For those of you who can think of anything but football today here is a great Sunday night idea!
This is an actual conversation I had with a client at a recent bootcamp.
For those of you who are football fanatics here are my Super Bowl picks.
San Diego and Dallas.
Surprise team this year will be the Arizona Cardinals in the NFC and the Jets in the AFC.
Lets now talk seduction!
Client: If you’re into a woman and you want to sleep with her, how do you bring that about? How do you signal to a woman that you want to get intimate without getting into her personal space or pushing yourself on her? How do you it naturally?
David: It will always be natural if you connect with her. Once again, you don’t need to actually talk about sex; what you need to do is go out and get to know her. For women, foreplay starts in the mind. There is no need to ever bring up the subject of sex.
So you’re out on a date with her, and you have connected with her as a person. You go out, you have fun, you talk, you share stories and interests, and you get excited when she says something.
You both have great eye contact the whole night – you never break that eye contact. You lean in and lead with your body language (like we talked about earlier.) You lean in like this when she’s talking, you put your hand on table, and she puts her hand up there too. You cross a little bit so that both hands are on the table. If you’re leading, then your body language is always leading hers at all times.
So by the end of the date you know that you’ve connected – you’ve talked to each other a lot, you’ve smiled all night. At this point you want to avoid doing the typical cliché guy-thing: don’t try to seal the night with a kiss. So many guys rush into the kiss.
Instead, I would drive her home and sit with her in my car. I’ll talk a little bit, and I know that if she lingers in the car – if she’s still talking with you while the car is running and you’re sitting in the driveway – she’s interested in kissing me. If she’s lingering in the car, you can assume that she’s wondering what it is like to kiss you.
So then I would say, “alright, I’ve got to get home and go to sleep. Come over here,” and she’ll move over. I’ll go in for the kiss, but I won’t do like massive lizard tongue or anything. I’ll just go in with big, soft lips. No tongue at first, just soft lips.
Second pass – more soft lips, no tongue. And then on the third pass through, I’ll slip my tongue in ever so gently, and I’ll feel her tongue for the very first time. I’ll give her this very soft little kiss, and I’ll hold her face – women love to have their faces held – or hold her behind the neck.
After that, I’ll give her a few more little kisses and then I will look at her. And you’ll know if it was a good kiss – you’ll be dizzy from a good kiss. You won’t get dizzy from a shitty kiss.
So if it was a good kiss, you can look at her and say, “oh man, that was a great kiss.” Women love kissing. The biggest complaint from women is that most guys don’t like kissing. You can then look at her and say, “alright, get out,” and send her out of the car.
The next thing to do is bring her back to that moment. The next day you can text her and say something like, “man, that was such a dizzying kiss,” or “that was such a great kiss the other night, I’m looking forward to the next one,” or whatever – something cute.
She’s already thinking about it, and you brought her back to that moment. She’s thinking about you.
And the next time you go out? It’s the same thing. You go out and you connect with her. You don’t talk about sex or say anything like, “let’s go back to my house,” or “let’s go do it,” or something stupid like that. You just have to connect with her again.
At the end of the night, you look at her and say, “come here and give me another one of those dizzy kisses again,” and you kiss her. You’ll start hearing her breathe a little bit heavier. She might moan or sigh a little bit.
You can then look at her and say, “go. I’m not going to trust myself if you stay in my car any longer,” and you send her out. Dismiss her one more time.
Now that you’ve dismissed her twice, she will start to boil a little bit – you’re not like every other guy. Every other guy gropes her the minute they get the chance. Other guys are literally grinding in their seats like this trying to get laid. You’re not doing that at all.
On the third date, you invite her over to your house for a barbeque or to watch a movie or something. You might be hanging out on the couch, and make sure that during the entire movie you’re actually watching the film.
You could rub the back of her hair a little bit, touch her hand and play with her hand a little bit. You might touch the back of her shoulders a little bit. You just spend the movie playing with her a bit. You’re not kissing her.
You might whisper something into her ear like, “that was a funny scene,” or “this is my favorite part,” if you’ve seen it before. Always whisper into her ear – this builds intimacy. If you think about it, during sex, women like to be talked to. They like it when you whisper, “honey this feels great, you feel wonderful, you look beautiful.” In this way, you’re doing the same exact thing, but you’re not telling her that.
So after the two hours of the movie, the sexual tension has been building. At the end of the film, you look at her and say, “alright, give me your feet, I want to give you a little rubdown,” and give her a little foot massage – women love foot massages.
Move up to her ankles a bit and give her more of a massage. Alternatively, you can give her a foot massage during the movie, and then it will be her turn and she’ll massage your feet.
After the movie you look into her eyes, give her a couple of little kisses, and at that point: she’ll attack you. You’ve been slowly seducing her, which is every woman’s dream.
Client: Yeah, that totally makes sense. I can really see that.
David: And what happens next? You’re in the bedroom, having great sex because it was her idea. When you make sex her idea, it is amazing. When you force sex on her, it’s rape. She’ll never like it. And she’s had versions of that so many times before. She has been out before with guys who have had to sell the idea to her – “come on, you know you want me, come up to my house!”
