Is There Someone For Everyone?
February 24, 2009 
61 Comments
I received an email the other day from a woman which truthfully broke my heart. She emailed me expressing serious doubt that there really IS someone out there for everyone. Then she asked me my opinion on that very question: Is there someone out there for everyone?
There are more than six billion people in the world today. So you have to believe that the answer to that question is yes.
There are so many people out there, and so many great people to meet. If you’re not out there taking action meeting and talking to people, though, I can see why you might have such a “doomsday” attitude questioning whether there is someone out there for everyone.
I get a lot of emails like this one from people. People email me looking for some “magic pill” to fix their dating lives. They want me to give them the one answer that will fix everything.
What kind of answer does someone want who writes to me asking whether there is someone for everyone — yes?! I am not a messiah or a prophet. I’m not a psychic. The answer to that question all depends upon whether YOU believe that there is someone for everyone.
I am someone who can absolutely teach you the skills you need to meet someone (and to meet the most amazing someone), but you need to invest in yourself and really believe, learn and embrace what I teach to make that happen.
So many people email me looking for the magic cure to all their dating issues. So many people send me emails that are prefaced by something like “If I could just know this one thing…” or “If you could just answer this one question…” It’s really just never that simple, though, and it takes a lot more to really make a change in your dating life.
That is why I’ve developed products, write my blog and have a membership site. It takes time to alter and authentically change your belief system. The truth is that nobody can change your belief system for you. I can show you the way, but you need to do the work on yourself and change it.
So back to the original question from my female reader “Is there someone out there for everyone?” The answer to that question is an unequivocal YES. Not only is there someone out there for everyone, but there are amazing people to meet along the way while you’re out there finding that special someone.
It all starts, however, by learning the basic skills of how to interact with people. If you don’t have the basic skills or you refuse to learn the basic skills (and a lot of people DO refuse to learn them), then you will always feel like it’s “doomsday” in your love life.
Life is a great journey. Take a step every day, and you’ll meet great people.
Today’s video is a repeat on what i feel is the problem with today’s men. We are all guilty of this and need to embrace this message if we really desire happiness.
I thought you guys would like this. It makes you think for a second why some people cant understand why men and women cant connect.
Subject: Her/his diary
HER DIARY: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.
Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong. He said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’ When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep -I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
HIS DIARY: My Harley wouldn’t start today, but at least I got laid
>>>>>>>>HIS DIARY: My Harley wouldn’t start today, but at least I got laid
LOL, thanks!
lmao loving his diary
Dan
I know it is exactly the way men think. Its funny but also sad becuase they need to undersatnd how women think.
Danny
what would you write in your diary?
I don’t know David…There are a lot of people I cannot imagine ANYONE finding desirable as a partner. Some pretty dog-lookin’ women out there. Everytime I hear you tell women that bulls*%* about men liking all kinds of women I laugh. No man wants a fat chick. Period. Once again, can’t we not be PC – at least on this site?
Sure I think it’s possible for everyone to meet a compatible person, but there are a few caveats to that —
First I totally agree with you that love doesn’t fall into your lap, you have to go out and make an effort to find it.
Second, I think people have to be open to find someone, meaning not say I will only meet a certain person of a certain height, eye color or with a certain job, or car.
Third, I think there are MANY someones for everyone, not just “one perfect person.”
Jerry
You need to open your eyes. All men love different body types and there are plenty for everyone.
What makes you such a great catch?
David,
It’s all about attitude, man. It’s that whole “if you think can you’re right, and if you think you can’t you’re right too” thing. If you convince yourself that there is noone out there for you, then you know what? you’re right!
I think this guy’s life is improving…
Tomorrow perhaps his Harley will start, plus get a BJ the same day!
Liz
I think we have many soul connections in life where we can learn from each other.
But once we learn our lesson we move on and grow and find someone who we can experience more with
i think this woman who wrote you is a “fairytale” gal — thinks that to be happy she has to see her prince charming in a glowing light across a crowded room.
she wants to know not if there is anyone for her, but if she will ever find this true love/soulmate she dreams about…that is exactly what will keep her from having a truly great relationship with anyone. no man will be what she imagines. she doesn’t want to be in love, she wants to be in love in a romance novel.
i believe we can be madly in love and have a true soul connection (as you call it david) with a number of different people. If not, then God is playing a cruel joke on anyone whose ‘soulmate’ is killed in a car accident or who lives half-way across the globe. so is there someone for everyone –yes! lots of someones!
