Your Dating Troubles Are All In Your Mind

FUCK YOU DAVID,, lol, I actually agree with this podcast. I have some points though. Changing Mindset is easier said than done. I have 38 years of experiences telling me the way things are. I have dealt with these issues all my life. I must say, I am not a believer in projecting ENERGY. I think when people look at you, they make their mind up about you from your appearance FIRST. First impressions are critical. If an attractive woman looks at you and the first thing she thinks is "Nope, not my type.", then it's pretty much game over. That's just what I believe. And I'm not alone. I think my opinion about this issue is actually mainstream. Maybe not here, but it is what most people believe. Looks matter. Looks play a large role in attraction. I'm not saying you should ever give up. Sometimes I FEEL like giving up. But you shouldn't. It is going to take more work and more approaches, and maybe even a little luck, but it can be done. I honestly hope it can be done. I am tired of being alone. I haven't given up yet. In fact, I am more active than ever. I approach women and try and open conversations all the time. I am just not feeling that connection, or chemistry with anyone. I do get alot of one word answers. I need to keep plugging away at it, and I intend to. Bob gets exactly what it is I have been trying to say. I hope he adds his comments here. Overall, great blog today, and great message.

I feel encouraged, really. Sometimes I forget just how fantastic it is to be alive and have the simple opportunity to be dealing with problems like relationships, rather than food and shelter. I hope you all are able to love yourselves and have an amazing day.

Good one. Indeed, less is more.

I can see what you're saying John but I'd have to disagree. If a woman looks at you and says "Nope, not my type" in no way is it game over. A woman may have a first impression after looking at you, but she will also have a first impression after you approach her and begin talking with her. She may not think you're the most attractive guy in the room initially, but after getting to know you that could change. There's more to attraction than looks. While I agree first impressions are important, I don't simply think first impressions based on looks is all you have to work with.

JJJJOOOOHHHHNNNN, OOHHH YYYEEEAAAHHHH, lol sorry that was the first thought after hearing that blog. well, nevermind.

I'm so fucking far in debt right now, I just had a mountain bike accident, I feel like shit and everything hurts. I don't have any pictures of myself to create my online profile,I don't have anyone around to take pics of myself doing cool shit, One woman online said "I don't find your pictures attractive" I'm not a camera happy person. Also have a thyriod disorder so it takes me forever to get motivated to get out of the house but since I'm so far in debt a mesley $10 for a few coffees is expensive. I can pay it all but it's going to take awhile and no my headlight in my car doesn't work even after replacing the headlight, so it's electrical problem but I can't afford to have it fixed right now!! So all this is bringing my energy down which makes me in no mood to talk to anyone.

First off - way to be a pod cast stalker David!!!! Secondly - Guilty, I admit that I read and listen to your stuff all the time and never leave a comment. Damn EGO!!!! I do agree with you whole-heartedly and try to maintain an upbeat persona, though we all let the ugly ass voice creep in and tell us how "not good enough" we are from time to time. It's not always easy to brush it aside and to tell it to Fuck Off, but once you can do this it feels so freeing.

Thank you David for this podcast. Im looking forward to no more excuses.

After hearing this podcast I feel pissed the fuck off because you didn't answer my question about cockblocking, but hey, that's ok, not everyone has an answer for everything, and I guess you don't know what to do in a situation where a guy embarrasses you and cockblocks you while you approach, date or flirt, but that's ok dude. and yes David, I would date a woman with a negative mindset, if she was sexy, and she was negative, it wouldn't matter. also David, I call bullshit, your mindset doesn't reflect to everyone. I am angry all the time, and always sad, and always negative but I hide it with fake happiness and fake positivity because I am a great actor. and no one has ever noticed that I was a acting. so when you say that mindset reflects onto others, we both know that's bullshit. because if that was the case, I wouldn't be approaching women, because when I approach I am not confident, I act like I am confident and women buy it. if my mindset really reflected on to everyone, women would see it, but they don't. I am the most negative person, but on the outside I am positive and women can never see the real me. tell me David, if women could really sense if a guy isn't confident, then how come no woman has sensed it with me? that is because I hide it and act confident. confidence doesn't have to be real, I have no confidence and I can get numbers. so, @John all you need to know is how to be a good actor and act confident to approach now David... what do you do when someone embarrasses or cockblocks you in front of a woman?

@John : I want to tell you something I learned from a PR expert recently. You say first impressions matter a lot. I say you're wrong. LAST impressions matter. Think about it : I'm sure you've seen at least once, someone at a dinner or party or whatever, who was like everyone's best buddy, the life of the party, etc. And then near the end of the night, he does something totally stupid, or ugly, or immature, or picks a fight... What do people think at that point ? They think "Well, my first impression was wrong, I guess I should have been more careful judging him." They do not rest on their first impression. Inversely, you have that guy who's quiet, reserved, almost absent, and then someone goes and talk to him, and he turns out to be quite interesting... Do you think the person will remember him as he was at the beginning of the night ? No : they'll think he's a charming person that has to be discovered. I also speak from experience : I've seen many a time where a friend or just a random guy had it all, was about to bring a girl home, and then blew it off in a single sentence at the end of the night. God's honest. I've seen how first impressions do not matter as much as we'd think. Now, if you've had the chance to make five first impressions and blew up everyone one of them, sorry but you're pretty screwed and it'll take much time and effort to undo that. But Do not rest on the fact that you can't change a particular angle of the first impression you make. You said to us all in a previous post : "You may argue, but you knwo I'm right." Well no, I do NOT know you're right, in fact from what I've seen, you're quite wrong. I'll never deny that being beautiful is not an asset. But it is no more an asset than being agile, charismatic or smart. Know your strengths and work on them instead of trying to overcome or compensate for your weaknesses. Maybe it'll yield better results !

Tom Look at the other blog from yesterday, I answered your question.

John, you sound very comfortable in your limitations. Trouble is, that kind of comfort doesn't bring happiness or make life worth living. The internal dialogue you have bouncing around in your head determines the look in your eyes and your body language. That's what women are SEEING, not whether you look like a GQ model. If you take a defeatist attitude to a venue then you have, to quote Tsun Tzu,lost the battle before you've entered the field.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wl1CXn60XCw

@Tom : yes, being a good actor is a way to compensate for that "good energy" you don'tr have, at least in appearance. But as soon as someone will want to dig a little deeper, you'll have to be an exponentially better actor to hide it. Until you can't hide it anymore. And if you can hide it till the end of the world, I don't understand what you're doing here instead of effectively portraying the Joker in a Batman movie ! ;-) I may have a clue for your cockblock issue. You seem like a pretty agressive person. I'd (humbly) suggest you make that agressivity work in your favor : try and take the opportunity to cockblock him back ! That6 takes wits, granted, but I think if you think about it you can come up with pretty neat replies to that kind of loser attitude this guy has. For example : he makes you a "No, don't try to date her" face ? A possible reply : "Hey, just because you couldn't to save your life, doesn't mean I couldn't !" Or something along that line, maybe you can formulate it better than I do... But if you can do that, it's more "validation points" to you ! What do you think ?

Bravo. I have always believed --- and experienced --- that it is all an inside job. I am 65 yrs old. I could choose to see myself as old, wrinkled and short, or I can see myself as happy, sexually skilled (and I am), confident, funny, and intriguing. Why give any energy to any other kind of thought? The Inner Critic dies if you stop throwing him chunks of meat in the form of your attention. A recent experience: I finally somehow started to "get" what women want and what it means to be a man, and something inside said, "I can do this." I could FEEL the shift in my body. And you know what? The next day I walked into a meditation group I have been attending for 6 mo, that is full of women. Two of them smiled at me in ways I have never seen them look at me, and another one blew me a kiss. Nothing like this had EVER happened for me in that group. My jaw practically dropped. I had not said one word! These women just immediately read my energy and immediately responded, probably without even thinking about it. This totally blew my mind. Still does whenever I think about it. Women are amazing creatures. God bless them. I now approach them and chat them up whenever I can. What have I got to lose? I am just having fun. If they pass on me, either they have other preferences, or poor taste in men.

@Tom again : I just had another idea... Cause that happened to me once, when I unwillingly un-validated one of my friends in front of a girl. You know what he did ? He basically turned down his voice and said something to the girl along the line of : "Yeah, he's like that, he needs to try and f*ck with other people to feel good about himself." Basically he validated himself back, had a moment of relative intimity with her for that short time, and put me out of the scene for good (if I ever was). I learned a very valuable lesson that day.

@scott w. ,,ah, but Sun Tsu also said, “That your army may be like a grindstone dashed against an egg, use the science of weak points and strong.” All I am pointing out is that not being good looking is a weak point. It will take your strong points to succeed, to overcome your weak points. It will take more work. It will be harder.

Hey David, nice podcast. I got an idea for a next one. I know it will take a little more time and effort to do but it would really be interesting, I think. Next podcast, look through the other blogs and answer short questions you see. Just one after another, I don't think it's necessary to go a lot into detail, just straight to the point. I think it's kind of more interesting and more helpful than just answering by writing. After all, you're the one telling us to stop chatting and start talking :P

I am the thinker... who thinks the thoughts... That makes the things Happen...

Great Podcast David. I absolutely agree, people's self-image and mindset reflects in everything they do, which is why it can be very difficult for some people to break out of them.if you think you're ugly {which by the way i find most people who think they are ugly really arent ugly at all} youll go up to people and act negatively, and then youll use that self sabotage as "proof." "Well it didn't work, I must really be ugly." But it goes the other way too, you can build a positive self-image in the same way. Instead of finding evidence for how ugly you are, you can find evidence for how much people like you

You're right on David, BUT it is also energy and vibration. All these things also control body language which we all read, even subliminally. It's how a lioness picks out her prey out of a herd of zebras....energy (lack), vibration (low) and body language (weak). Dinnertime!!!

@David No you didn't... you wrote this "Tom Come on. You have plenty of other times to flirt with her at work. Let it go who cares who was able to flirt with her better at the meeting. Attraction can build over time and you have plenty of other chances. So be a man and walk over to her and give her your best Tom. This one was easy." Then I later replied with this: "@David, he embarrassed me in front of her, it’s over, I’m not pursuing her anymore. I should kick Denzel’s ass for what he did. saying “No… no… don’t even try” she laughed, and saw me as a joke,and you say let it go? come on, now that’s his girl, why keep pursuing someone who laughed at my approach? it’s all his fault, and I’m really angry at myself for not at least smacking him. why don’t teach us any come back lines David? I suck at embarrassing others verbally, I could only do it in fighting. I am very depressed over it because this happens all the time. what if you were making a how to approach video, and while your approaching some asshole embarrasses you? I know you wouldn’t let it go either. If I can’t hit Denzel then I can fire him, what he did was unfair, I don’t do it to him. now I’m going to teach him his lesson by bullying him, because what he did was bully me. and everyone who says “let it go”, seriously? that’s being hypocritical, I know if someone did that to you, you wouldn’t like it." and "“You have plenty of other times to flirt with her at work. Let it go who cares who was able to flirt with her better at the meeting.” Re-read my post because you didn’t get it… he can flirt with her ALL he wants, but for him to embarrass me, and cockblock me while I’m flirting ruined it, do you not get that he made me look like a joke? do you not get that when he said “no… noo… no don’t even try tom” that it made me look stupid? it’s done, I am not going to talk to her anymore, and Denzel, he is going to pay. you don’t know how it feels David, I felt inferior, I felt like shit at that moment. when I went to my office I was angry, and I took it out on myself, I hurt myself, when I should’ve beaten up Denzel. no one including you would like that David, how would you feel if someone made fun of you in front of a woman?" Stop ducking the question, no more excuses, I want the answer.

Hi David! I liked it very much. I don't think all problems are in the mind, but I can see how most of them are. As for now, I am working in changing my mindset, filling my head with nice thoughts about myself, trying to make up for years of ugly ones. I still can't put my finger on the reason I don't meet people though.

@ Kevin You are a downer now. I think you should take a break from dating, or attempting to date. Try writing down the things in your life that ARE going right in your life, and that you are grateful for. Make a plan to get out of debt. Your wounds from your accident will heal. Things will look up, but you have to be the one to make it happen. Once you get into a positive mental space, people will be attracted to your energy. Women love to be around optimistic men.

Please give me 5 steps (Or however many steps) to improve your mindset. What exercises/training should someone do to improve their mindset?

David...you rock. Sometimes we all need a kick in the butt. Thanks you for the much needed kick which will hopefully propel your readers (myself included) into a state of grateful optimism. It is a beautiful thing to be alive...even with life's challenges...there is always beauty to be found. The only time it can not be found is when we choose not to see it.

Ever take a rest and people watvh at a mall or at a coffee shop? Then you see this great looking girl walking with square looking guy? What does she see in him? ......maybe its his personality or possitive outlook or any number of things.....THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE SUITED FOR SOMEONE.

I really think it's time to give up while I'm still in college. For whatever reason I just cannot connect with any girls here on campus. The past three years I've had no success and this final year has started where girls won't even have simple conversations with me. Sometimes the environment you live in can kill your chances. Ive never had a girl I was friends with in class ever want to do things outside of class and now with the complete lack of conversation that girls seem to have here I think taking this year off and not worrying about all this crap is the best solution.

