Do You Value Your Time By David Wygant
Memorial day weekend in LA and it is 54 degrees and raining!!! I love the rain so its a nice break!
Today we have a great video on how to create great first dates.
So you met a man or a woman and you created some instant attraction.
Now what do you do.
Are you going to be a great flirt?
Are you going to stop the monkey chatter and turn off the negative thinking long enough to connect with women.
Are you a woman that has trouble connecting with a man on a first date.
Todays video will help you out….but first you must read todays blog!!
Are you somebody that really values every minute of your day? Do you make a conscious effort to basically respect yourself?
Do you make an effort to make sure you get dressed in the morning, to make sure you eat a good meal for breakfast, to make sure you get a good eight hours of sleep?
Are you somebody who looks forward to certain TV shows, and you make the time for the certain things in your life that are important to you? Maybe you make the time for working out, maybe for getting your favorite cup of coffee in the morning.
Do you make the time for all of the little things in life that you love? Do you make the time for other people? And are you on time?
It’s amazing how many people make the time for the things that they want, but then when they are meeting someone, they are running 30 to 45 minutes late without a phone call or anything. That, to me, shows that you absolutely do not respect the people you are meeting, and you do not respect other people’s time.
If someone commits time to you – if they commit their heart – if they commit their time to you and tell you that they will meet you at a certain time, you’d better show up, and you’d better be on time! They are taking time out of their day to get to know you, and they’re taking time out of their day to hang out with you.
By not showing up on time – whether it’s a date or a business meeting – you’re basically telling somebody that you don’t respect their time. So the next time you’re running 20 minutes late, and you’ve got the thing called a cell phone, use it! Call the person.
As a matter of fact, if you’re running late, call the person an hour ahead of time! You already know that you’re running late – you already know that you’re going through whatever regimen you have that is causing you to be late in the first place.
But don’t make people wait for you without an explanation. Because by the time you actually show up, many times, if it’s a date, you’ve already been ruined – no matter what you do. Especially if it’s a first or second date, when you’re trying to make a good impression on somebody? You’re done.
So next time: check the clock, or just leave a little earlier
Fantastic blog today David!!
To me this is somewhat less of a “priorities” issue, though, and more of a plain courtesy issue. It amazes me the things people feel are ok to do to someone in a dating context that they would never do a friend, a family member or a colleague.
To be late without calling – whether you’re meeting a friend, a family member, a work colleague OR yes, a date – is just plain rude and inconsiderate. It doesn’t matter that it’s a date (1st, 2nd or … 100th).
I think if we would treat people we are meeting for a date with the exact same courtesies as we do our friends, then so many “dating etiquette” issues would be EASY to master. So, when in doubt, remember that if you wouldn’t do something to a friend then don’t do it to a date
Thanks David for giving us great advice as usual!!
Time, time time….
What a magic word!!
I hate waiting for people in general.
I remember last semester I waited for one girl and after like 10-15 minutes waiting I just left…She called me around 10 times just to feel better. Her explanation to me was that she is just Spanish and woman, which I greatly realized that its just part of the culture that I am not familiar with…
Another example was also last semester for me. We agreed to have a double date with my friend and and two girls from Colombia..We waited for them at the metro station for ONE hour!!!! Yes, one hour..They told us that they were sorry and were Colombian and also women…
Of course we did not waste the time. We met other women and tried to connect with them..We also realized that meeting women in public spaces isn’t that easy since there is not that much you can talk about. With my friend we used the approach that we are tourists from another countries and looked for a park to walk around..LOL It worked at certain level:-) We had a great time!!
There was a study made on how people spend life time in general. The scientist concluded that one third of life we just wait for someone somewere! 1/3 of life you just do nothing because somebody is late!
This is part of me where I did not connect with Spanish people and Spanish waiting culture in general even I have been told that waiting is just “part of the culture”…
I am also late sometimes. That just happens. When I realize I am late, short message makes the case and I am not loosing respect and show the person that I value the her/his time.
Hasta pronto
P.S. David. Man. Since I watch these videos I realized one thing. As you talk about around and around about the power of observation and just listening.
I had my exam today. It was DELE (Diploma espanola como lengua extranjera) exam and majority were women. We had breaks in between the exams because they examined almost everything – vocabulary, listening, writing, speaking etc…
I noticed that this woman/girl was apart from the rest of the group and was reading some kind of book. She was hot I mean beautiful and again I realized how visual I am.
I let her be since we had a great time with my friends just talking but from time to time our eyes met and we exchanged a smile
After the exam I left the building and this same girl was sitting under palm all by herself. I walked over like nobody’s business and asked her about her book, exam etc.