Dave, Yes there is someone for everyone but some definitely have more choice than others.
j
as always you choose your words wisely:)
some women and men do have fairytales.
what i always ask people is
have you ever met someone who fits your fantasy mode?
chew on that one for a bit
Jamie
attitude is everything in life but you really need to believe what you feel
I am so sick of this kind of attitude like the one this woman has who wrote to you.
I know the temptation is to feel sorry for her, but when are we going to stop complaining about our situations in life, and start DOING something about it?!
Her question also implies a lack of belief that there is someone (anyone in fact) for her, and with that attitude its no wonder she feels compelled to ask the questions. A self-fulfilling prophecy if I’ve ever heard one!
Blair
That is all mindset my friend.
You need to practice abundance.
You dont sound like you have an abundance mentality
I personally believe there is noone out there for me.
But I’m extremely picky.
Mike
We know you are picky:)
That is a good thing you are a great guy!!!
Jerry got got the award for catch of the day !!
Believe it or not but at 230 I still have men hitting on me and they are not losers. Yes I did get more “offers” when I was at 135, but regardless of size it’s not impossible. Men too like to be with some one they can have fun with. Your attitude can go a long way, there are men out there that are not shallow.
Mike
I love you and think u r a great guy. You are nice and every dog has his days. Even I do. I happen to be selective in my men also.
Okay let me get out my crystal ball here is there someone for everyone? UMM! Let me guess I believe there is but we have to take the time and effort to get our lives straighten out first and get the willpower up and say I am going to meet someone. It is something that I was told I am going to be happy even if it kills me. In life what you seek you shall find.
David
Did u look in your crystal ball or get out that magic wand of yours to make her feel better? When you get the Eyes Of God let me know so we all can go Las Vegas and win some money.
lol humor in all of this.
We all have fantasies of that perfect mate we would like to have. I have a question though when will my prince charming come in and sweep me off my feet? So we can ride in the sunset together instead of wanting to run like hell?
LOL
Marina
I agree with you. I can be down to my lowest and a guy will come up and ask me what is the matter?
Hi David
I also used to think the same for a time but realised I had two choices, I could do nothing and my soul would slowly wither away or open my eyes to the possibilities which were around, I then realised that I had had many opportunities come my way but that I had been blinded by my negative attitude and inaction
I firmly believe that it is our own attitudes and intentions which influence and create the world we perceive because these filter what we conciously register and act upon, there are limitless choices we make every single day which determine how our future constructs itself, all built on the fabric of our own beliefs, you form your own world by your own mindset
How many people does this woman know who have met someone special? I bet she knows hundreds of people, who are just normal people and not magicians or superhuman, have normal jobs, yet they somehow met that special person,
We first need to meet ourselves and recognise how special and amazing we are before we are ready to realise that special person when they enter our lives
David,
Thanks! And I’m glad you picked up on my sarcasm.
And to use logic to solve this problem:
If you are with someone and you make the commitment to yourself to be with that person, then yes, for you at that moment in time, there is one person who is perfect for you. But if you go through every day that you aren’t with someone like that thinking about why it isn’t your turn to find that special someone, then you are defeating yourself from the moment you say you can’t find that special person.
It is the act of connecting with the person that makes them special and the bond unique.
Mike
Re: All Men are 18
I think men of all ages are just genetically or naturally wired if you will to find a young, healthy & fertile, physically attractive woman. In the same way that women have their own natural tendencies to look for a tall, strong & rugged looking Alpha male who looks like he can protect them and also provide for them. Men are just naturally looking for the kind of pretty & healthy girl with healthy skin, complexion, sparkle in her eyes and nice figure who will be a good mate for them and give birth to healthy, intelligent, Alpha male & female children. It’s kind of the way nature intended. But not all men are going to be Alphas(ditto for women)and because of any number of things, including socio & economic status, many people end up having to settle for less than Prince Charming or Prince Valiant. Or Miss USA, Miss Universe, or Miss February. Or the prom queen or cheerleader.
