Meddling Girlfriends
By David Wygant
Sometimes life is like a soap opera, but the story I’m about to tell you is something that even my writer friends here in Los Angeles could not have made up. You are truly not going to believe what I’m about to share with you. This story is so outrageous that it is just about the only relief I’ve had in the last week.
For any of you who don’t know, Daphne (my beloved English Labrador) had two tumors removed last Tuesday. I sweated the pathology report all week long. At around 5:00 pm on Friday, the vet finally called me back.
He told me that Daphne has two mast cell tumors – one Grade I and one Grade II. Luckily the margins were clean on both and we had caught them in time. This dog is now going on a health regimen with herbs and healthy foods like her owner, because there’s NO way I’m going to lose her.
So it was a tough week last week . . . until I heard this story I’m about to tell you. You are about to see just how much influence a girlfriend should (and should not) have in a relationship.
Before I tell you about all the players in this drama, I need to provide you with some background information. I have been playing in a fantasy football league that has been around for six years and which is comprised mostly of childhood friends of mine.
This year we decided to expand to twelve teams and add two new members to our league. One new member is another of our childhood friends, and the other is a guy who does marketing for me. This all sounds very innocent so far, doesn’t it?
Well, apparently six years ago when everyone was drunk at a party, one of our new members (the childhood friend) copped a feel of the behind of one of our other member’s girlfriend. Now keep in mind that this happened six years ago, everyone was drunk and apologies were exchanged LONG ago.
So let me introduce the cast of characters to you. Of course, ALL NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED . . . TO PROTECT THE INSANE.
We’ll call our ass groper “Kevin.”
We’ll call the groped girlfriend “Kate.”
And we’ll call the groped girlfriend’s boyfriend “Peter.”
Poor Kevin is not crazy or a pervert, he just likes women. He actually has a history of groping, but at least he’s honest about it.
The real question is whether deep down Kate is actually very turned on by Kevin, and it’s her guilt that is causing this whole crazy situation in the first place. (Don’t worry, I’m getting to the good part shortly!) Notably, Kate’s portrayal of the groping was a manifested lie. She turned a simple ass-pat into something FAR more sexual.
The irony is that Kate’s perfect Peter really is a pervert. When he was eight years old and away at summer camp, he asked me to send him a box of condoms. I mean what was he going to do with them there? Blow them up and make circus animals for his bunkmates?
So back to the story . . .
You won’t believe what happened this week. After our new members were in and the draft order had been set, Peter all of a sudden had a seeming change of heart and decided he can’t play in the fantasy league with his groping friend Kevin. As we dug deeper and heard more, the real story emerged.
It turns out that Kate had called up our fantasy football league commissioner and talked to him for a FEW HOURS about why Kevin should not be allowed in the league. You heard me correctly – she called the commissioner! Even worse, she did so while Peter was on the line listening but forbidden to speak (like a trained puppy).
If your jaw has already dropped, hold on because the story gets even crazier. After calling the commissioner, Kate then called another one of the league participants and spent TWO HOURS explaining to him why Peter is not allowed to play in the league with someone who groped her ass six years ago while everyone was drunk.
I know by this point you are sure this story is a joke, but let me assure you that I’m not making any of this up. Every part of this story really happened in the last seven days.
Keep in mind that this is a fantasy football league. We don’t even sit in a room together to watch games. It’s FANTASTY! It’s not real.
We’re not even hanging on the same therapy couch together after all of this. I have been playing in this league for five years and have yet to ever meet some of the members. Of course we exchange emails over the course of the season, but that’s about it.
Now our friend Peter, who’s dating meddling girlfriend Kate, has always been pretty weak. He’s allowed his mother to control him. He’s allowed his dad to control him. Now he has Kate, an older girlfriend he allows to control his every move. The sad thing is he’s actually a great guy – a little quirky, but a great guy I’ve known almost my entire life.
This next part of the story will make your jaw drop even further. Since the day Peter met Kate seven years ago, she has NEVER worked. He supports her. He, however, doesn’t work either. His trust fund supports them both.
As you can see we’re not talking about a normal relationship to begin with here. We’re talking about two people who have WAY too much time on their hands. You clearly have way too much free time if you have time to analyze to this extent which people in a fantasy football league should (and should not) have the right to play.
A relationship should be based on allowing your partner to have their own interests – including being able to play with their friends whether you like them or not! Your partner should never ever be in the position of getting to approve (or disapprove) of everything you do in your life. That is not having a relationship.