No – you have to act like you had sex with the most beautiful woman in the world just last night. Even if you haven’t slept with anyone in six months, you still have to act like you’ve had sex recently and aren’t desperate.
You have to have patience with it. If you have patience, she will give her body to yours freely. And that’s what you really want. You don’t want it to be forced. If she gives it up freely, it is amazing sex.
DAMN!!! I hope every guy pays attention to this post- it’s all so true and that’s perfectly played.
A question from the girls’ POV though- you really like this guy, you’re just getting to know each other, there’s no commitment, no guarantee you’re going to hear from him again, or that he’s going to want some kind of relationship, yet you want him. What’s the best way to get a guy emotionally involved w/ his heart, w/o scaring the guy off or having him freak out b/c you want more? Girls know that one all too well- too many guys want everthing physically yet unwilling to give anything emotionally or relationally. There is an unfair double standard in the biological make-up of us women, that dang emotional bonding hormone gets us the majority of the time on some level, even if a lot of women pretend it doesn’t. Thoughts?
Beautifully played! A good kiss less than a hop, skip, or jump into the bedroom. The dismissals can cause some confusion (why isn’t he acting like every other guy I know?). If the woman is interested, she will doll herself up even more for your next meeting. The text message is also cute, much better than the usual “You have beautiful eyes/butt/whatever”.
Seduction is the key. It leaves the door wide open for fantasy. It doesn’t matter much to me where the relationship is going (if anywhere), the act of being seduced is enjoyable all by itself.
Good stuff David! You should have your own chapter in “Art of Seduction.”
I think the most important thing you said was actually at the end,
“You have to have patience with it.”
In the end, it is all about patience. There is such a lack of patience in this world that any sign of patience is attractive (in this situation) to women.
And just by the way you described it, it’s foolproof. Connection will be the basis of any long lasting relationship, even if this relationship is only sex. There needs to be an initial connection that’s strong enough to take it to the next level.
Great post, David!
Great post!
I’m still young so I don’t always have the patience but I’ll agree that you always want to make sex her idea. It’s really about seducing her mind and making her want MORE out of you.
You want to lead by giving her a little and stopping a bit right before it gets too much. You want to create the sexual vibe but never break it… and that’s why the pausing, or the waiting for the next date is great.
Seduction is not what you do to her mind when you are with her, it’s also what you do to her mind when you are NOT with her.
A lot of guys rush into things and they push, and they push and they push. So naturally, the woman puts the brakes on.
But if you take your time, if you learn to seduce and ride that sexual tension, if you can get her to think of you in sexual ways, it’s only a matter of time before you go to the bedroom together.
Unless it is me and I have a 30 day rule or a minimum of 5 dates. Keeps ‘em honest and drives the guy nuts.
I wanted to say great post today, but Khiem already said that so I will say wonderful post today
When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend’s Dad. He said, ‘I want my daughter back by 8:15.’ I said, ‘The middle of August? Cool!’
Ya, i certainly like the idea of making sex her idea. Certainly a skill to perfect.
on another note, i like your surpise pick of the jets. Farve will energize the team and it will come together for them a bit more.
this was a really funny blog! and totally true..love this one: “you don’t get dizzy from a shitty kiss.”
what i didn’t like was the “alright, get out” dismissal part.. if you say it in a playful way it might be ok, but as a girl
i wouldn’t be too excited over being dismissed like that 
CR – i understand your confusion.. i feel the same way too, but i’ve realized that with guys it’s all about timing.. you have to be able to understand his needs and where he is at in his own life.. emotionally, career wise etc. etc. they’ll want something on an emotional level when they’re ready.. it sucks though, when we are ready and they’re not..
hmmm.. i don’t really know if there’s anything to do about that?
Well after watching the first Sunday I can’t pick New England so i’d say Colts and Giants. But maybe thats just wishful thinking
Oh and David never bet on Arizona! lol
Great Article. I love it. So much good information about dating, and online hook ups. GREAT JOB!
Totally disagree! This guy– is a pick up artist – and can never sustain a romantic or practical relationship in the long run. He thinks women are not SMART. If his sole purpose to “bed” the woman…then intentions need to be clear from the beginning. Yes, real women appreciate and accept honesty but not self-serving pretense.
JMH, he is a pick up artist, no question ….and maybe he can’t love. We don’t know. But he is teaching technique that anyone can learn. And it’s through such behavior that ALL manner of sexual relations can more *quickly* begin, be it healthy or otherwise. His message is how to get a new relationship off the ground. He’s teaching “slow down,” “friends first” …not date rape. And don’t forget the guy usually doesn’t know so much about her. And at each juncture along the way either party can bow out for any reason and there’s plenty of time offered to do just that.
And don’t forget, the woman is more than a pawn in this process. Maybe tis she whose body hasn’t been touched in months and simply wants an intimate encounter. Or maybe the opposite, wanting a LTR. Let’s hope she’s not a silent partner in this process, and that she reacts appropriately to any of his stuff she views as negative.
I just view this blog as a great way to get something off the ground in a friendly and healthy way. Take some risk and if it’s bad, pull in the reins, but it could also be the beginning of a lasting friendship that’s headed towards pure good, “good” as the two people involved define it.