David, I think your philosophy is so freeing. I am the girl who walks around thinking I'm ugly/overweight/weird. Now that I've been reading your blog, I'm at least looking around and acknowledging the possibility that someone might find me attractive. And now that I'm doing that I do notice men looking at me. I want to thank you for your writing and videos. Due to this new way of looking at things, I decided to be bold and pursue getting together with a person I find very attractive. It turns out that he is in a relationship, but I still had fun with him and hopefully I made a friend. Who knows what the future could bring. And I found that I actually can talk to a man I find very attractive, and he seemed to enjoy my company too. Before, I never would have taken that risk, and always would have wondered, what if? Now at least I know what the situation is. John, by the way, for what it's worth, women don't judge by looks alone. It's looks plus personality. And many times, personality will totally trump looks. How a man looks to a woman is a product of reality plus perception. Change how they perceive you, and you create a new reality.

Dear David, I really enjoy listening to your podcasts. I have been listening to your podcasts for almost 3 years now and this is the first time I am ever commenting on your blog! I guess you can say that I have been living in the shadows for sometime. I know you are really busy and may never respond to this message, but I wanted to know if you would be able to have your podcasts the same format as it was on Sept. 21, 2011. The reason I am requesting this is because I am no longer able to listen to your podcasts on my smart phone from the format change. I can only listen to your podcasts on my computer. I would like to listen to your podcasts on my portable device once again and I would greatly appreciate it if you could make the necessary changes to the format so I can be able to listen to it. I find your podcasts to be very inspiring and informative on life and I look forward to investing in one of your bootcamps someday. I feel much better about myself and see myself as a better person thanks to you. It took me awhile to find you in the beginning due to all the other dating Gurus out there. I first noticed you after watching that movie Hitch which was based on your teachings and reading your book Always Talk To Strangers which was a great book by the way. Ever since then, I have been on your website without you knowing who the hell I was. I wanted to express my gratitude to you for your hard work in helping people change their lives for the better. I remember from a movie where a navy military guy says to the other: "In order to succeed, you must first believe.". This all starts with your mindset and the lifestyle you have for yourself. Oprah said it very well on her last episode when she said that it is all about your energy that you portray to other people. People can feel your energy and your energy is affected by your mindset. I wanted to end this first blog of mine by asking a question to you David Wygant. This is a question I have had for the longest time. My question to you David is this: How have you seen yourself change as a person over the past few years? The reason I am asking you this is because I remember watching a video of you where you were sitting with a dog and talking with another dating guru. He asked you a question about a girl you were previously dating and I remember you responded by saying: "She wants to go away with somebody. I don't want to go away with anybody. I only want to go away with myself.". Do you still think this way David? I would like to hear you talk about this on the next podcast If you can. Very truly yours, Daniel

@melissa ,, You're right, It is LOOKS + personality. But I believe a woman will want to learn about your personality, only after she approves your looks. I can't believe this many people disagree that looks play a big role in attraction.

Hey David, This is Daniel again. I forgot to mention earlier about my previous comment that I made about how you see yourself change. The reason I am asking this question to you is because I find it hard sometimes to see how I have changed as a person. I guess it is easier for other people to notice changes in myself unless I see myself through a third person point of view which I don't usually see unless I am either watching a video of myself or seeing what I wrote in a journal. I also meant to say earlier that it was your dog that you were sitting with. I look forward to hearing back from you David. -Daniel-

@David s,, man don't give up. You are in college man, you have an abundance of women there. I'm in my late 30's. It is really hard to find single women my own age. You should have no problem in college. Don't wait until years has passed by and you end up old and bitter like me. Trust me, go for it now. I've had the best luck starting conversations by looking for something on HER to comment on. A piercing, a tatoo, something like that. The challenge is keeping the conversation going, and not letting the conversation get boring.

Yes, it's all in the mindset. 3 years ago post divorce, I was a wreck. My self esteem plummeted so much that it was making me turn into a miserable old cow. Needless to say, dating life sucked. Slowly but surely, I picked up my self esteem, surrounded myself with people I love and who are happy and started doing things that I truly enjoy. When I think it, I AM it. When one starts to display positive energy and vibes, people are naturally drawn to you. I still weigh the same as I was, look the same as I was, the only difference is now I think I'm one hot woman and that somehow 'appears' to be true to others as well. I have little problem getting dates, and men even chat me up at random places. So YES David, having a positive mindset is important.

Short, but sweet. Very good advise. I work on my mindset everyday. What you focus on expands of course, but getting out of the habits can be difficult. It takes a little practice to stay in a positive frame of mind even though the application is simple.

Great Podcast David. Can everyone give David a hand here. Forward this to anyone who needs it great job!

@john i think you over generalize the importance of looks when it comes to women. I have found that looks on my part are less important than my background, what I do for a living, what hobbies I have and most importantly my personality and knowing how to use that to engage women in a way that intrigues and seduces them. I'm not going to lie that money doesn't hurt. Your focus should be on the above things mentioned. You know that you have seen plenty of uninteresting, not that great looking, hardly financially successful men with attractive women. They tapped into communicating and seducing women. If david has offered you a free bootcamp i would take it and forget about not taking handouts. you got a hand out the day you were born in a america and not africa. so please stop that bullshit. though I might be confusing you with another person and if so i'm sorry. Your main focus should be how does a woman feel attraction with a man and throw out all your pre biases. I think you'll come to realize you don't lack wealth or looks but game.

FANTASTIC podcast David! Just awesome. This is a reminder I choose to give myself on a daily basis (no matter how tough the going gets). Honoring my positive mental attitude helps me appreciate and focus on the good AND... the bonus is that it allows me to harness my attractive powers. WE ALL HAVE THIS! On a side note >> I met a guy 4 mos ago who definitely 'wasn't my type' (i still feel this way to some degree) and we are still dating. His confidence and kindness are like a drug to me! I think he is fairly attractive on the outside but after chatting online and a coffee, I gave him a chance because the 1st impression led me to find him extremely attractive in every other way. We are VERY different but I just think he has what I need...a truly happy/cool confident guy (no matter how hard times may be) and he is kind. These are qualities I could not see in his clothing style or profile... they ARE in his energy and his actions. ... and it is HOT!

John, are you saying this because you believe your looks are stopping you from meeting women? I don't mean to be personal but just blunt when I say that some of your comments, such as that you are "old and bitter" indicate that a negative attitude might actually be hindering you. Of course, I don't know. That's just an idea. I don't find a man in his late 30s to be old. I'm 31. I'm just trying to be helpful. I've been attracted to all sorts of men, from conventionally attractive to not. But they were attractive to me, for different reasons. If you think your looks are so bad (which I doubt) that women are rejecting you out of hand, then you need to find a way to be around the same women over and over again until they get to know you and find you attractive. A class or something. Let them get to know you.

Hey David, great podcast. I am a big believer of "projecting energy", though I would rather call it having a giving mindset, the wording to me is important. Without your products + tony robbins, I would never have changed my mindset. But dammit, it was a hard and long process. Accepting and even applying everything you guys said was the easy part, it was the constant testing of what worked best for me that was difficult. After a couple of weeks, my confidence skyrocketed. I was able to talk to not only to girls but to groups of people as well, unlike before. I'm only 18 but I've tried to live my life revolving around things such as kindness, compassion, understanding, leadership,,being positive, confidence, calmness, and happiness. Everyday I try to make everyone else's life better, even if it only means a smile from them here or there. If feels good, it really does. But sometimes, even though I may not think about it sometimes, I know I have negative thoughts. When it comes to girls, it's usually something "out of my control". Heck, I've been interested in this girl for a couple of weeks and I think she was interested in me as well, and I know it was completely MY fault if she was and doesn't anymore. I had for the first time in a while, that voice in my head saying "oh she doesn't want to be bothered" "oh, she might be busy" "oh, she will be offended if I say this". It didn't stop me from talking to her, but it took me MUCH longer than i would have normally done it. Something that shouldn't have lasted more than one week and instead made it last 4-5 weeks... My mistake. I have gotten much better with women, generally. That "drunken monkey" stays quiet mostly but sometimes it comes out and it SUCKS. I get used to being my own man. I see girls as just other people to talk to. It's not hard. I can strike a conversation with any girl and go from there, except with this past girl and I don't know why or what happened to me. I got comfortable with who I have become. I have become extremely happy with my life. But I have become comfortable with my life. And I think that is my problem. You know what, fuck this. I know what to do now. Staying in one place doesn't work. I need to be moving forward. Always striving to be better. Always moving forward and trying new things and seeing how far I can go with this. Doing exactly the opposite of what I normally do is the answer. It's time to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Push the boundaries. Maybe this might spark new and better things in my life (and get a girl while im at it!) I guess this venting did help out. Found my answer while talking to myself lol, thanks David!

Hey Dan I want everyone to read Dans last line. When you vent and re read it the answer usually lies in the vent. Good insight my friend

Positive Is The Way I Live=D

Inspiring blog. I really don't see any new or usefull information here though. It is easy to just say your thoughts control your actions. Well, yes this is true, but the vise versa is true as well. If you are short, fat, ugly, unintelligent,and unkempt,(yes, this is a fact for much of the human population) and try to portray a person of perfection. Handsome, intelligent, slim, well dressed, admired, full of abundance, you will fail miserably and be laughed at while failing. You CANNOT just think that you are something, that you are not. You really DO have to be realistic in your approach, and expectations in life. If you are a man who has a blue collar job, 5'4",average intelligence, drive a Pinto, live with your mom, etc., I don't care how much of David Wygant courses you study, to become positive and abundant, you will fail! Live life to the fullest, but live life with realistic expectations!! C'mon people, be a realist, rther than an idealist who will be looking for something you will NEVER achieve, and waste your entire life chasing unrealistic dreams! Live life to the fullest, but live it within your means, and you will achieve the most, lasting happiness. Quit being chearleaders, and start giving people REAL help that they can really use!

hey dave this is jose corona great podcast man really appreciated you sending my this podcast i bought several of your products yet i still not where i want to be in my dating live i just one to now one thing how can i change my mind set becuase if i am able to change my mindset and able to concentrate i will be able to thrive in other areas of my life i am looking foward to hearing from you thank you very much...

Forget it, I've finally come to realization that there is no answer to preventing or a solution to cockblockers, or embarrassment. since David isn't giving me an answer, I'm assuming that there is no answer to it. I also realized that I should again fight the person who embarrasses me or cockblocks me, because it is at least close to a solution to it. also, I won't feel good until Denzel is off my list of worries, so yes, I will again have to fire another employee, I will fire Denzel because he bullied me by what he did. I never did anything to him and he decides to not only embarrass me and cockblock me in front of Trish, but he also embarrassed me in front of everyone else in the room. I'm not going to look inferior. I'm not going to fight Denzel, I'm going to strip the food off of his table, I have so much problems in my life, and he decides to add another problem, so now I give him a problem, unemployment. like @Shogo said, life isn't fair. what Denzel did to me wasn't fair, but that doesn't mean I can't be unfair too by firing him. I will no longer tolerate bullying. 1 strike and your out. if it's at work, you get fired, if it's from outside of work, then if your a man, we fight, and if your a woman, I make you cry. no more bullshit, so @David I want you to read this, I am finally going to stand up and not take shit, and I will make Denzel unemployed.

great podcast i just saw "gladiator"and i will be watching it every time i can because it is the kind of man i want to become i m by no means suck with women i had many success but lately i guess i feel i don't look good enough and that's what keeps me from reaching my potential with women

Great podcast! I'm seeing the truth of this more and more every day. The trouble is that some self-perceptions are so deeply seated that it takes a lot of work to unseat them. It's so worth it to keep chipping away at it every day. Any suggestions to help move the process along? I've been doing daily affirmations and they've helped a lot, but there must be more that I can do.

Ok I said I would not judge anyone, so I appologize if this comes off as judgemental. Everyone please do yourself a favor and STOP WITH THE GODDAMN WORD BUT. I've seen comments over the past few blogs, and I've seen "but this... but that..." BUT FUCKING NOTHING. Stop saying it, you invent a new excuse everytime you say it. reframe everything in a positive light and you will have no excuses. This is not easy, I know because I'm still in the process and I've been in the process for months. I'm as sick of my own excuses as david is with everyone else's. YOU HAVE TO MAKE THE EFFORT TO CHANGE YOUR MINDSET BECAUSE NO ONE WILL CHANGE IT FOR YOU. eliminate but and you have taken the biggest step forward. I will continue to post this as long as I see excuses, cause it shows that people do not get it. Change your thoughts, and you will change your destiny

Great podcast. Great advice. Time for me to listen,learn, be more aware and act! Thanks David

Bob Come one now, even you know that there are no limits just look at your own life. I need to post your story up here. You have a high school education and could have just lived the blue collar life that was handed to you. The one bagging groceries and not making anything of yourself. But you choose to dream and to work hard and build something for yourself. Rags to riches and it was all based on hard work and mindset. So you were your own cheerleader and your belief in yourself has made you the man you are today. You did not buy into any limitations!! So dont tell anyone to ever stop fighting believing and desiring the life that so want to achieve

I agree with David. Doesn't matter if you are short or ugly or fat....if you feel confidence for yourself.... people will see you attractive. Nobody's perfect....