I hate to say this, and I know I’ll get flamed, but so many of the women on the online dating sites look like the circus fat lady or the tattooed lady or a combination of the two. Remember “Mimi” that fat, ugly, obnoxious boss woman with the curly hair and circus clown eye shadow from the Drew Carey Show several years ago? That’s the type I’m talking about. Except Mimi was better looking than many of the women I’ve run across on those dating sites. I think Jabba the Hut would be a better description or comparison. Given the choice between being married to that or staying single, I’d rather just stay single. That might sound cruel, but it’s honest, fwiw.
I’d like to learn what you have to teach David, so I won’t have to settle. So I can find a 21 yr old or 31 yr old or 41 yr old woman of quality & class.
A man I remember well and respect from my youth told a bunch of students, guys & girls alike. “Don’t settle. If you have any doubts about the quality of the person you’re dating, not just looks, but also character and intelligence along with health & lifestyle, don’t think that you have to marry that person just because you think you can’t do any better. Because you can! It’s better to aim high. No, there’s not a perfect person out there, none of us are perfect, but if you choose to aim low, you WILL be disappointed!”
Tony
Very confident independent women are more looking for a intellectually stimulating man we don’t feel we settle because of looks. Great sense of humor added to the mix is great. Can’t wait for the day when men start thinking with more than their digs.
Jerry
Get ur act together and u wont find any hour glass shaped women here. I am overweight so that means u r one less that I have to worry about. Can’t hang with the big dogs get off the porch man. Go to a stripper club or something.
Marina,
Are you saying that if a guy is intellectually stimulating, you will do him, even if:
1. he’s fat
2. he wears white socks w dark pants
3. he’s missing some teeth
4. he clear his throat a lot
1&2 I wouldn’t judge some one on either of these two. 3 have meet plenty of beautiful men and women in my life with a missing tooth besides 3 of my familymembers are dentists. 4 can’t say that would be attractive..
Have to say J, that was really a very honest sincere moment for you describing yourself…I guess you get bonus points for your sense of humor.
There is not only someone out there for everyone, there are multiple people out there that every single person could be compatible with. If she’s not Ms. Right, she could be Ms. Right Now!
number two is horrible!!!! same guy wears socks with sandals.
j-dude. you are pretty good at the evolution argument. I’ve heard that argument from some of the best salesmen in the world, and it can stick in the brain, if that’s what you want.
But what that argument always fails to address is, if it is a desire based on evolution (whatever you want to call it) then why are you ignoring the fact that we have evolved past that stage as well. Problem is, we are in the transition phase, and the guys who keep thinking like you are going to be the ones phased out.
Keep looing for the answer if you want, there’s a better one out there. All it takes is understanding that the story you are telling with your life can fit with anyone else’s story and still come out with a phenomenal ending. It is all in how you want to tell it.
Mike
I believe there is someone out there for everyone, even if you are picky, I happen to be very picky myself. I’ve had a couple girlfriends who never met the description of what I felt was the perfect girl for me, but they had a good personality. So when a more attractive girl came along, my eyes would wander. I didn’t have what I wanted so I’m currently single awaiting my perfect girl. And trust me, MY perfect girl has flaws. I know looks fade away, but that’s later in life. RIght now I want to be able to be say, “That’s my sugar, she’s real gone and I love her!” She’s the reason I’m not teasin’ other girls passin’ by!” (<<<from a song called That’s My Sugar)
You have to connect in three areas: physically, mentally, and spiritually. We are triune beings and in order to be compatible, i feel, there needs to be a connection in those three areas.
So there’s a girl out there for me. And people, esp. men, if you believe in the God of the bible then you must trust God in that He will bring the woman to you, just like He brought Eve to Adam. It doesn’t mean you don’t go out and meet people. David Wygant has a wonderful site here that will increase your chances of meeting the “one.”
Take his advice because it’s the best out there.
J-Dude
There is a judge in my hometown and guess what he wears his Judge’s suit with a pair of tennie shoes. Hey I think he is married though.
MAC
I agree with u on that but you forgot one.
1. Physically
2. Mentally
3. Spiritually
4. Oneness
Yes the sex counts in a relationship this brings back the oneness that started in the beginning. There is more to this that I am saying.