That is a man living with his mother. He might as well send an email to all the players in the league saying “Mommy won’t let me play after school with Kevin the groper anymore!” We’ve all done dumb things when we’re drunk that we’ve regretted . . . but this is ridiculous!
In relationships, you should NEVER control your partner. Not only that, but if you let your partner control everything you do, you need to look in the mirror and see who you are as a person.
Let’s remember that this whole thing blew up over FANTASY FOOTBALL! I can understand Kate not wanting to have Kevin the groper over to her house for a party, but to not allow your partner to play with him in a fantasy football league where everything is conducted via email is just plain psychotic!
I could maybe even understand this a little bit (and I do mean little!) if the groping had occurred yesterday, but it happened SIX years ago and apologies were exchanged. Give me a break!
By the way, if this story has you thinking that we’re talking about a group of college-aged kids, think again. Peter, the friend in question who can’t think for himself, is 38 years old. Kate, the meddling girlfriend, is 52 years old.
So today in honor of what’s occurred, I am sending them a care package in the mail. I was cleaning out my house last Sunday, and found a collar that Daphne doesn’t wear anymore. I also found a training leash, one of those long ones that will give my friend some extra room in case he still wants to run on a leash. I’m heading to FedEx right now, in fact, because I don’t want Kate to lose track of her rich boyfriend at any time.
Oh . . . and if any of you have any extra bones, or anything else you’d like to send to my friend Peter, please let me know. We can put together a nice big care package to send to him.
David,
I completely agree that Kate is a psychopath with too much time on her hands, however, one comment you made irked me a little bit.
“He actually has a history of groping, but at least he’s honest about it.”
I don’t think it is OK for a man to grope a woman even if he owns up to it. It is not an acceptable problem to have, it is actually a crime. It’s a little bit like saying yes, he has a problem raping women but at least he owns up to it.
DG
Wow,
After reading this blog, I feel the extra motivation to stay really busy in my life. The kind of relationship portrayed here is way too lopsided and abnormal. Not to mention i have never heard of a man married to a woman 14 years older (unless we are talking about Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher of course).
I’ve got some dirty gym socks he can chew on… lol
The new site is bitchin’… nice work!
Now, about that membership site…
First of all – nice new site – looks great
Second of all – WHAT?!?!?!? Seriously? I mean most of the relationships I know it is more then a tad obvious which one is “in control” which in and of itself bothers me enough to remain single – as I am of the apparent minority school of thought of “equal” in a relationship is the healthiest course of action…..but wow this is actually – well sad. Obviously your friend is so used to being controlled that he gravitates towards it – perhaps it makes him more comfortable.
As for the girl – she needs to get a life. if she is 52 and had her ass groped at a party when she was 46 – well damn – she obviously is hot enough to warrant it – and in the situation (drunk at a party) personally I would have found it a riot – and perhaps even bragged!
Some people just don’t have any perspective on what is worth getting upset over and what isn’t even worth remembering or discussing ever again.
Is Daphne having surgery? What kind of health regiman does doc have her on?
As for the care package – I would offer sending a whip – but something tells me the girl already has one…
David, You got to tell your friend to own his balls. I can’t stand it when guys are mistreated by their gf and still stands by her side in fear of losing her. There is a fine line between being a good bf and a butler. Also, Kate needs to get a life. At 52, shes not in high school any more. Calling the commissioner is a little immature on her part. David you should get an gynocologist appointment for your friend Peter since his balls has become ovaries. =)
Aww, poor Daphne… I hope eveything turns out well for her!
As for Peter, I think I might be able to donate some old chew toys
OMG! This is completely ridiculous. First off I can’t stand people who get everything handed to them. Living off of his family trust is really the most aggravating thing about this. They seem right for each other since they both have no drive to do anything but waste away with each other. Secondly, I would never let my girlfriend control something as small as fantasy football. I could see if I was thinking about buying a real football team, but fantasy football… come on. He needs to grow a pair and move on. She obviously has way too much control and influence on his life.
David,
How about we send him a REAL care package? Invite him onto one of our bootcamps. He’s your friend. He needs it more than anyone else.
Khiem –
Great idea … except I bet Kate wouldn’t let him come
I laughed my ass off when David told me this story the other day. He was so animated I almost peed my pants!
1st off I am sure David didn’t mean it the way it sounded when he wrote “He actually has a history of groping, but at least he’s honest about it.” I’m sure he wasn’t condoning illegal behavior or unsolicited touching. I think he meant at least the guy owns up to being a perv and owned up to smacking her ass.
