How To Stay Out Of Routine World
June 13, 2010 
5 Comments
I had a great conversation today with someone about the difference between what a relationship is like the first three to six months, and what it is like once it really “settles in.” It’s really interesting if you think about it.
In the beginning, you try to impress each other. You do special things for each other. When they come over you set an intent for the evening — you light candles, put on some music and maybe make a special dinner.
As the relationship progresses, though, you stop setting intents. It’s almost like you stop listening to each other. “I know he (or she) likes candles, but I’m just not going to light them anymore because I’m lazy (or because we’re in routine world or because they are as attracted to me as a piece of furniture).”
There’s a lot of things that we should keep doing for each other because they are fun and are things the other person likes. There are also things we shouldn’t be doing for each other.
One of those things is settling into the comfort zone where we stop doing the great romantic things you used to do for each other and letting the inner slob come out. Men tend to start farting more, leaving the door open when they go to the bathroom, and really just leaving their smell all over the place.
Women may not walk around farting, but they tend to start leaving their stuff everywhere. There are products in every nook and corner, and underwear hanging from every hook and hanger. Some women will start wearing sweatpants every single night.
We tend to stop doing things for each other because we get comfortable. Of course we love the other person for who they are, and nobody has to get dressed up for their partner every day. You need to be 100% comfortable in a relationship, but you also need to do all the things that were amazing at the beginning.
Click here for some great ideas on how to keep the fire lit in your relationship.
Amen! Speaking of farting, I heard a quote once…something like “He that hides his farts is sure to hide much more”. Basically, this is saying when someone is not comfortable enough to fart in front of you (throughout the entire relationship) you might find that they are not comfortable with telling you or doing other things in front of you. Yes, it’s a broad statement and it doesn’t apply to everyone but I dated this guy that never pooted ONCE in front of me, and he turned out to be a huge liar. I’m just sayin….thought it was a funny quote, why am I still writing? lol
In most of the situations couples get too comfortable because they feel secure. No matter what they do wrong, there won’t be almost no consequences.
At the beginning of the.relationship we are in impression mode as david mentioned. But after while we think that the other person already knows everything about us. So we rest on past actions and stop being creative.
BTW. How do you handle the first fart. I always try to make a fun situation out of it.
Dancer: Whenever a girl I’m dating farts, it’s not a big deal at all to me, especially if they are feminine about it. If they do it on the first date, then that’s not good, but if we’re exclusive, I am perfectly okay with it. Same in reverse. Usually I try not to, but sometimes it happens. I have never had a problem with a girl after that.
David you hit the nail on the head with this one. For some reason in relationships people get comfortable and lazy then the decline sets in. If you want to be good at your golf game, your job, your fitness… you need to work on it and learn more about it. The same with your relationship -unless you make your partner and the relationship a priority, the decline will set in.
Choose daily to love this person. Plan your relationship eg one night a week – have a date night – do something special – light the candles, give them a massage, …
Ladies, buy gorgeous track pants that are comfortable and look great on you.
Men and women be well groomed at home as well as out – look your best for the man/woman you love.
Neither men nor women should openly fart in front of each other. Good grief, walk into the bathroom or step away. If in a car at least apologize and open a window. The fart “theory” is BS.