Here is Bobs story for those of you who missed it. Does this sound like a man who placed limitations on himself and lived within his means. Bob October 8, 2011 at 10:08 pmEdit 60 Seth, I am a self made millionaire (I know, no one cares, just stating to let you know I worked very hard), with a high school education, from a poor family, through buying and selling houses, and real estate, and opening several small businesses at the same time. All the while working full time in the grocery business (started at Winn Dixie at 15 bagging groceries while in 9th grade high school). (buying the houses low, working my ass off to remodel and fix them up,on a shoestring budget, sometimes all night, before going to school, and work,the next morning. (I bought my first house at 17 (afer learning I was too young to complete a contract, had to talk my mom into cosigning the loan, because I was not legal age)I owned three businesses, and many rental homes by the time I was in my early twenties. I also ran a pro bracket race car, along with working out, and competing in bodybuilding. I then got into breeding, training and showing world class horses, at the same time, as I was operating several businesses (quit my grocery job, finally) I am now a six time world champion cowboy (I know, that is a joke to you, but I am very proud of my accomplishments). I then moved to buying “fixer up” mobile home parks, and rented spaces and mobiles at the most reasonable prices in town (far below what I could have recieved), and forgave MANY rents for seniors, and folks that were having hard times, because of layoffs, divorces, or just plain bad luck. I frequently let people stay for FREE in Many of my rentals,for MONTHS, if I felt they were good, honest people, that had just fallen on hard times, at tremendous losses in income to myself. (how many FREE boot camps and seminars has your “hero” given away to men who just could not afford them? Has he paid travel, motel, expenses to ONE person who genuinely needed help, and maybe even saved a poor guy from depressioin or WORSE, who really needed it? I don’t think so. I can tell my his marketing (I’m actually a shrewd businessman), that this is a cash cow business, done with marketing, and for maximum profit. I have now sold all my real estate, and volunteer my time, as a multiple World Champion cowboy, to disabled children, (riding academy) and give freely to persons whom I deem have had a “difficult” time, through no fault of their own, in numerous ways. So, yes I am confident, and nothing anyone says on this little blog, has any effect on my self worth or feelings. I hope this will answer some of the questions I have been hesitant to answer about myself, but felt it was time to tell a little about myself. Best of luck to you.

You make it sound so easssyyy.... How do you just change your mindset? you would be just acting confident like what tom was saying. I feel that from relying this kind of advice, my confidence is very short-lived. I get an inspiring blog that tells me that all i have to do is change my thoughts, and usually i feel pretty good. I'm confident for that day. or even a couple days. But then something goes wrong, so I try another mindset. I'm confident again, but then it break apart. I WANT LONG LASTING CONFIDENCE. Lately I've been kind of lonely at college, so i felt my self-worth go down. So now I'm try to build it up again by listening to you products again (self love, mastery series, master communicator) along with other gurus and teachers I've been learning from, like Wayne Dyer and AMP. But the more i learn, the more in-my-head I get. I begin to doubt my own instincts because i know there is a right way of doing things. for instance, "What mindset should I adopt, every guru says something different", "Should I have God be my source of my confidence or should it be from journalling, or meditating, writing my wins, or fake it till you make it?", "is confidence something you need to earn through attaining goals, or can confidence be gained through affirmations?" Should I talk myself up or should I just not think and do it?" All of this information clutters my mind so much that I can't even do the one advice that all you guys agree on: to be yourself. And worst of all, when I become aware that I'm actually feeling confident just for whatever reason, I get in my head to try to figure out what mindset, guru, affirmation, etc. got me to feel confident. And usually its because someone validated me, which is exactly the wrong reason to feel confident. I think i still care about what other people say is because I use other people to gauge how I am doing socially, like if the positve mindset is working or not. I obviously got myself in a problem with personal development, so I'm going to try and let go of it all, as hard as it may be.

Yes, this is an actual, true story. But, I am an unusualy, VERY driven,person, and have a nearly unstopable attitude,and persaverance, that most do not, once I set my mind to it. I would have liked to achieve to the level of Donald Trump, howevre, I realized, with my skill set, intelligence, eduacation, realism, and abilities, I could never attain such great end results. So....I was realistic, and started small, worked hard, and ahieved what was reasonable and achievable FOR ME!. Others dream impossible dreams, expect unrealistic results, from unreasonable efforts expended to achieve them. I am very driven, and goal oriented (few people have this trait), and achieved as much as humanly possible FOR ME. In other words, I had reasonable expectations for my talents, and skill set. If I had set out to equal or better Donal Trump, I would have failed miserably, and been a total loser, ending in depression and failure. So, as I said, know your limits, try to attain them, and work hard, and you will reach a reasonable goal of having the best life that you were born to have.

Maybe it's because of where I live, South Korea, being white, and standing out. It doesn't matter how I dress or what I do, here in Korea what Korean's will see first is that I am a foreigner, then the personality, clothes looks or whatever qualities I have is seen later. but it seems like whenever I go out there and get friendly there's this vibe I get from cock blockers. Cock blockers consist of anyone on the side lines watching me talk to a nice girl, or I even end up talking to a cock blocker that I didn't know was one. So that's one of my big struggles in public is "how to deflect the cock blockers?" Or at least perry their attempts. I saw you in one of your vids talking to the posters and as people walk by they stare at you like you are from another planet. It's annoying, and that's my rant for today.

I have always made excuses and it has prevented me from accomplishing alot. Thanks for the kick in the ass keep em coming

Bob You did not have Daddy Trump to give you all that money either. That is the big difference here. I did not have Daddy TRump either and everything I have done I did on my own with my own sweat and money. You are an inspiration when your not an ass :) I think the mind has no limitations and that is why I posted your story. I enjoy the banter we have back and forth but I want people to know that you are someone that has worked hard and fought hard for everything. Good job bob. And maybe tomorrow we can go back to fighting :) All this brotherly love is boring.

If this is the venting part of the blog then here I go. I am sick and tired of being afraid to approach people when I walk by them or see them. When I see a cute girl, I over analyze her and think over and over and over, "What is the best line to say to her to get her to like me?" And while I am so in my head, she just walks past me. It get me down EVERY SINGLE TIME. I see a beautiful girl and get so scared and approach anxiety kicks in and I just tense up and let my ego comfort me. NO MORE I SAY NO MORE. It is time to drop my ego and just let myself go and be vulnerable. I am going to walk around every day like it is my last and just say hello to people, and if I see that beautiful woman, I will not, I REPEAT WILL NOT, be afraid and will just start a conversation with her. If she doesn't respond, WHO CARES?!?!?! That's right, no one cared. Fuck what people think. It's time to introduce the world to the ego-less and fearless Tommy.

@Tom. It is really easy to figure out Davids message but you continually overlook what he told you. The reason that David probably didn't respond to you is because so many other people on this blog are giving you advice and Obviously you don't take none of it in. You have never practiced any advice David or any of the comm-enters sent you because you wouldn't still be commenting all this negative nonsense, Don't tell me that you went and tried something once or for a short while and it didn't work because it takes more than just trying something a few times for it to work. I also know that there are people in this world who have gone threw way more worse things than you did and live very successful lives, while you are sitting here complaining like a little girl that has never grown up instead of just stepping up to the plate like a man, putting your past behind you like a man does, overcoming your problems like man does and like many people have done before you by changing there life for the better. I can now completely see why David does not respond to you. It is because you have such a powerful Ego that you will not let go of no matter what someone tells you just argue with them to protect your ego instead of hearing them out. Why not Really try to change your life for the better without hurting someone or for revenge? Why not Really try and Be a real man by letting go of your ego and overcome problems like many before you have.

Thanks David, I did work hard to achieve and am now trying to "give back" some of my good fortune. but I have to admit that I have been lucky..same as you. I recognize not everyone is born as fortunate, to have such luck, ambition, drive, and even with persaverance and hard work, some will not make it, like I did.I gave up a lot, that some are not willing to do (family, children, loving relationships, etc) to achieve my fanatic goals, so don't reccommend it for everyone. That is why I suggest a more "reasonable" well rounded, responsible life, to achieve the most happiness.

Could anyone come up with a fake reason to fire Denzel? because I cannot come up with one, and I have until tomorrow. Also, David Bob's story doesn't relate to me, he was smart in something(Taking the easy way out because he knew the business of buying and selling houses) or was lucky. I have no resources, the only thing that keeps me going is my fist, when I fight. you may think that fighting is stupid but it is not. see, I am not worthy of being called a man, I ain't shit and I'm never going to be shit, I fight to have an image. My ego is the most important thing in my life, and it keeps getting crushed. if it weren't for my ego, I would be dead. everyone has it lucky. I try and I try and I try, I work hard and I get shit. and don't tell me that I don't, because I do everyday. I'm going to tell you guys a story from when I was 23 years old in 1999, I almost killed myself for a woman. I knew Maybell didn't like me, so I stopped going after her, and I was going after Francine, a woman I was after for a long time, she starts to hang out with another guy named Robert, (fucking football player, he was obviously better than me) and slowly starts drifting away from me. I asked Maybell what to do, and she wasn't helping me, and we argued, and she told me that nobody likes me. so we stopped talking for a while, I meet up with Francine and Robert was there, and he makes me look stupid to impress her, I called him out on it, and he told me to hit the bricks "weirdo", I told Francine that we should leave, and she didn't want to, I was flabbergasted and called her out, she pissed me off, and she told me that she's staying with Robert, I then made the mistake of asking her if she liked him, and she said she did, I asked if she liked me, and she didn't answer which meant no. I went home crying, and when I say crying I mean I lost it. I went home where my sister was staying at, and took 15 vicodins, and my sister rushed me to the emergency room where they had to get the pills out of me before they got digested. maybell, my mother, and my sister were in the hospital, and I told them to get the fuck out. I had to stay in the hospital for 2 days, and had to stay in the mental ward for 1 day. me and Maybell became friends again, but in 2000, you know what happened, and I never talked to her again. I had to see a therapist but I didn't go, and everyday someone from the hospital would come to my house with a police van until I requested them to stop. This is why I hate women, they love to treat me like shit. but if something bad happens to me because of them, they are too cowardice to take responsibility. I will never talk to Francine in my life ever again for what she did to me, she almost took my life, and hide from me and my family when confronted. I promised to not do that again, I will never attempt suicide again. that is why people like Denzel will have food stripped off their table, I will fire him with no regret, I will feel happy, maybe he will be depressed and I will like every second of the revenge. that is what he deserves for his inconsideration of my feelings and image.

david, your stuff works great, i am going to download this podcast for future reference. i have been listening and bought one of your books. The free videos and emails are great as well. Every single person should read the two blogs about their "ego" and this podcast is a must. Thanks for the Help.

Bob Life is all about making sacrifices. But the ones I made was well worth it for the life that I have crafted. Thats why I tell people in order to have you must make decisions that may be tough but in the end it is all worth it.

I want everyone to look at some of the venting. You will always find a hole somewhere to hide your excuses.

@David Wygant "I want everyone to look at some of the venting. You will always find a hole somewhere to hide your excuses." You're right, but I ain't one of them, you could read what I write over and over again and you won't find excuses. hope you're not talking about me dude, because my post don't have excuses.

Hey David, Great podcast . . . short and to the point. Just as it should be. I've been following your blog for a while, but this is my first time commenting on the site. That said, I think you hit it right on the money. So many men and women bitch and complain about not meeting anyone, and then shit their pants when the opportunity presents itself. The fact is, excuses are tools of incompetence, used to build monuments of nothingness . . . and those that use them seldomly amount to anything (yes, I know that's brilliant...no, I didn't make it up lol). You mentioned that people may think they're too ugly or too short to approach a woman . . . frankly, that's just sad! I mean, just look around. We see "ugly" and "short" guys with crazy hot women on their arms all the time. There is no place for excuses if you want to accomplish something. It's as simple as that.

I agree with you David. We can not attract real love if we don't love our self first. We have to treat ourselves how we would want others to treat us. If we don't want other people calling us names and poking fun at us then we shouldn't do it to ourselves either. I love your practical common sense advice. It is very useful to me.

Hey thanks a lot. I have a negative mind. Today I was talking to the girl I like and hanging out with her. I then went to the bathroom and looked at the mirror. I saw my self and said "wow look at me. So much acne." That disturbs me it makes me feel ugly and I think "oh my gosh, the girl I like must thing im ugly!" I got way to much acne and weird looking round glasses. In my mind, I think she won't like me and she wants me to leave her alone. And I am disturbed because of this :( I appreciate your pod cast david thanks a lot, ivan

@Tom, there's no need to worry about cockblocking because it doesn't matter. You can't be cockblocked if you're putting your best self out in the world. Other guys will talk to her but if she is attracted to you she will stick around. If she isn't, who cares? Lots of women out there! This venting blog is important. Whenever I can't figure out what's bothering me I vent and the first thing that comes out of my mouth always tells me what my excuse is and what the truth is. I've been feeling stressed about school lately because I should be researching for my thesis and I haven't been. I haven't been able to motivate myself. I couldn't figure out why either. I vented and the first words out of my mouth were "My topic is so fucking boring and I feel trapped by it because it's what I've been telling everyone I'd be doing at school." What did my vent tell me? 1.) I was bored as shit with what I was doing. 2.) My ego was keeping me with it because I didn't want to look like I was quitting. Since I'm doing my best to only do things that interest me and to not care about what others think I changed my topic to exactly what I want and I feel awesome. There are no limits except for what I put on myself. I'm not special in this. If you feel there are limits in your life you're the only one putting them there.

