How to Approach Women on the Street By David Wygant
People are always asking, all the time: how do you meet somebody on the street?
There you are, walking down the street – part of the thing is that when you’re walking down the street, there are always plenty of things to look at.
So let’s say you’re in, say, New York City, where I am till till Sunday night. Last night a client and I were walking down 5th Ave which is a big shopping street. This shopping street had every type of store from the good to the really bad tourist stores.
This street also had a bunch of really drunk guys on it – that’s another thing too. Let’s talk about that right now. There are like eight or nine guys who all want to go out and meet women. And what do women find the least appealing? Eight or nine drunk guys walking down the street. Nothing can turn women off more than a bunch of drunk guys walking down the street.
Let’s talk about this for a second, before we get back to how to approach a woman on the street, because I think it’s really fascinating: men will go out on a Friday night and get absolutely hammered and polluted. Women will go out on a Friday night trying to avoid the hammered and polluted guys. But yet the hammered and polluted guys don’t even realize that the women are trying to avoid them.
So the guys get loud – these guys that are getting loud on the street right now are aged anywhere between 30 and 50. Every woman that has walked by has basically done so as far away from them as possible, because they don’t want to have any part of that.
But these guys don’t understand, and they don’t even see that. So guys, if you’re one of those guys that get hammered and polluted on Friday and Saturday nights – take a look at your counterparts. One of the best examples to figure out what you’re doing wrong is to look at other people – look at the guys that are just like you.
Look at the guys that are getting hammered and polluted and look at the way the women are completely running away from there – they’re repelled. It’s almost like insect repellant! You’re buzzed, but the women are not buzzing around you! The fact is that you’re like repellant.
But let’s get back to the other point of what I was talking about in the beginning of this oh-so-confusing blog we’re doing right now. This is one of those random ones.
Here we are in New York City and we’re walking down the street. It’s pretty amazing, because there is this church that is probably from the 1600s and there it is – right in between Café Moda, a shoe store with some of the ugliest shoes I’ve ever seen, and a bad clothing store, a store that has nothing but orange shirts.
Orange doesn’t look good on just about anybody. My black friends can wear orange, and my Hispanic friends can get away with wearing orange, but pasty white people like myself? Absolutely not. Orange on us looks like we were just sick and had the flu. But yet there is nothing but orange in the window, because it’s summer and for some reason they feel the need to promote orange shirts today!
But you could stop somebody on the street very easily by standing there and just being amazed by it – because everything in life is about being amazed. It’s about enjoying yourself. Life is like an observation.
So you could just all of a sudden stop – instead of looking for women, allow women to become attracted to you. So, stop when you’re with a friend or by yourself, and look at the church. Just take it in, and realize how beautiful it is.
And then when you see a group of women walk by, just say, “wow, look at this, it’s amazing.” I guarantee you that most women and most people are walking around in a coma – they’re not going to see it. They’re not going to feel it either.
So stop them and say, “look at this.” They’re going to say the same thing: they’ll say, “wow, that church is just unbelievable, look at it!” And you can get into a discussion about the architecture – you can try to guess from what era it is. You can guess what time frame it is. And then you can make fun of the orange shirts and make fun of other things around you.
But really, you should talk about the culture that everybody seems to be missing. Most people are missing all of the beauty around them. You have to point it out to them. Once you point it out, the conversation will roll.
Just started reading your stuff and I really like your style and what your site has to offer. When I tell people about your site, I remind them that this is what men ought to be. Manliness and the essence of being a man is getting lost and a post like this is a clear example of what guys need to be doing to return to man-like behavior.
The point about drinking is great. The other point on culture and history and depth of the individual is even better. Finally, the tip on creating conversation with women on the street is right on.
Thanks for the post.
Funny thing… I’m sitting here next to my friend who’s hispanic… and he does indeed look better wearing orange than I do.
David
I’m thinking to myself that women would think I’m just a nutter. I know you have to be in the moment and enthusiastic about your surroundings, but how many women would you say would actually stop and discuss this with you? Maybe its just where i live that thats the case. But to me if i did that (or something similar) most people would just raise their eyebrow and keep walking.
nice tips, the biggest thing i find myself doing is i get all happy with girl checking me out , than i tell myself “shit i don’t want to approach her and ruin this”
A lot of good advice on your site, but I got sick of playing the game. The answer for me was to change sexual orientation… yep – I’ riding with the boys now and it’s great!
All the sex I want and met some really cool people! Who needs women?!
