How To Meet Great Women In Bars By David Wygant
Hope everyone is having an amazing weekend.
Todays video is a can’t miss, but you need to first read about how to be unique in bars.
Today I want to share with everyone a great question I got from someone in London. I’m sure all of you think about these same things when you go out at night too, so let’s talk about this right now!
Client: First of all, I have to commend you on the Men’s Audio Mastery Series – it’s one of the best audio series I have ever heard.
I also have two questions for you. You said that when you open someone in a bar, you want to ask the women for their opinion on something.
In the field in London, a lot of routine-based games use the opinion opener to open women. If you use the opinion opener and the girl has had many people open them with that previously wouldn’t she think, oh boy, here we go again or might they not think of that at all?
Also another question: if you are conversing with a woman and you find yourself at a lull in the conversation without anything to say, could you go back to a previous thing she said earlier in the conversation to start a new conversation with her?
David: Hey, great to hear from you. I will be in London doing a boot camp in September, which is posted on my website. It’d be great to work with you in person. Let me know if you have any interest.
If not, I’ll be doing some private coaching as well, if you can’t commit to the whole weekend. I’ll be doing some private coaching on the days in London also.
As for your e-mail, there are a lot of different opinion openers. The great thing about what I teach is that everything is not the same.
For instance, when I was in London last time, I was at the Sanderson Hotel, and I was working with a client of mine. This woman was staring at us, so I told my client to walk over and do this: walk right over to her and say, “hey, are you just going to stare at me all night and check me out, or are you going to come over here and talk to me?”
Do this, I told him, and do it with a big smile. Then all of a sudden she’ll start laughing; she’ll say something to excuse herself. Before she explains and babbles, you can look at her and ask, “do you have approach anxiety?”
Say, “I hear there are some great books on the Internet that’ll help you overcome that!” Laugh. Say all this with a smile. She will inevitably start laughing really hard, and then you can tease her a little more.
Ask her, “are you shy?” And she will respond, “well, you know…” and then you can start talking about it a little bit. And you’ll have things to talk about. It will be a fun game to do at night.
When you’re at the bar at night, you need to make it fun. You need to make it interesting. You need to make it different. That’s why I like day game much better than night game. Because night game, you need to play around a little bit more.
Another way to open up a woman in a bar at night is when she bumps into you. You can say to her, “excuse me.” She will ask you, “what?” You can then say, “I need to know your name.” And then she will respond, “my name is Amy.”
“All right, Amy, I just need to know because if tomorrow I wake up all bruised from you bouncing into me all night, I need to be able to tell my buddy that I was in this bar last night and this girl Amy kept bumping into me all night. What, do you play rugby or something?”
So there you go – you’re being fun, playful, and you’re being DIFFERENT!
Now, you know my approach for texting, right? I think I put the texting at night approach on the Mastery Series, but I’m not sure. So I’ll outline it here:
You basically walk up to a woman who has been hanging out with her friends. You have your buddy text you, but make sure his name is not in there. Have him text you this: “last night was great. Maybe another drink later tonight?”
And so you walk over to a woman and you say to her, “look, I just got this text, and I have absolutely no idea what it means. No idea. But before I show you the text on my phone, I need to give you a little bit of a back-story.”
Keep going: “last night I went out with this woman for a drink. We had a glass of wine, hung out for an hour and a half, and that was it. I didn’t think there was any chemistry, and I had no idea what she felt. I didn’t even think much of anything about it, but I just got this text from her right now. What does it mean?”
So then they will pass your phone around, and they will start to laugh. They’ll start to smile. One of them will say, “booty call!” You can then say, “aha, is that what you call a booty call?” And then you get the conversation rolling from there.
There are just a few of new tips for you.
Now, if the conversation starts to get slow, what you have to realize in your mind is that not everyone you talk to you will be able to connect with. The problem with men is that they think that just because they have the guts to approach a woman, every conversation has to work out. Some conversations just don’t work out.
Think about in terms of soccer. The guy has an open shot, right? A penalty shot. He takes ten penalty shots. Does he make every penalty shot? Absolutely not. If the odds were ten for ten, there would be no such thing as a hard penalty shot or an easy penalty shot, right?
