Billy Joel sings a song called “New York State of Mind.” That song describes what a New York state of mind is, and how he feels when he is in that state of mind. You can see how powerful that state of mind is to him.

Your state of mind is everything when you go out to meet women. Everything.

If you go out to a bar with some friends after your boss has ridden you all day long and made you feel insignificant, then that is precisely what your state of mind is going to be at the bar. Then your night will really be about cleansing, vomiting and regurgitating the anger and all the feelings you have built up that day.

Say you are going out to the market first thing in the morning. You had a bad night the night before, you are not feeling well and you are in a bad mood. Your state of mind will be exactly that.

Your intent may be to go out and meet women at the market. Your intent may be to go to that bar, flirt and meet women.

If your state of mind is not positive and feeling good about yourself, though, then it doesn’t matter what your intentions are. You will never accomplish anything if your state of mind is not in line with your intent.

It’s amazing how much frustration people have and feel about meeting people due to other sources and stimuli in their life. A little trick I tell people all the time to help with this, is to put a picture on the home screen of your iPhone or BlackBerry of something that makes you feel incredibly wonderful.

It could be a picture of your dog. It could be a picture of the first girl you ever kissed. It could be a picture of the mountain you just climbed last weekend. It doesn’t matter what it is.

Whatever image you choose, look at it whenever you feel funky or nervous before you approach someone. Look at it so you have a smile on your face and feel joy.

That is just one thing you can do. There are so many things you can do to create an amazing, peaceful and joyous state of mind. Whatever way you use to get there, without your own version of the New York state of mind, it doesn’t matter what technique you use to meet people. They will never work.