I find this blog a little amuzing, David! (yes, I’m new here. But I’m catching up:))
I actually agree with Sam that that does not always work. To me it seems a bit movie like. A guy talking way too interestedly (is that even a word?) about a building or something in the street, and out of nowhere comes this beautiful woman and listens to his poetry
However, since I’m a female
I would probably look the same way as whoever guy that was staring in amaze at a building or something in a street.
Oh, a better tip! Play a photographer in the streets. Take pictures of things that you find intriguing..
hehe
Every woman would love to casually walk by your camera
How about that David?
I find this blog a little amuzing, David! (yes, I’m new here. But I’m catching up:))
I actually agree with Sam that that does not always work. To me it seems a bit movie like. A guy talking way too interestedly (is that even a word?) about a building or something in the street, and out of nowhere comes this beautiful woman and listens to his poetry
However, since I’m a female
I would probably look the same way as whoever guy that was staring in amaze at a building or something in a street.
Oh, a better tip! Play a photographer in the streets. Take pictures of things that you find intriguing..
hehe
Every woman would love to casually walk by your camera
How about that David?
I find this blog a little amuzing, David! (yes, I’m new here. But I’m catching up:))
I actually agree with Sam that that does not always work. To me it seems a bit movie like. A guy talking way too interestedly (is that even a word?) about a building or something in the street, and out of nowhere comes this beautiful woman and listens to his poetry
However, since I’m a female
I would probably look the same way as whoever guy that was staring in amaze at a building or something in a street.
Oh, a better tip! Play a photographer in the streets. Take pictures of things that you find intriguing..
hehe
Every woman would love to casually walk by your camera
How about that David?
I find this blog a little amuzing, David! (yes, I’m new here. But I’m catching up:))
I actually agree with Sam that that does not always work. To me it seems a bit movie like. A guy talking way too interestedly (is that even a word?) about a building or something in the street, and out of nowhere comes this beautiful woman and listens to his poetry
However, since I’m a female
I would probably look the same way as whoever guy that was staring in amaze at a building or something in a street.
Oh, a better tip! Play a photographer in the streets. Take pictures of things that you find intriguing..
hehe
Every woman would love to casually walk by your camera
How about that David?
I find this blog a little amuzing, David! (yes, I’m new here. But I’m catching up:))
I actually agree with Sam that that does not always work. To me it seems a bit movie like. A guy talking way too interestedly (is that even a word?) about a building or something in the street, and out of nowhere comes this beautiful woman and listens to his poetry
However, since I’m a female
I would probably look the same way as whoever guy that was staring in amaze at a building or something in a street.
Oh, a better tip! Play a photographer in the streets. Take pictures of things that you find intriguing..
hehe
Every woman would love to casually walk by your camera
How about that David?
Hey Sam,
I think it’s all about the energy and attitude you do it with. During the bootcamps, we do what David is describing all day Saturday and most of Sunday.
To paraphrase what one of the clients said during the May bootcamp, it feels like there’s a party everywhere we go, and when we move we bring the party with us. Anyone who sees it and feels the energy wants to be a part of it.
I think David has that on audio somewhere.
I really like the way he described it because his focus is exactly right. The party is with us (or with you, as you walk around your town) and other people want to join in because we’re just having so much damn fun.
Sure you might get a few people ignoring you. When we talk to people during the bootcamp, everyone does approaches, and everyone gets rejected sometimes — including the coaches — but that’s not the point.
If you learn how to give off that energy, there will always be people who want to talk to you.
– Patrick
Reynold,
I totally get what you mean. I’ve had that feeling often. I see a cute girl, she looks me up and down, and gives me that little smile. Suddenly my mind is racing to think of a way to keep her around, and at the same time I’m going “Don’t screw this up!!”
Of course there’s a few things wrong with that mentality. First, most guys get checked out way more than they realize, so it’s good to remind myself there will be other cute girls today. Second, I’ve found it’s really important to let go of the compulsion to approach every cute girl who makes eye contact.
These two ideas actually go together. When I have those thoughts, I’m thinking of women as a scarce commodity, so I feel pressured to capitalize on every opportunity. When I convince myself that opportunities with attractive women are everywhere I can allow myself to relax.
What I told Sam applies here too. As you walk around, carry the party with you. When you get checked out, smile back and say “Hey, how’s it goin?”
Maybe she’ll stop, maybe she won’t, but it doesn’t matter. The party is still going on with you.
– Patrick
Your dating advice and articles are, hands down, THE WORST advice I have ever read. For one, you always broad brush in your articles. Not all women and not all men are exactly alike simply because they share gender.
