Men Love That New Car Smell
September 6, 2007 
17 Comments
Men Love That New Car Smell
I was at a party tonight. I seem to go to a lot of parties. That’s livin’ in Los Angeles, right? So, I was at a party tonight overlooking the Pacific Ocean, and it felt like I was in the Mediterranean. I ended up speaking with this woman at the end of the night. And it was really funny, I think, how toward the end of the night when everyone’s a little more buzzed the conversations get a little more interesting and a little freer.
We talked for about ten minutes basically about cars. Yesterday my car’s “check engine” light went on, which we all know really means “ignore the check engine light as long as you possibly can.” The air conditioner broke yesterday too . . . and this car is only eleven months old. It’s under warranty and the air conditioner breaking is certainly something that you don’t expect, but no big deal.
So I woke up this morning and drove to the valley, and then while I was driving back the car decided to start pouring black smoke out of its ass. It then basically died on the 405, traveled across five lanes of traffic, glided down a hill, and made the light in front of my building for the first time ever. I then left it at a bus stop until Saab picked it up.
After telling this woman at the party this story, I proceeded to tell her “I’ve been having this love/hate relationship with my car. I just haven’t really wanted my car recently. Do you think my car realized this today and decided to quit on me? You know, maybe the engine decided to give out all of a sudden because it wasn’t feeling my love?”
She and I started talking in car lingo back and forth, and I told her “You know, I get that way with cars.” I then went on to explain:
First I want the car, I desire the car, I take the car for a test drive . . . and then I’m just not sure I want the car anymore. What happens next is I go back a few weeks later, the car and I see each other again, we flirt, I get in and feel the leather seats, and I drive the car around.
Then once again it’s like I’m not sure if I want the car. Two weeks later I go back to the dealership, and the dealer tells me that the car has been sold. All of a sudden I leave that dealership and the car drives by me, winks at me with its headlights, and like a typical guy what do I want? I want the car.
We began talking about how this analogy is so much like the way men think about women. I have a woman (like I have this car), and even though there is 16 months left on the 28 months lease, I don’t want it anymore because I like the new car smell (just like I like new woman smell).
You know, I really enjoy new women in my life. I really enjoy experiencing different women, and experiencing different types of women. It’s the person that I’ve always been. So making this analogy to cars was definitely a new and fascinating thing: What happens is that I don’t want my car anymore . . . I’m onto the next car.
This woman and I were laughing so much because this analogy is so perfect. So many men out there go through this same process: they get cars, they love the car, they don’t want the car anymore, then they want the next car.
Or what happens is this: a guy’s friend gets the car, he brags about the car, the guy wants his friend’s car, the friend sells the car, and the guy buys the car because he wants it now that his friend no longer does.
The guy will then drive the car for a while, until he realized he doesn’t want the car, and he puts it up for sale on autotrader.com (which is no different than match.com if you think about it because everyone is a “used car” on match.com . . . you’re trying to get the people with low mileage and not too many hidden engine problems).
Men treat their cars the way they treat their women. A lot of men feel women are very disposable. A lot of men are always chasing bigger, better, faster women . . . like they chase bigger, better, faster cars.
So we continued to speak in this analogy back and forth. It was really fascinating because we were just having this intense fun connection in a very different way, and speaking a language we both understood.
This woman also described the kind of guy who seduces and romances a car. You know, he goes and he pays cash for this really expensive car. Then all of a sudden he doesn’t want the car three weeks later and sells it for a loss.
He’s the same type of man who finds a really beautiful woman whom he wants romance and take to Europe the first week they’re dating. He buys her a new wardrobe and other expensive gifts, and then three weeks later when he’s sick of his new toy and doesn’t want to be with her anymore, he begins looking for the next woman.
Then there’s the guy who drives the same car for ten years. He complains about it on a regular basis. He doesn’t like this car anymore. He’s not into the car anymore. He’d really like to get a new car. He even drives his friends’ cars or sneaks away and goes to a dealership to drive another car just so he can get off at the feeling of having another car.