Yea yea, I was the idealist, dreamer, expecting to achieve all I dreamed and in my case it even worked out exactly as planned.But, In the end, was it worth it? I don't know about that answer,(I have my doubts, because of the "normal" events that happen in an ordinary life, that I never experienced) as I never lived the realistic, responsible, ordinary, side of life... That's why I suggest to people to not dream too big, and make too big a sacrifice, because it might indeed come true. But, at what cost? Maybe the simpler, realistic, mundane way of life would have been the better route...

Its all about conveying positive energy. Its proven if your smiling greeting people and just asking how they are doing that day or how their night is going people feel cared for. Everyone wants to feel cared for and everyone likes a little attn. What you will find is that when you treat people like this they are going to think highly of you and gravitate towards you, male or female it creates attraction. Although it might not score you a date automatically it is going to make you a better conversationalist, a better person, and someone who people remember, you make yourself memorable, from there getting a date is easy. First time commenting and I must say David knows what he is talking about, everyone on here attacking or looking for loophole scenarios where his teachings don't exactly work or help are people just making excuses. Stop making excuses for everything your not progressing. Thanks David for spreading your knowledge.

You want to know the type of person I am? well since David is the master of observation(sure...) then you should figure it out. Go to 0:42 of this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWVwr6WJlsc when the guy is hitting jokers chest and the joker hits the table, that is the guy that I am.

David, thanks for this pod cast. I tend to browse this site instead of posting but I feel it has really given me a good kick up the ass I need, so wanted to respond. I have liked this guy for a while and when he has approached me to have a conversation or asked me a general question I tend to mess up and be shy and look down or say I have to go... my mind set says I am not good enough for him and what will he see in me, I guess I am giving off that energy. A negative energy which leads him to think I do not like him or want to speak with him...I know it is all in my mind and I really need to work on approaching men I am attracted to but find it hard...how can you be confident without feeling confident? Thanks so much!

How come David never gets rejected when he approaches women?... hmmm, and if he does why doesn't he record it and show his reaction to rejection?

OK, so it's my turn to bitch. I used to think guys didn't ask me out because I was too ugly and too fat. So, I decided to get healthier, but that has not totally solved the problem. I have realized (with the help of others) that although I may be skinnier than I used to be, I still don't always exude confidence. But why the hell not? It's my mindset. It's not easy to change something that has been programmed into me for so long, and it takes work. I mean really, what the hell is there not to like about me? I'm smart, I'm attractive (yes, those really *can* go together), and I am a sweet person. The trouble is, I am always confusing confidence with arrogance. Thanks for listening.

Oops, that last part wasn't exactly clear. What I meant was that I want to exude confidence without coming across as arrogant or bitchy. How do I do that? I usually worry that my confidence will be seen negatively, when that is not my intent.

Ok David, I feel like you were challenging me to comment on the blog today because you know I “got it.” :) You know I figured out how to change my mindset and attitude and you saw it in Toronto. Now when we were in Chicago you asked me what exactly it was that “clicked” - I couldn’t tell you, I really didn’t know what exactly it was (I do now). However, I do know that the change in my mindset, my attitude, the way I presented myself (personality wise), had some many dramatic effects on my life. I’ve read Tony Robbins & Stephen Covey – they both give you the blueprint for getting your life in order, for achieving what you want in life, by following known principles for success. David does the same as it pertains to relationships (and much more if you really understand) – but ancient Chinese figured it out thousands of years ago. Just like Sun Tzu figured out the art of war, that same blueprint has been used by many battle hardened Generals. Lau Tzu (don’t know if there were related) figured out the “way” or the “path” - The Tao. The Tao has five areas: Spirituality, Mind, Relationships, Your World & Your Destiny. I will share a few quotes, each of which has a very deep meaning when you understand: “You are the absolute authority of your own life.” “Respect: The difference has little to do with who we are or where we come from. Instead it has more to do with attitude and the way we handle challenges in the demanding training program called life.” “Have we been applying too much paint in our lives, attempting to cover up smears and smudges? If so, then maybe it's time to change the approach. Rather to conceal, we need to reveal.” “Become mindfully aware of karmic consequences. See life and death clearly to really appreciate the marvelous opportunity we have.” “The ultimate level of life transformation is not just going through it or watching someone else go through it. There is something even greater, and that is actively helping others discover the possibility of genuine change, and turn that possibility into reality.” So, you can change your attitude – there is a blueprint that can be followed, no matter where you are in life. Guys – if you haven’t figured it out by now (or just don’t believe) women have a unique sense for a guy who’s “got it.” What is “it”? The mindset, the positive attitude. It draws them like bees to honey (OK a backwards metaphor). I’m not particularly good looking (IMO), I’m overweight (but I exercise daily, eat right and I’m loosing weight), but my attitude is always positive and everyone I meet notices. Women I barely knew before now come up and talk to me – and young women too – more than half my age!! I have women in their early 20’s who will come up and talk to me in the bar when they see me come in. I have a 23 year old women right now who wanted a casual relationship with me (OK she wanted to have sex with me) – we met at a class, she lives on the other side of the country. She has offered up her bed for me if I would come to a conference next month, even if only for a few days. Yes women feel the positive energy – it attracts them and they can’t get enough of it. So, dump the negative bull shit I’ve been reading the past weeks – just let it go – stop the excuses – learn to silent the monkey chatter (I did) – learn the lessons – apply the lessons in your daily lives, every day – you WILL see the difference. “Resolve conflicts and establish harmony deep within. When the aspects of your mind come together to function in synergistic harmony, there is no limit to what you can accomplish.” – The Tao

I Thank God for every day of my life. That is my mindset No Matter how bad you think you have it things can always be worse. When you feel life is out of focus always return to the main principle BREATH. Be like water shapeless and formless. If you pour water into the cup it becomes the cup if you pour it into a bottle it becomes the bottle. Be like water it can crash or it can flow. Keep on Flowing!

@ Tom - I've seen David get "rejected" by women. His attitude is "fuck her" and he moves on. He, and others who get it, don't dwell on it, the monkey is silent. Move on, it just doesn't matter. "You can't fix stupid - but it's job security."

@Amy, just be your confident self, don't go out with an attitude that you want to attract someone - and drop the worrying about how you will be perceived. Just go about being happy and confident, that's it.

Yes!

Fucking mind,I hate everytime when I start to think.I pay too much attention what others say,and I try to be cool but no man,like imposiblle,last time I don't know what to think about me. I want to know David,how many times you failded when you tried to approach some women,and how was the feeling to you. I feel bad when something goes wrong,I can't be confident when i look that someone is laughting about what I did,or someone is thinking negative about me. Just give me one of your personal experience,about some situation when you failed approaching some women how you solve that you know.Sorry again if I disturb,but from these blogs I learn,if I had enough money i would be at your bootcamp.Thanks

Hi David, This is the first time I post a comment here. Let me tell you that I really enjoy your podcasts and blog posts. You're a very sincere guy and straight to the point. Your women advices have helped me a lot. I’m a regular looking guy and I was very skinny plus had a very insecure and shy personality before. I took lots of your advices like, improve your looks, improve your persona, get some new habits or hobbies. So I started working out on my own at my house (because I don’t like crowded smelly gyms) and gained some weight. I started to approach regular looking women and asked some advice on how to improve my looks and so, I dress fairly well now. I took even more women advice on good habits like not to byte my finger nails, comb my hair, say good morning or have a nice day to people at work and college. I changed almost everything bad in my persona for good. The result, women actually enjoy spending time with me now because with all of these changes I started gaining more self esteem and confidence with myself. Even when I’m in a bad mood they are there looking after me to cheer me up and I really enjoy it. One day in college I was sitting next to this girl, the typical hot girl of the class and she certainly looked sexy in her “micro” skirt, big cleavage blouse and a work jacket. She was feeling sexy, bored and very secure about herself sitting there chewing gum. Her attitude made me feel very scared and intimidated. I wanted to approach her of course so I thought of three things to kick my fear away: 1. I thought that whatever I did to approach to her, it won’t matter to me if it bothers her or not, I can always apologize later so fuck it if she gets angry when I shoot her a line, number 2. She eats, she bathes, she has problems too and maybe she even poops more than I do in the morning so she’s a complete human being even if she’s inside those sexy clothes, and 3. Even if we don’t connect, this should be about having fun. I wanted to drop her a line but I couldn’t think of anything good as usual, but I noticed she had her bubble gum pack on her desk so I took it. I unfolded her last bubble gum, put it in my mouth and said while chewing it “Nah just kidding” and returned to her only the empty foil. Her answer “Just kiddin?? You actually took it and ate it!” “Do you want it back?” I said, “Eww noooooo” she said, “It tastes cheap though, I don’t know how you can eat this, come lets go to the cafeteria I’ll buy you some good chewing gum”. We left the classroom and started talking about how boring that professor is and other “xyz” garbage. Now she’s one of my best friends (we kissed a couple of times but I didn’t want nothing more because I found out that she’s a bimbo). It was that simple. Now I bug girls like that just like in kindergarten and I’ve found that they love it, I mean, being playful. But I realized it because I built confidence in myself first. You can’t imagine how insecure of a person I was before I made these small changes. I never ever talked to women by fear of being rejected and I always thought that life was constantly turning her back on me, CONSTANTLY, and nothing came out to be the way I wanted it to be because I never acted! So I was a little passive, naive and shy boy. My father also helped me on this too by telling me “If life turns her back on you, grab her ass”. That was enlightening to me. And I’ve found that life has the best booty ever! I have a girlfriend now, we love each other, we fight, we forgive each other, we tease, we have fun and the roller coster never ends. And the best part, I have other options if things end between us. So thank you David. You’re a great guy. Sorry but I couldn’t figure out how to put all this in short.

Noun: A man's penis.

like bob said enjoy your shitty life because there is no moving up unless your name is "bob" ofcourse....

Hey friends. I'm on my lunch break now, so I got some time to contribute. Actually, I have a lot to contribute on this subject, but one thing at a time. In this podcast, David talked about about how thoughts affect actions. Specifically, he said, "If I think I'm ugly, she's going to feel that energy and give me one-word answers," or words to that effect. Aesthetically speaking, I am not very good looking (though I'm not a bridge troll either, and I have worked on my style). But I AM attractive! In my studies, I have come across the notion (and I agree with it) that good looking and attractive are two very different things. In my life I have met beautiful women with the personality of a coffin nail or an angry pit-bull. I have also met not so good-looking women whom I love talking to. I remember in one of David's pod casts about 10 months back, he talked about a fat woman and that people love her anyway. That's because, though she doesn't look like a Bond Girl, she is still attractive. You see friends, Good looking simply has to do with what is pleasing to the eye. Sometimes (a lot of times?) it's different from person to person, culture to culture, time period to time period. The thing about looks? They go away over time. Just ask Arnold Schwarzenegger. Attraction has NOTHING to do with your looks and everything to do with the kind of energy you put out. How do you make people feel when they're around you? Do you contradict people all the time? Are you the kind of person whom no one can tell you anything? Do you lift peoples' spirits up? Do you respect people for who they are? Can you be realistically positive? This is what I mean in a nutshell when I talk about attractive. And friends? Attractive can stay around you FOREVER.

I totally agree with everything you said; however I find that i have to put my thoughts into action on a daily basis. Although I am a protestant and believe in faith alone with out works as far as religion goes. I do think you need to take action. No matter how I feel. I will take action. Because David when I hate my life I will not approach a woman period. But if I can just drive through my head all those amazing wonderful thoughts of what a woman can do in my life. I will not care about any of the rejections. In a sense I have the mindset of the Soviets during World War II. Yes I may get beaten of the field many times, but I will keep on advancing until victory.

