Let Her Seek You Out
January 26, 2009 
69 Comments
So you’re at a party and you lock into “the woman.” You’ve figured out which woman is the one that you really want to get to know.
You guys converse for a few minutes, and then she walks away. And after this, you stop enjoying yourself because all you’re thinking about is “Where is she right now? Is she coming back?”
With all of these thoughts running through your head, you can’t really concentrate on the conversations you’re having with other people. This is where you make the biggest mistake.
You have to understand that the dynamic presence – the power of who you are as a person – will intrigue her. Did you intrigue her enough? If you intrigued her enough, you can just walk away.
A confident man will walk away knowing that the woman will come back. An unconfident man will follow her around and turn her off. The more you follow her around, the more she’ll start to think, “Why is this guy being so needy and following me around?”
So here is what I would do at these parties: I would talk to her for five or six minutes, and then I might tap her on the leg lightly and say, “Hey, look, I just saw a buddy of mine over there that I need to go talk to, I’ll be back in a minute. Don’t miss me too much.”
Later, I’ll come back – even if it’s twenty minutes later. Maybe she’s talking to another guy. I might whisper in her ear, “Oh man, you’ve got to stop flirting with this guy. I know you miss me!” And then I’ll walk away.
I’ll play with her like that, and I’ll keep a theme running. And what will inevitably happen is that she’ll start to try to find you.
During that time, you have to make sure that you’re talking to other people at the party. Talk to everyone, and you’d better make sure that you’re having fun! Show her that you’re enjoying yourself in other conversations.
Don’t look around the room like you’re seeking a ship on the horizon – “Where is she? Where did she go?” You have to stay present in that moment, and let her seek you out.
If you think this was easy wait till you see what is even more obvious in this video.
If you tell a woman within five or six minutes of first meeting her, “Don’t miss me too much,” you better know how to make one hell of an impression.
Johan, it’s all in how you say it.
If it was me a guy said that to he could only pull it off, if either we had laughed and he was quite funny when he said it or I at this point I was really in to him and he would say it an easy dont’ take me too serious way. But it could work, but she has to be eating our of your hands, it’s not just how you say it.
If I was not that into a person it would be a complete turnoff, more of a in my head I would think I your dreams, thanks for leaving.
Or I would give it back to you with a casual See Yaa as if I didn’t care and in the same moment wave another guy over to talk to, and let see who would be chasing who right away. Be careful with games you don’t always win, we girls can play them too.
But try it one day if you feel there is a connection, it worth a try. This way too you keep the encounters short and interesting.
No youbhave to shout it in her ear. DONT MISS ME TOO MUCH!!! ! Then smile ear to ear and walk away very fast. ;p
I think its not the point of the lines to be magic incantations, its the playfulness and an already established connection and attraction. It is about being outcome independent and being a social and fun person that can intrigue, rather than being the hovering Joe Schmoe who rides the girl like a bull.
As sad as it is I’ve seen sooo many guys following a girl around it’s not even funny anymore =/
Taras
A part of that is the mens own fault as the girl you I want to attract the beautiful ones, a lot of you miss out of great girls who you could have a great time with. You guys are lucky we don’t just look at looks
oø
David,
You should really write more on this topic even though it is fairly self explanitory
Very interesting.
Dan
Funny that this blog should come up.
My younger sister is a Sr. in High School and was at a cast party for a play she was in. A guy who graduated high school with me four years ago came up and said how he had graduated with me. And so during the party he just kept following her around. She was franticly texting me about who he was. I had said in high school he was nice but had a very needy personality, but hey he could have changed. At the end of the party he gave my sister a hug goodbye and in her head she was saying “Get your hands off me!”
… and so goes life …
Where i live is really cold so i use this dating site such as http://homegear.com/r/?q=23125922&r=1301 to find my soul mate, there is a lot of matches for me and the site has helped me a lot with finding my soul mate. But 1 of the problem is that when u hit to 40 it’s really hard to find a person to be with because most of single girls over 40 have some major problem and a lot of diplomatic situation.