I cannot fathom the immaturity level of this woman. She is 52 and is acting like a teenager. I can understand the principle behind her lack of logic. If someone did something that I perceived as a physical/sexual assault against me I would not want to see that person again. I would hope my boyfriend wouldn’t either; but that would be his choice. I would press charges if it was something llegal but I would never be offended by a friend’s pat on the rear. I’m very touchy feeley. Anyway, the fact that her story changed, she accepted the apology, this occurred 6 years ago and her boyfriend and the groper are not going to be in the same room or even have to talk on the phone for their fantasy league makes her demands seem outrageous and ridiculous. She needs to get a life and move on. She ovbiously likes the negative attention and drama otherwise she would have let go of this years ago. If it was such a big deal she should have pressed charges against him….she didn’t so it couldn’t really be all that bad. Her boyfriend needs to make decisions for himself and lose his mom!
Khiem: You are so right and so sweet! Great idea! He needs help! Maybe the groper and the pussy can take a bootcamp together. I would pay money to tag along for the laughs!
I was thinking someone should send him gift certificate to a mommy and me class like Gymboree so the f-ed up couple could have a fun playdate with themselves and other children and moms.
kevin is a jerk. With a history of gropping? What does it say about him or his friends.
Whew! What a piece of work this pair seems to be…
I agree with Khiem, it appears that your buddy needs to go to one of your bootcamps a.s.a.p
I hope Daphne is feeling better. Are you thinking about a macrobiotic diet?
I hardly know where to begin with the Peter, Kate, and Kevin story, but it seems that it didn’t bother her last season for Peter to play with his friends…Why now? Too bad Peter seems to need to be controlled, but it happens more often than we think. As far as being all offended about Kevin’s admitted groping, there’s a big difference between a smack or a copping of a feel at a party and say doing that same thing at work or in public with an acquaintance. I suppose I would just handle that whole issue way differently. Better to embarrass the hell out of him by offering your ass for a feel every time you see the guy than to get your knickers in a twist over it…when that happens your ass always gets chaffed.
Hey Bertie
GReat to see you back!!
Do you like the new site?
I have her starting a raw diet next week with herbs and flowers.
I had a great talk with an herbologist in portland today and she is going to send me all the things i need to do.
Its all about diet and lifestyle.
Daphne was a throwback…she was given back to he breeder when she about a 1 1/2 and lived in a broken home.
so she had a bit or trauma in her early years.
it is amazing how that can effect yor celluar structure .
anyway she is going to be fine with the help of a new regiment,
Kevin has been a gropper but he is not a rapist as someone said above.
And this was 6 years ago.
This is all about my friend and his lack of balls when dealing with her. He is afraid of her. I tried to call him this week to go over all of this and he could not pick up because she was around.
That to me is Jail and its really sad
I agree with you David …
As bad (and actually kinda funny) as Kate’s actions were in this story, the worst part of this whole thing is the fact that there is a 38 year old man who puts up with that – seemingly without any argument. THAT’S where the true help is needed
David, perhaps this guy’s friends should stage and intervention and kidnap him and bring him to a bootcamp so you can de-program him
P.S. – Bertie, it IS really great to see you back!
David,
I’m glad to hear Daphne will be okay and that she’s getting the care she needs!
Yay for got doggy parents!
As for the story– yes, Peter should be making these decisions on his own without Kate’s help. And if his decisions about how to proceed with his ass-groper friend (which, would earn him a punch in the face with some women, or charges of assault with others) did not agree with Kate, than she’s better off leaving and finding a better match/man with a spine and identical values.
Lexi.
Lexi
Thanks!!!
Peter has never had a spine with women,
He is a great guy but this is how he chooses to conduct his life with his balls in his pocket.
He does not need a bootcamp he has no trouble meeting women he is charming and can talk to anyone.
He needs to get some help.
He has way too much free time and i feel that people who dont work and just live tend to really create dramas that do not exist for the sake of spicing up their lives.
I have no time for dramas
Ya, that guy needs to get a life. Both of them cannot be enjoying themselves at all in their screwed up relationship. They both need coaching, ha! We can laugh, etc. at the surface details, but I think it comes down to happiness at its very core.
Great site David, glad Daphne is OK, things are looking amazing.
Good Evening everyone,
Mr Dave, Wonderful advice, interesting story, Your labrador will be fine, she has a owner who loves her.
