How many times have you gone on a date with a woman, and the minute she walks in the room you think to yourself, “Man, I love the way she walks. I love the way she moves?” Then the minute she first opens her mouth, the attraction just grows even more.
There’s an instant chemistry you feel with her, like you’ve known each other forever. There’s an immediate feeling of comfort. As the date progresses, that feeling of comfort grows even more.
You feel so comfortable, in fact, that you stop thinking about trying to sleep with her and start realizing that you can sleep with her. You are not obsessed anymore with trying to get her in bed, because you know it’s just going to happen naturally.
You have that amazing feeling where you just know you are going to be able to connect with her in so many different ways. That’s what true chemistry is all about.
On the other hand, how many times has that beautiful woman walked in on a date and you realize that you have no chemistry with her? Maybe you met her on match.com or Yahoo! Personals or something like that.
How many times have you had a woman walk in and your first thought when you see her is, “Oh man, I can’t wait to get the hell out of here. Where is the eject button? Why aren’t there any of those James Bond gadgets underneath this chair?”
In that situation, you just know from the second that she walks in the room that you have nothing in common with her. It’s a feeling that we all get.
The funniest thing about these two scenarios, is that both of these women could look exactly the same. They could both be stunningly beautiful, or the first one could even be less physically attractive than the second one.
The key here is that it doesn’t matter what the other person look like. It’s totally about the chemistry that the two of you have with each other.
That is the thing about dating that is really interesting — especially online dating. You can have the “Oh Wow” moment or the “Oh No” reaction at any time. We’ve all experienced both of these feelings.
I remember one time when I was single, walking in to meet a woman and having that “Oh No” moment big time. We just had zero chemistry with each other. We could have been lab partners in high school chemistry class and we would have been unable to create anything together.
Being the gentleman that I am, though, I spent the next hour and a half talking to her. The conversation was dead after the first five minutes, so I had to manufacture a conversation for the remainder of the date.
That’s the worst part of being on a date with someone about whom you have that “Oh No” feeling. You always have to manufacture a conversation. That’s the worst feeling.
That is why you want to keep meeting and keep going on dates with people. Although you’re going to have to live through your fair share of “Oh No” moments, it is all worth it when you walk in and experience the “Oh Wow” instant chemistry feeling.
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man you just give me hope
love it
i want that “oh wow”
laterr
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Personally I think it would be fun to do “speed” dating kind of thing blindfolded and see who get has a connection and afterwards hear everyones reaction. Totally leave out our natural visual judgement and let us connect on senses.
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Having tried online dating, I have made it my choice to only communicate with those ladies that have photos with their Personal Profiles and as well have similar interests to myself. I will usually communicate maybe 3 weeks to a month prior to meeting in a public place with a lady so I may first get to know them better. Usually the first meeting in a public place is where you will determine if you are right for each other or not and if not while guess that will be the first and last meeting for both.
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Marina love your idea!
But David, you’ve must have had an incident where you met somone you didn’t think much about and over time they eventually grew on you. I know this has happened to me and I’m sure it has happened to others. Theres are instances where its night and day, and you know right away, but I think those are in the minority. What does everyone think?
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I’ve met that oh wow at a dance night with the girlfriend of a guy that I knew. We intantly connected. It was so obvious that we wanted each other. She actually asked for my phone number and once told me to ‘go for a walk’…wich we all know what that means but I coudn’t.
Would you belive that the time we aranged a date she didn’t come and didn’t answer the phone? I just texted her that ok you got me, but you won’t get a second chance. I think you just don’t to those kind of things. Am I right?
And yeah I’ve met the ow no lots of times but I get so pissed of when I try to light up the conversation and they just sit there like someone has died.
But can anyone tell me, after such amazing chemestry why did I get hung up?
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Jeff,
I think it’s like the Pepsi Challenge. Maybe that was before your time, but here’s what went down. Pepsi filmed commercials of people taking a sip of Pepsi and a sip of Coke, and most folks honestly preferred the sweeter-tasting Pepsi.
Based on this, Coke reformulated their product and named it New Coke. Well, that fell flat (pun intended). It turned out that most people, when drinking a whole can or two or three–and not just one sip–preferred the more drinkable, less sweet Coke.
Guess what happened to New Coke?
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Marina,
That’s an interesting proposition, but I don’t think it would work the way you’re thinking. So much of communication is non-verbal and has to do with your facial expressions, hand guestures, posture and body-movements. Those are all things you have to see and they are all things that can effect how you feel about someone.
For example, I’m overweight. I’m actually losing weight, but I need to lose like 50 pounds. So, if someone just looked at a picture of me he might not find me attractive. But I have a lot of charisma and sexual energy. After interacting with me for a few minutes most men find me attractive.
And it’s not because of my face or my body. And I doubt it just my voice and what I am saying.
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Mike-Ro,
She has a b/f… and you never get another chance like “right now”.
If you liked her… and for whatever reason, she was open to you at the time, that’s when you needed to make that connection.
Once she’s home, maybe she’s not fighting with her b/f anymore… maybe she realizes she wants him and her to work out… whatever the reason… she’s not wanting to jeopardize her relationship with him for something unknown like yours.
In either case, she’d only go out with you if she was really at that breaking point with him.
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She told me she already cheated on him and would leave him at any moment
. And after she asked me out one week passed and then I called her to arange a date. She was very enthuziastic about it but…well that’s that, it doesn’t really matter any more..Thanks for the response.
I’ll just do what I’ve learned from the other posts.Date date and date too see what’s good for me and only then when I will find the one with the ‘it factor’ (i’ve searched a bit for that podcast) only then I will setle down to a relationship. Sounds fair doesn’t it?
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Mike-Ro,
Speaking on behalf of women, I think Khiem is right that the woman probably thought about the situation and chickened out. She probably does want to leave he boyfriend, but she just can’t bring herself to pull the trigger.
Women get overly practical sometimes and that’s when we start thinking things like (as Khiem brought up) we already know what is wrong with our current relationship and things might be the same or worse in another one. So, some of us are more prone to stick it out and deal with the known factors rather than take a chance ont he unknown.
As my sister once said, “Relationships are like polotics, the encumbant always has an advantage.”
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Yea I guess you’re right. One last thing dough. David had a post about dating multiple people. When you say ‘dating’ does it involve kissing and stuff or just getting out on walk and stuff to get to know the person better?
Really need to know that so I don’t get it wrong:)
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