I Just Want to be Honest, Let’s Hump!
August 25, 2007 
54 Comments
A post about Radical Honesty by David Wygant
I was on a plane the other week going to and from New York City. It seems like I’m always on a plane to New York City . . . American Airlines flight 22 leaving LAX at 11:00 a.m. and arriving at JFK at 11:25 p.m.. “Is there any chance I can get an upgrade today?” I always ask the not-so-friendly woman working the counter at LAX. I always get the same response: “No room in first class.” So, I guess it’s another flight in coach with all the common people like myself.
So here’s something interesting. While I was on the plane I was reading in detail an article about a book I’ve spoken about several times on the blog. The book is titled “Radical Honesty” and is written by a psychologist named Brad Blanton, Ph.D. The person who wrote the article was talking about how Brad Blanton uses this “radical honesty” in order to meet women.
How do all the women who read this blog feel about a man who walks over to them and says “I saw you from across the street, and wanted to come over and see if you’d like to have a cup of coffee?” How do women feel about men being that honest and that bold? That’s a tough approach for men to make. I’ve made it and it works. It’s called the direct approach. It’s cutting through the bullshit and being honest right from the get-go.
Another one I’ve used is when I’ve seen a woman at a bar or at a party and I’ve said “I’m about to leave, but I noticed you and I’d really like to have a drink with you some night.” If I feel any hesitation in her, I’ll say “Think of it as a blind date but we’ve seen each other. I’ll call you, we’ll see if we connect If no, then no harm done.” I like that approach . . . it’s really honest.
Not only is this approach honest, but it’s challenging her. You’re basically telling her that you have no idea if you’re going to connect with her either. That’s very intriguing. These are things that I’ve done . . . and they work.
The “Radical Honesty” author likes to take it a step further. He likes to ask a woman out for a cup of coffee, and then the minute they sit down for a cup of coffee he likes to say to her “The only reason why I asked you out for a cup of coffee is so I can have sex with you.” That’s where “radical honesty” becomes really different. That’s where it becomes raw.
Most people (both men and women), even if they’re thinking something like that, are rarely going to say it out loud. Most people are not going to be that honest with somebody, and tell a person they don’t know that the only reason they approached them was to have sex with them. That is not only gutsy, it’s radically honest.
When I was in my early twenties and living in New York City, I had a summer share house in the Hamptons. A friend of mine taught me a really interesting thing. He said “Instead of chasing the young women this summer, why don’t you be radically honest and tell the older women what you want.” This was my first experience with cougars and sabretooths.
I watched this guy walk over to women in the bar and leave the bar with those women fifteen minutes later to go to their house. His line was “Let’s cut the bullshit. I’m young, you’re slightly older. I know that I can satisfy you all night long, and I also know that you would love to have sex with a young guy who can last all night long.” Pretty radical . . . and honest.
So when I was 23 years-old and I started doing that, it worked more often than not. It worked because of the confidence with which I carried it off, and the honesty in the way I said it. No games. No bullshit.
Now am I suggesting that you do the same thing? It all depends on how honest you want to be. The message here is not about being honest just to get laid.
The deeper message here is that if you stop lying in your encounters with the opposite sex, you won’t have to remember anything. It’s the people who lie and make up stories who always have to remember what they made up.
People who are radically honest just have to remember who they are. So apart from any book or article you might read, or even apart from my blog, what you need to do is start to be honest with yourself and honest with everyone else.
No manipulation game is going to make someone want you long-term. It’s time to embrace yourself and develop your own version of being radically honest.
David, I’m all for honesty (especially in the context of dating), but I think there’s a line between “honest” and “rude” or “offensive.” The examples of the “radical honesty” you’ve used when addressing a woman I would characterize as being honest. I can see that kind of approach as something that would work well for a lot of guys.
What that author said to the woman with whom he had coffee I would characterize not as “radically honest” … but more as “radically rude” or “radically offensive.” I find it hard to believe any woman would positively react to that …
Gracie;
I agree with the fine line between being “honest” and “rude.
I find that I am TOOO honest and open a lot of times, and that is a great way to set yourself up for heartbreak.
The only time I will hold back on being “radically honest,” is when another persons feelings and well being hang in the balance of what I do or say.
