The guy asks for help and you pounce on him like a rabid dog?

Like it or not guys there is such a thing as female sex-addiction and it has consequences. Depending on genetics and how she responds to risky sexual behaviors, a woman can develop a taste for it. If this woman develops the addiction and then gets involved in an exclusive relationship before going through addiction recovery, she WILL cheat it is a documented fact. Guys need to be wary.

The author assumes that because guys are promiscuous that girls can be promiscuous. No no no no no. Saint Paul clearly condemns all extra-marital sex, there’s an absolute standard to give some serious consideration. These days love is more scarce than diamonds and I think it has a lot to do with rebelling against this kind of wisdom that Saint Paul so graciously disseminated not to control, not to brainwash, not to repress, but to set free.

It’s a documented fact that couples who save sex for the one they marry will have happier and longer marriages. Anything that states otherwise is pure misinformation probably malicious and purely rebellious. Really simple reason why: when a formerly promiscuous couple has sex, how does one know that the other isn’t fantasizing about a former partner? When two married virgins finally copulate, that fear isn’t present. Fear destroys trust, without trust there is no relationship.

I’ve put-up with you secular bullshitters my entire life and now I am quite ready and prepared to expose your doublethink.

So, back to the central point, this guy screamed at her because he got emotionally attached. Emotional attachment is a good thing and you make it sound like he’s a crook who deserves a beating. If he feels his needs are not being met, if he wants to get married and have children, if she so happens to keep bringing the relationship back to sex, then he would be wise to be skeptical and ask for help. Notice I have not judged this woman and written her off. The whole point is a lack of information. He doesn’t know if she’s good for him and he is very concerned. The goal here is to help him find out if she’s good for him and he’s good for her.

If either of these individuals struggle with sex-addiction then a relationship will hurt them both. Recovery first! relationship later.

First, sleeping around is easier for women. Regardless of how you feel about promiscuity, we can all agree that a guy who manages to rack up a lot of sexual partners has to have some skills. It’s challenging for men to rack up partners, even for men with low standards. A man needs social intelligence, interpersonal skills, persistence, thick skin, and plain old dumb luck. For women, though, a vagina and a pulse is often enough. Whenever an accomplishment requires absolutely no challenge, no one respects it. It’s just viewed as a lack of self-discipline. People respect those who accomplish challenging feats, while they consider those who overindulge in easily obtained feats as weak, untrustworthy or flawed.

Second, women have potential to do more harm by sleeping around than men do. Say a man sleeps around with a bunch of different women. He’s definitely doing harm to these women if he pretends to be monogamous while sleeping around. He may cause them emotional pain by his promiscuity. He may cause unwanted pregnancy. He may spread VD. When women sleep around, however, they can cause not only all these same ill effects but one additional crucial ill effect: the risk of unknown parentage.

If one guy sleeps around with five women, each of whom is monogamous to him, and they all get pregnant, it’s a safe bet as to who the father is. If you reverse genders and have one woman who sleeps around with five men who are monogamous to her, and she gets pregnant, the father could be any of the five men. And if one of those men is tricked into raising a baby that isn’t his, he’s investing time, money, estate and property to provide for a child that isn’t carrying his DNA into the next generations, a costly mistake from an evolutionary standpoint.

Our two basic primal drives are to survive and to reproduce, and promiscuous women traditionally make it hard for a man to know for sure whether he is truly reproducing or is secretly raising another man’s child. Men stand a lot more to lose from promiscuous women than the other way around. And it’s no picnic for the child to not know who his real father is either. And it’s a mess for the women carrying on the deception as well. Or just look at any random episode of the Maury show if you don’t believe me.

Since the DNA test and the birth control pill didn’t exist until recently, there were no reliable ways to prevent pregnancy or prove parentage for most of human history. For this reason society developed a vested interest in preventing promiscuity among women, and society accomplished this by creating the slut stigma. And even though the creation of birth control and DNA tests have made this less of a risk than the past, longstanding traditions and customs are not easy for society to break so the slut stigma remains.

Third, men have evolutionary reasons to be programmed to sleep around more. A lot of women roll their eyes when they hear that men are “hard-wired” to sleep around. But from an evolutionary standpoint, it makes total sense. If the two primal drives of humans are to survive and to reproduce, nothing leads to maximum reproduction like one man sleeping with multiple women. If one women sleeps with many men in a nine month period, she can only get pregnant just once. Nine months of rampant promiscuity would give the same result as nine months of highly sexed monogamy: one pregnancy. Now if one man sleeps with many women during a nine month period, you can get many pregnancies during that period. The more women he sleeps with, the more possible pregnancies.

So from an evolutionary standpoint, there are concrete advantages to men being promiscuous compared to women being promiscuous. This doesn’t mean that women have evolved to be strictly monogamous. Women have evolved to be somewhat promiscuous too, something men badly underestimate. However they haven’t evolved to be as rampantly promiscuous as men.
Fourth, promiscuity poses more risk to women than to men. A woman has more to lose from choosing bad sex partners than a man does. She’s the one who gets stuck with going through a pregnancy and taking care of a baby alone if she chooses a deadbeat. For this reason, promiscuous women throughout history have historically been viewed as being a vastly more irresponsible risk takers than promiscuous men, who rightly or wrongly could always run away from the consequences of unwanted pregnancies easier than women could.