So, sometimes the conversation just dies. You have no chemistry with her at all, so it doesn’t matter. If you follow the things that I teach – meaning you listen very carefully to what she is saying – you will be able to tell.
You should use portal words, which means that if she says, “oh this weekend is so fantastic, it’s my grandmother’s birthday,” you can ask, “really, how old will your grandmother be?” She might respond, “my grandmother will be 92.” You can then look at her and say, “congratulations, what’s her secret?”
If you listen very carefully to what a woman says, and you transition using the emotional portal words that I talk about, you will become a much better conversationalist in the long run.
Don’t ever worry about what other people have done going out. Most people are not going out using the things that I have used. I’ve been in London coaching guys for a long time, and let me tell you: my stuff is different, as you know, than most other garbage that is out there. Most of the stuff is pick-up BS and that’s it.
Alright, have a great weekend, and let me know if you want to take the boot camp in London. I have a few spots left. Let me know if you want to do some one-on-one coaching too. It’d be great to work with you when I’m in your neck of the woods. I will talk to you later! Thanks for the questions.
Todays video is a really great one.
I go over the 4 keys to attracting women…….Enjoy and have a great Saturday!
After walking around bars/clubs and talking to a bunch of women last night, the biggest roadblock I had was dealing with their expectations. Even though I wasn’t drunk, i felt like alot of them thought I was drunk or just were tired of being hounded all night. Its just harder to hold their attention. You have to be REALLY playful and not put pressure on yourself to make anything happen.
So I agree with David – its like you have to be at a higher level, so why not talk to more women during the day? or better yet, invite a woman you met during the day to go out with you at night.
When going to bars or night clubs – look for a woman who is continually “looking” around. Generally their bored or their on the hunt for a new b/f and if you can bring some fun their way – you might just make a new friend!
Here is something to try.
Your at a bar and you see a girl you want to meet in a group of 2 or 3. Walk up and introduce yourself to everybody. Once the introductions are out of the way tell them a funny story or a joke if you want. Hopefully they laugh. Once the laughing dies down ask them how they all know each other and if there’s a special reason that they’re all out on the town. Tell them it was nice meeting them and that you have to get back to your friends. But before you go say that you’d like to get their opinion on something….
Tell them that earlier in the day you were asked a question.
The question was, “Which was a better feeling to have, regretting something you had done or regretting something that you should have done?..” Tell them that personally you don’t have any regrets but if they had to pick one or the other, what would it be?
They think about it for a few seconds and they come to the same conclusion one way or the other or they have conflicting views.. They then ask me what I think to which I reply,
” It’s better to regret something that you have done…. Why?… Cos its better to do something and at least know what the outcome was than to not do anything and always wonder… What if?”
You then give them an example of what you mean by saying, ” Ok so there’s this guy in a bar and he sees a girl he wants to meet”. ( As you tell the story only make eye contact with the (friends) of the girl you’re interested in )….. Continue the story by saying, “Now the guy has 2 choices, either go up to her and say hi or stand back and do nothing. He decides to go up to her. All he wants to do is just go up say hi see what she’s like and look into her { eyes even if its just for a few seconds }”. ( When you deliver this part of the story, ignore her friends and look directly at the girl you’re into and pause for a split second… Not in a creepy way )… End the story by saying, ” the guy talks a little more with the group and in particular the girl he likes and eventually asks her for her number. In the end maybe he gets her number or not. If he doesn’t get the number he may regret going up for a bit but its definitely better than wondering what if?”
Tell them you got to get back to your friends but it was nice meeting them and as you turn to leave give your girl a nice smile.
If she’s smart she’ll pick up on what you were doing and she’ll come to you and you’ll get her number.
bleh, should so have done this last night but i didn’t! it’s okay i’ll do it next time for sure.
Reading what Barr said, that sounds pretty much exactly like MM. Witty opener, false time constraint (gotta get back to my friends), opinion question, go in to the story with the friends, ignoring (negging) the target. It’s certainly a canned routine. I’ll let those with better experience judge that approach, but it seems counter to what David teaches in using in the moment observations and not being so calculating about it all. Just my thoughts.