Your most recent nonsense about 10 symptoms of a needy guy, or whatever they were, was rubbish. ALL of my female friends would far prefer a guy who asks if we had a good time, who is willing to break plans to be with us, who calls more than less, and who actually BEHAVE considerately versus playing the role you suggest they do: Indecipherable ( which you call ‘confident’ ), arrogant ( which you call ‘confident’ ), and your inference that ‘women are looking for men they can learn from’ nearly had me howling with laughter at how wrong headed the basic logic and premise of such a statement.
The ONLY people who should be giving any man advice about dating or approaching or having a relationship with women is from…ding ding ding…you got it: WOMEN. Not from a guy. Why? Because guys, in general, don’t have a clue how to approach women at all. Nor maintain relationships. And even less so taking advice from a ‘buddy kinda guy’ persona as you project.
It’s condescending and patronizing that you lump all women together as having the same desires, needs, and ideals in men. And let’s get one thing straight wether you can wrap your mind around it or not David, women in general very much ARE visual creatures. Our sex drives aka lust DOES get kicked in by how men look and how they’re built. That’s one thing most men should understand straight away. Believing otherwise is only one of their problems.
And for everyone else, please don’t forget this guy is trying to build an entire career for himself. He’s selling books and I’d imagine fantasizes himself one day having his very own TV show on so he can regurgitate the cliched and equally wrong headed logic of books like ‘Men are from Mars…’. Talk about a spiral downwards and ten steps back in social evolution between men and women, and your dating advice often sounds like it’s been take straight out of that dunderheads book. IOW, very little of what you purport as true is any kind of new idea. It’s just an old bad one. Most of your ‘research’ isn’t actually field research. Also, you never bother to publically specifiy your research methods. Probably because they don’t exist.
People, if you want relationship advice you go to an old married couple first. If you want dating advice guys, don’t go to other ‘guys’. Ask the women in your life. Then ask their friends. Then ask some women who don’t know you at all. They’re more likely to give you the brutal truth. But your football buddies? No clue. And David, sorry man, but your advice sounds straight out of that den of hyper-macho, swaggering, lunkheaded thinking.
Damn! Wasn’t supposed to post like 5 TIMES! hehe, Something was seirously wrong with the loading of the site..
hmm, ignore the last 4 of my posts
Susan! What an awesome criticizm. It will be interesting to see what David has to say to that. I somehow keep comparing Mystery with David, because they both seem to be saying ALMOST the same things.
I just find these blogs amuzing and interesting, because they come from a guy and yet doesn’t come as close to how women think as intended.
I think they are experimental, as almost all people who ponder on life tend to experiment with ideas. I say; give the guy some slack, and let people take him as seriously as they want to:)
Susan …. WOW — you are one ANGRY woman!!! You seem to have quite a chip on your shoulder … and you sound like that stereotypical “woman scorned.”
I find it a bit ironic that you berate David for giving men advice (which should only according to you be given by a woman) but say nothing about the fact that David (as a man) gives women advice on a daily basis and coaches women.
Moreover, your criticism of what you THINK David teaches men is all wrong. I have actually met a number of men David has coached and let me tell you — they are such great guys! If you’ve spent any time reading this blog you would know how many times women post saying that they would KILL to date any guy David has coached (and I must say I would agree with this!!)
Yes, David does stress confidence to the men he coaches,and what is wrong with that? He also stresses that men LISTEN to women, really connect with women and never treat women disrespectfully. Teaching men to be confident and secure in who they are (just as women should be) is not mutually exclusive with these other qualities.
Susan, go back and read through the blogs … I think you’ll change your tune
JustMe – I was open-jawed after reading your comment. It is clear now why you don’t use your real name … I’d be embarrassed to identify myself too if I was making such idiotic (and totally INACCURATE) comments!
It is not hard to tell that you are new to this blog if you could come to the conclusion that what David teaches and what Mystery teaches have ANY similarity … I can’t even say how many times over and over again that David talks about why men should NOT do what Mystery teaches, so I did a little search in the blog and here are just the first few blogs I found which directly talk about this:
http://blog.davidwygant.com/stop-the-games/
http://blog.davidwygant.com/what-is-a-neg/
http://blog.davidwygant.com/what-is-mystery/
http://blog.davidwygant.com/peacocking-is-for-birds/
http://blog.davidwygant.com/theres-no-such-thing-as-picking-up-women/
http://blog.davidwygant.com/are-you-a-wpua/
I’m sure there are dozens more, but you get the idea (or maybe you don’t from reading your comment!)
Susan and JustMe — YOU two ladies are exactly the kind of women I was stuck dating BEFORE I coached with David and became confident enough to realize that there is a whole world full of fantastic women out there for me to meet … and that by opening up your energy and becoming less bitter, you will attract great people into your life!