We connected, I made fun of her since she did not know where is Czech republic is located on the map of Europe (like most Americans!!
) and we had a great time.
At the end she asked me for the age and told me she was 16!!! That’s 9 year less than me!!
I felt like an old geek and walked away..LOL
Anyway.
The bottom line is this.
Observation became part of me. I look at my life like a TV. Seriously. I comment other people actions, comment whats going on and it just comes to me naturally.
Time, time time….
What a magic word!!
I hate waiting for people in general.
I remember last semester I waited for one girl on a date and after like 10-15 minutes waiting I just left…She called me around 10 times after just to feel better. Her explanation to me was that she is just Spanish and woman, which I greatly realized that its just part of their culture that I am not familiar with…
Another example was also last semester for me. We agreed to have a double date with my friend and and two girls from Colombia..We waited for them at the metro station for ONE hour!!!! Yes, one hour..They told us that they were sorry and were Colombian and also women…
Of course we did not waste the time. We met other women and tried to connect with them..We also realized that meeting women in public spaces isn’t that easy since there is not that much you can talk about. With my friend we used the approach that we are tourists from another countries and looked for a park to walk around..LOL It worked at certain level:-) We had a great time!!
There was a study made on how people spend life time in general. The scientist concluded that one third of life we just wait for someone somewhere! 1/3 of life you just do nothing because somebody is late!
This is part of me where I did not connect with Spanish people and Spanish waiting culture in general even I have been told that waiting is just “part of the culture”…
I am also late sometimes. That just happens. When I realize I am late, short message makes the case and I am not loosing respect and show the person that I value her/his time.
Hasta pronto
P.S. David. Man. Since I watch these videos I realized one thing. As you talk about around and around about the power of observation and just listening.
I had my exam yesterday. It was DELE (Diploma espanola como lengua extranjera) exam and majority were women. We had breaks in between the exams because they examined almost everything – vocabulary, listening, writing, speaking etc…
I noticed that this woman/girl was apart from the rest of the group and was reading some kind of book. She was hot I mean beautiful and again I realized how visual I am.
I let her be since we had a great time with my friends just talking but from time to time our eyes met and we exchanged a smile
After the exam I left the building and this same girl was sitting under palm all by herself. I walked over to her like nobody’s business and asked her about her book, exam etc of course with smile on my face and curiosity that is just part of me..
We connected, I made fun of her since she did not know where the Czech republic is located on the map of Europe (like most Americans!!
) and we had a great time.
At the end she asked me for the age and told me she was 16!!! That’s 9 year less than me!!
I felt like an old geek and walked away..LOL
Anyway.
The bottom line is this.
Observation became part of me. I look at my life like a GIANT TV. Seriously. I comment other people actions, comment whats going on and it just comes out of me naturally and there is always stuff to talk about. Listening is other part that I learn that and it feels gooooooooooooooooood
Thats why looking at your video and listening is just like – man, how could I do it differently?? Observation, listening, Observation, listening, Observation, listening,Observation, listening,Observation, listening,Observation, listening,Observation, listening,Observation, listening,Observation, listening,Observation, listening,Observation, listening,Observation, listening,Observation, listening,Observation, listening….
I just wanted to share with you all here that it feels great to have such skill. Its not even skill, its just something that comes out of me naturally. I don’t even think about it, I just say it and Its a lot of FUN!!
Damn, I wrote a little mini book here:-)
Fiesta was good and I’m tired and going to bed.
Have all a great weekend!
OK David, feedback time.
You know how in Windows before you delete anything it asks you at least ten times if you really want to delete it??
Something similar would be greatly appreciated on the blog here but in different manner.
When I write something and then press this “submit comment” button it could ask me if I already finished putting all my ideas together and if I am sure that in my written text there aren’t any grammar mistakes:-)
By accident I pressed submit comment button and now there is my unfinished comment..
Great stuff here David!!
David this is really great i have a question that old tale about women checking you out is that true like do they give you a look and their the only ones whom yo ucan have a chance with or can i go up to whomever i feel like society has made us all to shy
Being late sure does mark you. If you’re late even once, you lose location privileges. Say I grant you a next time. I get to pick, regardless of what you have to say because you made me wait, so I win. AND. Don’t be offended if I pick somewhere busy and public so that I can go do other things if you show up late again. Also, I probably won’t be there when you arrived. Late.
Sorry I’m late… what did I miss?
To Slava:
>>>>>I look at my life like a TV.
