Managing Expectations
March 10, 2011 
14 Comments
How do those two words make you feel?
Managing Expectations.
Think for a second about your life and where you are at today.
Now think about what expectations you have at this present moment.
Are they realistic?
Do you get discouraged easily when you do not live your expectations?
And do you rely on others to make your expectations come true.
I want you to think about this today and really go deep inside and ask yourself.
Are you good at managing expectations or do you get really frustrated easily when things do not go as planned.
When your done thinking, I want you to have the guts to post your thoughts so I can learn more about you.
Looking forward to reading all of your posts!
I think that as long as you adopt the mindset of never quitting everything else is irrelevant. The number one people fail is because they quit. As for relying on others unless your a kid or very old that is ridiculous.
I feel I get too attached to the outcome with women. Its scarsity thinking and if things dont go how I invision I tend to blame myself and think im not good enough. But what ive noticed is when im with a girl im really into I kind of want it so bad and I act like someome im not and kind of try to impress her. When im hangin with a girl im not that into I am relaxed and myself, which seems to really attract her which feels good. So I end up dating a girl that im not that into cuz shes crazy about me and I string her along and end up hurting her. Please respond to this issue!!!!!!
I believe the main reason why people get disappointed is because they make unrealistic expectations. We also tend to forget about the possibility of things not going as expected or as “planned” so we create this illusion in our minds that EVERYTHING is going to be perfect, instead of just realizing that sometimes we must improvise and change a lot of things, change our plan, our strategy, our game and even our goals. I agree with joey though. As long as you NEVER quit, it doesn’t matter if you change everything a 10000 times, you’ll always get to that place where you want to be no matter what strategies you use, because that place and however long it takes you to get there also changes as you grow.
So I think everyone should have high expectations about everything. I have veeeery high expectations on each situation, but I have also learned to enjoy the ride and not let myself get attached to the outcome, that way I don’t get too disappointed if my expectations don’t come true. And if something doesn’t go so well it doesn’t bother me, there is always something you can learn from each experience.
I have long been guilty of putting expectations on my relationships. It has definitely set me up for disappointment and I have learned that the healthiest of relationships are not like a fast food chain restaurant…they take time to grow and nurture. It is best to have no expectations at all b/c I was appearing anxious when my expectations were not being met…and my true inner self was not showing.
I get stomach knot attachment to the outcome of events I plan. For example, If I plan an awesome group bowling extravaganza I usually invite every person in my cellphone’s contact list, but I get upset like a 2 year old kid at Christmas if only 2 or 3 people show up. I’ve been working on this.
I try to not have too many expectations, but it’s hard to not want things to go my way. And what’s even harder is when things don’t work out, not blaming yourself for everything. This weekend I slept with a girl for the first time expecting that if we slept together it would mean she liked me, but it doesn’t seem to be the case. It’s baffling to me why a girl would just fuck me and treat me like a loser at the same time. Now I don’t know what the hell to expect and maybe that’s for the best.
I’ve been noticing my own behavior more (after the fact…more than in the moment) the past couple of weeks. I’ve noticed I have the same pattern when I’m with a lady I’m really attracted to. I realize I’ve been talking way too much about me… trying to impress her. If I’m not that attracted to a gal, I relate really well and she’s far more likely to be attracted to me. I’m glad I’m noticing my pattern I don’t want to continue. I have a second date this weekend with an extremely attractive gal I unconconsiously tried to impress last weekend.
All great reads thanks for sharing.
Andrew why do you feel like a loser if she sleeps with you once and only once?
Maybe thats all she wanted.
Men do that all the time to women without a thought.
i think expectations can be googd and bad. bad being because you never really know how something is going to go or how another person is going to react. and when you have expectations that involve other people they usally dont go exactly the way you expected it. but that is the good thing because one thing may go completly sideways of what you thought but then the thing you expected to go horible turned out to be the best thing in your life.
nick-
I don’t like the words “managing expectations” When I think of the words managing expectations, I think of someone down grading their expectations to fit their current abysmal reality.
I think about my life and where I am today and I feel let down and disillusioned.
Are my expectations at this moment realistic? I dont know.
My expectations at this present moment are still some what optimistic. I’m pretty young, at 26, so its a little early to call the game. But it’s not looking good for the home team.
It’s like at any moment I could completely lose the game, and the only reason I’m still in this game is because of god’s mercy.
When there is something I want, I’m not afraid to damn the torpedos. I can be quite tenacious. But I am discouraged easily, when I’m faced with a long string of back to back failures.
They say no man is an island. So I think we all, to some degree, depend on others to help us achieve our expectations.
God bless all the times things go according to plan in ones life. Like living well in to ones dotage. But at the end of the day, no matter what we do in life……most likely we will all end up in an old folks home.
“Remember, O human, that you are dust, and unto dust you shall return.” Genesis3:19
From dust to dust, ash to ash.
I have set my goals for this year, the next 5, 10, 20 and the ones before I die. They are things that I am really passionate about, things that I want to do, realistic and challenging at the same time. I have been doing this since two years ago. Being honest, there were goals that I couldn’t accomplish for X or Y reason. I felt disappointed that’s true, but at the same time I felt encouraged and motivated to keep trying. It is like Joey says, it is a about adopting a mindset. My approach helps me to be focused and motivated. I think that managing expectations is like a game, which you can become an expert of, as long as you keep trying. Then, it becomes easier to achieve your goals and keep higher levels of expectations.
I’m a very ambitious person and my expectations are always high regarding everything. I learned to manage them by having a mindset of abundance. So when a girl or potential employer turns me down, I always think that there is something or someone better out there for me. Instead of feeling sorry for myself or asking questions, I just stay positive and keep it moving.
I expect myself to walk up to girls but I don’t have the balls to even walk into a bar alone. I think I need to cover this all in baby steps but I haven’t had the guts to do it yet.
When it comes to expectations I think I reach really high. How can I be great if I’m not unrealistically optimistic. That’s my approach. I haven’t nearly reached all my goals in life but I’m still optimistic.
Hey David,
How does the phrase “managing expectations” make me feel? Like a failure honestly!
Ya know, I am talking a bit to more people and I understand attraction a lot more from when I joined your forums-But I still have so much trouble motivating myself or getting excited about things. “they” always tell me I have to create my own motivation but I dont know what the fuck that means. Maybe I’ve just been discouraged for so much of my life I don’t understand normal things.
Bobby