I Was Eliminated
November 18, 2008 
24 Comments
Something really funny happened today that I think you’re going to love hearing about.
I don’t know what you all think of MySpace or Facebook, but in my opinion, social networking sites are borderline weird – especially if you’re like me and have dated somebody who basically lived for them.
Earlier this year, I was actually dating a Facebook/MySpace junkie. So today, Rey was on the computer when he started laughing really loudly. When I asked him what was up, he told me that I had been removed from her friend list.
I was removed from both her MySpace and Facebook friend lists. Is this elementary school? Have I been banned from the tree house? Have I been eliminated?
Do you remember that tree house when you were a kid? The one that you weren’t allowed to enter because you weren’t cool enough or something?
So I’m no longer on her Facebook or MySpace page. Is that supposed to hurt me? I moved on the day she left! I couldn’t wait for the relationship to end – because it just wasn’t right.
So now she’s punishing me? By taking me off of her MySpace and Facebook pages? Really, are we in kindergarten? “You can’t have this piece of gum because I don’t like you anymore!”
How many of you eliminate people from your life and then subsequently eliminate them from your MySpace and Facebook pages as well?
Is that supposed to be the final slap? So we can’t play anymore online. She can’t tag me or bite me. She can’t poke me anymore?
That’s quite all right – because we’re done ‘poking’ in reality as well! I don’t need to be poked in fantasyland. We already poked in real life and it didn’t work out, and now the relationship is over. I don’t need to be poked on Facebook.
It’s the same way that I feel about strip clubs. Why go and get someone to grind on you when it’s totally fake?
I’m all about reality – not fantasy. So for those of you who play around on MySpace and Facebook – I’m talking about poking, rearranging your top five friends like they’ve earned a promotion – stop!
I remember when I was hanging out with this girl – she used to rearrange her top five friends on MySpace depending on the mood she was in that day.
Seriously. This isn’t elementary school, and it’s not a popularity contest – oh wait, it’s the internet, I forgot that it is a popularity contest!
Seems like it stung a little, huh? You wouldn’t have given it another thought otherwise. This happened to me with, what I consider, a more intimate relationship, one of my closest friends. When he took me off of his MySpace and Facebook accounts and BLOCKED me form seeing his accounts, I just thought, “Oh well, I wish him the best.”
She’s probably thinking the same thing, it’s over. No need to hang on to the past, especially, if it’s as you say not right/good. I’d consider it a relief. Now you don’t have to go out of your way to be nice, but now that she’s let you go you seem upset, hmmm…
Cheers!
haha did she tell her mommy on you too? :p
Ridiculous. I was gonna give your lady-ex the benefit of the doubt — say, perhaps, she harbors feelings for you and couldn’t bare to see your face on her myspace page each day so she had to remove it — until you noted her shifting hierarchy of friends based on the day’s mood. That is sad. And shallow. Go get a life!!
wow, that is hilarious! good riddence I suppose, if this is how its going to end!
exactly sir
and in response to the first comment.. of course it hurt
to realize he dated someone so childish. And what’s funny
is the same type of people that do that on their myspace “friends”
are seemingly a bit childish in person too.
the internet is set in a box
yet people define themselves with this LITTLE box.
they have to carry around their myspace/facebook everywhere.
Because in all reality.. people are really THAT detached from the REAL WORLD.
Faceless drones my friend.. FACELESS
Uh-huh…
HAHAHA!
Myspace and Facebook are retarded. I have neither and refuse to take it up no matter how good my friends say it is. Why do i want to be bothered by people from my past? they’re in my past for a reason, and i prefer to keep them there. These websites are ridiculous in my opinion, all the little nudges or winks or whatever the hell people do, here’s an idea, go out into the real world and interact with people face to face!
David – you, of all people, shouldn’t take it personally or even be surprised. Look at it this way: It took her some time to remove you so maybe it’s because that’s how long it was before she got over you! Or the length of time it took her to make new “friends.” Since you don’t indulge in those sites and clearly have no need for publicizing the waxing and waning of your affections for your personal acquaintances, isn’t this a red herring of sorts? It did take a friend to report your elimination from her ‘circle.’ Maybe she just didn’t want to delete you (and your fame, notoriety, whatever you call it) until she had a replacement so that she didn’t look like a loser on-line. Sometimes, it’s all about saving face…
Wow, I never would have thought of it that way. I don’t take Facebook or MySpace too seriously, but I do have them — and I have, at times, deleted people I’m no longer dating from my friends list. Not to punish them or try to make them feel bad (that never even crossed my mind) but just because we’re no longer involved in each other’s lives and it doesn’t seem relevant to have them on there anymore. Now, the people I remain friends with stay, because I am still interested in their lives and what they’re doing, and presumably they might be interested in mine as well. I try to only have people on my lists who I am actually interested in communicating with (as opposed to the mindset of trying to have as many “friends” as possible even if you barely know them). I would EXPECT to be deleted from an ex’s page, especially if there were any kind of hard feelings. Move on, you know? Interesting how people can have such a different interpretation of the same action.
I’m a big FB fan…. it’s just a fun way to keep up with everyone. Most of my family, including my grandma are on there, and it’s an easy way to share pics of the babies & kids, vacations, parties, and keep in touch easily with a lot of people at once, etc.
As for the elimination thing, a former friend went completely psychotic, and I did take her off as a “friend” b/c I didn’t want her having any access to my information or pictures or current updates on my life.
The internet is a tool- and how you use it makes it good or bad….!
I have to admit, I have removed a couple people, just like “C” said. It was an ex who I did not want to have access to my information, pictures, or write crazy things on my page and send me stupid messages. If that makes me immature so be it. It made my life easier, but now I find myself going on FB less and less… and I think I’m better for it ha ha
I agree with Stell and “C”. It’s not a big deal. How did you know that you were removed? I never notice when people remove me from their friends list. I’ve removed people as I am not interested in them nor their information. To me, it’s like deleting a cell phone number of a person that you no longer keep in contact with. It’s a communication tool. No need if we’re no longer communicating.