Here is some REAL advice, that will be very usefull for you guys trying to pick up women in bars. I hope David will let me post it. I have deleted all names, sites etc as to where it comes from, so as not to "upset" the Wygant business model. I thought it usefull enough to take a chance and post. I get this blog by email. From; XXXXXXX - with a quick note about a question I get asked all the time. Guys are always asking me... how do I approach and open that super-hot, super-bitchy girl in the club who is shooting EVERYONE down??" Now, while this is certainly a valid question… (And while I've developed TONS of methods to get girls like this into bed…) I want to propose to you that you'd be better off asking a fundamentally DIFFERENT question. A question that is almost the exact OPPOSITE of the one I get all the time.. A question along the lines of: "Hey xxxx, How do I identify the 1…2…maybe 3 girls in the entire bar or club who are WAITING For me to approach them…want to talk to me…and are looking to leave with me TONIGHT?" You see, when you start asking questions like this - your brain begins to sort for ways of making things EASIER for yourself… You begin to work SMARTER instead of HARDER… And you get the results you want with less effort, less struggle, and less energy. Make sense? Cool. So let's look at a way to work smarter. When you walk into the bar, club, or whatever venue it is you're going to be running your game in, you want to immediately scan the room. Make a mental note of where all the groups of girls are positioned and within those groups, how the girls are behaving. Most girls will be ignoring most of what's going on around them - directly facing their friends, engaged in conversation…. But some girls will be doing the opposite. They'll be listening to their friends…but faced ever-so-slightly away from them towards the entrance of the venue, while they attempt to covertly "scan" for new people to talk to. THESE are the girls who are overwhelmingly OPEN to meeting new people…and moving quickly, once they do. When you see this girl (or these GIRLS)…it's your invitation to approach. Don't worry about forcing IOI's, don't spend 30 minutes setting up the perfect approach…. Just go for it. Open using one of the methods I've taught you in the past… And chances are VERY high that you'll be IN. Make sense? Now, I'm NOT telling you to not go for the 'hard to get' girls.. I'm simply telling you that there is TONS of low-hanging fruit - chicks who are HOT and WANT to meet new people - you've just got to know what to look for. When you can do this, you spend less time working through the "mission impossible" sets…and more time back at your place with super cute girls. And that's what you're really in the game for, right? Coach deleted for sensoring purposes by Wygant IN)

David, This blog could not have come at a better time for myself. I am in the process of discovering, challenging and eliminating all my excuses. This all began for me on Monday when I shook my life up by starting a new job in Boston. Having been a small suburban town resident that has spent his whole life (for the most part) without even venturing far beyond the town line, everything is new to me. Im learning lessons from pigeons, the bus rides, the train stops, the sights, sounds and smells. But especially the pigeons! On my ride in today waiting for the bus, listening to your self love audio for the second time, I was watching the pigeons. In the city some of them are so fat that they can barely get off the ground it's hilarious! I noticed one of them that looked really different from the others, most pigeons are grey so this one that was white with specks of grey really stuck out like a sore thumb. It made me think about the way I felt I looked walking around town as a young man in a suit and a fedora like some old hollywood gangster. I was expecting someone to poke fun at me, anybody, and yet it has not happened. Anyway, this one pigeon not only looked different, but was acting a lot bolder than some of the others, walking through traffic and everything. And then it flew over to where someone was throwing bread, and a bunch of normal looking pigeons were already over there. He just mixed right in there, none of the other pigeons seemed to give a damn that he looked completely different. And thats when it clicked, and I understood why nobody had made fun of me for dressing the way that I did. Because I have accepted that I feel comfortable dressed this way, other people recognize that I am just another person, and don't really care that I look different. Mindset really is everything. Just the other day I was being observant while waiting for the train. A woman about my age was walking by and I saw her glance at the train schedule. As soon as she looked towards me I smiled and said "It's not too long of a wait". She smiled back, said "yeah it's not too bad," and from there she proceded to sit down next to me and prod me with a few questions. I decided not to take it further because I am still working on my confidence and my observations. But that was definitely my win for the day, I talked to a woman naturally without fear for a good minute. Today I talked to another woman, granted I was being a mr-fix-it since she asked someone else if such and such a train was coming by and I am learning the schedule pretty fast. My next challenge is tomorrow evening, I am going to invite all my coworkers to join me in Chinatown for Karaoke on Friday night. And if they all say no thanks, I'm goin solo, with no regrets. Man, everytime I write a comment on here it tends to run long. Thanks to anyone who took the time to read the ramblings of a Teacup Gentleman. Sincerely, ~~Roy

Thank you David for your reply with the podcast. We constantly need to reevaluate our responses, techniques, and methods to allow for a paradigm shift to happen. If we do not allow a change of "mind set" at least temporarily---how will we ever grow??Listen to what David has to say ---you fools!!!!

This is awesome!!!! You got it. You got it just right. People can feel it when you don't think great thoughts about yourself. Gosh, I've got to change my old, past, belief system that doesn't serve me anymore. Thanks. I needed to hear this tonight. Love it.

Dear David (and fellow bloggers), I wholeheartedly agree with you about your concepts on mindset, and how our thoughts become our reality. Also that people can feel the 'vibe' around us, so their response/reactions to us are in direct proportion to how we feel about ourselves. If you really want it, go for it! However...what happens when you're so fed up with the bullshit that you keep encountering from the Lames? What happens when a combination of heartbreak (a failed engagement last year; yes, I'm over him!), life in a small town, a full class load, and not many desirable men in your area make you not want to try anymore? I am 'doing me', moving forward in all aspects, and growing in self love, self confidence and education every day. I am at a point in my life where I know what I will and WILL NOT tolerate from a man! And I won't settle for less than I deserve. No more of that shit! I am proud of myself that I now stand my ground, see the handwriting on the wall when it's there (in the negative sense), and trust my intuition. But I've all but given up on finding love; deep down I still want and desire it, but it doesn't seem worth the effort anymore. When you're up against so much ego, objectification, lust and disrespect, is it better to go it alone? I don't know anymore. And I'm a die-hard romantic, passionate, loving type. I want to kill that off in me so I can survive this craziness. Dating has become so cumbersome. When did boys stop being men? And girls stop being ladies? When did we lose our way to love? Or at least a modicum of mutual respect, honesty, and consideration? There are SO many gameplayers, on both sides...I know from having more male friends than female that it's bad all around, no matter what gender/orientation/background you come from. How do I kill off my Inner Romantic? It seems easier than trying to keep the fading flame of desire for a real connection alive. Your Move... Dez

Bob Great so a guy with approach anxiety is going to have the balls to walk over and use of the canned apporaches that he learned from this guru. The guy lacks conversation skills and follow up as well. This is why this email you posted has holes. Stick to riding horses and buying real estate. You do not know what it feels like to be one of us. And that was some good ad copy as well......I am a copywriter in the real estate industry so you and I have some things in common.

So great. Hearing you is like hearing my father, who passed away when I was 10 (I'm 18 now). Right now I feel that I can be like him. I want to. All the time I see people suddenly give me a lot a of respect when they know I'm his son. "Oh my god, are you his son? Your father was like a brother to me...". How could him be brother of everyone? I want people to say the same thing to my son, so he will know the way to be a real man: just follow my steps. I think I realized what to do for now (just as I was writing). Wake up. I'm my dad's son. Thank you, hope you enjoyed my funny english. Thiago, Brazil.

@Tom, I believe David Wygant stopped responding to your rants is because the solution to "cockblocking" is easy. You take the hit like a man, laugh it off, and continue your attempt later on. For all you know she could have been laughing because that guy made a joke and not necessarily at you. But this info is garbage because you gave up and stopped pursuing her after you stumbled a little. Why doesn't David release videos of him getting rejected?... What would be the point in that? I can tell you what the video would entail: David gets rejected, looks at the camera like he normally does, explains what he learned from the experience, and continues on with his day without being hung up by the experience - yes, it's really that simple. Hope that helps

Tom... Are you in a truly loving relationship? If the answer is no, then the reality is that every woman you connect with is as much into the act as you and you are simply playing on a stage and never truly loving. Its all a well acted fantasy. Oh, they see and feel your energy without question and they choose to get right in there on the stage with you. The woman that wants to be truly loved and truly seen. I doubt you have met her and if you have, you wouldn't know it, because you are to busy acting. This is clearly your choice and works for you for what you want right now. When you are ready to truly go deep and meet someone where you can step outside of your ego, then you're going to need to change your game. Actually, then it is game over.

@John i Think looks are important in a self care way. Not all of us look like Brad Pitt, but we all can take care of ourselves like him by doing some gym, taking a bit of diet, some tanning sessions...etc. The only thing we can improve or change about our looks is to maximize it. and a good fit look should go well with any women. But: -If looks were crucial in dating then how did Mick Jagger became one of the icons of counter culture in the last century? not to mention his infinite romantic involvements... -How come the perfect faced/ perfect body professional strippers are being described as 'uncomfortable', or 'repulsive' by many women?

Okay. I lurk. And today I'll post. Your comment resonates with me. It is all about mindset. I agree. I read all your posts - and listen to your podcasts, because I love your 'no bull' attitude ... Yesterday's post really touched me - the one about stop bitching about being single. and you know what - you're right! there are no guarantees that being in a relationship is fantastic. sometimes it can be the loneliest place in the world! you absolutely MUST enjoy living alone and being single before you can be ready to get into a relationship. Sometimes comments sections in blogs are a dark and dreary and bottom-feeder place (read some of the comments after videos in YouTube. Scary and sad)... but comments here allows me to see how the other half thinks - you men out there - about relationships and meeting women. thanks Dave!

Hey all. For me it is not my excuses that are holding my back. It is my frustration that is. I put in a lot of work into my “game” then after a month or two I get frustrated because I have not meet the girls that I a absolutely crazy about. I keep doing this over and over. I am not a slave to my dick, but a slave to my heart. I have just worked this out. So I have been work on just putting myself out there and not wanting something back.

I give up. this blog is full of "DRONES" from the wygant school of student blank minds. You have no sense of independence, no imaginations, no openess to new ideas, or minds of your own. Fuck it. Go on about your lives, and live one failure after another. I tried to help, no one has enough sense to even acknowledge that maybe differing viewpoints would be worth investigating... A bunch of zombies following each other like worker bees in a hive. Y'all have a good life chasing your dreams,failing one time after nother, risking nothing, gaining nothing, instead of actually embracing new ideas, taking risks, and making something fucking happen in your lives. No more Bob bashing... I'm done! I ahve already done what you all wish to do, and was trying to help you attain your goals, as I did. All I got was BS anb hatred. Yeah you can all celebrate!

@ Matthew, I want to say kudos to you for leading with your heart, not your manhood. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time 'clicking' with the ladies that you're meeting. Also, you helped remind me of something important - it's vital to just 'be in the moment' and not have expectations when you're interacting with someone new. I too am a slave to my heart, though I am fighting an increasing wave of cynicism. I think I need to keep focusing on myself and how I can improve, enjoy flirting and casual conversations, and let go of when my fortune in love will change. It will find its way to me; I need to change my 'vibe' to one of receiving, being open and loving, and not fearing scarcity of good guys who I would be compatible with. And not become a man hater somehow in the interim!! Like sending a boomerang into the Universe, and stepping back so it can return on its own course. Thank you, and thanks, David! Pet Daphne the Dog for me! I love how you always walk with her on the beach...makes me miss my time in LA/Venice Beach. Lots of Hope for Love for Us All, Dez

Bob I have studied under quite a few guys. I started with the Mystery method and went onto David D and Gambler. LIke many other people on this blog I am sure they all did the same. Go to another gurus blog and you will find them loyal to the guy who they feel is best suited to there needs at the moment. I was really loyal to Mystery years ago and now I found Davids style and teaching better suited to who I am as a man. So why get frustrated. People here are on path and we have chosen the person to help guide us. It is all about choice and we are not infants. You can help guys here but your help is not pointing them in a direction that they have been, why not share your stories, your experiences. Your what 55 or so? I am sure i can learn a ton from you and it would be nice to hear how you walk over to women and relate to them. You seem to always want to pull people away from here and most people I am sure have been most of the places you want to push them and they found what works best for them. Honor that space and share Bob wisdom. I enjoy reading your posts when you are real and not in bash mode.

Desiree, Your post really got to me. I've told myself those exact words before too. I remember wanting so badly to kill the romantic in me. I didn't want to want anyone else. I didn't see the point. Everyone I'd meet was just another potential disappointment or hurt. It was the worst. Anytime I met someone I'd wait for them to show how rotten they were. I was never disappointed. The desire to kill my inner romantic, my heart, came from my ego. It was an excuse to keep me safe and away from people. It's the same for you. You're ego is just trying to keep you "safe". You aren't safe, you're just alone. Instead of wanting to kill your romantic side I want you to feel all your romantic side. I want you to feel all those feelings. Instead of trying to kill the feelings away I want you to think of all the great men out there that are worthy of your love. Really think about the amount. There's so many! Then think about meeting them all. The idea here is to change your ego and your excuse. If you think there's an abundance of jerks out there you're going to find them. If you think there's an abundance of awesome guys out there... you'll find awesome guys.

Powerful. This podcast is basically the essence of everything. There's a time for really getting into the nuts and bolts of things, that's essential in my opinion. But there's also a time to just really simplify things. Being truly flexible in your thinking and feeling is a great gift of freedom life and reality allows for you, enjoy it. Sometimes no matter what's wrong with you, physical imperfections that don't look very nice or mental health issues, your past, isolation etc. - once you've dealt with the nuts and bolts of it all and worked through it, at some point you've just got to get over yourself and really start contributing the best energy you can for other people. Once you can see past yourself and your limitations you are slowly starting to wake up. Another thing I want to add is that in my recent experience I've been hanging out with different girls more often...and something I never noticed so much before but is starting to dawn on me now as I approach 30 years old is that banter wise, most of the girls I've been hanging with leave me for dead. I can't keep up, and I'm realising now it's something I need to work at. I can think of 6 girls I know right now off the the top of my head, who are much better at conversation than I am, especially taking the piss and having a laugh. I listened to two of my girl friends talking the other night and it was the best part of the night - the part where I wasn't talking. In general I think girls are so much cooler than guys, smarter, wittier, funnier, more relaxed, and I think the main challenge for me is just getting up to their level...cuz they're generally a lot more light hearted and less attached than I tend to be. It could be in society that guys and their 'mummy please wipe me' bad vibes just wear most girls down over time and leave them bitter and frustrated and frankly bored. A lot of guys are actually pretty serious and heavy and very insecure and it must drive women mad. So guys are the problem. Just a latest theory that obviously is a generalisation, but there's definitely a bit of truth to it. Douglas

Bob the Builder! I thought you said your ego was so big you didn't care what anyone said??? Why are you so upset about people who disagree with you and point out your mistakes? hmmm?