Hey, I did not know that transvestites frequent the blog here!
just pulling your leg:-)
15 Simple Ways to Keep Your Partner Happy .. –> sub head –> .. –> author(s) –> By David Wygant .. –> date –> Updated: May 27, 2008 (An More Recent Updated Version With The Appropriate Footnotes By Allison Lauderdale May 28, 2008)
So you’re in a relationship and your partner starts nagging. She tells you that you just don’t understand her, and that she really wishes that you would just do more “little things.”
(Actually, I don’t ‘nag’ that they don’t understand me… I nag that they act like assholes…if you can call it nagging.)
It’s not the big things that make her happy; it’s paying attention to the little details and showing you care that is really meaningful. (true, kinda.) She doesn’t necessarily need lavish gifts — she needs to know you’re thinking about her.(true)
Here are some ideas to get you started doing these “little things” she really wants:
1. Rub her feet instead of asking her if she wants you to rub her feet. Make it look like you want to do it.(This… this is good. ‘make it seem like you want to.’ Oh wonderful! I’m so happy you’re lieing to me about wanting to physically make me feel good!’ How about, you think about it for a moment. You love her, right? You like touching her, right? Do you like it better when she feels like shit or do you like it better when she feels appreciated? You dumbfuck. Of COURSE you like it better when she feels loved . Because then you’re both happy and harmonious together. Plus… a massage might lead to a massage for you… And/Or a deliciously fleshy tangle of hot sweaty love… And you’re always up for that, aren’t you?)
2. Make her dinner one night. Don’t ask her if she wants you to make dinner. Make her dinner before she gets home.(Good. But not just for ‘one night.’ Try every once in awhile. Like the same amount of times a month that she makes dinner for you. Say, if she makes a dinner for you for about three weeks of the month, you should try and get as many days as possible, since there’s only that one week where you guys go out or don’t eat or whatever. Or maybe offer to help make dinner while she makes it, or after she’s made it clean the dishes. Or split up the month evenly. You’re not stupid. You can divide, and so can she. She’ll notice if she’s doing everything… and she won’t like it being all one-sided.)
3. Light a candle so that she arrives home to a nice environment instead of coming home to the glaring lights of the television and other things.(I think males are too stupid to understand that. So I’ll make something clear. Make sure you light more than one candle-fire safe, of course- and DON’T leave all the appliances ..ward. Turn everything off, and then light your candles. Maybe clean the house a bit, too. Hey! She cleans up after your messy ass! Her mess is easy compared to yours. Don’t worry too much about putting things away in the wrong places. Unless she’s a bitch and/or you are ridiculously stupid and decide the most logical place for her clothing in a windstorm in on the roof, she’ll just be happy you thought of it and tried. Plus, she has a little less to do. I mean, all she has to do is replace the things you accidently put where they don’t go back.)
4. Send her a text in the middle of the day telling her “I miss your smile from this morning” or “Last night was amazing!” or “The conversation we had last night was great.”(This is nice– if you mean it, and if you don’t just want something material in return. Also, try and make it things that are meaningful, not a bazillion random things that make no sense–’thank you for putting your socks on.’ Unless she’s a hound dog and the you could follow it up with something silly like ‘thank you for putting your socks on… so I can take them off later when I make love to you after I give you the best foot massage you’ve ever had. I LOVE YOU.’ Now that’s sweet, and personalized, because depending on your female, you knw she likes it. Watch that it doesn’t appear like your stalking her, or texting ecause you’re too lazy to work, though.)
.. –>End module–>
5. Send an eCard in the middle of the day… something cute to remind her how much you really care about her.(This is fucking retarded unless you’re dating someone superficial. If you are, please don’t have children with them.)
6. If she’s going on a business trip, offer to drive her to the airport or pick her up to make her life that much easier.(No. you BETTER do this. There’s no just offering. This is an unspoken and unchangeable rule. Unless your mom is dying or something, you’ll do this.)
7. Let her have control of the remote control. Don’t monopolize it for a change. Just give it to her and let her actually sit there and enjoying watching one of her shows. Then you can share one of her interests by watching it with her.(Or you could maximize your time- and brain cells- together and just not watch t.v. Instead, you could save the t.v. money and go to dinner, or buy her something, or buy you both something to share, or save it to invest in your child’s future, or move to another country after saving for awhile. And, on top of having that money, you could go for a walk, or talk to each other, or just stare deep into each other’s eyes, or work on the house together, or play a game… endless possibilities.)