Mike
What about us 48 soon to b 49 year olds? I will turn 49 years old Feb. 24.
Now to the blog:
David
Are u sure this would happen. Your right about one thing u can’t just hand them silver spoon on the platter. A person has to be willing to attract the opposite sex if not it is like fighting an uphill battle.
Ok I know what u are referring to David is a woman’s curiousity. Yes that happens to me just let my guy pull something and I wonder what are you up to now. But all is fair in love and war uh. This started five years ago and it happens to be a long story. I am the type of person I will not let anyone get the best of me. So one day as I was going home he followed me and the next couple of days I went out looking for him. Yes he did have my woman’s curiousity up. So I thought ok top this one. This is what I call the games him and I play.
But all in all it depends on the guy the woman is interested and if she wants to know what is he up to now? Has ur gf ever tried this. But the guy has to remain mysterious. And it will put that curiousity to the test. I love a challenge. I wrote a poem years ago entitled Highway Games Road Rules. Now David u finally got it out of me.
I love to work a room and talk to all the individuals there at a party. I would feel caged if someone followed me the whole time unless I was introducing the person around b/c they were new or didn’t know anyone.
If a guy whispered that to me I’d definitely keep coming back to him b/c of the playful interaction. I LOVE play like that!
So what do you guys like for us women to do to keep ya’ll coming back while we are on the subject? Does just touch work for that?
I am still not comfortable with touch — it is powerful though!
Gabrielle,
” would feel caged if someone followed me the whole time…”. That was a great perspective to share. It would have never crossed my mind a woman would feel like that in such scenario.
The answer to your Q… to me more than touch, if some I just met, keeps saying my name when we converse… that does it for me. It builds a connection. Touch is nice, but some women come accross as the “touches every dude” kind.
Yes, Mike, and then there’s the old geezers of that age group and older who are just looking for a nurse, cook, housemaid, and occasional companion…Hmmm…just what every woman wants – NOT!
As Josh’s story shows, there’s a fine line between being scary as a stalker and annoying as a piece of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of one’s heels.
Love the sport in this blog but I want to hear more too, including others’ replies to Gabrielle’s questions – not all of us are touchy-feely.
I love giving yourself in small doses to the person… this is why I like to talk to someone… then go mingle a bit and come back to that person if I really liked them.
Gabrielle,
I love good touch… but I like having fun with the girl too… if she shows herself to be playful and enjoyable, I’ll come back for sure!
Gabrielle,
Guy’s worth your time should come back no matter what. Afterall, isn’t it kind of natural for the guy to approach the girl (in most cultures that is) and display his interest in her? Having that said, the best thing I could recommend is eye contact. I know that ladies are the masters of using eye contact, but perhaps use it a little more. All you really have to do is hold it a little longer, or perhaps do a double/triple take from the distance. When I look at a group of people, naturally anyone looking directly at me will grab my attention. If they are smiling, then they will probably grab my attention more. If that happens several times, I MUST talk to that person! Even if it’s just to find out if I should be flirtacious…or worried for my own safety!
I love the cultures where touch is such a natural thing, way too often people turn is into this sexual tension thing. Touch and feeling another persons arm breaks barriers and makes you feel more connected. But it can’t be done with a thought process “I hitting on her/him” when you just meet but in a playful warm way.
My family lives in souther europe and watching how people interacts with their “body touching” and flirt innocently all the time is amazing.
Mike what kind of major problems and diplomatic situation, just curious. Maybe you heard of the age calculations for men and their ideal girl. It’s 1/2 x mans age + 7 years = ideal womans age.
this is the kind of shit the NYC wiseguys were always throwing around. If that is the case my man should be around 65. Ouch I think I am turning lesbian today LOL
What is too aggressive for women to approach men, is it still still that men has to approach women(seems a bit antiquated) or does that have more to do with the age groups. The very confident/succesful men I have ever meet they don’t need that roleplay. They are as comfortable with the women being the one to approach as themselves, they have moved way beyond the realm of them having to abide to those social rules. But then again at heart I am more of a tomboy than a girly girl.