Bob, I agreed with a lot of the points you made in the two blog previous. That ad copy you posted, though, was a little underwhelming. It basically just tells guys to not go for the high sets and settle for the girls that they can take home. Now, just going by the proposition that some ugly, short fat guy has to go with what his cards dealt.... that doesn't really tell him much. First, it tells him to settle. Second, if he's fat, short ugly then he's going to be scanning all night. Also, the ad copy doesn't really give any specifics about approaching. Anybody can settle for what they can get anyway...that doesn't really tell them anything. I think many are clinging on to hope that they can do better. Perhaps, you've seen material that better illustrates what you're talking about, but the ad copy that you put really didn't say much.

Well as I try to regain all the stuff I lost (waiting for my new credit card) when I was unable to find my wallet which I never done before...I feel pretty good. I agree with your "mindset" podcast. Beauty comes from within and if your not showing it, how can others relate to it? Who read the book, The Game by Neil Strauss? I did, he seemed to be a very lonely guy even when he mastered PUA material. Don't get me wrong, he felt great picking up all those women. At the height of his career in the PUA community, he was with 10 other gals at a bar which would impress many guys, but he had no interest in being in a relationship with any of them. What kind of teaching was that? Purely picking up women rather than connecting with women on a deeper level, that is the difference between natural and PUA. Funny part was, Neil fell for a woman who didn't buy the PUA stuff and she was the one who he eventually fell in love with! Strauss didn't realize that it wasn't scripted lines but what was coming from inside of him. You start worshiping scripted lines as the basis for your attraction, you'll end up being lonely like he was during the height of his career. So mindset is at the very core of what can make you successful in attracting women.

Neil is doing quite well for himself. I'm sure guys would love to have that luxury. He's so well known that I even bumped into some hot bar maid that once dated him. It's not a cure all.... he had to go on the journey. He chose not to have a relationship at that time...but that's the point...he had options...he had the choice. Now, that's quite impressive considering that most of us are half a foot taller. If he hadn't taken action, he wouldn't even have talked to any woman. And, all his training certainly did help land his current hot blonde 22 year old girlfriend. I"m sure both will tell you the lines didn't work on her. But, all that training of going out has helped his poise, ease with social situations and ability to carry on conversations. The scripted lines were just training wheels...his consistent practice going night after night, engaging in a myriad of social situations, noticing the obstacles and coming up with solutions is what really helped him.

This is absolutely correct. EVERYTHING becomes possible with BELIEF. Our beliefs about ourselves and the world in general determines what happens to us, and creates our circumstances. Whether you believe you CAN or you CANT'T, you are RIGHT!!

I like the podcast a lot. I have some confessions to make and I dont have anywhere else I feel I can gorge it out but here. I struggled to attain my independence but I still feel like I am essentially a nobody. My life has been revolving around bettering myself, so I hold a full time job and am currently attending college. I pay all the bills as well as paying for my college and my car with loans. Even tho I have done all of these things I still feel empty because I feel like I am still a nobody. I am in my third year at college and still havent figured out if I really want the major I chose, mostly because I think its nerdy (electrical engineering) and makes people look at me like a nerd rather than a f****** human being. I play a lot of poker but I havent been able to get into many hobbies and I feel like that makes me boring. And whenever I try talking to girls my age I cant connect with any of them because I feel Im so god damn different than them! Ill talk to a girl and try to ask questions to start conversation only for them to respond and endure a five minute awkward conversation because I have no f****** idea on how to interest them. My roomate has this magical charisma about him that gets him around and it pisses me off because I feel like my personality is a piece of f****** cardboard compared to his. Im not a big fan of my negativity (and im actually not a virgin) but tbh how can women and girls in general like me for me if the real me is pretty much boring, uninteresting, and essentially kind of awkward? My feelings have been vented and I seek answers

The last thing is... well I hate to say it but my height doesnt help either. Im pretty short standing at 5'6". Dave I know you say dont think about it but its really hard not to when like the guy above says my comrades are generally a half a foot taller. I know I shouldnt be thinking this way but I cant get over it even when I try. It bugs the hell out of me and honestly makes me want to do the quick solution of the risky limb surgery just so I dont even have to address it

Hey david yesterday I woke up feeling as good looking as Don Draper in Mad Men and it really showed during the day. I just wanna tell u guys that David is absolutly right you are who u think u are, and the key is to try and better yourself everyday. This is what I have been doing for the past two months, and although not everyday will be mindblowing and there have been a few setbacks, I just keep telling myself that it ok to fail. This is bevause failure is the key to success. Hope the rest of u guys are doing well and I want to thank u David for your help continuing help to myself and others in this life journey! Cody

I just read through the blogs and found some really insightful stuff. Dave, the only thing I probably need to deal with are what you call "the secret excuses". Honestly, how can I think positively if "the secret excuses" are legitimate? More importantly, can I really address them to the point where they have no effect on my dating life? And this will sound horrible, but I think anyone who tries saying that not having natural charisma and being short has no effect is totally bullshitting

Great subject. The way it seems to me now is that there are forces I can control and there are forces I can't control. I grew up around a woman that used to say stuff like "gee, I wish you were good-looking" to me. I didn't know if she was serious, or drunk, or whatever. But this much is definitely true...when I took on that view of myself internally my social life sucked. Not only couldn't I engage with the world with that belief, I thoroughly distrusted anyone who would try to cross the great divide to try to get to know me. Basically the only thing I can do every new day is go out, look people in the eye, smile and say hello. I have no idea how things are going to turn out in the future. But I suspect that doing my best to remain present in any situation I'm in is kind of a key to the universe. In the past, I even dated some spectacular women and there would always come a point where I'd dive into this 'i'm not worthy, i don't see what this woman sees in me' realm and it would end up ruining the relationship. Several times it was pointed out that thinking that way was actually insulting to whoever was trying to get closer to me because if they didn't want to be with me they wouldn't put the time into it. Self-destruction is a powerful force. I guess today I try to be friendly and engaging with the world the best I can. Am I in relationship? No. Would I like to be? I'm not sure. Am I able to talk to people no matter what thoughts are going through my mind?...sure, I'm thankful I'm not judged by the world for my thoughts some days. Thanks for teaching what you teach, David. And thanks for being open to a bit of ranting here....it's what makes you an amazing coach and teacher I think. All best.

David, you have an intensely commanding voice and it told me to post so I will. You are a boss, and I love this blog!

For seven years I had waited on this one guy and yes he was married...for seven years he had placed me on his waiting list...no there were no affairs...how come is it when i turn around i am finding these married men who want to do nothing but say hey babe give me time to get through this when it does nothing but take up a single persons time...what do i look like section eight housing and they say hey sorry but the houses are full and i have to put you on a waiting list...so i just got tired of it and realized somethings it is time to move on...but i can not get out of my head the things i saw and the things he said to me....now i am looking for singles online and trying to find single clubs...one time he said that when he is over this he will come to me...yeah right that could take forever...now there is this guy on the internet in the same situation and i feel like he wants to put me on the waiting list for baby wannabees...i am tired of this i want someone who does not look at me like i am a waiting list and i have the impression that all married men are liars waiting to put the girl he wants on the waiting list in which he may turn back the other way...it is time to move on and i will need to take it one day at a time...thanks dave for listening...

Betcha wanna see this booty bounce,,, uh,uh, booty bounce..

rectify the statement we did not have an affair...but he turned out to be a philanderer...that is what has happened and it seems like it has taken over my mind like i can not see the hand in front of me...actually i think i need help....thanks dave sorry about the second comment needed to clear that one up...two negatives in a sentence make positive...did not want any misunderstandings...

Wow David - Right On with this Podcast. Thanks.

@Intern Dan, Thank you for your statement! But I will say that after reading it, I realized that I'm just not ready to put myself out there...yet. I'm pretty busy working on myself, and though it sounds like just another excuse, I really don't have much time to devote right now to dating at present anyway. I also have learned that there are worse things than being alone, i.e. being in a bad relationship. But there is a third option, and I need to keep hope for it alive somehow:having a great relationship with a man who is totally worthy of my good love, consideration, loyalty and passion. It's just saddening to see what we women settle for, and that's why guys (such as married men) continue to put themselves out there for things they don't really deserve! In their case, I think they're greedy and selfish! They have been shown that women will sleep with them despite being married, so they cheat because they can! We teach people how to treat us. If women were smart, they wouldn't give these guys any ass, or the time of day! So they'd have to man up and either get a divorce, or try and mend things with their wives. Guys who don't mean women well do crazy things like PUA shit or juggling multiple women because we let them! Make him earn your hand, and "the cookie" before you give him the keys to the bakery!! This is where women need to get smart and use our heads first, then our hearts, while still being feminine and open. Silk over steel...something I have yet to master myself though! I just rebel now against the prospect of being hurt again by 'cocooning' myself away. But rest assured, the Butterfly WILL emerge victorious when she's ready to fly. Dez P.S. I think it was Roy who gave such a great reminder for us to be true to ourselves! I dig guys who have such a unique style like yourself...So classy; hearkens back to a lost era! Keep rocking those fedoras and suits, love!

@desiree,, I have a question for you. ,, What exactly is "pua shit", and how do they not mean women well? (i know what PUA stands for,, I just want to know what PUA shit entails.)

Third comment for the day before i go to work...there is this other philanderer that comes in where i work looking for another woman to put on his waiting lists...I have one question where do these men come from and how do i attract them...I am fed up with it...I searched some of the singles sites and they say separated or divorce pending...i am thinking instantly another one of those who are seeking women to put on that wannabe baby list...I want a man that will love me and i will love in return i am not looking for a long term relationship just someone to hang around with and be a friend...i have been jilted too many times to be someones wannabe baby and i deserve better...

Great podcast but in my opinion it is not as simple as be positive or negative, right or wrong. You attract what you are not what you want. You cannot hide who you are in relationships at least not for very long no matter how great an actor you are. It is not wrong to be unhappy just know that if you are that is what you will attract. People don't care much how you look just as long as you do your best with what you have, that's a turn-on. Thanks! No fuck yous come to mind.

@sandra hutchins,, it sounds to me like you are only seeking out married men. I have known many women who will not date any man unless he is married to another woman. (I'm sure you guys know that lots of single guys put on a wedding ring before they go out so women will hit on them.) I'm just wondering,, what is wrong with a single man? There are plenty of us out there. And what website are you looking for someone on, Ashley Madison?

Interesting, just these four days, I have been trying to do similar. Although, it ended like I'm positive and so on for a half a day and the rest so tired then just can't be anymore. However, today, I spend the half day thinking whether I am being positive or not. Well another pitfall for overthinking. In your podcast, I just realized that I don't truly believe that I deserve to be happy. Well, off to change it. Man, and it feels weird posting a comment.

Even the BEST actor cannot be acting ALL the time. Smart women will test you over and over again to see whether you are the real deal. I was angry and sad most of my life, but I found that it is a lot easier to get girls when I let go of my baggage and become a happier person. Regarding the notion of being someone's type....my experience is that women are emotional creatures and if you can spike their emotions, they often times change their minds. Ever heard of buying on impulse? I know this because I am a professional sales guy. People buy on emotional needs first then justify it with logic. But yes, looks and lifestyle do matter, a lot.

David is RIGHT. I have no affiliation with him or his organization so I am not endorsing him out of personal gains. Your thoughts came from your core believes, your believes comes out in your actions and words AND FACIAL EXPRESSIONS. Yes, it shows on your face if you are burdened and your posture also change. I know it when I am having a great day, every woman I meet I get the number and I get the date.

Davids voice is so powerful and strong. It is the voice that woman crave and desire. I masturbated to this podcast. Hows that for a confession on ranting and RAVING :)

Hold on Rick,, how can you say in the first post that "yes, looks and lifestyle do matter, a lot",, and in the very next sentence, say, "David is right.". David says that looks is just an excuse, and don't matter, and you say looks matter a lot. You can't have it both ways!.

Desiree, it's great to take the time you need to grow. So many people don't do that and jump from relationship to relationship. Enjoy the single life and don't worry about men! They'll be there when you're ready! Jon, when I read your posts all I see is monkey chatter! You're too short, your interests aren't interesting enough, you're too nerdy... and you think they're "legitimate" reasons for you to be unhappy. They aren't! Don't worry so much about what others think and just do what you want. If you like playing poker than play poker! If you like electrical engineering then do it. The happiness you get from these things will spill over into other areas of your life and you'll be attractive.

@John. LoL, of course I can have it both ways, I learned this from women ;) Look, if your looks and lifestyle is uncomfortable for YOU. If you are not comfortable in your own skin, with your own life. Then it's going to matter in your results. If you are comfortable with your looks, your life and you don't give a shit about being validated by others, then it won't matter. For most guys it is an excuse. I was like that myself.

