It’s Saturday and as I was leaving this morning to go speak, I was thinking that I still need to give all of you my lead pipe, surefire football picks for this week. I do have my 3-0 record at stake here after all.
So for tomorrow, I like the Ravens and the Giants not only to win — but to crush their opponents. Tomorrow will also be the day that the Lions finally win a game. The Redskins have shown nothing so far, and the Lions are due.
On to today’s blog, and it’s a good one . . .
This blog today comes right from my heart. The wisest person in life is not the one who knows everything. Sure, that person is pretty damn wise, but only if that person has actually experienced everything he or she knows.
There are a lot of “Mr. Humble” people out there. You know who that person is, don’t you? He’s that guy who who is NEVER humble?
He is the one who always has something to say about everything. He thinks he knows about everything even though he’s never experienced half of the things about which he talks.
The wisest people are those who can shut the hell up when something new and unknown comes into their life. “Mr. Humble,” on the other hand, is always feeling like he needs to contribute something to the conversation even if he knows nothing about it.
I know when something comes up in a conversation with which I’m not familiar, that I sit back and listen. I don’t let my ego get in the way. If the conversation is going in a direction that I’m unfamiliar with and I can’t control, I just kick back and listen. As I listen, I’m learning.
Life is a series of repeated experiences. Two weeks after that conversation where I kicked back and listened, I might find myself in another conversation about that same topic about which I previously knew nothing.
Because I sat back and listened the first time, I’m now able to contribute. By contributing to this new conversation, I earn respect and I learn even more about the topic.
People often over-talk because they think that people will respect them more if they have a lot to say. People, however, actually respect you less if you over-talk. If you don’t know what you’re talking about, it’s okay to sit back and listen.
The quiet, silent types are the ones who are always listening and learning. We all know people who will always contribute to the conversation, regardless of if they know about the topic or not.
It’s their ego talking. Their ego wants them to be the wisest person in the conversation. In reality, though, the wisest people I know talk half of the time, and listen the rest.
This is when I am supposed to keep quiet…. rooting for you fantasy football selection
I think that a lot of people talk when they should be listening NOT because they are a “Mr. Humble,” but because they are actually insecure and nervous in a group situation and are trying to “participate” in the conversation so they look smart and interested to the others…
I think nervousness causes a lot of people to talk when they don’t need to be talking. Those “pregnant pauses” on a date can feel like they are going on for 2 hours instead of two minutes…
Those Mr. Humbles are so annoying…you really just want to tell them to shut up!
i agree with you david – guys like this don’t impress me.
i also agree with the earlier comment that this may have more to do with insecurity than with being overly confident.
whatever happened to that advice “fake it until you make it?” if you don’t know something you don’t want to seem stupid, right? so you at least want to pretend you can “keep up” with people in a conversation. so i don’t seem the harm in this — if you don’t say anything, won’t people think that you’re just plain unfriendly?
Great blog David! I never thought of it that way
I am always more worried about there being a lag in the conversation than thinking about every conversation being a potential learning opportunity. So thanks 
Awesome blog today…and that picture totally cracked me up!!!
Dave, this sounds good in theory but what if you’re out on a first date or something? — you want the girl to think you’re smart and confident (not dumb and quiet)
Marina,
David’s giving his predictions just on the “wins and losses” for the day– not for his fantasy team. So you can check the final scores tomorrow and see how many of his predictions are right
As a Detroit Lions fan, I am hoping at a minimum that his last prediction comes true
david, i agree with this post 100% BUT… it leaves me wondering …
If we are listening (instead of talking) because we truly want to learn something new, is it bad to ask questions? Does this defeat the “strong, silent type” image you are telling people to project?
What happens when you try to be both of those guys at the same time?
good question…if that’s even possible
So David if you are trying not to be Mr. Humble in a conversation, but you want to participate in the discussion (so you don’t look like an unfriendly unapproachable guy), is there some way or some point to do this?