These four reasons explain why the longstanding tradition came about of men being rewarded for multiple partners while women get socially punished for similar promiscuity. Of course all this is gradually changing, but we’re up against millenia of evolutionary and cultural conditioning here, so don’t expect any dramatic overnight reversals.

Understand that I’m just explaining why the double standard came into existence and not condoning or condemning it. This is not an attempt to pass judgment or be self-righteous in any way. It’s just an explanation of why the two conditions are treated differently.

If past behaviour is indicative of future behaviour, which it is, then it would be a very dumb move to date a slut.

Men and women are equals. This does not mean that they are equal in every single thing they do. For example, men are, on average, physically stronger than women. It is much easier for a semi attractive (even a 6/10) woman to go out and get laid. The same cannot be said about men. Men have to work at it, have some skill (game) and thereby get a woman to sleep with them. It is a LOT harder for an equally attractive man to get women than it is the other way around. This is one of reasons behind why we, as a society, naturally celebrate men who are successful in bedding multiple women; while at the same time shame women who bed multiple men.

Let us briefly visit the topic of virginity from both perspectives. Virginity in a man is not a desirable state or label when it comes to an attribute that the opposite sex wants. This is because he has obviously not been preselected by other women. However, female virginity is not looked at negatively in the least by men. If she looks decent, no man cares if the girl is a virgin or not. In fact, a female virgin is often wanted more.

Now don’t get me wrong, men LOVE sluts. We will never turn down an opportunity to sleep with a good looking slut. Partly because she’s good in bed, partly because it’s sex. But any decently intelligent, self-respecting man will know that it is a terrible idea to emotionally involve himself (i.e. date) a slutty girl. That would be a very dumb move. Why would any man want to get emotionally involved with a girl who’s had 15+ sexual partners? We would just be setting ourselves up for failure. There are many nice worthy girls out there who don’t have daddy issues and haven’t slept with an entire fraternity house. But, by all means, fvck the brains out of sluts in the meanwhile.

Most guys can detect when a girl is a slut by the first few dates and by what he hears about the girl from other people and from the girl herlself. We put this information together and figure out if she is dating material or not. If not, I like most guys, will still go in for the prize but have no intention of following through with dating the dirty little tart.

To put it simply, a lock that can be opened by many keys is a useless lock and of little worth. But a key that can open many locks is a master key and is valuable.

I don’t believe that you should’ve yelled at her, but I do understand where that emotion came from. Read about my situation, and you will see what I mean.

Personally, I was raised that sex was something you only did with the person you were married to, and that marriage should last a lifetime. So, to me, I always thought that a person should ideally only ever have one sexual partner.

Recently, I’ve come to question this, because I’ve become the only virgin I know. It makes me wonder if I’ve been living a lie, this whole time. I’ve had girlfriends, but the furthest it ever went was a kiss, and maybe a touch or so…

Lately, I’ve been talking to this girl whom I have known since we were 15 years old. We’re now 22. It used to be that she said things, like how I thought. For example, when we were 18, she was engaged to a man I have also known since high school. She and I are pretty close, and she would tell me how she would discuss sex, with her fiance. She told him that she wanted their honeymoon to be the moment. It ended up that she didn’t wait, though. She lost her virginity to him, and soon after things didn’t work out… They split up. After this, she lived on a college campus, and she didn’t seem to care anymore. She had sex with quite a few men. I don’t know exactly how many, but she sometimes talks about things she did with them. It is as though ever since she lost her virginity her whole perspective about sex has changed.

In all honesty, I’m in love with her. She has been my best friend for years, but I’ve wanted it to be something more than that. We have talked about us taking things a little further, but I’m not sure things would work out, with our now differing opinions about sex. I thought I was doing the right thing. Maybe I should’ve been having fun, this whole time, before I got concerned with a serious relationship. Honestly, the urge has been there, I want to have sex, but I’ve been saving it for that special someone. When she talks about what she has done, I feel like I need to make up for lost time, and that I’ve been so silly for waiting so long.

I know her really well, I love her deeply, and could accept that she has been with many partners if we were to start a relationship. -Even if it does gross me out, when I’m kissing her and I know she has sucked on another man’s penis, because I feel like now I’m kissing the remnants of his gross stuff. I try not to think about it like that, but sometimes the thought pops into my head. I love her so much that she can do no wrong, in my eyes, which is why I can accept the facts of the issue.

There is a part of me that is afraid to just be another tally mark, though. It would mean the world to me, but I’m not sure how much it would mean to her. I’m not her first, not by a long shot, based on her comment, “I couldn’t tell you how many I’ve been with, exactly. I don’t want anyone to know that.” She is already my whole world, what if I give her my virginity too, and she just leaves me? I just don’t know. That is why I’m confused.

She used to think like I do. Maybe if I lost my virginity, I wouldn’t think it is such a big deal. I just like the idea of me being someone’s one and only, and they being my one and only. Or, does eternal love for just one other person, and sharing everything of yourself and themselves with each other, not exist? I’m not extremely religious, in fact, you might call me agnostic, but I once thought I knew what was right, and now I’m not so sure.

I would appreciate your feedback.