I just wanted to say BRILLIANT podcast, David! I really enjoyed it. :)

Dear Intern Dan, Thank you for your insight. Yes, I agree that there is definitely a freedom in being single that I enjoy. No pressures, no having to accommodate someone else in my plans for my life or my future as I carve out my own little 'piece of sky'. I'm not really wanting it right now, but I will know when I am ready. @John, When I say PUA shit, I mean the cheesy, transparent tactics men use to pick up women. We see through that crap (if you are trying to approach a woman of substance, character and intelligence!), and it's just annoying. Also I avoid married or taken men; that's always a losing proposition. I love David's laid back approach to making things fun and interesting in engaging women in conversation. I have watched a bunch of his video clips on YouTube that back this up. When I was actively seeking a relationship, I would have really enjoyed a man approaching me THAT way! Also, I think a lot of men just want what they want, with no consideration to the woman or how the end result will make her feel. This is what I mean by saying that most men don't seem to mean us well. But again, that's why we women need to be far more discerning about what we want, and what we don't! And in avoiding what we don't, taking the time to really observe what a man is saying, what it really means, and how he is saying it. Usually people give themselves away before too long, if you take the time to get to know each other as friends first. Don't be rushed or pressured into more than that too soon. When a woman loves, it's a powerful thing, and when we're hurt, we often harden our hearts and rebel. That's where I am now. That's also why, in my opinion, more women have given up on having something real and become players/cheaters/golddiggers, etc. I've grown quite tired of men dangling the carrot of love and marriage over my head, only to snatch it away when it came time to lay down the foundation, do the work and make it real. But the one constant in our relationships (and our lives is...)ourselves!! So we ALL need to stand up, accept responsibility, make ourselves happy, loving and strong and THEN seek happiness with someone outside of ourselves. I think you need to make yourself happier and more positive, and then your energy will shift. And then, you will feel better in relationships/dating and attract better women. Plus, looks aren't everything. I care far more about who a man is, how he will talk to me and treat me and what he wants out of interacting with me than how he looks. Looks are a small factor compared to all of that. All women don't think the same way about that, or material things. I am working hard to get a career going so I can have what I need independent from a man. I can't stand golddiggers, and I'm a woman! Take that! @Jon the Engineering student - Honey,do you know how much I respect you for being brainy enough to undertake that profession!? And I don't know you from Adam! I could never major in that; math was and is my one bad subject. Embrace who you ARE...Intelligent, honest, sincere from the sound of things and working hard to make your life progress into what you want it to be. I too am in school, working hard and nearing the end of this program I'm in to become a Medical Assistant. And then, I'm going even further, finishing my Bachelor's and getting a degree as an RN. Any woman who's right for you will see your good virtues, your intelligence, and your kind nature and will love you for YOU! But first, you need to build up your confidence, like Intern Dan said. Enjoy activities you like to do and your mindset (and energy) will change. You won't feel like you're in the shadows, because you'll be emitting your own light! Women who share common interests will surface as you 'do your thing'. And if you work on your social skills in approaching them, it will become easier to talk to them and get dates. I know that it's more difficult for guys in a lot of respects. Women have better language and social skills overall. But it becomes easy to forget that sometimes in the light of 'players' and guys who put on a good game face of being confident, even if they're hurting on the inside. I sympathize with the good guys out there. It's tough on both sides nowadays.

Oh, and P.S. to John:I'm 5'2, and I love shorter guys. Just saying that to let you know that not all women demand a tall guy!

You still didn't say what tactics ARE. Just cheesy transparent tactics. How is initiating a conversation with your group, telling stories that show you are an interesting, fun guy, showing you are a fun guy by teasing, being transparent, and cheesy? Because some use a scripted opener. (honestly, isn't "hi, how's your day?", a scripted opener? It is if you already know you are going to say it.). How is any part of that disrespectful, or harmful to women? Now I'm not saying wear a fuzzy hat, and act like a freak show, and I have no aspiration to ever become a "pua". But I have to defend the tactics a little bit. Opening, telling stories, and playful banter is HOW YOU MEET PEOPLE. Nothing offensive there, right?

lol seth "i have studied under quiet a few guys" lol

I just did a very non-scientific experiment while at the grocery store. One set of isles I walked down I stayed in my head, didn't smile, looked like I was bored. Not one person smiled or attempted to interact with me. On the other half of the store I was smiling, full of energy, bouncing off the walls, and guess what - EVERY woman smiled at me. Some were ones I had seen earlier in the store. Now tell me positive energy doesn't attract....

Nick,love it!!!!

Great podcast, agreed with a lot of things here. It's not easy but head up and don't give up.

hello David i agree with you 100%. it really is all about your mindset. When i have a positive mindset, that day i will encounter tons of women and have great connections with them (these past few days have been great). when i'm negative the opposite happens. Case and point: a few weeks ago, i walked into my local mall, and standing at the entrance was a hott girl - normally i would remember your advice i.e observe, approach, proceed out of the opener - this day i was so down that i walked passed her twice and did not say a damn thing - i cannot tell you how shitty i felt. when you are working hard everyday to improve yourself and miss a great opportunity to meet someone, it really sucks. i guess we have to take responsibility for our thoughts and emotions as they are "Our" thoughts and emotions. it is difficult, but no one said that it was going to be easy anyway - if it where, i would not be oommenting now, rather i'd be on a date with that girl from the mall. okay now that i have vented - i can move foward. Kind Regards Nishan Singh

David great post, :D and great advice. Tom I keep seeing your post .....*Joker* over and over ..I read a few of them and I am sorry that other peoples comments and actions bother you that much. Ether fight back in a respectful way or ride the insult and turn it around on them. Here's and EXAMPLE: Me and my friend met a beautiful Latin girl one night. She walks by us and I just give her a smile and a short Hi' then continue walking. My buddy goes after her.....So he ends up talking to he and the both of us walk her to her car. I keep quiet, because there was nothing for me to say....until she mentioned art. I waited for a break in the conversation **Which wasn't hard to do because my buddy wouldn't shut the fuck up LOL*** Then I turned, looked directly at her, and spoke about art. **TOM** my friend walked in front of me and stood there, then started talking about art and said "Yea....Jon is good at art but he wont make any money from it...Cuz i am his ride here." WE ALL LAUGHED, Then I said "Yea...it's nice having a chauffeur." Then continued talking to her about art. He stepped in front of me AGHAIN and this time totally changed the subject. :/ SO, I waited and before we told her goodbye he ask for her number....She told him NO. Now, because I was listening, I asked her to go to the theater. (She likes community activities and art performances.) She said yes, I got invited to her Zumba class for free and she gave me her personal, number on her business card. I grew up in the Bahamas (New Providence) and the people there are naturally degrading to others....for the way you Talk, Walk, Sit, Clothes you wear, keeping yourself nice, skin color **(And we all black ..Figure that one out -__- )**food you eat LOL the list goes on and on and on LOL Tom just become more comfortable with yourself and you will EMBRACE the COCK-BLOCKING lol "Cuz you know they aint got Shit on you ;P"

@john thanks for ur comment...in some ways u were right i did waste my time being on his wannabe baby waiting list...but it is time to move on there is more to this story than i am telling but to respect those involved i had rather keep it off the internet...there are married men that like to flirt but i turn my head and say to them hey go home and take care of ur wife...or bust their bubble and say how is wifee fifee... today i studied on what dave said and put it to use and now i am ready to see single guys and break this pattern that i had set forth...oh john today is a turning point and i intend on seeing guys...thanks again...

john...that are single...

@sandra hutchens,,, good for you. :) . ,, I hope you find a great SINGLE guy,, there are plenty of them. Best of luck to you.

"I read all your comments every single day." Please send me an email acknowledging that you read this. I'm calling you out :)

ur welcome john it has been awhile since i have been on the blog...kind of slipping in my relationship techniques...thanks

In ancient Aramaic the word "Bashert" means intended. If I could influence the ancients, I'd tell them to simplify, and just call it "A Good Fit." How many of us, reading this, wouldn't find it a nice surprise to suddenly recognize that we're home? Man, Woman, Child, Young or Old, we all long for home. But home is not bricks and mortar (or aluminum siding, or sheet rock), rather it is that connection that we recognize, that rhythm that we resonate to, that sense of our authentic self being in tune with someone or something else. Anyone who has ever experienced a love like that knows what I'm describing. Anyone who has known it, and lost it, knows it even more keenly. People need each other. Love exists inside us but also fundamentally, between us. Love is a power. Now that sounds like a cliche; and often it is, but love is also an experience. Like hunger. We all recognize that experience. We know it. Love too can go beyond ideas. Love can be present between strangers. It has force, heft, weight and efficacy. It doesn't require, necessarily, deep personal intimacy. Love often effects people deep below the surface, in a powerful and quiet way that does not show, and we often do not observe it. But love ripples out, its influence exerting power to change peoples' choices, behavior and many other things about their lives and communities. Whether love flows from god, or if there is some force in the universe that brings it into our lives, I don't know. But I do know that I have the power of love inside of me. You have it in you. It has more power than our logic, and reaches people more directly then our words. We get taught to read and write, and, if we're lucky, to problem solve ... but how to manifest the energy of love is barely taught ... Love begets love. I say that having experienced it (and not simply in romance, which is currently the most acceptable way to explain love in modern culture), and not from a place of looking through rose colored glasses, or with stardust in my eyes. Love empowers people to take action, and action creates the world. Love startles us into becoming ... becoming more real ... more free. Lying still next to another, feeling their breathing ... has a power ... a gentleness that moves us ... and when the magnetism of bashert (what John O'Donohue called Anam Cara) pulls us toward the essence of the one we love, then that love becomes sacred. Bashert is a portal, a reminder. It is that real and grounded relationship to what we truly love that calls us to remember the door we can always walk through into the full power and authenticity our lives can offer. Bashert sheds austentation and affectation like dross, and pierces our hearts with simple beauty and truth. I love this. I love her. Just to feel her breathe ... Finally, Bashert reminds us to surrender ... to surrender to the true strength in us ... ... our love.

@John, Let me say that there is nothing wrong with how Dave shows you men how to approach us women. An example of a disrespectful, or cheesy pick up line would be something like, "Damn baby, you got a fat ass!" (Yes, this has been said to me!) Or, "Hey girl, I'm like milk; I'll do your body good!" I can see the humor in the second one, but it's a little too forward to be a gentlemanly approach. Worse things have been said to me as well, or within earshot when he didn't think I was listening. You DON'T want to be 'that guy'!! Witty banter, observing something you can connect with to approach woman and have an opener, and a sweet, sincere compliment are all great ways to strike up a conversation with a lady. Men need to remember the importance of acting like...men! Not little boys, or dogs with their penises practically hanging out, pleading to be stroked. Treat me like a lady, or I will show you my strength and you will get your feelings hurt! Also, please DO NOT risk your health with limb surgery! I didn't even know this existed in real life..Reminds me of the movie Gattaca where Ethan Hawke's character has to undergo a procedure like that to become taller, to appear genetically superior enough to sneak into his dream job. The beautiful thing about all of us is that there is no other like us! Out of all the millions of people in the world, you are unique, special, and irreplaceable!! So love yourself as you are, work on what you can and/or need to, and leave the rest behind. "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Dr.Seuss Dez

@Nathan, What a beautiful posting! You hit the nail on the head!! This is, or should be, what we all strive to feel, to attain, within oursleves while loving another. Thanks for the explanation of Bashert. I love to learn about concepts such as this. Namaste. Dez

Great podcast, David. I have doubts, and things that I am not sure how to work out eg how to date when I currently have full custody of three kids aged 5 - 10? When is it okay to introduce kids to someone that I am dating? How to handle the children's Dad acting like a total tool at times? He is basically a good person but there are a couple of issues there. These are the things that sit in the back of my mind... I believe in myself, though. It's working out strategies for dealing with the rest... Leanne

True that Dave,I always complain that Im broke as a joke n shit but if i was thinkin right I would look at the bright side and say i can get my fat ass on a treadmill and just get my looks up know what im sayin?

Hi David, I program my mindset to doing it and meetup with women; and once I'm there my sporadic up-beat mindset disappeared. I couldn't find that mindset anywhere. I was looking for place to hide. What to do now??

Nice one, David. Thanks, this podcast really opened up a door in my mind

@Tom Do not feel all alone when I first came to David's blog about a year ago I had to put with several people on it... Now those of u after Tom...look at yourselves in the mirror before judging anyone...Tom is reaching out for help all we can do is pray for him...Maybe one day we do not want to read that something terrible has happened to him...it is only his self release...Tom hang in there and stop beating yourself up...you have family and friends that love u...one person most of all our Lord Jesus...

@desiree ,, "cheesy pick up line would be something like, “Damn baby, you got a fat ass!” (Yes, this has been said to me!) Or, “Hey girl, I’m like milk; I’ll do your body good!” <-- has nothing to do with PUA tactics. "Witty banter, observing something you can connect with to approach woman and have an opener, and a sweet, sincere compliment are all great ways to strike up a conversation with a lady." <--- is the BASIS for the majority of PUA methods. See, That is what I was getting at. Most women who critisize "PUA methods", really don't know exactly what PUA methods are. Now, again, I'm not saying become a pick up artist, (I think referring to yourself as a PUA is really dumb anyway.), but the tactics that are taught are the correct way to meet people. The only difference I see between Wygant method, and others, is that Wygant doesn't like scripted material. Lots of guys use it. (Collin said he often approaches with "Do you think Daniel Tosh is Gay?", that is a scripted opener.) I say guys should use whatever you are comfortable with.

Jim ur funny...do u know i get that way sometimes and wonder what is up with this picture?