Otherwise, I know no other way to be but honest and up front.
As for the “radically honest” man. That is questionable depending on the situation. Sometimes things are better left unsaid if they are hurtfull or harmful to an individuals spirit and soul.
This is a judgement call we each one must make on an individual basis. Thee is no one size fits all when it comes to being radically honest
Yes, I feel it is better when both the woman and the man can be honest, even if you are only enjoying each other for one thing: the repeated booty-call partner.
I have been told that I’m honest to a point and have noticed it after the words have come out of my mouth.
Joan,
As I promised, I am telling you that I got to know the second man from the pool a little better last night. I found out he has been admiring me just as long as I have been admiring him. So far, we have many things in common and he seems very nice and it’s easy to be comfortable around him. We’ll see what happens.
Well gotta go to the store, the baby thinks he needs to eat lunch or something!
lol Yea Kelly. My motto is;
I only open my mouth to change feet!;)
I am glad to hear of this encounter with the “pool man.” Nice and slow, see how it go! You know;)?
Yea girl, something about these kids nowdays. Eat eat eat! That is all they think about! I guess when you become an adult the thoughts are sex, sex, sex;) Wish I were a kid again sometimes.
Good luck and thanks for the update. God to hear;)
i’m interested in what you ladies think about this direct approach… method because to me, the indirect approach can be somewhat hit or miss, depending on the props i have around me, plus i’m more of a no bullshit kind of guy..and i’m quite honest and modest. so too me the direct approach, is supposed to be harder for most, but to me it cut the bullshitting i suppose… i mean i rather go up to a woman and say ” hi i’m joe i noticed here many times and i find you interesting, i was wondering if you’d like to get some coffee sometime, see if there a connection.”
my things is i find women very guarded, because everybody is told at young age “not to talk to strangers” but where adults now and have common sense. so i dont see the problem. why so guarded, i’m not looking to get laid, i’m looking for someone to connect with.. a friend,companion,a lover. my blood and fire
cheers,
Joe
OH and david, good blog today, theses are the blog i really enjoy from you. i’m not into the sex blog, i’m more into the communication and interact side of things.
cheers,
Joe
I like to be honest, and straight forward. I was on my way out, but noticed you and would like to take you out. Who knows mybe we will connect. Call it a blind date, that you have seen. No harm no foul! Likeeeee.
Or lets go have sex! F! How about lets go get busy? Or Lets go do the roll around? LOL!
I feel stupid!!!!
I’ll stick with the straight forward approach. Edgy without being rude. A little naughty can be fun. Its easy to be naughty and nice.
ALL the smart woman of this BLOG…….Comment please. Come love me up!!!!
Agree totally with you Joe!
no worries jim… so you ladies where are you?
cheers,
Joe
Darkpoet;
How are you my friend? Love and agree with your comments! You are a finely tuned-in man as to what you want in a woman and your approach is how I wish all men could approach—at least approach me. You are very respectful and honest. That is key for a woman who is worth your time.
I never get any really rude approaches, but beating around the bush shit!
I for one like the direct, gentleman approach. You got it darkpoet;Joe.
“Cheers” to you
mmmmhhmmm, key words in Davids blog, “older women,” I am seeing older women myself, and enjoying it….
If a man walks up to me and said
Darkpoet and Jim,
I would much prefer a man to come up to me and say “Hello, how are you today?” I would like more men to say “Hey, I think you are attractive, how do you feel about meeting me here again or somewhere neutral that we could talk and see where it goes.”
Part of the problem with women being guarded is because we have dealt with so many rude men that will tell you anything, whether they mean it or not. I’m not saying women don’t do that too, because some do it also, usually it’s in the form of spending money on me to make me happy. I am not one of those women that likes a man for what material things he can offer. I am a woman that likes a man for him and the time he is willing to invest.
Along the lines of rude and aggressive men, I went to a party last weekend and one guy was hitting on me (it wasn’t a problem), but within a matter of 2 hours he was all over me! Before I left the party, I made sure he saw a different perspective. He made the mistake of telling me he has an 11 year old daughter and I asked him “What would you do if your daughter was sitting next to some guy just like you?” I wasn’t rude or snide. His response was “OH! Hell no!!!! It’ll never happen!” Well needless to say he backed off and I left the party.
