i.e. going to pull at a club, with that one purpose on your mind drove me crazy with anxiety, and “monkey chatter” as david calls it, but if you’re going out with your mates on a fairly heavy one, and hanging out with a few old friends, you end up taking that opportunity and not eternally worrying about it inside your head, because you’re having a great time already!

Same applies going to the post office, supermarket or wherever you personally feel comfortable approaching. I know it all sounds so “duh, well thats obvious” etc, but when you start becoming satisfied with who you are, and what you’ve learnt so far, and not actively practicing, it really all does fall into place.

I know this isnt the answer you were probably seeking or whatever, but I hope it helps slightly.

Pete

It’s so great when the conversation starts because it seems like one person just read the other person’s mind.

I always try to tell clients to really feel how the other person feels. Usually, those are the best openers too! Use your observation of not just what’s around you but what feelings/energy is around!

Women at my job are all head over hills for this dude. He just pulled a hot 22 year old girl from my job! How does he do it? He just strolls in to work and is genuinely friendly. He asks the girls how they are all doing? Of course he adds some humor to it now because the comfort level is there. But I watch him and it is almost as if he doesn’t try at all to pick up these women. He flirts genuinely and doesn’t even put a lot of effort into it, just simple conversation skills.

I hear people saying it all the time, but when its said more like a statement, it really seems to become more of a conversation killer than anything. I think as David says, be genuinely interested in an answer, maybe something more than just “good”.

I am quite witty, but I still have trouble engaging women in conversation. Last Friday, two girls from my block invited me to go bar-hopping for their birthday. I liked one of their friends, a petite brunette. We started dancing, and I was racking my brains out thinking of what to say next!

She was texting while dancing, so I called her on that (“Why are you texting someone else? Talk to me, I’m right here in front of you!” – which by the way, is something David has suggested doing in these blogs). She laughed and explained she was texting to her dad.

Anyway, I didn’t leave with her -she was beautiful but the chemistry wasn’t quite there-, but I wish I had read this blog before. Fortunately, there’s a lot of women in Quito, so I better keep on growing!