8. Offer to iron one of her shirts or take her clothes to the dry cleaner.(Only if she actually likes her clothes being treated like that. And only if you know what you’re doing. Don’t ruin her clothes. You could also offer to have her teach you how to do these things properly. I promise, she’ll be delighted to teach you girly things. )
9. Clean up the bathroom without being asked. Don’t just sit there and ignore the mess around the toilet. If you know it drives her crazy to see water splashed all around the sink, dry that area after you use it.(YES! Amazing! And put the lid down, and clean the bathroom the ‘correct’ way. That means her way. Remember everything is relative. But if you do this, I promis you’ll both be happy. She’ll still clean it most of the time, anyway, but she’ll recognize your efforts and be really happy about it.)
10. If you work out together, enjoy it with her instead of rushing through your own workout and then not letting her workout at the same time.(Same goes with everything that isn’t ‘working out.’ Like walking. And shopping.)
11. Take a shower together, then wash her hair, scrub her back, and give her a spa treatment. Do this and enjoy it!(Maybe not every shower. Probably would be best if this was a special thing. I mean, shower together every time. But save the spa treatment for special times. That means even times that you don’t consider special but you know she does. Also, the normal showers you can sav for study time. How does she wash her own hair and body? What does she prefer to use and in what order? If you do things more like she does when you give her the special spa treatments, she’ll feel more comfortable. In addition, she’ll notice you watch her… and that will turn her on.)
12. The next time she gives you a massage, give her a massage the next day. Offer it! Don’t just say you’ll give her a massage…do it!(Or how about giving her a massage right after, or even at the same time? Geeze this guy thinks he knows women and relationships? Please! You’re barely tapping the iceburg. Nice try. But we wanna enjoy things together, not separately, most of the relationship time.)
13. Surprise her by making plans. Tell her, “We’re going out tonight honey.” You can even just go out for a drink or dinner somewhere. It’s taking the initiative that’s important.(And try not to make it drinks more than a few times. Also, spice it up a little. Plan something sweet and extravagent, but still personal. Like post-it notes leading to a candlelit dinner on the roof. Or a blindfold car trip to the mountains, to see a sunset and have a picnic. Or surprising her with a new dress and then taking her out to eat in it.)
14. Decide on and set aside one night a week as date night. Have a date like when you first started dating.(You can also do this randomly. Go up to her and ask her out, act shy, hit on her in a convincing way. You could go to a party and make it a game there, like you just met at the party.)
15. Call her in the middle of the day and just say hello. Don’t wait for her to call you.(But make sure she won’t be in a meeting or somewhere important as best as you can. People forget to turn their cells on silent. If you don’t, she may be angry at you for making her boss pissed at her. Otherwise this is an awesome idea! The ‘hello I love you just wanted to say that’ call is wonderful. You probably like those, too.)
It can be simple to keep her satisfied. It’s not necessarily about what you give her financially or what gifts you give her. That’s a cop out. It’s the little things. The guy who makes the biggest mistake is the one who ignores their significant other then all of a sudden give them an expensive gift to make up for it. That doesn’t make up for it at all.
(Its true,but I think you’re missig allot of things, as I listed above. Nice try, but all these little things can also be a cop out. Some jackass might read this and think as long as he make sure to do one of these little things at least once a month or so, he won’t have to do anything else. And he might be right, at least for a little while. I think a guy who’s reading this should really be reading a guide on how to actually care, how to actually try. If they only care about sex and avoiding a breakup, they aren’t ready for a relationship. They should also go get themselves tested and invest in condoms and just fuck around until they figure out how to have feelings. If they’re 30 and haven’t figured it out at least a little, I think they should seriously consider a vasectomy. and maybe I am being a little harsh. but honestly, you can’t expect to just have a list of 15 easy and simple ways to have a relationship. It’s just like a full time job, only the pay is better, because it pays in something lasting. If not in lasting love, it pays in experience, and that is worth everything.)
