When the cable goes down, are you somebody that calls up the service provider and screams at the person on the other end?

Or maybe you’re staying in a hotel and they messed up your reservation, would you throw a glass of water in the face of the receptionist?

Do you usually threaten people when you don’t get your way?

Let’s say you bought something on the Internet and you don’t like the product.  Do you immediately send someone an e-mail threatening them that if you don’t get your money back, you’re going to call the Better Business Bureau or that you’re going to write a blog post about what a bad company they are?

Do you try to do anything in your power to make people look bad if you feel they’ve wronged you?

If you are this type of person—stop. Stop right now.

The way you behave with others out in the world is exactly the way you are in your interpersonal relationships with the opposite sex.

People who tend to threaten tend to use those threats with the opposite sex because they have been frustrated in their interpersonal relationships for so long.

The minute something goes wrong in an interpersonal relationship, they either make a verbal threat or they take something away from somebody that they used to give lovingly. I call this behavior “passive aggressive relationship mode”.

People who behave this way are very mistrusting.  They think the world is out to get them.

It’s sad.

I truly believe that when people do this, their lack of trust comes from inside, not from the person that they’re dealing with.  It’s their personal issues coming out.

As a guy that runs his business online, I deal with people like this from time to time. If they didn’t like a product, they send me an e-mail and they threaten me with the Better Business Bureau.

I’ve had people threaten to say bad things about me in public or on their personal platforms.

I’ve had people call me names.

Seriously.

Here’s the deal: I’m the most open, honest person I’ve ever met.  If you don’t like something of mine, I’m going to send you a few e-mails and try to find out why you didn’t like, or how I can help you.

I want to guide you to see if I can help you either:

A.  Find the right product with me.

B.  Find the right product with someone else.

C.  Maybe share something with you that will actually enlighten you to try the product again in a different mindset.

I will also call you out on your own crap, especially now that I’m practicing extreme honesty.

Anger stems from your own frustration in life, your own frustration in your interpersonal relationships—not with the person you’re dealing with.

A mistrust of somebody you’re dealing with stems from being a mistrustful person—it doesn’t come from anything anybody else did.

The front desk clerk didn’t do you any harm at the hotel.  You have no relationship with her, no history with her whatsoever.

It has to do with your interpersonal relationships.  The way you were brought up, how you were taught to trust or mistrust others, all of your experiences in glorious or painful relationships—all shape the way you behave with others.

So the next time you feel this anger arise, look deep inside, and get to the bottom of why this behavior is a habit for you.

Forgive all the people that you think wronged you in your life.

Drop the old, bottled-up emotions.

Rid your mind of the negative thoughts.

And be free.

(We like you better that way.)