Take care
Thanks Rafael
I agree she is goingt o be fine!!
Hi, this is my first visit to your site. I have enjoyed everything so far, but it’s late and I need to get to bed. I’m very glad your dog is going to make it many more years, God willing. I love animals and we had many when we lived on the farm. Now in town, we have only a small Yorkshire/silkie, but we love him to pieces. He is like another grandchild to raise. lol
Concerning your story, and after reading your followers replys, I think I will say this: I am in my sixties, and I have learned that there are just some men (and women) who HAVE to be taken care of and sort of told what to do. Why this is, stems mostly with their up-bringing etc. Your friend is rich it sounds like and has this trust fund, so I will assume he had nannies or what not, to do things for him, and he still needs it to this day. So don’t be so hard on him, it’s his life and comfort zone to pick experienced and older women so they can take over that roll. The woman? She must need to control, he lets her, they are happy. Let it be. If and when it changes and he or she decides to change tactics, they will. Life is not always filled with strong, independant people like some of us.
Be patient with your friend. He is who he is, he has what he needs.
The wait to bring it all up again now? Come on you guys. She must feel neglected and RE TOLD the story to get a rise out of him. Someone liked touching me. That type of thing. It happens. She must not have gotten the results she wanted so played her trump card: Then i will call and you can’t play with them any more. He will be more physical with her, and she will forget it. You know its true. But like you said: its their drama. Let them enjoy it. lol lol Thanks, I think I will be back and keep tabs on your site.
Hi,
This is my first time to this site. I’ve enjoyed everyone’s comments alot of the were lol funny.
David, sorry to hear about your dog Daphne. Good to know that she’s doing better and that the vet got all the cancer.
I have to agree with Connie. Sad to say it, but the way we are brought up does play a major factor in how we act and so forth as we get older. For example, if your parents smoked when you were growing up and they told you not to smoke because it’s not good for you, but they don’t quit. You will end up smoking as well when your older. I’ve seen men and women who had everything handed to them and I’m not just talking money. As an adult they have no idea how to function as an adult, because they weren’t shown how to make decisions or any thing like that. It makes it very hard for them to make it out in the big and scary world. You should find a way to get your friend some help on how to function in the great big adult world. Let him know that he doesn’t have to settle for this. I mean we have all taken pot shots at his manhood for crying out loud. That should say something to him. Ask him how he feels about to all this. Let him know that there is a way to reclaim his manhood without losing Kate if he wants to and he might end up leaving her. Of course she would tell the universe that she left him, but we would know that truth. My younger brother has a friend whose mother made a lot of his decisions for him if it hadn’t been for my brother he would have turned out a lot worse than he did. His friend’s sister on the other hand has a hard time dealing with people at work and in some social situations and also making decisions. She didn’t have a friend like my younger brother to help her with those things if she did, she might have turned out different. I feel for your friend. Hope he gets help.
Great posts today!
hi !!!!! divdodo befor you cheik all after
Thanks David! Yes the blog is dare I be all girlie and say lovely? I haven’t perused the rest of the site…yet. I’m kind of in the middle of an odd situation romantically speaking, and I find that I’m more at peace when I step away from the computer, but I’ll be sniffing around soon.
Sorry to hear about Daphne’s rocky start in this world, but I do believe that our environments change us in ways that we do not yet understand, and probably never will. My dog friends just got me in an uproar because I’d been buying just the chicken breasts for the dogs and my peeps too, and now they tell me that though the meat is organic that these chickens are augmented. So I figure I either have to start raising my own or just go crazy…lol. Whoever heard of chickens with breast augmentation???????
hahaha, i had a friend thats exactly like that, he drives a new car every month, with 8k spending money every month. (he’s 19 btw). And he was completely pussy whipped. But long story short, lets just say he end up getting on his knee in front of his girlfriend to apologize for some stupid crap in front of like 50 people, and that was the end of his friendship with our group of friends. we end up sending him a whip last year for his birthday.
Pyscho alert!!! Kevin needs to get some balls and break up with her!! I know of soo many girls like that and they are in steady, long term relationships. Yet, here’s me, been single for quite awhile but can’t find a nice man!!! I’m very laid back and very independent so I would not interfere with my partner’s interests. I guess I’m am happy whereas Kevin probably is not.
It was over “fantasy’ football?? You’ve go to be joking?? Imagine how she reacts over real life drama!!
Good news for your girl Daphne David!!! Losing a pet is as bad as losing a human loved one. She sounds like a trooper.