Kiss Close By David Wygant
Something that is so funny is that so many guys try to get a kiss close.
For those of you that don’t know pick-up language, a kiss close is when you meet a woman in a square in Europe, or you meet a woman in a bar, or wherever, and you get a kiss close. This means you talk to her for like five or six minutes and then you get a kiss close.
But what is so funny, and what most guys don’t think about is this: that doesn’t validate you!
So you kissed some random woman? If she was so up for kissing you, you don’t know who’s dick she had in her mouth the night before! So basically you’re kissing someone’s dick from the night before. Think about that.
Not only that, but I know guys that have kiss closed women in bars, and I’ve seen it – they’ve actually kiss closed a woman in a bar, and they come over and they are so proud of it – all of a sudden I’ll see that woman making out with some other dude in the corner, grabbing his crotch.
Now the thought of sticking my tongue in a woman’s mouth that’s probably already gone down on some other dude doesn’t really appeal to me!
The fact is: why do you want to kiss somebody that you don’t even know? She could have the flu! She could have a really nasty cold. She could be skanky. She could have a cold sore – why do you have to validate yourself by kiss closing a random woman?
That doesn’t make you a man. It’s silly, it’s ridiculous, and it’s one of the dumbest things – this is why these guys call themselves ‘puas’. What does ‘pua’ stand for? Once again, every time I say it: it’s a pick-up asshole!
Basically you’re an asshole running around trying to pick up women all day long instead of learning how to attract women. Stop trying to pick them up – they’re not weights! You can’t lift them up over your head or curl them!
“Hey man, let’s pick up some women today,” “cool, I picked up two today, let’s put them on either side of a stick and just lift them and get a good workout,” right?
If you really want to pick up some women, lay down on the ground, I’ll throw one on top of you, and let’s see how many women you can bench press.
But that kiss close thing – this has always been something that has really repulsed me. Granted – I’m not a prude, I’m not an asshole, I have definitely gone out and had my share of make out sessions with random women in bars – when I was drunk and loaded.
But think about it as a sober person: think about where her mouth has been. Think about it: if she’s so willing to kiss you so quickly, think about where her mouth could have been ten minutes before.
Now do you still want to kiss close those lips?
Or would you rather spend the time, get to know her, and turn her into a dynamic, passionate, sexual being that absolutely indulges every inch of your body?
If you want that, I’ll tell you about it another day!
Hey David,
You couldn’t be more right dude! I love your blog, and you are one of the few dating instructors I actually respect. Thanks for the blog, and thanks for being such a genuine person!
- TR
I’ve only tried for make-outs in a club a few times, and I have to admit it was very fun and exciting in the moment. The tension and attraction was through the roof and the look on my friend’s face was priceless.
To me it’s the attitude it’s done with. Here’s two scenarios:
Number 1
I was on a roof-top bar in SF. I started talking to 2 girls and a guy (who looked like he needed a wingman). The guy thought I was trying to steal the girls from him, got all huffy, and ended up leaving. Eventually one of my friends came along and started talking to one of the girls. I got to flirting with my girl, the alcohol started talking, and we started kissing. We made quite a spectacle of ourselves.
It was fun but there was nothing lasting or significant about it. I did it because I knew I could, and because it was flashy. We never talked again after that night.
Number 2
I was in a salsa club. She and I started teasing each other almost as soon as we saw each other. The flirting was rich and then tension was thick. We started dancing closer and closer, holding each other like we meant business. I led her outside. It was a warm, muggy night and we could hear the music, so we started dancing again. We got so close our faces were almost touching, looking right in each other’s eyes. She said “I know what you’re thinking… but I have a boyfriend, and my brother is here.”
I kissed her forehead and we went inside. We still have a crush on each other and we still talk to this day.
Which would you rather have? It’s not about the kissing. It’s about the connection and the chemistry.
– Patrick
David this is so true! Yeha I have also once been that cheesy make-out guy, but really what does it give you? nothing on a deeper level, but I suppose for a guy who can’t do that then he must be in paradise :p
I really agree with you, its time to get over all this pick up stuff and really take the time to get to honestly attract awesome girls.
thanks for the blog today!
Nathan
Men need to stop trying to validate themselves in trivial ways.
The guys who try to kiss close are the same guys who brag to their friends about it so they can be the big man!
They want to brag about and sound cool so they validate themselves in their eyes and their friends eyes!
What Patrick described in his post is passion in the moment and kiss close and passion are 2 totally different things.
I am all about creating real passion and sharing a kiss based on a hunger for each other!
But to walk over to a woman with the sole purpose of trying to kiss her is a waste of time!
So what you get to have a kiss with a stranger.
In the long run in means nothing and this is all about becoming a powerful man that women desire!
That is why I refuse to even teach childish pickup stuff.
On another note, I just got back from Hawaii and it was amazing.
I should have quit while I was ahead with my surfing lessons.
Let’s just say that I will not be sitting down much today!!
The lower back is nice and sprained!
Tr
Thanks and you know I totally agree with you.
I am one of the few dating guys I respect!!
I always tell people to find the coach or guru that resonates with your core.
Once you find that person stick with them and push yourself to become what you desire!
So many choices out there and I am glad you made the right one:)
You know what’s funny why do you always feel like you need a vacation when you first get back from one?
Driving around la today made me miss every second of my trip!
Thats the kinda stuff i did to girls when i was 16 lol
i remember making out with a girl in a party used to be all exciting (it still is sometimes), but now it just doesn’t cut it any more. And often times its more about the ego saying ” wewt i kissed that chick” than its really about enjoying the cute girl sitting next to me. Great blog David!
Man, you’re so damn right!
PS. PUAs sux at doing spontaneous stuff.
I personally like to hold off the kiss to build the tension, passion and desire until we can’t hold it anymore…. or at least until I am truly isolated with her in a 1-on-1 situation.
That’s when the REAL fun can happen.
A kiss means nothing if it can’t lead to something “more”.
David, I still enjoy reading your blogs.. BUT I came to think of something while reading this one: I may be mistaken, but I feel there are some condradictions in the messages that you are giving in your blogs..
You said in one of your earlier blogs that to be rich is to love yourself etc etc. (which was an awesome blog btw!!)Then when I read your other blogs I couldn’t help but to notice that you repeat this quiet a few times: “be a man that women desire!” It seems as if you motivate guys with the “wrong” kind of “goal”.. How about being a man that you yourself can be comfortable with, regardless of what women desire? Women will love guys for who they are, not because they are the kind of men that we desire..
I hope you catch my drift here? But then again, this is what you “sell”, or what you do, right? I mean, guys come to you for this purpose.. to become a man that women desire..
Hmmm.. anyone? (I’m probably mistaken though)
JustMe,
It doesn’t seem like too grandiose a goal, but maybe the way these guys really want to be is to be successful with the girls. So by “being a man that women desire” they are also being the man they desire…
GOD! you are funny and on the spot as usual!
hey david,
just want to say your stuff is great and very innovative, but at the same time i think there’s very positive aspects of PUAs as well and what it does for some guys.
keep doing what your doing, and i’ll be sure to bookmark your blog.
SoCalStan
Just curious…. I have been dating a guy for a while now and in coversation I told him the thought of being with 2 men at 1 time turned me on. He says he has a friend that would ‘really enjoy me’….. I agree with you why would any straight man want to follow right behind another man. Especially in bed. Is it possible or even probable he/they are bi-sexual?