David, thanks by the way again for totally changing my life … These last two months have been more enjoyable than the last two years! You’re awesome man!!
Susan & JustMe,
I actually started cracking up when I read your comments, because I was trying to picture David dressed up on goggles, a costume and black nail polish …
I felt like I had left the “huh?! Twilight Zone” after I read your comments … have you ever read any of David’s blogs?? I have no idea where you both are getting these ideas!
You both truthfully sound very defensive … and bitter.
The 5 million dating books and websites out there make it clear that there are very definite differences between the sexes … but the fact that we’re different doesn’t mean men and women need to be against each other. You two seem to feel this way though.
David, you are awesome and don’t let these couple of bitter gals get to you!!!
Damn, David! — I KNEW we should have gone to the costume shop instead of the clothing store during my bootcamp (if only I had known you were like Mystery!) …
Thanks again David for an amazing weekend!!
David … Where’s that blog you posted a ways back about how to not be an angry dater? I think these gals could stand to read it …
Susan -
Everything that David teaches men is about NOT playing games, working routines or trying to “pick up” women. David teaches men how to be able to attract women by being their most confident self, being friendly, listening to women and trying to truly connect with women. I can’t imagine, and I have yet to meet, a woman who find me less likeable as the confident guy I am now than as the guy who used to try to pick up women using cheesy routines.
I am a former member of the PUA community that Mystery basically started, and the whole reason I decided to leave that community was after I read some of David’s blogs and saw that I could be really successful with women without having to use a nickname and a card trick to do it. The blogs that convinced me of this were:
http://blog.davidwygant.com/theres-no-such-thing-as-picking-up-women/
http://blog.davidwygant.com/stop-the-games/
http://blog.davidwygant.com/what-is-a-neg/
Also, to whichever of the women implied that David doesn’t understand women … you obviously haven’t seen how many women come onto him every day on this blog!!! I don’t think he has too much trouble there …
Sam,
You are not a nutter. I would be impressed if someone wanted to engage me in an intelligent conversation about architecture. Just don’t come on TOO strong and and let her know that you are interested in what she has to say.
Im a 26 year old black guy… from Detroit, Mi! This will not work… I havnt tried it, but im willing to bet my life on it. Here in the city of Detroit, most women only care about how you look and what you have! Yes its bs, but what can I do? I was hoping to read this post and find some helpful tips, but this doesnt help one bit. Im looking for a wife to mother my childing and live happily after… but my biggest problem is meeting women with content! Its just hard. Mainly I feel if i had the chance to just talk with a woman she would love me. But I dont have good pick up lines over the net or in real life. I just feel doomed. Maybe you should write something in regards to how women really wanna be approached! But hey i did get here by reading a post you had about good guys finishing last lol that was true… Thanks I look forward to futher tips on appraching women!!
Hey James – I am also from the Detroit area, and your post made me sad! There are great people to meet no matter where you live … and that includes Detroit!! You just need to get the belief out of your head that ALL women in Detroit are the same way. There are women who are just all about looks everywhere and in every state – just like there are great potential wives & mothers everywhere and in every state.
Go back and start to read some of David’s old blogs – you don’t need pickup lines!! Good luck James, my fellow Detroiter
Just Me
You are new.
You need to really dig deeper.
I am the polar opposite of Mystery and not one person who really knows my teachings would ever make a statement like you did.
So being new dig deeper into who I am so you can see what I am all about.
Mystery is all about pickup….I am teaching attraction and how to really relate better with others…and i am all about self confidence….plus so much more…….its time for you to dig deeper!!
Susan
wow….where did all your anger come from?
and all of your assumptions.
i really enjoy when people attack me without doing any research at all. i read your comments and it shows that you know nothing about what i teach.
and if i was a betting man you don’t have the guts to show up here again.
now the real issue i see with you is someone who may have issues in her own dating life…….what is the real issue here susan?
JustMe, Patrick and Laurie,
Thanks for the comments. I wasn’t criticising David or his techniques, I subscribe to his teachings wholeheartedly. Confidence and inner belief are the way forward. I was just a bit sceptical about this particluar situation and the likelihood of it actually being successful. I think as Patrick stated that it would be more of a chance if you were in a group situation (like a bootcamp) as opposed to just one individual out on the street. I guess if you had enough enthusiasm and the right girl came along it could be a good opener, but i think on average it would be a difficult one to accomplish.
Hehe, I need to change my name now and hide!