Well, this is no different than the guy who’s in a marriage or a relationship where he’s really bored and doesn’t want to be in it anymore. So what happens is he ends up trying out other women. He flirts with other women in a bar, but doesn’t do anything . . . so in turn he sneaks behind his woman’s back, and he goes to a rub ‘n tug place to get a hand job from some beautiful, sexy, Asian happy-ending masseuse. This is what this type of guy is like.
Finally, you’ve got the guy who does a lease, and it’s all a business transaction. He thinks: “I’m going to be in this car for four years, I’m going to amitorize the whole thing, and I’m going to get my money out.” This is the guy who basically looks at a woman like a partner . . . but more as a union and not on a deep level.
With this mindset, he’s the guy who thinks: “We’re going to go get married, spit out some kids together, have a really good time, and we’re going to build a future together.” Everything is so cut and dried. This is the type of guy who buys one lease after another, but the leases are very practical because his life is very practical.
So think about what type of car you are. What type of driver are you? Are you the type of guy that keeps things around for a long time, or are you the guy who is always craving new cars? Take a look at your life, and see if the kind of guy you are in how you choose and treat your cars, is the same kind of guy you are in your dating life . . . and in the way you chase women.
For those of you that want to hear more about this I will be uploading a new podcast on this today. You can find that right below my blog on my home page.
Love the analogy!!!
I determine what kind of man someone is by their shoes. If they have lots of shoes then they have lots of women. If they have very few shoes, then very little women. The nicer looking the shoes, the nicer looking women they have.
V
waahhh! I just wrote such an awesome thing and hit comment…where oh where can it be??? DAVID???? Help! I probably couldn’t write that again to save my life, BUT if it doesn’t post—-hey I will just raise it up a bar!
V,
You know, I think that you may have something there. My favorite pig-tail puller is a shoe guy. He tends to wear those shoes that are long and kind of pointed but have a blunt toe at the very tip. Not too long ago we were sitting at the desk, after having talked to a couple of my favorite co-conspirators, I took his shoe off. It was Oh So Hilarious! He of course knew what we were thinking. He said he used them to pick up on women. I told him he was wearing “Cheater” shoes to pick up on chicks. Its all in good fun!
David:
I can’t speak for men, but I can tell you that I was terribly enamored with the mustangs in 99 when I bought my first new vehicle. I was also at the Chevy, Chrysler dealer looking at the firebirds. I was just tired of the mom-mobile. My ex who during the test drive of the stang kept saying, you’re gonna kill yourself, spotted this jeep. I still stepped into and sat in the firebird, but ooh! that jeep was calling my name. She said sistah, you know you wanna! Drove it, and put all but 6 miles on it. Don’t ever wanna trade it in. True, I do lust after the Rubicons with the four doors and my kids would truly appreciate four doors, but my homesallie is a perfect fit particularly now that she has a winch, and a Detroit trutrack. She is truly beautiful!
This is a test of the emergency comment post system! Will this post? Let us see!
Now, I am not so worried about how long you keep me, as I am what you do with me so long as I am in your handleing. I ask that you tend to my VERY low maintainance needs, so that I can give YOU the highest of performance when you take me for a “ride.” lol I supply you with multiple miles for very little fuel, and give you the Supercharged performance of a lifetime if you give me that TLC I need to sustain that performance.
I only evolve into a classic with age, so to rid yourself of me would be foolish, but then again, new hands on the wheel might send me into turbo charged overdrive mode?;))
Just enjoy me while you can, treat me with care and i will give you the ride of a lifetime EVERYTIME!:) That comes with a bumper to bump”her” Guarantee! SOLD!! Meeoowwwwwww! I love it! lol
Last post was the last 1/2 of what I wrote. I smell a glitch?