Not on book or about great first dates, this is on the article I just read on Yahoo! Titled “Simple ways of keeping your partner happy” and I didn’t find anywere else to write this (like a review section below the article) so I figured I would just write it here. I love how when everyone writes about relationships and improving the relationships, it’s always about the men who need the improving. Most people who write about improvements in relationships wont admit to that, it’s ok but that’s what everyone says or thinks when they hear improving the relationship. I look at it more like this, I’m happy, most men are happy, it’s the females that are the ones who need all the help. So in that how is it that men need to improve since we are happy and they are not. If it was just one man and one woman it would be understandable but since most of these articles and blogs come about more often than not, I would take to the understanding that most men are in need of help. It would be my opinion that the real help is needed by woman. If one partner is happy and the other isnt and its like that through out the ages, why is it that man has to change and do all the extra’s that a woman doesnt have to do or they think they deal with but later on complain. I say, woman should have to change. I can see them taking a break if they work hard all day, I would gladly give my wife a rub down while starting a bath but when I’m the one busting my rump trying to keep the work, make sure I dont do any habbits that may *make her mad*, and try to make her happy all in a day. Sounds to me like in your articles your trying to make a whipped man, keep the woman happy and you’ll be happy, that’s not the way it should be now or ever. It’s an equal buisness in a relationship, both sides should be happy. Dont do things for the sake of doing them to make her happy, do them because you generally want to do them because her happieness means something to you. Love over logic sucks, but you can’t do much about it because logically, no man would ever get with anyone and would just do what he wants, when he wants but then you get kicked in the head by love. Hate that word honestly, to gushy, going to try to change it to funk. Well the point of my ramble is that men shouldn’t have to change anything when we are happy, woman should have to change. They should have to release from there controlling minds, take a pill, and take a break (then maybe they’re feet wont hurt) and I garantee, the funk will never end.
I am new to this and not sure where to post this question. This seems like a good place for it. I want to know if you have any advice on where to meet a nice guy? Where can a single female, who has no kids, no debt, no heavy baggage, and is just simply a nice person to go?
I’ve tried online dating services and blogs. I’ve traveled to 13 countries. I’ve joined clubs, volunteered for things, and have even asked people to set me up. I’ve even hung out at hardware stores and computer shops, but after awhile management begins to think I’m some stalker or casing the place. I’ve been told to stop looking, so I have recently tried that and haven’t been on a decent date in 3 years. Most people at 40 are married or coming out of a marriage. Younger men are great for a night out, but they aren’t thinking about long-term. And I’m picky, which doesn’t help matters.
So, can anyone please tell me where to go meet men who are in their 30’s or early 40’s; who aren’t married or hate women so much that they take it out on me?
Thank you.
Keep reading here and you will see that Whole Foods comes up a lot! Cafes and museums too. I would think taking a class at your local rec&ed institution would be great. Or, if you read more here, you may want to change your “mindset” and just go out to have some fun and start talking to people without obsessing about “meeting men to take me out on a date who are in their 30s or 40s or not married or woman haters”….This is advice from a married guy(yes, still married!!!!) so it is not worth much, I am sure others will have better advice. And try to post it in a more recent blog post becasue the older they get the less traffic they attact. Ciao
Thanks for the advice. Yes, I do have fun when I go out. But I can’t help wonder if I am going to the wrong places to meet the right kind of men (you know what I mean). It’s been seven years since I have had a boyfriend, but that’s because I do travel a lot. Even still I am not shy (and too ugly
) and I do go out at least once a week. I have settled a bit and would like to have someone in my life now, but I just don’t know if I am in the right places to be at the right time. When your single this long, you can’t help but wonder… Where do all the nice guys go?
Thanks again… and yes, I probably chose the wrong spot to leave this question. I’m new to all this and it wasn’t a life or death question.
Hey Dave,
let’s see if anyone feels guilty after reading this blog he he
thumbs up
Markus
OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!
!!!!
I just HAD to post to this one, HAD to! I cannot even believe this. I must giggle at this moment, and let you all know how much I agree with this blog.
I must tell you all something, the last two guys I have dated were LATE! Heck, the last guy was not only LATE the first date by not ten minutes, not even thirty, but over forty-five minutes late… Also, he turned out to the the biggest flake of the century. Rarely called when he said he would, cancelled on things after we were already supposed to have met up. I am ashamed to say I fell for it for about three and a half weeks.
The guy before that was odd, I stood outside his apartment for 20 minutes before he came rushing out to tell me his (male) friend was joining us for our second date who had just broken up with his girl friend! How sweeeet…NOT!!!
My bad, I cannot be a total hypocrite, I made the same guy wait for me for 8 minutes the first date, but I did call to say I was still down the street. Karma? Probably. Will I allow this to happen again? I sure hope not!
I can go on for another thirty minutes on this one. Regardless, I am glad the “be on time” words are getting out their and being discussed.
Thanks a bunch!
Sara
Being a single man, I am wonding where I should go to meet someone like you. I know what you mean and I guess I had better try hanging at the Whole Food store, looking aimlessly at carrots or oranges. I guess its random, what ever will be, will be.
Exactly… This is what I am talking about. It’s not a matter of worrying so much about when. It’s just that I’d like to be where I am supposed to be to meet the nice guy and the one I’m attracted to. Just where to go… LOL, Whole Foods Store… not a place I go but maybe I should. I’ve tried computer shops and hardware stores. I’m now trying place I like to go to, which is dance clubs. Good luck and thanks again for your comment.