I deleted an from myspace, and eventually lost a bunch of mutual friends “because of how I reacted to the breakup.” Well, I was a late bloomer and it was my first serious relationship. She suddenly “was not emotionally ready for a relationship and needed to be single.” Turns out, her ex boyfriend had proposed to her, she just wasn’t telling me, but since I figured she had met someone else, no, I did not want to see updates from her or comments from other guys. It’s easy to say “just don’t look at her page” but I had never been more hurt and gutted in my life. I felt the best thing to do would be to delete the temptation, to remove her from my life, because I literally was too hurt. I was trying to protect myself from being more hurt. It was never an attempt to slap her in the face, it was an attempt to heal as quickly as possible, and I felt the best way to do that would be to not have access to any information of her. It was unreasonable for her to expect me to remain friends with her given the greater context of the breakup and the fact that she was lying to me. I would have loved to have stayed friends with her, but I knew I was too hurt and vulnerable to handle seeing her be in a relationship with someone else a month later, or to see photos of her with other men a couple weeks later.
Now, when breakups have been mutual or I’ve been treated with honesty, I don’t take those actions. But I could certainly understand some women I’ve dated dropping me when I break up with them. It’s not an insult or a slap to my face at all, nor do I find it childish. If I ended it with them non-mutually, probably the healthiest thing they can do to heal is delete me from their life. The worst thing for them would be to see all the fun I was having flirting with other women.
Jonsi – Maybe she thought that her version of why she ended the relationship was less hurtful than telling you that the ex proposed and arousing your jealousy, causing you to compare yourself to him – and giving her already painful departure a face – his face. I’ve said it before on this blog, some people are really crappy at closure and you shouldn’t beat yourself up just because others passed judgment on your method of dealing with it. Hurt is hurt and you have the right to heal by any sane and sensible means necessary, including deleting her and removing your access to torture yourself after the fact by viewing her page. Sometimes if you leave a former flame on your page, new people think that you are trying to keep your options open and it may prevent you and them from moving to the next level. Others think that it is a great attribute to be able to maintain a friendship with an ex. I say, to each his own. You shouldn’t judge another’s healing methods unless you were there for the duration and know first-hand what they experienced. You must be a pretty good guy if she at least tried to soften the blow, even if she did it badly.
Well…no offense intended, but ahh…I thought the Myspace was for kids. Yes, I too have a page, but I’m not on it often merely because the kid I was keeping tabs on when he was away now lives with me full time. Mostly I just look at my daughter’s pics on her page. I suppose I should be a lot more butt-hurt over the fact that I’m not on someone’s top ten list… lol!
It’s only the internet. I suppose it depends on how long the relationship lasted, and on what terms you parted company so to speak. I could be friends with my ex, but his third wife gives me the evil eye a lot and if I weren’t so tall I’d have a good view of her nose hair. It would be really funny if she didn’t creep me out.
Haha, my ex took me off FB, and AIM…I mean, that must mean I’m not even in her phone…right?
Not so much…
It’s so childish but at the same time, FB and AIM and other social media platforms are so much a part of our lives that people almost see it necessary to release someone from every aspect of their lives.
Oh well, maturity.
I dated a “girl” that would take me off her Myspace page or Facebook whenever she got upset with something I did (or didn’t do). It was hilarious! And then she’d call me and say, “I added you back to my friends, go online and accept.”
It got really tiresome, and I finally just deleted the pages without warning. She took it personal that I deleted my pages and our relationship went out the window after that.
If you live in cyberspace, you must be a social retard. If you are, that’s okay. Just don’t involve people who can actually hold a real-life conversation.
Hi, the cyberspace is not real life. A lot of people there we will never meet in person. what the difference that someone has 50 friends there or none friend there? Do people compete on that? do you really have nothing to do in life? amazing!
few days ago, I was curious and went to a chatting room and I can’t believe what people were chatting on. None sense. I would think those people miss part of their brain.
well I am on facebook too. It helps me to find a friend from 10 years ago. Yes, I went out with him before, but now, we just exchanged couple emails and it is good to know that he is doing fine. why do people use this good tool to play mental games? it is also very silly to try to be popular on cyberspace!
Maybe she took it too seriously. I had a myspace account before and I used to delete people who ignored my messages. Now it sounds funny but back then it did really upset me!
Hey, wait.. when it did not work… isnt great just to forget about it as quick as possible?
What is the point of keeping you on facebook and be kind of forced to see your new pics, updates, contacts, wall posts and whateverelse might keep prompting on her screen everytime she logs in?
Prob nothing against you as a person, she just want to think about you as less as possible..
Here’s the thing – on these sites, when you log in, it shows you a list of all the updates your friends have made, what they’re up to, and any activity since the last time you logged in. If this girl is truly checking these pages every day, she probably did hit a point where seeing updates and tidbits on her ex every single day was no longer relevant/necessary in her life, hence the deletion. It’s not the same as deleting someone’s phone number or saying you never want contact again – it’s just a way to get a little breathing room in an increasingly digital age. No need to feel so stricken, I think…
I just wana say that i have in the passed taken an ex off my facebook, but i was the one who broke with her. The only reason i did it was becuase she was the type of person who would look at my wall and comments and what not and than msg me saying whose this, whose that and intarrogate me, so to avoid that, i just took her off.??? make sense or no??
Resurrecting this post: I removed my ex and all her friends from my lists for the sole purpose that it was painful to see her life as she moved on. Completely different issue, but it’s not the petty punishment that you talk about here.