Sorry, guys
I did NOT mean to come off as a bitter person, which I am NOT at all 
and sorry, David, for offending you by comparing you to Mystery! Here’s the thing, I found both your sites at the same time, well, first yours, then a friend of mine showed me Mystery! She absolutely loves him. And I started comparing you guys, just for fun:) Again, very sorry!
About Susan’s comment, I just found her critizism a bit amuzing, that’s all..
I’m just 20, and not as experienced as the rest of you obviously are (there are 50 year olds posting here?)
However, I will def dig deeper!
If you guys have read some of my other posts, I am NOT bitter and I actually mostly agree with David.. but that’s probably because I am so young, and have a totally different culture than you…I’m all for learning;)
Peace-
Sam,
People are way more open minded than you think… if you allow them to be.
If you are truly enthusiastic in the things you do, if you are genuinely curious about the things in your life (just like a 5 yr old kid is), people are ALWAYS open to interact and get engaged with you.
Susan,
It’s easy to read David’s advice out of context. I don’t know how much of his teachings you know but try to look for his intent instead of making a judgment on one or two articles.
What you criticize David for is usually what he teaches women. He doesn’t lump all women in one category but you must admit that there are some trends that can be generalized just b/c you are women.
Specific advice are not given in blogs, they are given in coaching based on your particular situation and the specific person you are dating.
As far as getting dating advice from women, I couldn’t agree more. You should ask your female friends for some feedback. You should always check with the source itself for accuracy.
However, there’s one caveat to that. When you ask ONE woman for dating advice, she \will tell you what SHE personally wants. Getting advice from a man who’s dated all sorts of women gives you a more “big picture” take on the whole topic.
The second caveat to that is that… women typically don’t know what it means to truly be a man. They don’t know how to describe the basic masculine core that makes a man fundamentally attractive. This is why it’s good to sometimes get a “guy mentor” for certain things. Women have their “women mentor” a lot b/c they have a heavy female support group. Just look at how women share their inner most moments with their friends (aka Sex and the City anyone?).
Guys don’t do that… so finding a more mature man can provide that invaluable perspective to make the man more adept at whatever he’s trying to become.
JustMe,
Mystery is a fascinating guy. I can see why your friend would love him. He’s definitely is a character.
From a marketing perspective, some of Mystery’s material sounds like David’s… however, dig deeper as David says. Mystery and David are actually quite different in what they teach.
Some surface material is similar… but Mystery is more about getting ANY girl whereas David is more about being attractive and finding the “RIGHT” girl for you (or right man for that matter).
THANK you for understanding my not so good comparison up there..
To me the surface material seems very similar. But I get the point now:)
seriously though guys, some girls will actually stop and talk. I’ve done it before. It doesnt have to be architecture, it could be at Hastings browsing movies and you see a girl looking at movies near you, you can say “that is such a good movie” if you’ve seen it. or “that looks like a good movie” soemthing like that. some girl’s will say things like, “yeah i saw that! it was great!” or that’s not a very good movie” even “i wanted to see that too.” if she responds in any way like that…you’re in luck. you can ask why it wasn’t too good, or why is was good. it doesn’t have to be at hastings though..i mean, do go to a hastings store to pick up women..that’s a little lame. Just talk and give you’re honest opinions, don’t lie.
Dear All men…
At least just’s Me will stop when the man talk like that when he’s in church.
or look at the beatiful things, and talking with the meanthings tru his thought out, Don’t be shy when you’re going to be the one of man that’ve Special…. The ladies, don’t like the things is normal, its have too much Normal guys, in this world, so… please will be a Special one for us.
Do somethings that’s you thinks it special,or just’s only do the things which follow your heart, even how its looks silly you are. but just only let her keep in mind that’s will be great enough.
Dear All men…
At least just’s Me will stop when the man talked like that when he’s in the church. or look at the beatiful things, and talking with the meanthings tru his thought out, Don’t be shy when you’re going to be the one of man that’s Special…. The ladies, don’t like the things is normal, its have too much Normal guys, in this world, so… please will be a Special one for us.
Do somethings that’s you thinks it special,or just’s only do the things which follow your heart, even how its looks silly you are. but just only let her keep in mind that’s will be great enough
I’m enjoying this Website. Thanks, David. I would like to ask the guys how you would take it if it was the girls who start a conversation with you on the streets. I know the look of interest but guys almost never start a conversation with me on the streets. I don’t quite understand why people would let chances slip them by or at least give themselves the opportunity to discover whether the chances are worthwhile. Maybe it’s like what Reynold and Patrick said, that guys don’t want to screw things up. So if the girls were to start talking to you on the streets, how would you take it? I’m tempted to try it out myself.