Marina!
Remember the age formula:
A man is as young as he feels, a woman is as old as she is.
J-Dude
The formula woman tells man I really like u on the first date=run run like the wind in the man’s mind out the door and into the car.
Sex
Woman has sex with guy on first date+trophy gained+the following morning speaks to guy about having a relationship=never see guy anymore. It is like I have been told:
1. Find Them
2. Fool Them
3. Finger Them
4. Fuck Them
5. Forget Them
I made this one up years ago and it made one of my female friends laugh like crazy.
1. Find Them
2. Fool Them
3. Stroke Them
4. Fuck Them
5. Flee Them
J-Dude
It goes both ways no matter how u measure it. Oh by the way do u need a flashlight a pair of tweezers and magnifying glass to find urs. Or does someone have to walk up behind u with a two by four and slap ur ass and yell snake to get him up. These are the things guys have told me in the past. Boy o boy do u guys like to talk about the adventure the night before.
Sandra you left him speechless…That’s my girl
J-Dude
Yeah but this will be you one day !
First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down. ~Leo Rosenberg
Gabrielle,
See I am opposite have no problems with touch but terrible at working the room and small talk with everyone. I have no fear discussion any subject but light small talk is not my strenght.
Your cure might be to start dancing, I know everyone seems to into it know but it’s a great way to over exposed to touching.
As K and Gabrielle said what can we women do besides eye contact to make you come back, just short of us begging you
Is there something non traditional we can do. Besides Clingy etc. is there other things that are a no-no so lets leave out the obvious in the responses we are talking the subtle stuff me might miss
Marina, Sandra–
After all the love from you, I’ll have to change my name to “formerly J-dude” and go incognito!
“formerly J-dude”
that’s cute but we need some more responses to how we can make you come back as J-dude and get some more love from you..
Oh J-Dude
I still love u
I like to slow dance with a man the closeness to his body to mine.
J-dude did you join the other side..
Marina
U go girl
Hmm is that the way I can get him to chase me.. or was it too obvious..
You want it come and get it,, haha good stuff
Since David had to bring the comments people leave on his lovely sun shades up …I will continue with the Daphne Choker Bracelet…Alright I will leave it alone today.
This is what happens when you have way too much time on your hands..back to work.
Everyone go out there and stalk someone today….
Marina
I would if I could but it sleeted here in Tennessee. I am off today. I just prayed that my trailer roof could handle all that ice.
Sandra,
Are you trying to tease DanTheNotSoOriginal out of his Cabin…Now who is seeking who out here..Ya know girl he loves his little traler stories. He will be coming running like a little puppy today..
Aaron
you boys are like dogs chasing a ball, mindless and keeps on doing it all day, it just never stops.. Well just like my Choker Bracelet comment..some men even thinks they are dogs and start dressing like them..On offense my dad does it too and we relentless tease him about it.
Marina
I hate to break it to him gently but I already have a stalker that loves little trailers. I stalk him just as much as he stalks me.
Anyone wants to do house work any takers bbl. lol
Kheim
Since u were so nice to me I added as a friend on the community site. I will be honored to be coached by u or Yakub. See u there.
BBL: Have to do housework and go to see the dentist.
you as a friend…..sorry
Marina,
Careful, I’ve been known to bite sometimes…
J-Poodle
Oh well, I prefer the ones that licks instead of biting…anyway
This is way too funny Sandra:)
1. Find Them
2. Fool Them
3. Finger Them
4. Fuck Them
5. Forget Them
anyhow, it would be a honor to have you as well!!
