Women send me emails all the time telling me that they have gone out and smiled at a ton of guys, but aren’t getting the the kind of response from men they want. They want to know if they are doing something wrong. My answer? Maybe…
Smiling is critical to being successful at meeting men, but the question is: When you are smiling, what does your body language say about you?
Are you smiling and running? (Are you doing the old “smile and run?”) Are you quickly smiling so that when men see you do it they are not quite sure if it’s a smile or not?
Conversly, are you a woman who blows men away when she smiles because when you smile at a man you smile fully and look directly in his eyes?
I know when a woman stares right in my eyes and gives me a great smile – whether I’m attracted to her or not – that I ALWAYS give her a great smile back. I can’t help it. I’ll think “Wow, did you see that smile? There’s something amazing about it.”
There really is something amazing about a smile like that. It’s about an energy.
So my question to all of you women who are telling me that you are out there smiling and saying hello to men without success is this: How are you actually doing it? Are you saying hello like you really care, or are you saying hello and running? Are you really smiling at somebody from your heart and not just out of fear?
What does your body language say about you? Are you open when you smile, or are your arms folded and you are mainly looking down at the ground? It takes a lot more than to “just smile.” It takes actually being able to give that smile the right way.
I tell women to smile doing the exact same things I do when I smile. When I smile at someone, I look directly in their eyes and smile directly at them. My body language is not closed – my hands aren’t in my pockets and my arms are not folded.
When I say “Hello, how are you today?” I always sound like I’m talking to an old friend. It’s all about your voice tone. It’s all about the way you smile.
If you nervously run up to a guy and say “Hello, how are you?” then he is going to wonder what’s wrong with you and why you are so nervous. If, however, you do it like you’re talking to an old friend then he’s going to respond much more positively to you.
So the next time you smile and say hello to a guy, do it like you’ve known him forever. Pretend that you’re actually going over to say hello to an old friend when you do it. The next time you smile at a guy, pretend like you are smiling at an old friend.
Here is a great exercise I tell many of my female clients to do to help with this. I tell them to put a picture of someone you love as the home screen on your phone. It could be a picture of your dog or your niece at her birthday party. Choose whatever makes you smile when you look at it.
Then the next time you feel intimidated when you see a man to whom you are attracted, all you have to do is look at the home screen on your phone and keep that smile you make looking at the picture when you smile at that guy. This is easy and won’t appear strange to the guy. It is so common for people to be constantly staring at their phones, that the guy will think you were looking at your phone because you just got an email or text message.
What you will really be doing is building up your smile confidence, so you are able to deliver that incredible, killer smile. That kind of smile is believable and will make a guy want very badly to talk to you.
Trust me on this. When a woman comes over and smiles at me and she gives me that smile, all I can ever think about is that intoxicating smile and how badly I want to talk to her.
Today’s video will show you exactly how important body language is in being attractive:
Smile is the first step in all the great relationships.
Smile is happiness
… who doesn’t want to be with happiness?
Smiling is the greatest medicine in the world..Just can’t stop doing it, but it’s important it comes from down deep. Nothing worse than phony smile. You have to smile with your soul.
Phony smiles are often so painfully obvious. So obviously phony.
If I saw Coach Kimberly walking towards me with that walk and smile, I would definitely want to talk to her.
I like it when girls smile towards me… but I like it even more when a girl makes me feel as though I gave her something to smile about.
smile is contagious- the other day i was having lunch, and all sudden a small kid comes up to me and looks at me directly in the eye, and started to smile, and so i smile back- i was thinking to myself we can all learn from watching kids, they’re so free from monkey chatter, they don’t care, and their smiles are just so precious!!!
Tony888- great comment:)
Miss Me
Priss It Baby Priss It walk that walk that God create you with. The more you twist that bootie the more that guy is going to look. The smile is saying glad to see you and giving your energy. Have you ever did the bend over to pick up something trick. I can imagine what the guy is thinking when a girl is bent over?
When you walk make it look sexy like you are out on a dance floor wiggling your stuff or a pole dance that attracts men. When you bend over give him something that he wants to grab a hold of.
Kristen- you did great on that video especially when all the pressures are one you!!!
It’s amazing what you give, you get back. I really notice that when I’m smiling, making eye contact and pay attention to people around me, I receive positive feedback from others. It’s like what David always talks about getting what you put into something. Attracting others takes a little care and time…like taking the time to smile and saying hello to someone. You will brighten someone else’s day and in turn, feel good doing it.
And Tony if you smiled back, I would talk to you too
Another excellent blog David. I love the blogs that are short and sweet, only a few paragraphs that I can read in under 5 minutes!
very true.SMILE is very important and build up an energy in another words it gave you more upfront.for example i meet these girl in the bar and she just standing there same spot and without any smile at her face.what do i do just like david said before just walk towards her without any hesitate, smile and said “you look BORED!!!”damn!!! i can see the smile at her face and she immediate respond… really???another words is you get the chance to open up the conversation.
Well… i still praticing with my skills here not an expert yet
Nice Blogs David.
thanks
Sandra, when a woman walks by, no smile, but she struts her stuff(body moves every which way), does that mean, come get me?
I actually have a great exercise for people who want to know if their smile is attractive, genuine and calming.
Try smiling a babies or very very young kids (4 yrs old and younger). A lot of these kids are sometimes bratty… or crying… or annoying… however when they look at you, smile intently. If you are genuine and happy and even sometimes mischievous, the kid will stop crying completely and smile back at you.. and even play with you.
Do you have the power to calm and make a baby happy? If you can… that means you are starting to command presence around the people around you.
Good idea Kheim, I’ll give that a try the next time & see if my smile works on a baby. If it does, that’s a good sign then, right?
hunter
that depends on the woman. If she looks twice maybe, maybe not.
Sandra, you mention bending over. Case scenario, I am at the library, I ask the librarian for a book, she smiles looks at her desk, and leans forward over her desk, making her quarter inch cleaveage, much bigger. Does this mean chase me?
And yes, Coach Kimberly, I would definitely smile back.
Hunter
Take it or leave it sweetheart it all depends on how you look at it. Did she hard flirt with you. I was told this by a guy one time when a girl does something sexy like look at you and play with her finger on her lips and starts sucking the tip of it that means she is hard flirting with you. Oh do you know what the signal for the guy wanting the female is?
Sandra, never in my life, have I made eye contact with a woman and see her suck on her finger tips.
Do I know what the signal for the man wanting the female?….Most men are simple, we get turned on by sight, so if we come up and stare at your figure or say hi, or start a conversation, that means we want in.
Sandra, somehow I don’t think that was a “hard flirt”. What I described is all that happened.
This blog is so true. One of the things that attracted my current boyfriend to me, he says, was my smile. There was apparently something simultaneously mysterious, intriguing and genuine about how I smiled at him, and that’s why he asked me on a date, so he says. Have to mention that as a waitress, it is my job to smile at customers to make them feel welcome and appreciated. About 98% of the time when I smile at a customer it’s just out of sheer custom. Genuine smiles I find are hard to come by unless you and the reciprocant have something; chemistry, a connection, an attraction to each other. It is amazing when it happens so effortlessly. =)
I don’t know. Whenever I saw the guy that attract me, I just can’t smile at him very comfortably