I think david is absolutely correct. There are many men who like women of different shapes and sizes but even most of us guys fantasize about having the playboy bunny for a wife or girlfriend but I’m here to tell ya, if she doesn’t have anything going for her in the brain department it isn’t going to be nothing more than a quick romp between the sheets and even then she might be as cold as a fish. Then what good is she? Looks will only go so far and then that gets old real fast. Who wants to date a complete narcissist? That goes for both men and women.
great post here today, and enjoyed reading everyone’s comments.
today was my birthday, i was calm, i pondered about the past years, how far i have come, and how i am always evolving as a person, just like everyone, especially past couple of years working with David, i have really blessed beyond any measure.
and just few minutes back, i was reading someones post from the member site, and i realized i used to be just like that guy, really nervous, didn’t believe in myself, and i had to work on myself after taking a bootcamp with David, i had to give myself to people, i had to believe in myself, like David mentioned. I really had to think out of the box, to evolve as the person that I’ve always wanted to become.
Tom- the narcissist are too busy thinking about their looks to care about a real person, why the hell someone want to be with one, until i dated one, thank goodness i am not with that woman anymore. Those type just don’t get it what it means to be a real person!
To answer the original question… I don’t think so, but I hope to find someone who proves me wrong.
Alright a little late Happy Birthday Yakub. Hope you had a great day.
Today’s subject is like the mantra of that self-help guru of the 70′s and 80′s out of Arizona – “create your own reality.” I had a co-worker who went bananas over the whole program. And isn’t that really the common sense of it all? We come here to get the tools to do just that – mostly because what we’ve been doing hasn’t worked. We have been doing the same things over and over expecting a different result. Talk about totally nuts….
Do I think that there is someone for everyone? Yes and no. I believe that there are people for all of the different times of our lives but we have to be open to finding them (or them finding us). Nothing mystical or magical about it. Just come to terms with needing to find better tools to do the job of finding those people because our own methods have not given us the best results. I think that we may sometimes outgrow people as we experience more of life – not necessarily in just the bad times but also in the good times. And sometimes they outgrow us and the lesson, once learned, can be painful to acknowledge – especially if you’re the one left in the dust.
I love that “don’t give a shit” mindset of moving on after every little so-called unsuccessful venture. We should just consider it a practice swing and keep practicing. It’s only unsuccessful if you hadn’t done it at all or learned nothing from it. And you need lots of practice to be good at anything – gifted folks, notwithstanding – and you need lots of data to analyze anything. A few feeble tries does not make a pattern worthy of anything – except perhaps many more attempts.
As David said, you are responsible for being able to meet people. YOU, can only be the one who goes out there and approach people and welcome people into your life. David can only teach and guide you along the way with his knowledge and experience. Think of it as graduating high school or college, your responsible for completing the requirements to graduate, not your teachers, they can help and assist you along the way, but can not do the actually work for you. So, you have to but the time and effort into meeting people, no one is going to force you, you have to force yourself.
Yakub
Do you and I share the same b day February 24. Well happy b day to u. Or is yours Feb. 25?
yakob are u muslim?? ur hella cute lol
and yes i think there is someone for everyone….u just have to go out and look for it
Hey David
i like the topic of this blog because it is EXACTLY what many men and women think about – including me a short time ago.
It’s called scarcity mentality. If you cannot imagine something being available to you, how can you find it? There’s enough love for everyone on this earth. There are thousands of singles out there, and, guess what, they continue to make more every day!
The subconscious brain is very effective in auto-piloting us through the world. If we tell our unconscious that the number of possible mates is limited, it will act upon it and not find anybody for us!
If we make our subconscious believe that there is plenty available, and that we can have any woman/man we want to, it will do its work and create options to achieve this goal.
I tend to agree with those that subscribe to the “abundance” versus “lack of abundance” mentality.
Attitude and approach make terrific differences in all “relationship” categories – be it professional, platonic and romantic.
My experience with people who DO NOT AGREE with the “attitude is everything” motto:
i. They expect the mere desire to change their attitude to yield immediate results.
ii. They do not realize that improving their attitude is only a FIRST STEP – the correction in form for a baseball pitcher that gets him on the road to a more complicated slider. Or the adjustment to leading a staff meeting that puts you on the road to improved rapport.
iii. They treat the philosophy as something tangible such as wearing a short skirt and guys will pay more attention.
