How To Never Bar Crawl
May 1, 2009 
9 Comments
The other night I had this dream that I got fat. Never in my entire life have I ever been heavy, due to some combination of working out all the time and good old-fashioned naturally high metabolism.
So right after I had this dream, I got my ass to a spin class (because through watching Lost I see that you can end up living in your dreams). After traveling to the land of the heavy, I know I prefer to stay thin so I took a spin class with my girlfriend.
My question is this: Who invented this thing? You’ve got this crazy person on a microphone barking out orders to you and giving you pretend scenery to look at while you’re pedaling on a stationary bike. I mean, really, this is supposed to be exciting?
By the way, do you know that you are every character in your dreams? That, however, is a conversation for another day . . . because today we’re going to talk about how to really have fun tonight if you are heading to a bar and its May 1st is anyone else wondering how that happened so fast!
One of the best social experiments I’ve ever conducted was at a bar one night with a friend. We were in this really packed bar, and everyone was there on the hunt – the guys were there eyeing the girls in their packs – you know those packs, right? Where they are protecting each other from those annoying guys?
So we just stood right in the middle of the bar. We were just talking about our relationships, our friends – it was just a really passionate conversation. We were animated; there were hand motions and eye contact between the two of us.
And women were coming over to us all night long, asking, “What are you guys talking about?” “My friends and I were just wondering what you might be talking about so intensely?” “Can we join in on the conversation?”
They were coming over and throwing themselves on us all night long. Why? Because we were not chasing them. We were not crawling our way into bars or conversations. We went out and we were into the conversation with each other.
Most guys don’t understand that women are attracted to what they know. And what do women do when they go out on a Friday night with their friends? They’re into each other’s conversations.
Women recognize their own habits, and they are into their own habits. Think about what we attract in relationships – we attract who we are, not what we want.
The biggest fallacy in the world is thinking we can attract what we want. But in reality, what we are attracting is like looking into a mirror.
Think about how frustrated you get when you fight with your lover. It’s so frustrating because you are fighting with yourself. That’s what makes it so hard.
If you can take a step back and realize that you’re fighting with yourself, you start to understand that person better. You’re not jumping into it.
Have an amazing Friday and check out this video on how obvious meeting women can really be. Plus for all my loyal women readers give this a look as well, it will really help you meet men.
I got a story to tell about spin bikes and it does involve me making an ass out of myself, as if that have never happen to me before. Since I was 7 I have been biking the streets of Copenhagen, so when I was asked by my stepson and his friend to join them in a Spin class, I said sure no problem. We get there and it’s all full of to the brim, all of them looking like seasoned spinners. Granted I used to be in tip top shape, not so much anymore, but hey this should be easy for a biker. With a healthy does of I can do this attitude-read like “a know it all” and not paying attention to the teacher-I start biking. I am “showing” off to the younger ones..no way are they going to say I could not keep up..Kinda competitive at heart. Now, So I am taking a break as you do when you are on a regular bike standing up on the pedals with stretched legs, my favorite as a kid going down the hill…Ouch…bad idea if I had paid attention to the teacher I would have picked on the little…the peddles never stop they keep on going around unlike a bike…Yep with in a split of a second I flew of the bike..no style points, but a lot of clumsy points and scraped legs. Laying on the ground with a bunch of faces that read, see that fat chick interfering with our class and having two teen hysterical laughing their ass off. Yes this was my first attempt into spin biking, and my last not for reasons of being a klutz, but it’s might just be one of the most boring exercise classes I have ever had.
Lesson learned, If I had only been Observant and In the Moment I would have saved my honor…Nah, I don’t care besides, it was a wonderful laugh and the teens spared no chances retelling the story.
LMAO! at your response marina. if i were there i wouldve yelled “FAIL!!”
But i want to respond to the end of the blogg where it says that we attracted who we are not what we want. I couldnt agree more with you more. Im not your average 18 year old black guy, i swim for my college and a club team over the summer. I listen to alternative rock just as much as i do hip-hop. Im finding myself wearing shirts that fit me more often than tall tees, which use to be my thing. However, i do sagg my pants and say slang words and wat not but wat teen doesnt? Andre 3000 says in a song “Throw some D’s”-the remix, “Aint a hood nigga but a nigga from da hood.” This is one of my favorite quote because that describes who i am. Im from the hood by im no hood nigga. My mom fusses at me all the time for not dating enough black girls but, u may or may not know this David, alot of black girls my age are hood-rats (translation-ghetto girls). And thats not who i am. Its hard to find a black girl like me and if so she prolly already has a boy friend.
This is the second time I’ve read about standing in the middle of the bar and talking animatedly. lol, now I HAVE to give it a try!
To all those folk who are gonna say …
“David! What the hell? You’ve posted this video already and I have already seen it! You suck, you and your sunglasses!”
… here is my response.
I have also seen this video a number of times (at least three). And every single time I watch it, I have learned something new. Everything David says is obvious, but just because it is obvious does not imply it’s simple. It may appear simple and stupid to “beginners”. But behind this “simplicity” lies great depth. It is from this great depth of simplicity, that you actually learn how to talk and connect with women. The simplest and most obvious things in life take the most amount of mastery.
Have a great weekend everyone!
Great post,
Lifes about stepping up and having the courage to
share our best with others
Did you know that I had a dream when I was with my ex husband that I went bald headed and he left me because of it. Sometimes I wonder if our dreams tell us things to look for. My dreams are stupid at times and some them seem real.
Oh getting caught was visiting relatives that came in from a different state that I had not seen in awhile.
Great video, I agree. I prefer not to be a predator. I find chat up lines cheesy and they are so obvious, the women know what you’re about. Its not really just about chatting up women, but its nice to use observations for a bit of small talk and cement the relationship with people you know and get to know them a bot better.
We attract the same energy we put out. Why? The reason for this is the capacity we all have for empathy.. When we see sadness WE actually FEEL the sadness. When we see people laughing it triggers laughter in us.. etc. It’s the reason we cry at movies (not me personally.. wink) or start yelling when a football team, comprised of guys we don’t even know, gets cheated by the referee.
So, if you are having fun, feeling good, and enjoying a positive outlook on life.. people will experience those things TOO as they interact with you.. They’ll want more.. They’ll feel attraction.
David Gideon