@John, That's why I addressed what I consider to be fine methods for picking up women. I wasn't contradicting you on that, exactly. I just mean the degrading, disrespectful and sexist comments that sometimes have been hurled my way are bad. And yes, they have nothing to do with real PUA methods. I said that I'm totally cool with being approached in the manner in which David prescribes. So calm down and don't be so quick to criticize me. I know my responses are long here, but I don't want to be misunderstood and I wish to be clear. Thanks for reading... Dez

@Tom, I was struck by something when I was reading your responses the other day. I think you think so lowly of yourself, you are blinded by how you are creating and reinforcing your feelings of being ignored, cast down upon, rejected and isolated. Know that someone cares about you. Myself, the other people on this board and surely people in your family (not to mention The Creator) all love and care about you to some extent (I mean depending on the relationship). I know how it can feel to be treated like you're invisible, but you aren't. You say you want someone else to care for you just because, and that's fine, except people usually mirror what you feel about yourself. So, don't expect positive change to happen unless you can start to treat yourself better, love yourself and do a self-inventory on what YOU like about you. Take a hard look at that, and then bring those qualities to the surface. Force yourself to look in the mirror and say "I love you." I'm DEAD serious here! I've done this, and it sounds crazy but it's helped me when I felt totally unloved after a breakup. Being in the NOW helps us to change it for the better and propel ourselves into a brighter future. Seek out a support group or counseling to help you address how you feel about yourself and why. Please don't go on living life this way. You're just going through the motions, and it can consume you if you don't find a way to stop this runaway train inside of you. And count your blessings! The clip about the Butterfly Circus and the young man with no limbs is a reminder that despite our challenges, someone else has even greater struggles and pains than ourselves. That includes me too! Sincerely, Nynee

i want to say one last thing before i leave to go to work...i have read some of the comments and i want to compliment you all...c we can blog and have fun it is not about who did what it is about having fun and getting to know one another...we each have enough drama in our lives to contend with but please let us respect the other persons lifestyles...anyway guys i do work in nashville and i was raised there and when u r raised in a town with a lot of tourist attractions it is okay but to me i do not pay any attention...anyway look me up and i may speak to u...

dave i need to change my picture on ur blog to an updated one can u find out how i do it so the people who i blog with will know what i look like i am tired of that avatar...need to change the scenery one of ur counselors told me how to do it...so i will not be giving away my face book account...

@desiree,, I'm not criticizing you. Many women think the same thing. They associate PUA methods with manipulation, and lude comments, and nothing could be further from the truth. (ok, some use terms like f-close, and rate women on a scale like hb-9, and crap. I don't agree with any of that.) There are some "methods" out there like "nlp", (I said once I was going to learn NLP, I was being sarcastic.),, that some guys get caught up in. But I think they eventually make their way here. I'm not pro PUA, or anti PUA,, I'm pro whatever works. If scripted material helps you meet people, then go for it. If you're a fast thinker, then being spontaneous, and in the moment is your best bet.

@sandra hutchens,, go to gravatar.com,, and log in. select upload a new image, and upload your picture. Click on the new image, and select the email address you use here, and follow the prompts. The new image will show up here in time. There is a delay. It will show up in a few minutes. I change my image all the time. (i kinda like the little cartoon. ,, it's cute.) Lol.

I love Davids stuff. I have found it tremendously useful in the past, and now don't particularly struggle any more with this sort of thing. (I've got an awesome girlfriend who I love too and im sure working at myself helped a lot there. and listening to Davids advice and implementing it is one of the ways I did that). I ahve a couple of friends who strugge around women and directing them to Davids stuff is one of the first things I do to help them. I think this podcast is bang on - just be careful not to let "Loving yourself", spill over to narcissism. :)

Wah Wah Wah. I have been working at changing my mind set for many years. I have made some progress and experienced ok results but not with the women I REALLY want... Da Da David, any suggestions on how to change the mindset? Excercises, books?

I have been lurking and reading davids site for almost 2 years now i stumbled apon it years ago when i was having trouble with girls.The site really helped me.I got out of reading the site for a while when i started to see he was charging for things i thought well now its going to turn into a pick up artist thing.Ocassionally i came back to site and check things out.Well today this blog really REALLY helped my mindset.About 3 months ago i lost my mother to cancer at 23 watching your mother die slowly is devastating and i have been in a bad depression since she was diagnosed.After she past i became angry,angry that someone so good could die a horrible death in her 40s yet these dirtbags out there everywhere still get to get to enjoy.But recently i started to remeber things my mother used to say like you have to visual what you want you have to think positive.Earlier today i was at the doctor was feeling 50/50 i stopped by home hardware on the way home and got some garbage bags there was a guy helping 2 others outside at the propane station as i walked past the tallest guy i wasnt feeling so good i felt short but he wasnt even very tall.But the whole time at the cash i was very nice to this young cute girl just cause my mind was elsewhere i didnt pick up all the hair flipping and hand touching.When i got into my car i looked in the rearview the guys were hitting on her and it didnt look as if it was going so well i then realized when i saw their old truck it was jealousy.New car,job and the pretty girl was smiling at me.She picked up on the jealousy,on the harrasment,on the desparation.David is totally right this is all in your mind reading this blog gave me such a good laugh because this happened today,and i decide to hop on the site for a read. thanks david.

David.. I hate to say this but for a lot of people who stumble on to you and other so called dating gurus to supposedly show them them the way are very lost souls for the most part are doomed unless they get professional help from a trained therapist and even then it is sometimes not effective and it seems that you are more after people just spending their money on your products that will only give these mentally challenged people false hope. I'm speaking from experience because I was diving into every product and wasting my money until I got fed up and attempted suicide. It was then that I realized that no self help e book will show me the way. I got professional help for 3 years and now I am stable enough and have a great girlfriend and am happy and this happened by me taking charge and changing myself from my core under a doctors supervision and not spending my rent money on the next revolution in pickup or high priced siminars so an already good looking man with his life together can put more money in his pocket than he needs. Please people, work on yourself first from the inside and then you can make an educated decision if this pua stuff is right for you.

@john - woohhh, so NLP is something guys practise to improve their communication and in order to get women? Gosh, I thought it was some technique managers and HR peeps were using as a new way to improve team work. Makes sense, I have noticed a guy who has been reading "the game" and "the mystery method - how to get attractive women into bed" is now a "Master Practitioner" in NLP... this is adding up... Maybe people need to stick with stop thinking and start living! ha ha :)

@John, I think it's good to get comfortable with all different kinds of conversation starters. I was at a roller skating social the other week and used almost purely observational openers. I've been at parties, church, etc. where "I don't think we've met yet. I'm Collin," got used ten times a night. I will only use something like, "Do you think Daniel Tosh is gay?" if it's actually interesting to me at the time and it's a party-like atmosphere. Generally, I hate clubs, and since I'm young and have well connected friends, it's easy to rely on meeting women through friends or friends of friends. You meet women in the day in public, so a scripted opener is going to be a lot less effective than an observational one. There's so much more to a conversation than the opener though, so worrying about how you start the conversation is really not that important. It's all in everything else you're doing while you start the conversation and what comes next. The eye contact, how you carry yourself, the "vibe" you're giving off, how you're dressed, etc., all overwhelm a lame opener like, "Hi, I'm John." Not only that, but if you can transition into stimulating conversation quickly, she'll forget that you weren't terribly original when you started talking to her. The last couple times I've been at bars though, I've found that women are approaching me more. Either women have magically discovered an appreciation for a man who drinks Glenfinich when he goes out, or I'm just becoming a lot more comfortable and open while I'm out.

*Glenfiddich Apparently I can't type today.

Let me vent out my frustration. I don't have any role model or any body who teach me how to relate to women. I grow in strict environment where expressing your emotion to somebody is consider weak. I learn about love n sex from watching movie and friends who have no fucking clue how to attract woman. Thanks to Internet I can get wisdom from guys like David who helped me to improve my dating life.

@collin ,,, I was just using your "daniel tosh" opener as an example. I remember you telling me you use that one.

@lynnie,, NLP is used by people in the "speed seduction" camp, run by Ross jefferies. I've never studied it, or cared to get into it. From what I understand, they basically try to hypnotize women into feeling attraction by using neuro linguistic programming, saying words that plant suggestions in a woman's mind. Whole thing sounds hokey to me. If you read the book "the game", it's brought up. Not something I would be interested in. It's all basically the opposite of what David Wygant teaches. He would know more about it. I think they know each other. I brought it up because it is the only "pua tactic" that I know of that is manipulative.

From what I have read it doesn't sound like Ross Jefferies likes women and I can see why so many men and women are confused about how to approach each other. Is being yourself not good enough? I fell for a guy because of the way he worked. I think you can learn a lot about a person the way they work. So professional, open, team player, mentor, made decisions, listened and would not crunch your idea, he would say "great effort or good idea or I like it, however I meant I wanted this..." a good guy with values! Speaking to him outside of work he started using all these "game" techniques, pretending not to see you and speak to the girl next to me, then when he did speak, mimicking what you are saying and put you down. I know this was not him but I had doubts. Now I see I should have maybe just played along and not taken it all too seriously? Relationships are tough!

Its just basic good advice,we could be starting riots and smoking crack.

@Lynnie, you should stared him square in the eye and said, "Really? You're gonna try that PUA shit on me? I thought you were a better man than that." Then just see what he says.

If you don't love yourself and have a good mindset towards life, then your life is shitty. The way you view the world is up to you. You see the the same thing everyone else sees, but it is up to you to determine what it means. Change the "lenses" in which you view life and start seeing the opportunities that you are given, not the hardships that you have to endure.

How do i feel? I feel fucking great man fucking great!!! Im tired of living in fear, im tired of being self concious all the time,im tired of thinkig im not good enough and im tired of letting all these oppertinities going away. I know i have so much to offer i just need to trust my self.Thankyou for this podcast it meant alot to me.

Jacob where have u been i often c u on my face book page...yes it is me sandra coming back to get some advice i have been slipping my relationships with guys and thought i would come back...but it seems like we have drama...well the only for me to deal with that is ignore it...luv u Jacob

Good words and points David! It reinforces what I am currently reading about silencing my inner critic and seizing the day with confidence and self esteem.

I want to change my mindset so badly, but what do you do when your confidence isn't there? I want to be confident, calm and collected, but I feel lost. I don't know what the heck I'm doing in most situations, especially when it comes to dealing with fear or women. I don't have the faintest idea of what I'm doing anymore. There was a time when I had confidence and no problem starting a convo with people, but its like I lost my mojo.. I don't know who I am anymore.. it sucks.

hi Jj i know exactly how feel. i have felt this way for the last 4 yrs. it was only til i heard about David Wygant and listened to his self love audio, that i got my mind right, This is the key: Getting your mind right. i do not want to sound like a David Wygant sales rep, but get the No excuses and self love audio series. it has helped me so much in terms of my confidence, i think i have listened to it over 50 times, and i learn something new everytime i listen to it. it is so damn easy now for me to talk to woman, because women can sense a man who radiates confidence and loves himself. the simplest method to use is self talk. everyday i repeat to myself that i am strong, powerful and confident over and over again. it doesnt matter whether you believe it or not - your brain reacts to every thought. Dr. Wayne Dyer says it best: "you are what you think"..... this is so true. i wish you all the best and hope you get your mojo back. there are tons of beautiful women out there waiting for you regards Nishan

Dear David, simply you are the best men who knows how to treat every time, Not only in dating life but also in our daily life....

blahhhhhhhh. ok its a bit late ( like 2 days late :P) but I need to get out a bunch of stuff. Lately I've been feeling down in the gutter depressed. I feel socially awkward and it is not fun. and i have been trying to work out of it. I'm kinda an insecure wreck right now even though i Act confident on the outside and act like i dont give a shit about what others think. the problem is i really do. I really dont have an excuse. seeing as halloween is coming up and im going to a in college AND I (for the first time in a long time) am going to a party. soo really excited that. (BTW ecuse the lack of organization to this blog post but this is how i natraully think and im just kind of regurgitating how i feel right now. ever since me and my girlfriend broke up I have had a hard time keeping my head up. but the real source of insequrity is the lack of experience. and experience is hard to make up with false confidence. blahhhhhhh. (p.s sorry for the lack of spell check but its vomit right? that never looks pretty)

@David W. So I wholeheartedly believe this and use it always although with dating I do have my issues because I tend to get uncomfortable when men looking at me because I think they are thinking something negative. or when I get complimented again I get uncomfortable. Why do I do this I wonder? I've been working on loving myself for who am I am faults and all for a while now and feel I've gotten far. I guess it's because when I was younger I never felt pretty I guess I was an ugly duckling but now I know I've gotten prettier and have been told. So why do I get so uncomfortable with the attention! Do I maybe revert back in my head to that ugly duckling I used to be and how it felt? I don't know but it really hinders me when I want to approach people in general. On the other hand though I might think well who cares if I'm not his type I'm great and I'm not going to be everyones type (you taught me that!) I believe it! I guess then I need to start and keep reminding myself that I'm not that 15 year old girl any more! I am pretty, intelligent, loving and soo much more! thanks David!

Great podcast! people just wake up and smell the roses, it's not all bad! you win some you lose some but you should never stop trying because you had a run of bad luck. l hate and ill use this the word HATE people who put their head down after one fail and play it over and over again in their head! Everyone is unique and you just need to remind yourself of it! know your strength tell yourself what it is! just because one girl didn't see you as the "right one" doesn't mean their isn't someone out there who is. l'm not here to vent or tell my story of my girl problems because a problem is a experience and you just need to remind yourself of what happened and make sure you don't do it again! David...THANK YOU :)

I always make excuses, I know I make them and I know that it needs to stop. I am aware of that and I am still making excuses. It sometimes feels so frustrating restricting yourself, being aware of it and still not doing anything about it! I want to change my mindset but there is a side of me that is stoping me. Sometimes I feel confused and angry.

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