Enjoying the overall blog forum.
Hey David,
You say that you love the camera and you’re going to stop giving boothcamps so maybe that’s a great opportunity to make a movie called: “The Magic Pill”
So what do you think about it?
Marina and Sandra- many thanks for the b-day wish!
Sandra mine is on the 24th, and happy b-day to you as well, and hope you had a great day!!!
I believe there are MANY someones out there for everyone! I have been blessed to have had many great loves in my life….and from each one I have learned life lessons & grew into the person I am today.
And LOVE who & what that person has become!
And I am still meeting great people whom I cherish each day!
B.T.W……….I love the diary story…..funny and true!
Thank u Yakub and a b day wish back to u. Mine is 02-24-1960. So that makes us both Pisces will these people understand us? lol
I believe there is someone for everyone…. but as you said David, we need to be aware and really pay attention to the opportunities in front of us.
I think Bruce Lee was the one who said: when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I think it goes the same with in love. When we are ready (emotionally and everything else), the one meant for us will appear.
David Deangelo says that when a women says she needs time to work on herself, it means she’s not attracted. But I find that wrong. I need time to work on myself and would say that to a guy I’m attracted or not attracted to. Of course I would be more tempted to go into a relationship if I’m really attracted to the man, but that might just be a crash and burn.
So my question is:
I have this online guy friend (I’m a female) and we’re two states apart. He has the whole personality package I’m attracted to and physically he is attractive also. We just started talking on the phone the other day. I’m not much of an online dater or long distance relationship person, and I’ve already made vows to stay single and work on my “inner game/confidence/self.”
Is it possible to work on yourself while being in a relationship? Should I go for it or should I give myself some time. Personally I think he needs time to get over his ex too. The other problem is, they were forced to break up by their parents, so the love he has for her is still there. If given the chance, he would be with her. Wouldn’t this become an issue, especially insecurity issues?
I’ve been going one year with no big troubles and its the best I’ve ever been but still need to work more on myself. Would a relationship ruin what I’ve built so far?
Kismet – Enjoy your relationship for what it is right now – if BOTH of you have not gotten over your previous relationships, then I seriously doubt that either of you are ready to dig in again. I do believe that you can work on yourself while you are in a relationship but I would hope that you’re not someone who NEEDS to be in a relationship in order to feel whole or valuable, y’know? Plenty of time to turn up the heat and see if something is really there or not. Sounds like you are each other’s current support group/wingman-by-proxy. If you think that he’s not yet ready, then it’s your intuition telling yourself that he’s not ready. Stay in the moment and enjoy the moment!
I disagree. I am very unattractive and have extremely attractive female friends. It is highly unlikely that I will ever meet someone who will like me and not them. Therefore, I concentrate on other things that bring me happiness. Like building my career, developing hobbies, spending time with friends and family, and travel.
to katie
unattractive by who’s opinion? sometimes i see a couple who obviously have good romance, and i catch myself thinking “what was he/she thinking??” well obviously, the one saw something attractive in the other.
why do you say you are unattractive? looks are only a part of attractiveness. as DW says over and over, there needs to be a CONNECTION! a man needs to be attracted to not just what you look like, but who you are. attraction is very subjective. someone somewhere will think you are more attractive than your friends are.
looks like your life is active: career, hobbies, traveling…this is all good. if hanging with your attractive friends gets you down, have a “me” time and enjoy yourself–without them–in a venue where you can meet men who will like the kind of woman you are.
also, find something about yourself that you consider to be your best physical asset, and flaunt it. me? i’m overweight and not very active at all, but i get lots of compliments on my hair and smile. so i let my hair down as often as possible, and flash my smile (not that hard for me!) and dress in a way that flatters my body.
hope this helps you feel better about yourself katie! wish you the best!
I am extremely unattractive too and I personally don’t believe that there is someone out there for me at least. It gets kind of disheartening when you talk to someone online, meet them in person, and they walk away from you at the restaurant.
What if you are an Asian guy? There are so many stereotypes against you. Asian women have been brainwashed to worship White men. White women have been brainwashed to dislike Asian men.
Hi everyone!