Gah! I hate bars! It could be that I haven’t found a ‘good’ one yet, but every time I hit a bar, I feel like the men are desperate and the women are pieces of meat. No thanks! Plus, it’s usually brilliantly loud and intolerably smokey, and neither of these are conducive to a happy, talkative Coby.
Hey Scott,
I don’t know what MM is. Can you explain it….. As far as the routine goes, its most definitely canned. I’m a big fan of Davids natural observational approach and I think its a great way to meet girls during the day. The blog was about “how to meet girls in bars”. The game is the same but the rules change. The girls are in groups and their defence shields are up. I do like to go to bars on the weekend with my friends guys/girls. If I see a cute girl I wont let the chance go. Yes its a canned routine, but its playfull and non threatening and it leaves the decision entirely in the girls hands.
As far as the ( neg ). A neg to me is a negative comment directed towards the girl I’m actually interested in.( Not target ) I dont like the word target. This routine is just to simply to let the girl know that she’s the one you’re actually interested in and in a non threatening way. That is if she picked up on what you were actually trying to do.
I like Davids buddy text message ” routine “. I haven’t tried it yet but I’m going to for sure someday.
Barr.
PS: Just figured out what MM was. Yes it is that method to a point and then switches to Davids walkaway bit……. Good stuff!
There is actually nothing wrong with Barr’s approach. It works but it’s definitely not something that David and I would teach.
What is good about Barr’s approach is that it creates intrigue with the woman he likes, and it befriends all of her friends. What is also good is that it gives a direction to the interaction.
If done properly, Barr’s approach is quite good and almost flawless.
What is bad is that you don’t really need to do so much work to get the girl. What is also bad is that it doesn’t set up a real connection with the girl nor does it really tell you what the girl is about so it doesn’t give you any clues on what to do next when you want to setup the date.
By the end of Barr’s approach, the girl would be intrigued but she’s not invested in him in any way. As soon as the girl leave the bar, normal day life priorities might take over and she may not feel as inclined to return his calls.
If you understand what women get turned on by, there are a lot of things you can cut out of Barr’s approach.
First, he doesn’t need a time constraint. If you carry yourself in a powerful way and you commit to talking to someone, people don’t reject you. You also don’t need to “pretend” that you JUST want an opinion from them. You can go in, have fun with them, help them have fun… and connect on a more genuine level. All of this can be done in 5 min or less.
Approach them with confidence. When the girls can see that you are COMMITTED to talking to them, they don’t reject you.
Befriending all her friends is definitely a good move…. but being social with EVERYONE at the bar (including the bar staff) on the way to them is an even better move. You can create social proof. Women react to you based on how they see other women react to you. It creates intrigue as well as show them that you are friendly and approachable.
Having fun and helping them have fun shows that you are a likable guy and you have personality.
If time permits, you can stick around and get deeper with the group or if not, you can get the phone number simply based on the fact that they are fun.
From there, walking away is perfectly legitimate. It shows you aren’t needy. You enjoy them but you don’t need them. You probably got their numbers already so by giving them the bests 30 sec to 5 min of yourself, you make them want more of you. It’s appealing to their sense of intrigue and curiosity.
If you prefer to stick around, pulling the interested girl on the side is better. You can build a real connection and get to know her.
While you have her on the side, you can make her feel good about herself, you can show appreciation for who she is, and you can find out plenty of things about her that you can use to setup the date and create that serendipitous moment.
Obviously, what I just wrote can sound a lot like Barr’s approach but in a different order… but the point here is the focus of what David teaches is different.
You don’t need to pretend anything or to “manipulate” the social logistics. You don’t need pretexts either to get the girl. Even though Barr’s approach is quite good, you are coming from a place of… “I got to be seen as interesting to get the girl” whereas, the girls should be the one wondering if they are cool enough for you to stick around and that’s what David teaches.
Come in with confidence.
Talk to them like normal people. Show your personality vividly.
Have fun and help them have more fun because you are there. It shows that you are powerful and non-needy.
Walk away so they want more of you (with or without their numbers)