Men, the only bit of advice is to just be yourself and just say “Hi!” when you come across someone you find attractive or just interesting. Saying “Hello” never offended anyone that I’m aware of and it will help the woman you are talking to, see you as a person, not just some creep trying to undress her.
Hunter;
Now before i say anything, if you are not an “older woman,” you will get ther, so no flack please.
The older woman, is naturally going to, or hopefully going to know what is more pleasurable to a man when it comes to conversational skills as well as sex. That comes with experience in years.
Also, I know I am an “older woman,” and am personally at the peak of sexual desire. I don’t care what anyone thinks of me for this because a person feels what they feel. I happen to feel sexually charged!
thank you ladie, i hope more of you post your opinion about this blog, i’m glad you wouldnt mind a guy being polite enough to ask you out directly. honestly it’s really reassuring, and i really do take in mind all you’re opinions. it’s so appreciated…
cheers,
Joe
First let me say I am sorry this has not a thing to do with this blog, but I cannot find the comment I am looking for.
Who told me recently that Puerto Vallarta is predominantly a Gay community? Will you please step forward! Sean—was that you?
I have a lot of gay friends so no one take offense here. I am looking for the commentor only.
Like I said. sorry but this was the only avenue I could find who told me this. Thanks
to Pei, there are women who refuse a cup of coffee from a stranger.
Joan,
You are right, most older women, no longer have business to take care of…
I have had women tell me, all a man has to say is, “hi,” if she is in a good and ready,, she will talk all day…..
…men do use the direct approach,,, when they first meet,,, with different wording. They say,,,, “I am into casual sex,” or, “I am not getting married.”
Joan,
I don’t understand the first paragraph, ending with no flack.
Its been my experience that some divorced women(not all), did not learn their lesson, on how to converse with and pleasure a man in bed, even after having several husbands and children.
I have heard therapist tell women that are “charged,” there are plenty of really cute young men running around that will gladly service you……
I also enjoyed and appreciated this Blog. Excellent. Being a Sabertooth and having the best time of my Life, I understand and relish advances of fine young studs; fresh faced eager to please me first and multiple times before themselves, and that smile when they get me to the “ahhh” moment, is breathtaking for me. I’ve a 32 year old that has been after me since April, but timing you know … ohhh …. so essential in all of life. Besides, he gets off on the challenge I present him …. hmmmm
I’ve gotten the flat out direct mince no words approach throughout my life. Perfect example; when I was in the Navy while having a beer in an off-base bar an Officer approached me (we had being having “eye sex” for a couple of weeks) and gave me one of the most steamy looks I’ve ever gotten, saying “you exude sex and I want you. I know you want me, how about Now?” I was 19yrs old, he 36 and now was perfect for a couple of weeks.
I’ve given the direct flat out mince no words approach also. In 1990, for about 6 months, again doing the “eye sex” exchange with this jaw dropping hunk who was best friends with the couple 3 houses down from mine. The new year turned and we went to war with Iraq. Cuz he used to wear a Navy baseball cap with scrambled eggs on the brim (sign of an officer) I assumed he was military. When war started, I no longer saw him down the street and again, assumed he was “over there”. Around late Feb I saw his truck in front of their house and made up my mind and initiated my plan for contact. It was pouring down rain, so I wrote him a note and stuck it in a ziplock baggie and stuck it under his windshield wiper. It said: “I figure this is the only way we are ever going to meet. My name is Taleda and this is my phone number. If you aren’t married or otherwise in a relationship, and have the desire, give me a call and let’s talk, have a beer or … something.” He called me 2 nights later, the 3rd night he came for dinner and never left. Our relationship was stormy but satisfying for 10 years. We married 6 years ago and are now divorcing. But he is still and probably always will be the measuring stick against all serious relationships I’ll ever have because of our bond, our connection not only in the bedroom but in all of Life. He hit a bump in our marriage and rather than express himself with me so WE could sort it out, he turned away from me to others. This Sabertooth won’t tolerate being cheated on and that’s that.
So, depending on whose saying it and where I’m at within myself, come on hit me like a 2×4 between my eyes with what you want, or, if I’m liking what I see, I’ll do it to you.
Honest. Direct. Hot. Comin’ at ya …
Thank you David. This was an EXCELLENT Blog. Big * for you.