JMH And I Am Frank
Are you calling me a pick up artist?
I am teaching men how to learn how to attract and meet women YES!!
But I am not some sleezy guy who spends my day picking up women. I personally dont care at all and if i meet someone thats great.
If not….then i am 100% satisfied in my life.
Pick Up Artists are men that could care less about what the women says and are all about seducing and picking up.
Pick up artists use routines.
This is not a routine this is all about human emotions and how it works.
Its how you use the information.
I dont use it as a way of manipulating women…..i dont use it to create false attractions.
A pickup artist will use what i post to create all of the above.
A pickup artist tends to be a man who is immature and still needs validation by picking up women,
I was once a pickup artist in my 20s…..and had no problems with it.
But i way past that time in my life and happy that i am!
You need to get to know me and if you knew me and read this blog on a regular basis you would not use that work pickup artist to describe me.
Time for you guys to do your home work
WOOO! This is awesome. I’m all about kissing, thats how I get turned on. You are correct in saying that girls love to kiss, guys dont. WHY???
So, yes it is totally mental for women. I love this, great job!
JMH, more info is in. Now we know David is an upright guy and all he wants is for our happiness. I’m satisfied with his claims and stand corrected. Likewise, JMH, I want to assure you I love and honor women. I’ve just finished up a lengthy marriage and am not wanting to waste a lot of time getting back into the dating scene. Hence, David. From what I’ve experienced during these past months it has been just great and all I can say is that I just want more. For myself, I’m not rulling out a LTR or even marriage, I just want to experience a healthy feel for the dating scene now that I’m way beyond my twenties. I’ve gone into each of a half-dozen relationships with one goal and that’s to make AND KEEP new friends. Companionship. Fun times. We’ve done that through frankness and respect for the other party. No drama and absolutely no surprises. I’m actually sort of proud of me and my partners. So if you are approached by a nice guy, albeit a little nervous, cut him some slack, it very well could be me, and I just want you to smile and be happy, and let’s have some fun if we can.
Heather -
As a guy, I have no idea why men don’t like to kiss. I LOVE to kiss! There is so much a man can do if he’s a good kisser. So many nerves to play with and so many ways to turn someone on…just by kissing.
It’s funny because there are countless articles about how to turn a woman on and very few of them mention kissing, when, if done right, a kiss could do much more than anything else you could do.
So guys, instead of hating kissing…learn to love kissing. It will do wonders.
JMH & IAmFrank:
Speaking as a woman — I don’t see how you’re coming to the conclusion that what David is describing makes him a pickup artist.
What is wrong with building some attraction over the course of a few dates? Truth be told, when I read this blog, my first reaction was — “that would SO work on me!” The fact that David gets how women are wired sexually doesn’t make him a pickup artist –
The fact that a man wants to have sex with a woman and knows how to elevate a woman’s desire to have sex isn’t a bad thing …
Infinity —
I agree with you 300%
I can say that if a man is a really good kisser, I will not only let him (but want him to) do pretty much whatever else he wants
Kristen, >>> man want sex and elevates womans desire to same <<<
Here here!. Three cheers for the guys that do it best…….
David – I meant no offense to you or your expertise on the subject. However, I don’t believe I’ve missed the intent of the article– physical seduction, attraction, and connection. Right? I implore you to help me understand how deep and enduring will this connection be? Does it go beyond the first dizzying kiss? Will a man become disillusioned after the first few dates that lead to satisfactory sex — even though it was her idea? How long do you think a quality woman will keep such a skilled lover around, if he has nothing else/more to offer? What I longed to read about was the sensual technique coupled with soul rapport. I believe if two people seek incredible and passionate love-making, then the powerful melding of mind, soul, and heart will create that connection and forge an unbreakable bond.
I will accept your kind offer to stay a while and learn more about you.
JMH –
How great that you are open to getting the whole story about David’s teaching and philosophy before making up your mind.
I’m sure David is going to want to respond to your inquiries, but having read literally every one of his blogs I can tell you this much … The things mentioned in the article that prompted this discussion were intended to be a “how to” make a woman excited to have a one-night stand.
While David has no judgment for anyone’s personal preferences in terms whether or not to have a one-night stand versus a long-term relationship … I have heard him talk over and over again both about how to and why it’s so great to take time to create intense sensual and sexual connections with women …
I did a quick search through the blogs to see if I could find some good examples of this — you might want to peek at these to start … then take a longer tour through the blogs
That’s one of the best ways to see what David is really all about 
Here’s a few to start with though that cover the topics you were asking about:
http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/the-best-part-of-sex-is-%e2%80%9cafter-sex%e2%80%9d/
http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/dripping-oozing-bubbling-and-gooing/
http://www.davidwygant.com/blog/are-you-an-orgasm-counter/
JMH — OOPS!!!! One MAJOR typo in my comment …. What I meant to say in this sentence was this:
“The things mentioned in the article that prompted this discussion were NOT intended to be a “how to” make a woman excited to have a one-night stand…
Big omission leaving the “NOT” out of that sentence