I am the woman, the car. I am a—Cherry Red Souped up Mini Cooper S Convertible, boasting a 16 valve Supercharged engine for highest performance, Wide Bulldog Stance enableing you to maneuver around the curves with ease and precision while on your joy ride! lol I have graced the Monte Carlo Rally, and won International Car of the Century award;) I am one bad ass little hot rod!;)
(Now go up and read the previous post for continuation….)
Now, I am not a man, but I am ALL woman, so that means I get to be the car;)))Lets say I am a…..Cherry Red, Mini Cooper S Convertible, boasting a 6- speed Getrag transmission, with a 16 valve Super Charged engine. I’ve a wide bulldog stance which allows you to maneuver around the curves with grace as well as precision;) Hey I am short like one, so it fits me perfect!My Torsional Rigitity of 24,500 NM/*, means great handleing of me when you are on the ride as well;) I have won the International Car of The Century Award, Graced the Monte Carlo Ralley with my speed and dexterity, and am kin to the Mini Cooper 997, being the first of the faster and versatile line. In other words—I’m a bad ass litlte machine!Now, I am not so worried about how long you keep me, as I am what you do with me so long as I am in your handleing. I ask that you tend to my VERY low maintainance needs, so that I can give YOU the highest of performance when you take me for a “ride.” lol I supply you with multiple miles for very little fuel, and give you the Supercharged performance of a lifetime if you give me that TLC I need to sustain that performance.I only evolve into a classic with age, so to rid yourself of me would be foolish, but then again, new hands on the wheel might send me into turbo charged overdrive mode?;))Just enjoy me while you can, treat me with care and i will give you the ride of a lifetime EVERYTIME!:) That comes with a bumper to bump”her” Guarantee! SOLD!! Meeoowwwwwww! I love it! lol
HOORAY! There it is in full! The post of Joan has made it through!!!
I’m the finance a car for 72 months for the lowest payments possible kind of guy… that probably makes me look really bad… lol
Well, based on my current car situation… I guess you could say that I go for the expensive, high maintenance women that I can’t rotate the tires on… ’cause they aren’t built that way… pay more than I ever thought oil should ever cost for an oil change (but it goes for 10000 miles, right)… looks great as long as I’ve got wax on her ass… and at least once every two months… has a monumental breakdown of mammoth proportions.
F*** that DOES sound like my last girlfriend, ha, ha, ha.
Maybe I should get an el Camino…
Tony, that only makes you look money savvy and frugal. Nothing bad about that;)
AngelEyes;
LOL Now see. You guys want to go for those shiny ass, high maintainance pricey “models,” when if you’d gone for the less flashy but still classy “model,” she’d be getting you where you need to be either nice and slow, or accelerated and explosive! On the less pricey model, EVERYTHING rotates the direction you guide it to go baby! You definitely get more “bang” for you buck!
LOL! I would still be a Jeep…
Classic lines, ready for anything, ready to take you to your rocks, and turning it over for you to play with me in the mud, sand, snow, or the bumpiest ride you’ve ever been on….with my top off!
and my stereo system really rocks…
Z06 corvette black, 6sp, top speed 188 mph.
NO wonder I like Faryn. LOL!
Very early here …
Jim dear, really ….
http://www.jaguarusa.com/us/en/xk/models_pricing/models/xkr_convertible.htm
http://www.ferrariworld.com/fwe/events/photogallery/photogallery.jsp
If Taleda is out there – get up off your sweet heart and open your private email. I’ve ignored your request. Don’t ever play the role of go-between again unless you are involved in a 3-or-more-way. It simply doesn’t pay. Remember what I said; we humans attach the ugliness to words, and if Dr. Bob could find his own asshole, I’d suggest he fuck himself proper. Get your ego out of the way Dr. Darling, you are dreadfully boring.
Joan, if she doesn’t reply to me, since you are closer in location than I am, I’ll pay for you to find her in Las Vegas – what a dismal local for a hot blooded Lion – and you’ve my permission to slap her. I know she’ll like that.
Now let me go back to sleep until room service arrives.
Faryn……………..make me double SIGH!