Taleda, if you got a, “jaw dropping naval officer/hunk,” to marry you, you must be a very good looking woman yourself…….most officers conquests are 10′s/model looks……..I am sorry it had to end…..I have known women to be very strong….they grieve for some time….and then they say “next.”
oops, clarity clarify clear-up: naval officer in 1973-1975 when i was in the navy and 19years old (though he was gorgeous too – blond blue eyed and the way he looked in his uniform – lord have mercy!!). my jaw dropping hunk was neighbor’s friend, 1990-1991, we married 12/24/00. coincidentally he was also navy, 2 tours of nam but not an officer. 6’4″, 220lbs, black hair, mustache and dark brown eyes with golden flecks around his iris .. makes me sweat just remembering … okay okay okay. enough of remembering.
i am sorry it ended too. we were the epitome of soul mates. i still cry from missing him, BUT, considering our history when he turned away from ME the pain created was not something i could ever get over. the loss of my trust, faith, confidence, belief and innocence with respect to the marriage vows we spoke, that I spoke with honor before my family, God and Minister, well …. i was literally shattered. its tuff to wake up one morning to what you know as your life only to discover within a few hours how bloody wrong you are and 4 days later, you are gone from eveything you hold dear and precious.
anyway, thank you Hunter for your tender words of compassion, understanding and kindness.
you made me smile … “NEXT”
Hunter;
By “no flack,” i mean don’t get all bent out of shape.
As for the pleasing a man….my marriage was based on his addiction to my sexual overdrive and ability to please. Problem? That is all there was to it…SEX!
If a man can keep it up long enough, I know more than what todo to pleasure!!
About the young men?? Yes they are certainly running ramped in my world and I now have no problem—within reason, to make them happy campers and enjoy their staying power and attention!
“Service me?” LOL Yea! I think the service will be more than mutual. I am getting a sexy young testosterone jaguar, and they are getting the experience of a cougar who knows exactly hoow to please when given the chance;) Fair trade wouldn’t you say Hunter?;)
The feline kingdom is getting a little “ornery” around here… LMAO
AngelEyes, I think it is the onslaught of summers end. lol Fall looms at the door and I know I am not done with summer myself;)
Hi Hunter, yes I agree that not all women would accept a cup of coffee from a stranger and I am thinking here that it would take a mature woman who will appreciate such invitations.
I prefer the direct approach. I also recommend that everyone read the book Radical Honesty.
If I weren’t busy, and a guy that did not seem creepy said to me “Hi, I think you’re beautiful would you like to have coffee with me?” I’d say yes. If he then followed it up at the coffee store with “The only reason I asked you to coffee is because I would like to have sex with you” . . . the probability of me saying “Yes” to that is really low, however it is not rude. It makes both of our lives easier. And, it is, in fact a compliment. My most likely response if he is saying all of this respectfully and confidentitly (but not cocky) would likely be “I’m really flattered, unfortunately I’m not interested in your offer at this time and I really appreciate your honesty.”
While I might feel hurt that he wasn’t more interested in who I was, that isn’t a reflection on me, that is a reflection of who he is and I’ll get over it.
Also, yes, not all women will accept coffee from strange guys, in the grand scheme of things I’m not likely too either.
The thing I really like about radical honesty is it gives us the freedom to choose what is best for ourselves because we have more informtaion about the reality of the situation we are in. If I know a guy never wants to get married, and I do, that helps me make a more informed decision about what kind of relationship we will have.
It sounds like some of you are concerned with “tact” i.e. the concept of being rude.
A friend of mine offers this: “Tact” is the process of selectively altering the truth to manipulate some specific person into feeling better, usually about themselves or about you. Radical honesty would involve a fair amount of upset in the relatively stable structures you’ve built around you socially. Most especially in those ones that contain a fair amount of deceit or secrecy. It’s also really freaking hard.
–
Kelly, you say “Part of the problem with women being guarded is because we have dealt with so many rude men that will tell you anything, whether they mean it or not” wouldn’t it be wonderful if you knew exactly what a man meant when he said it? WOuldn’t it be great to know that all he was interested in was sex? Wouldn’t it make dating easier?
Being honest is a lot different than drooling on a girl like that guy was hanging on you.