Marina,
You scared? Lil bite don’t hurt…
J-Poodle I am too big for anybody to take a bite of me LOL
Yakub Flee them was the funny one, forget is easy
Yakub
Well I have to think about that if I did would u put my trophy on the top shelf. Me and my friend was talking (female) I was telling her about the trophies men collected. And we were talking about what shelf to put them on. I said well those who did the trick will go on the top shelf as Studs. Then there would be the in between shelf for the well at least he tried and the bottom shelf would be for the ones better give it another try or just left us with a one night stand.
David
I wonder there are times when I get jokes through my email from my daughter and one of my friends I was wondering if u mind if I sent them to u as well? Now some of the are dirty jokes and I have a picture of a two people getting it on. On top of a car.
J-Dude
I have a question? What about if the girl was giving u head and decided to bite but not too hard and take her teeth and lightly touch go up ur shaft.
Sandra,
Why don’t you make a forum topic, dirty jokes, everyone is so serious in there..
Sandra, honey–
I thought you said I needed tweezers to find mine…
J-Dude
Have u ever measured him. The guys I say that too would come back with I will show u what he looks like. Then she can come back with If u show me urs I will show you mine. But it depends on the person and if they are interested.
Sandra,
Am I causing a wet puddle over there in Tenesee…
Sandra,
That a great one, forget about all these head games about seeking each other out…You want somebody just get the f…… thing done already..
J-Dude
I let u down gently. Only one that can do that is the one I nicknamed my vibrator after. Let me see him and I go nuts.
Sandra,
Don’t beg!
Marina
You got that right. Ask him what u have in ur pants or just look down when he is wearing tight jeans and imagine what he can do with it. It is not what u have it is what u can do with it.
J-Dude
I don’t have to beg all I have to do is go after what I want. Catch my drift and leave him wanting more.
Oh guys
If I get my tooth pulled and u don’t hear from me I will be resting that novicaine has a tendency to wear off. Today after 3:30pm cst. I will be on a liquid diet. But u will see me shortly on the blog and in the community.
Sandra,
No no add the Kegelmeister..then you get your daily dose of firming exercise..
Marina
I might ought to give that a try sounds interesting. Hey thanks for adding me as your friend on face book. I hope you enjoyed my pics of my family. I don’t have pics of my parents. They requested me not to put theirs up on facebook.
Ok computer down time is now have to go and pick up child and go to the dentist. See you all soon.
Just to note that Dan is very allergic to trailers:-)
Man of few words you are now..
Thats no fun
J-Dude — oh yeah, totally feels like that to me at least. That’s great about saying your name, I didn’t think about that. I’ll try that next time!
Zero – yeah, eye contact is definitely a way to show interest. Yeah, David has said that before about the eye contact and smiling. I forget about that! Ok – I am definitely going to use these next time!
THanks for the tip, Marina! I love dancing and might have go do that soon!
Sandra – are we able to sign up for the men’s community site too? I was wanting to (even though I am not a man)!
Khiem — are you saying that even if a playful woman did not touch you, you would still come back to play some more?
Of course Gabrielle…. b/c not all women are touchy feely. Eventually, she’ll have to get comfortable with touch though… b/c I like it… but at the beginning, her not touching doesn’t mean that she can’t be interesting and fun to me.
Gabrielle,
just get on the site….we did not care..besides I think now after I signed up, they have special 1 months rates. worth for you to sign up as a platinum member..
Gabrielle
I am with the silver site and it is where u will find us if you can afford it. We are chatting right now.
Touch a man that has not romanced in a long time, and he will follow you around.
Dude, this works here’s another i used on a girl: after a totally great/intense text session i said “try not to think about me” psychologically this MAKES her think about you. USE IT!!!! I’m gonna use “don’t miss me too much” tomorrow.
your new share!
Wow, is the comment section reduced to a bunch of middle school, teen comments now? Yea, let’s have fun, but good grief, keep it interesting, at least.