Fearless HeartToday, I have a little story for you. This one to me is a really amazing story and a huge realization. The other day, I was self-reflecting. I was told recently by my massage therapist that my heart chakras were closed. We all know that our body is divided into categories of energy centers, called chakras; there are seven chakras, the heart is just one.

So my massage therapist told me last week that my heart chakra was closed. Sure, I’ve gone through some stuff in my life, lots of emotions and everything else, but I think as we age, our hearts tend to close down. We don’t even know it’s happening. So, when I was told that my heart chakra was closed, I started thinking about that and I realized that how we really want to live is with a fearless heart. I started thinking to myself, “When did I really live with this fearless heart?”

And I remembered Bonnie. I was 24 years old, living in New York City. I was living at 167 West 80th Street, Apartment 5A. I will never forget that address. It was my first adult live-alone experience. I started working out at this gym called Jack LaLanne. It was a big gym chain in the 70s and 80s. You all remember Jack LaLanne. I worked out at one at 75th and Broadway and there was this girl there that I absolutely wanted to meet. Her name was Bonnie.

For months, I never talked to her. Every time I saw her, I came up with more reasons to talk to her, but it didn’t happen. Sound familiar to any of you guys?

I’d even give myself mantras. “Today, if I see Bonnie, I’m going to talk to her.”

And I would fail. Then I would do it another day. I would say, “Today, I’m going to say this to Bonnie. I’m just going to say it.” And then I’d go to the gym, stare at her as I always would, and not say a word. Then one day, back in 1987, I finally decided that today was going to be the day; I was going to talk to her. It was probably the thirteenth or fourteenth positive pep talk that I gave myself over the span of a couple of months.

So, there I was working out and there was Bonnie working out and I’m looking at her. I kept thinking, man I want to go out with her, she is beautiful, she is perfect for me. Sound familiar?

I created an entire fantasy about David and Bonnie. David and Bonnie were going to go to the beach this weekend. David and Bonnie were going to sleep in late on Sunday and read the New York Times. David and Bonnie were going to go leave Manhattan and take a long drive in the country. David and Bonnie were going to party and have fun in the city.

I built Bonnie up so much in my mind that no matter what type of positive pep talk I gave myself, it was always so hard to talk to her. I just couldn’t figure out how to talk to Bonnie.  But then the day came that I finally decided all the missed opportunities, all the fear, the excuses, had to stop.  So here I was in the gym, looking at her, watching her. And then she left. I was like, wait, what? She left? This was the day. Today. This was the day I was going to make my move.

What did I do? I looked at myself and I said, “I promised myself something. I want to learn how to be a man that holds true to his word. I want to be a man that talks the talk and walks the walk. It’s time I overcame this fear. I’m going to go talk to Bonnie.”

And I went after her.

This gym had long steps that went down to the street. Bonnie was already down those steps. I ran down, one step after another, and all of a sudden I got to 80th street. I looked left and I looked right and I could not find her in the sea of people in Manhattan. And finally, I saw her. About 20 yards ahead. So I quickly ran after her. As fast as my little legs would move. For those of you who have ever seen pictures of me in the 80s, I had a massive upper body and skinny legs.

I got to her. I didn’t know what the hell I was going to do, but today was the day. I tapped her on the shoulder, she looked at me startled and says, “What?” And I say, “Hi.” She goes, “Hi.”  Then she asks, “Did you just run after me?” I answer, “Yes.” She asks, “Why?”

 And that’s when I say, “Because today was the day I was going to talk to you. See, I’ve been noticing you at the gym for months and I never talk to you and it’s the most ridiculous thing in the entire world. I’m David, by the way.” She says, “I’m Bonnie.”

Then I continue, “And I decided when I woke up this morning that today was the day I was going to go talk to you, Bonnie. That’s your name, Bonnie. I’m David.” She goes, “You already told me that.” I say, “I know.”

She looked at me then and she said, “Wanna go out?” I was like, “Absolutely.” We exchanged phone numbers and hung out a whole bunch of times after that.  I still remember that day well; that was the day I realized a big lesson. The lesson was I can have whatever I want. The lesson was there’s no such thing as fear.

But today in my life, I realize something even more. That David, that young man, that guy that wanted Bonnie so badly had an open heart. He had no fear. He had no fear inside his heart at all. His heart was so wide open that he was willing to expose himself to Bonnie that day and say “I had to talk to you today.” He babbled and said stuff, and Bonnie responded.

You want to know why Bonnie responded? Because as a man, my heart was open. And if my heart is open, a woman’s heart is going to be open too.

You see, women are wired for the man to lead. Women are wired for you to take their hand and lead them down this path. I led Bonnie down that path with an open heart, and because of that she was open. She didn’t flake, she didn’t find an excuse not to hang out. Because the man chasing her did something so crazy, so ridiculous, so authentic. He had an authentic heart. He had such a fearless heart that she could do nothing more than just go out with him.  

And I realize as we get older, our hearts aren’t as fearless as they once were. We see someone that we’re attracted to and we don’t go after them. I thought about this tonight when I was getting another massage. Because last time I got a massage my heart was closed, so tonight I asked my massage therapist if my heart was still closed, and she said it’s getting better. Then I shared this lesson with her: I realized that this David, the older David, needs to have his heart open like the young David did — fearless heart, say what he feels, no matter what it might be, to whomever he’s talking to. The young man did it. The older man does it sometimes.

Imagine a world full of fearless hearts. Imagine being a man able to fearlessly say these things. The funny thing about it was I’ve done a lot of this stuff my whole life, but it never really dawned on me that it was my heart being fearless. I thought it was just my ego, my male, my manliness. You want a woman to melt, you want a woman to fawn at your feet, you want a woman to open herself up to you, then you fearlessly have to do and say and speak from your heart. You have to have a fearless heart.

A fearless heart is the only way to live. Having a fearless heart means that you’re speaking a truth, you’re saying the things that are hard. If you live this fearless life, you become that man that women crave, that man that’s powerful, that man that’s strong. When you become that strong man, a woman then gets to be her most feminine being. She gets to give herself to you because she knows her heart is safe, she knows her soul is safe, she knows her body is safe. Fearless heart is how you live.

It’s about getting out of ego and getting into heart space. I now learned another lesson about what getting into heart space is all about. It’s about saying what you want when you want it no matter what it is, because this feeling that I had, this flashback that I had, all goes back to the power of Bonnie. Bonnie was my first feeling of having a fearless heart. 

So, join me in this quest to open up your heart with no fear and see the amount of women that absolutely fawn over you. See the amount of women that want to go out with you, that want to be with you. See the amount of women that see you as the authentic man you’re dying to be. Speak from your heart. Say what you feel. You’re afraid to go talk to a woman, tell her, “I’m not good at this. I just wanted to go over and talk to you and ask you out, whatever it might be.” Be authentic, be fearless. 

It starts from the heart. What do you want? How badly do you want it?

You need to ask yourself that question before you join us. That’s it. Enjoy it. Fearless heart.