–
The other thing that I think people miss out on, is just because you’re honest, doesn’t mean the other person has to like what you say or even stick around for anything else. The best part is, you know that the people who are around you like you for you, not being who you think they want you to be. It isn’t easy, I still find myself in situations where the next day I feel like I was not being true to who I was by saying or not saying something because of my fear of the other person’s reaction or because I did not want to deal with the consequences of honesty. But I’m working on it and I appreciate in others.
Hey Hunter,
Sorry I didn’t attend to one of your very sweet comments to me … about I must be a very good looking woman. Though you’ve not seen me, your comment/assumption about Officers and their women of choice certainly isn’t far off the mark.
I wish I had a scanner so I could send you photos of me while I was in the Navy … only 18 when I joined, what a little girl!! I look back at me and say, “wow … if I only knew then what I know now!” But, I look at me now and without ego, say, “you can still shake it down baby.”
Physical Attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder and I’m confident about me and my … ah … abilities. But it’s all my other stuff that I have to offer that I hope entices a man, or men as my single future progresses, you know?
I like all of Toby Keith’s music, but one line from one song in particular – though he’s singing about “himself” to a couple of young ladies – I really really like and it sums me up: “I ain’t as good as I once was, but I’m as good once as I ever was.”
Taleda-
I’m curious– What would you tell your past self if you could?
Taleda;
Lexi;
The statement you made about people being around you and liking you FOR you—-That is so so important to have a healthy mental state of mind as well as positive interactions with your social circle.
If I feel out of sorts around certain people, which rarely happens, BUT if it does, I bow out gracefully and try to steer clear of them in the future.
Lexi,
If we knew what the person approaching us intended when they said “I think you are attractive.” or “I like you.” would make life, especially dating easier!
I just dealt with one of those aggressive types two weekends ago and it took him 3 hours to try to get me without clothing. It made my night long and very frustrating (not sexually) and irritating.
Joan, yep, I thought you’d understand my liking that phrase!
Lexi, Hello… Well, I just reread and then typed word for word what I read into my own Blog on myspace, part of an article from an old issue of Yoga Journal on Desire, control and consequences. Too much to go into here. But along with that rereading and your question comes to mind something someone rather evil once said to me when again I mentioned “if only I could go back …” What was said to me, was “When you go back you step into the same shit that got you here in the first place, and I’ll be waiting for you, everytime.”
Going back and changing some event or an action one has done, means that the future changes … or does it? And how does it change? If I could go back in time knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t marry my first husband – but then I wouldn’t have my son, nor would I have had my daughter who is now in Heaven. Or, would I still have had them but with someone else? And would she still have died? Our Path is our Path, Karma is Karma ….
But for the purposes here, let’s see ….
I wouldn’t marry my first husband – I’d tell myself the young love we felt would eventually pass and to just have each other for a while would be enough. The polar opposites of our Selves would have become clear once our passion wore off. Because it did, but we were married and I was pregnant and we tuffed it out for 16 years.
Had I not married him, I wouldn’t have had our son, therefore I would have stayed my full tour in the Navy. I really enjoyed being “in”. Would I have stayed longer than my 6 years? Ahhh now that is an interesting question/thought and one I have no answer for.
Throughout the years I wouldn’t have indulged in intoxicating substances for the thrill and experimentation of it all because the higher plane I was looking for I eventually found thru meditation, Buddhism, Hinduism and Taoism, and Yoga. It took so long, but I had to open my Heart, Mind and Spirit, accept my Path and walk it. So, I would have told my Self NO and perhaps, would have found all I now enjoy sooner. Or would I have? Again, my Path is my Path, laid out for a certain journey.
I wouldn’t have withheld my Self from my Father out of resentment and anger because of his strict upbringing of me and the joy of the human being he was I would have come to know and appreciate much sooner than the 6 years before his death from cancer. I would have told myself he is my Father and my protector and is doing what he feels best for me and rather than resent him I would have thanked him for his deep love.
I also would have respected my Self more and disliked my Self less which would have prevented much self-destructive behaviors. I am now doing both – respecting and liking my Self more that is!
I would have told my Self that time moves quickly though it seemed to slug along and that each moment I wasted was a moment never to be had again, so fill it up with quality so my memories would be rich. And that I do now also.
