trophy but you knew he was proud of me and could not get enough of me and introducing me to his friends. It’s so obvious when a guy in in love with you and really are in to you. Countless times I heard him say I finally found my girl.
As much as men often get “bad mouthed” when it comes to relationship on the flip side when you really love, you guys get into it 100%, so unless all you are into is a guy who is not showing you that kind of attention..it’s not worth it..I would prefer being single and not missing an opportunity to have that all consuming love. Why settle for second best..we are worth the best.
marina,
you’re truly a lucky woman. i’ve done the “friends with benefits”, lets just f**k, the “just friends”
thing. it ain’t s**t. i, for one, want a friend, companion, and lover, all in one. maybe i’m asking
too much, but i’d rather do without than with only a hint of what the best could be.
lately, i’ve been seeing someone i truly like and respect. i’m not very patient, but am plesantly
surprised whenever i get a bit anxious about how things are gong. she has my thoughts & feelngs
in mind.
i don’t even have to show off this lady. everyone who meets her, thinks she’s great.
she ain’t perfect, by any means, but is sweet, and kind to everyone.
i don’t know that she’s the love of my life, but i hope i get the chance to find out.
i just wanna be equally kind and to this lady as she’s been to me.
Friends w/ benefits are no fun. There really are no benefits, unless you count a seven inch cock a benefit.
But if friends w/benefits is what you are looking for at the moment it’s not such a bad thing.
I am looking for a friends with benefits situation right now — wait, actually I just want the benefits. I’m wanting a mutual booty call suituation. I have tried it with several guys in the past nonth and it just not working out — and I cannot believe it. I am so frustrated.
I love those kind of guys…yeah right! I have dated some that has told me I have you on the hook when I want you I will reel you in. There are guys that I can read like a book and these are the type of guys that it will take longer to be with me. I am the type of woman I will give back to the man what he gives to me. So he is wasting our precious time when all he wants is to play games under the cover. Too much of this from him will be out the door and go and play with someone else’s emotions and feelings I will dump them like a hot potato and claim like he would all I want to do is be best friends.
I dated a guy from work and at fist it did not seem like friends with benefits, but as time passed, he only called when he wanted to have a good time in bed. This is frustrating, to be in this situation, where the chimistry is there, but the feelings are missing. I am not taking his calls anymore, if he likes what I got then he must show it other wise, his out.