It’s Time to Get Naked
January 15, 2012 
20 Comments
They were so right. You had an amazing first three weeks. Everything seemed absolutely perfect.
They had good pedigree. They were successful and age appropriate. They were good-looking. They followed up with phone calls. Then all of a sudden—poof—they just vanished.
You’re in shock. You can’t believe that this one went away. You felt like it was the perfect kind of a relationship. You really felt like you were ready for it. You really needed this relationship because you were so tired of dating. You were tired of putting yourself online and having nothing happen. You were tired of going to the parties and heading out to the same bars and restaurants. You felt like this was the one.
Here’s the deal: everything that you’ve ever known about dating is wrong. During those three weeks you never kept a dating journal. See, Mr. and Mrs. Perfect do not exist. What we do when we date is we get caught up in what I call the oxytocin moment. We get caught up in this wave of emotion, like a drug is released in our bodies.
It feels so good to be rescued from being single. But in reality, the warning signs are there from the beginning. I tell everybody in my very new book, Naked, to keep a dating journal, and write down how you feel at the end of each date. How does this person make you feel? Do you feel desired? Do you feel excited? Take it even deeper. Do you keep a journal where you know exactly the way you need to feel in a relationship?
My new book Naked goes really deep into dating. It gets you to fall in love with the most important person in your life: you. Because when it comes down to dating, most of us date based on needs. I need to have a relationship. I need to no longer be single. I need to find somebody different because the last person didn’t treat me well.
What Naked does is it takes everything down to the root and allows you to forgive everything that’s gone on in your life and allows you to embrace all the lessons you’ve learned. But more importantly, it gets you to fall in love with who you are as a person. It allows you to realize that you’re an amazing catch.
Naked is almost 200 pages of daily exercises that help you no longer date out of need, out of frustration, or out of desperation. When it comes to love, in order to find someone to love you the way you need to be loved, you need to love yourself first. You need to take yourself out on dates. You need to do things for yourself. You need to feel amazing and wonderful and you need to strip yourself down of all your fears and become naked. You need to forget about past failures and learn from them.
But more importantly, you need to know exactly what you want going into that date, emotionally. Because when it comes down to dating, all it is is based on feelings. How did you feel at the end of a date? Most of us have never asked that question, because we always date based on wants, needs, and desires.
It’s time to change the way you date. It’s time to get naked.
Dave
I had gotten ur book before Christmas and received it shortly after…after i finish the book i am reading it wont take long i plan on reading ur book and getting back with u on it….luv u dave
Will have to check it out
So I just checked the book hit number 1 in the dating category on Amazon.
Thanks everyone for all the support.
And anyone who has read it and finished can you post a review.
I want to keep the book in the top ten!!
And how about the Giants…anyone see that coming?
Love the book! It pretty much sum up to what you want and how to get it. But! You break it down to a science of What is it that you Really want and Be real. Not the mediocre type of relationship but the Best relationship – for a mature adult.
(because certain people are not needing to seek a fulfilling relationship, as long as they can get a certain benefits from that relationship or we call it “The Situation”, then they don’t need to do so much)
Thought the Packers were going straight to the Super Bowl ;-(
-NE fan-
I’m a quarter of the way through already with Naked! You bet I’m going to post a great review a.s.a.p.
and that game was mindblowing! Heartbreaking loss for the Packers though, but a well deserved win for the Giants.
@David what was that saying about Any Given Sunday, not just in football or sports but in life as well?
Giants have no chance against my Niners!
David Wygant- Hey David you say you need to love yourself. Could you say that loving your self is confidence????
Congratulations on the number one status, David! You must be very proud!
I am going to try the e-book version. I don’t have kindle, but it will work on something, surely?!?
Well David – I have already learned something. I have been pushing relationships back because I am very happy where I am at right now. I don’t want any complications. I thought the fact that I didn’t ‘need’ anyone meant that I was in a space that was too selfish to have someone around. Maybe not…
Now if you will excuse me I am off to do a diagonal star- fish in my bed and go to sleep. Why? because I can – there is no one else to consider!!!
I had to look up “diagonal starfish” on Google. I thought (and was hoping) that it was a sexual reference.
Julio,
yeah, loving yourself is confidence. And not the super macho man confidence, but the kind that makes you truly believe there is nothing life can throw at you that you can’t handle.
It’s the absolute belief that you’re alive for a reason and that you are living the life you are meant to live. I could go on, but that’s the gist of it.
thanks dan i feel more confident already
Dave Im just download your kindle version, i wont regret for sure! Its going great, i’m divorce but having a great and growing expirience dating, every day i love myself more, and though i have not found the one, because of my one fear of falling and commit, I found myself in the right path…so Txs!!! You are giving me that last push I need to be radically honest with myself and others!! And take that fearfully energy again!!!
besom from Mexico
Tess
You wont regret buying that book I am reading it now…it has some points that even described me and i plan on putting some of it to use…especially the monkey chatter in my brain…there are times that it will make you laugh even…i know i was sitting in the break room at work and started laughing at what i was reading and it reminded me what i was doing…enjoy for i did and i am about finishes i have eighty some pages to go.
I’m going tomorrow to the bookstore to find this book. I hope it helps. As Leannes said, I’m comfortable being alone. The biggest reason is I hate feelings. It hurts to love someone, to miss them, to wish they would call or text…. Is this weird? Guess you can say I’m afraid after two failed marriages and being hurt. Hope your book can help me. I need to know that there can be love without more hurt.
Gwen
I have been down that road a time or two myself…It takes time to heal your pain…take it one day one step at a time…do not rush…
Sandy
I’ve been on my own coming up on 2 years now and I thought I was healed. Then I realized I’m pushing people away because I can’t stand to “feel” anymore. I just don’t know if that’s normal. I like being with someone but as soon as I start feeling like I could possibly start loving them…I push them away. I want to, I just can’t.
Thank you. I appreciate your support.
Gwen
your welcome…