Like most humans, there is much in my Life I would change if I could but who would that make me now? There’s been movies made about going into the past and changing 1 simple thing – even as simple as wearing a different top or leaving a minute sooner or later. Somehow, the outcome, the inevitable, the Path, the Fate, the end result, Karma, remains the same.
Kelly–
I’m wondering what prevented from being honest with him early on about how you felt about how he was treating you?
Ah I wasn’t asking what you would change, just what advice you would give your old self then– not that it would or could change the past– because we can’t do it. It sounds like you’ve accepted the good and the bad and transformed a lot into a positive life lesson, I hope more people are able to do that.
It sounds like your advice to yourself would be to open your heart, let anger and resentment out, make room for love, enjoy the moment and life more, that when “passion wears off” you get a better glimpse of the person as they really are and the two of you really are together, and respect yourself. I was asking because I tend to find a lot of wisdom from people when I ask this question and I found it from you too.
Thank you for sharing about your daughter. I can’t imagine what loosing a child would feel like.
lexi what you do consider “creepy” about a man? you said “If I weren
Joe–
Yes. All of that, but specifically, my safety, if I did not feel like I would be physically safe from/with this person. But in thinking about it more, creepy isn’t the right word. Because if a guy wasn’t easy to understand I probably wouldn’t talk to him either. So, to answer your question more, about what creepy is– it is also when I feel like a person is trying to manipulate me, sometimes I don’t figure this out until a little further into the interaction, but my physical safety is still not at issue. If a guy has poor hygeine, slumpy posture, speaks too quietly or quickly, has weird eye contact, or touches me at all before he starts speaking to me.
I actually wrote about an interaction I had a few years ago that I’m going to try to encapsulate now. I’m not a great story teller, so bear with me. One of my most fun and interesting “meeting a stranger” moments, happened when I was in undergrad at UCLA. I was looking at the bus info and a guy with a foreign accent and a breifcase was asking me if I knew how to take the bus system to get to a specific place. After chatting with him for a few minutes, and finding him to be one of the most interesting people I’d met in a long time, I offered that if he came to my place I’d drive him to where he was going, because I didn’t know how to use the bus system to get anywhere but home and the beach. Turns out he was a Princeton Post Doc from Georgia (the country) . . . we ended up having drinks and dinner and hours of wonderful conversation. Sex was not in the cards, but I had a wonderful time, simply because I was open to talking to strangers.
What made him not creepy, how he dressed, how he carried himself, he wasn’t encroaching on my space, the environment- day time, college bus stop, etc . . . we even had a conversation about how I decided he was safe to associate with . . . and his conclusion was that it was too bad I didn’t get into math because I’m very good intuitively at “probability”.
One other thing that simply confirmed that he was a gentleman (and were he not married and flying back to Princeton the next day would have made me very interested in him) when we were in his hotel room, he kept the door to the outide of his room open. This is a clear statement of intention and a truly gentlemanly thing to do.
So that wasn’t coffee, but it was inviting a stranger into my car, going to drinks and dinner with him and sitting in his hotel room. I also consider myself to have really good judgment when it comes to strangers.
What kept continuing our conversation and furthering the amount of time I spent with him was his genuine interest in what I had to say, and his being a genuinely interesting person. We happened to connect in a way that wouldn’t have happened if both of us were not curious people.
Does that help?
i think you’d made yourself clear somewhat,but that story doesnt seem like a direct approach, more indirect to me. i was just curious of the word creepy or what made them creepy thanks for clearing that up for me Lexi.
cheers,
Joe
Joe- if by indirect, you mean he wasn’t directly asking for sex, he wasn’t. However I see what you mean by indirect in that he asked about the bus, however that was what he was interested in at the time.
Another example is- I had a friend, again in undergad, who also happened to be in pornography. He told me the story about how he and his girlfriend met. On their first date, he showed up at her door and said “Do need a date, or do you want to fuck?” She paused, and said “I need a date.” They later went home and fucked. He was not a creepy guy. He was well groomed, in good shape (obviously cared for his body), had good body language, confidence in who he was at his core and was also truly okay with it if other people were not okay with who he was.
Heeey. I know no one asked me—but I have met “creepy” people before.