Can you ever at some point try to switch the topic of conversation to something you know more about so you can participate more in the conversation?
dude this is such BAD advice!
and doesn’t it sort of clash with your “talk to everyone” advice you are always telling us?
i think you are contradicting yourself
totally funny pic though
Well, Sly, it could be worse – it could be one of those “I’m with Stupid” (pointing to himself) t-shirts
this is interesting
but your blog left me with a question.
if we can only tell others about things we know if we’ve experienced them, then even if we listen and learn in one conversation then we still shouldn’t talk about what we now “know” in a later conversation, right? (cause we still haven’t experienced whatever it is)
David, this blog shows why you ARE the man. Thanks for making us better men every day.
Kristen thanks…I am football clueless;-)
is this not also a matter of not being afraid to admit there are things you don’t know about instead of just staying quiet and listen, you paticipate and contribute at your level. Sometimes when you don’t have any knowledge about a subject then you also look at the subject with fresh eyes and that can bring new fresh angles to the discussion.
Personally I dislike people wether they know something about a subject or not that interrupts people and don’t give them a chance to finish or show with facial gestures that they disagree with someone.
David, you are exactly right! “Knowledge speaks, wisdom listens.”
I got that shirt, mine has homer simpson on it. I have learned to shutup and listen, or at least I try to now.
Nick, that’s funny
This pic today is hillarious and PERFECT for this blog
Matt,
Can’t a wise listener ever speak too?
David, the “Mr. Humble” you describe in this blog I actually was WITH last night at a party. Oh my God, I just wanted to throw him out the window.
No matter what anyone talked about, he immediately had to interject with some story starting with “You know, I have DONE that and…” or “I have had that happen to me SO many times and…”
I couldn’t help myself and my girlfriend had to give me an elbow-jab to get me to stop rolling my eyes at him. That guy would wear a shirt like the one in the picture above and actually think it was a statement of fact (instead of a way to illustrate what an idiot he is).
Great blog…and I can only hope and pray that the Mr. Humble from last night will somehow stumble on this blog before I find myself at a party with him again!
david, i have mixed feelings about this blog from the perspective of what would make a guy attractive to me.
if i was out with a guy and he acted like he knew everything and ran his mouth about things he didn’t know squat about — then yeah, i’m SO not attracted to him.
but if i am out with a guy who just isn’t social and who can’t “mix and mingle” with people, then i gotta tell ya that that doesn’t make me feel very attracted to him either.
hmmmmmmmmmm…..
Great blog David!!
Thanks for posting this David! Having dated men of various nationalities, races and levels of awareness, the “Mr. Humble” syndrome boils down to two main reasons:
1) The men were uncomfortable in the social setting or with their lack of knowledge of the topic at hand. Genuinely wanting to fit in, they fervently and awkwardly attempted to “join the conversation”.
2) On the other hand… They were know-it-alls just trying to show off as though it were a competition. Period.
I had this nasty habit when I was a 10 years old (caused by reason #2). It also followed me on a few dates as a teenager (I was a nervous wreck who felt the need to fill every lull with words–reason #1). Luckily, I learned the power of listening and grew out of it
David, I would go as far as to say that one should aim for the 80/20 Principle and listen even more. That way people will notice how LITTLE they are saying and have to ASK their opinion. A much classier route that works for me.
Rhonda Cort
Great post David. I’ve been Mr. Humble before. I’ve practically done and said things I never actually done in my life to people who experience things beyond my own comfort zone. But I slowly learn to just shut the hell up and listen. But I still have that annoying tendency to go Mr. Humble sometimes, but I am aware of it and I take note of it.
Guys guys guys, this blog has nothing to do with attraction but everything to do with… “don’t be the sales guy”
Ed, you don’t want to make the girl THINK you are smart and confident. You want her to discover for herself that you are. You aren’t here to impress the girl. You are here to show her how much you love your life, how comfortable you are with yourself and from that, she’ll figure out you are smart and confident.
It’s a lot more powerful when you are the things you want her to know about you.. and she finds out for herself.
Katherine, there’s nothing wrong with asking questions. And I don’t believe David is telling you to be the strong silent type… but to know when to shut up … and when to talk.