Creepy=Annoying, unpleasant, producing uneasiness or fear, and obnoxious
I can say these criteria were all pretty much met. This is when you go away and say, “What a creep!”
People are sometimes so unpleasantly annoying and obnoxious, it can cause one to feel very uneasy. The “fear factor” ??? Maybe to a certain degree.
Fear, although it is a human emotion we cannot escape in certain situations, needs to be brought under control before it paralyzes us.
Once fear gets its grip on your thoughts, it can take over causing much distress and thwart success.
An example of paralyzing fear:
When I was a teen, 14-15 somewhere in that age range, I was walking—in broad daylight—down the street headed home from school. We lived in San Clemente Ca, so there were a lot of US marines in town, the base being very close in proximity.
I was no more than a few blocks from home when this beat up silver car stopped a little ahead of me. A Marine, you could tell by the “high and tight” haircut, opened the door, stepped out fully unclothed–yes butt ass naked— and inside I became unglued!
Fear??? Oh yea. I had never felt such fear in my life. He drove away and circled the block. I felt so paralized by that fear it took every ounce of strength to breath and get home to safety. Paralyzing fear to say the least.
Now, that guy was a super freaky creepy! That is your extreme case of creepy, but if anyone causes you to feel any of the above, and especially fear—get the hell out of Dodge as tactful as possible!
Lexi. directly asking for sex never across my mind(believe or not) .i’m not interested in “just” sex, i think that would it be impossible for me to have sex with a person if i didnt get to know them a little first. . if i went up to a woman it would be because i’m interested in getting to know her on a deeper level.
Joan, that is defintely creepy shit there..
Cheers,
Joe
Darkpoet;
Yes it was creepy and scary to me. I was always aware of my surroundings even from a young age. My mother and grandmother instilled that in us as 3 girls being raised alone….be aware and ready to act if necessary. Glad it wsn’t necessary.
Did manage to get the license plate and report his sorry creepy butt:))
Hope he got a dishonorable discharge!!! Not pretty on a resume.
good head on your shoulder joan.. aye?
cheers,
Joe
Joe;
lol Well of course;) No, I just listened to what I was told while growing up for the most part. I am pretty much a jack of all trades and a master of…..some:) SOO, the head on my shoulders has a lot of potential for much growth!
ANYWHO—common sense should send those brain receptors to fireing
off some know how..no matter how scared you are….on what you have to do in certain situations.
We as humans are geared with the instinct to survive at any cost. That was all I could think, “keep your head about you or rape and murder could be it for you.”
Sucks I cannot remember where my keys are from one second to the next, but I remember things from long long ago when triggered. Hmmm The power of the human brain.
Long answer to that little question hugh Joe? lol You know me, can’t help myself;)
miss chatty… we know
cheers,
Joe
LOL miss chatty? Ok I’ll buy that;)
Cheers to you Joe darling ()
HA!! Joan if you are Miss Chatty, can I be Miss Wordy? I bet others can think of more apropos names for me … ha ha …
Have a GREAT day everyone!
Lexi,
He didn’t start out aggressive. We talked for a little why and then all of a sudden he was aggressive. I did let him know that his behavior was not acceptable right after he became aggressive, which was just about the time I left. So, basically I didn’t let him be a horse’s rear-end for very long. While we had been talking he mentioned he had an 11 yr old daughter and I asked him what he would think if his daughter was hanging out with someone that acted just like him. That was the last of the aggressiveness and my willingness to be at the party any longer.
Don’t worry Lexi, I know how to get the point that I’m not interested and the person is not welcome near me when I’m being bothered.
Nothing wrong with ballstothewalls straightforward honesty David, I indulge in it all the time, and suffer the odd looks for it as well from time to time. That being said though, there is straightforward and their is downright ignorant.
Will going up to a woman and saying ” I just want to be honest, Let’s Hump” be successful on occasion, sure it will be just as equally successful as going up to someone on the street, and saying “Hey Would you like a bite of this Poo-burger?”. Eventually someone will take you up on it.
Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then.
Have fun
!
WOW kudos David
Hi Jesse, I see the other blog brought you here too! I was curious after the last one we were on. Brian_Thorn, you are funny as hell….poo-burger? I am cracking up over here
Oh yeah, btw – another great blog you have here David.