How Good Are You At Selling Excuses?
February 26, 2010 
24 Comments
Let me share a story with all of you a story that I think may be a great weekend reminder. I remember when I was about 16 years old and some friends of mine invited me to a big kegger.
For anyone who doesn’t know what a “kegger” is, let me give you the quick description. A kegger is when a bunch of high school kids sit around drinking beer out of a keg, get drunk and act like idiots.
I remember that all the hot girls were going to be at that party, and how badly I wanted to go. Despite this, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t get myself to go. I had so much fear and anxiety about it, and I couldn’t figure out why.
When my buddy John called me around 7:00 pm to let me know he would be picking me up in an hour to go to that party, I told him I couldn’t go. I didn’t tell him that I had too much fear and anxiety to go. I told him the excuse that I had spent the entire day thinking about and creating, that my Mom wasn’t feeling well so I had to stay home to take care of my sister and brother.
I told him how much it sucked that I couldn’t go. I really sold it, and John believed me. I remember getting off the phone and thinking what a great job I did selling that excuse.
How many times have you sold excuses? You get invited to something, but you create an excuse not to go because of your lack of self-confidence, your lack of social confidence and your mindset.
How many times have you spent the entire day working up the perfect excuse to blow off a social event to which you were invited? What is funny is that when you do this, you will always check in the next day with your friends to see what you missed.
Then, because the mind is very funny in the way it works and tricks itself, you think “Oh man, I could’ve gone to that party. I should have gone. Next time I’m going to do it.”
The truth is that the next time you are going to come up with another excuse. The same thing will happen the time after that.
We make excuses in life because it’s too hard to face our fears. As human beings, we love to make excuses. Facing our fears means we have to leave our comfort zone.
When you get out of your comfort zone, it by definition means that you are going to be uncomfortable. As human beings, we always want to be comfortable.
That is why television is so popular. Watching television allows you to escape into a different world.
The Internet is another great escape. If you ever read comments people post on Internet sites, people are as ballsy as can be because they can be their own “alter ego” and say what they would never have the guts to say in real life.
In order to overcome your fears and excuses, you must go out and do something that takes you out of your comfort zone. There is no way around it.
For some of you, that might mean approaching ten women a day. For others of you, that might mean going out on a date with someone you’ve always wanted to ask out on a date but never have.
if you don’t do something every single day that gets you out of your comfort zone, you’re just going to remain comfortably numb (as Pink Floyd so aptly put it) for the remainder of your life. Let me tell you, time goes by really fast.
That was 31 years ago I made that excuse to my friend John to avoid going to that high school party. While I have obviously gotten over those fears, there are times in my life that I will still bail out of things with some other stupid excuse.
Great blog, so true. Now if I get an invite I just go unless I genuinely can’t make it for a serious reason. I see how this kinda ties in with the blog about “flaking” on people a few days ago.
If people approve it’d like to suggest some learning material…watch “Yes Man” starring Jim Carrey. The first 1/3 of the film goes hand in hand with this blog.
I dont’ even know what to say to this….
I think a lot of guys actually sell an excuse when they say they don’t like bars and clubs.
I believe them if they actually have gone to bars and clubs before… but some people just have never stepped in them and say they hate it.
Bars and clubs can be fun when you are with friends… and when you are there to have fun… instead of hunting for the opposite sex
I couldn’t have said it any better, we must have fun first!
I think the Fridays’ blog beats Wednesdays podcast. I would say this is by far my favorite topic!!!!!!
I don’t like bars and clubs and I’ve never been to a club before and I hate them…:) I just don’t find them appealing,I don’t drink and dance.
Kevin: Does that mean you now switch to day time venues?
Why do we do the things we really don’t want to do? Why is there so much pain or excuses. I find that the path to enlightenment is not a easy one but we must follow on if we were to make any progress.
I felt that was me that you were mentioning. I have some of the worst excuses and its very hard to get out of it all.
The blog kind of speaks to most us on some level. This is something I’m trying to do everyday so I can really see huge progress. We can’t learn to jump unless we can first learn to walk.
Tony: I wish i was able to answer that question but i think it helps to think more about how we are going to solve our problems instead of why.
Coach Khiem/Ken: How can one really have fun in such a loud and drunk atmosphere?
J
“Yes man,” is a good one and totally goes hand in hand.
And I find Zooey Deschanel to be really cute:)
Clint
Do you really think that Friday is better?
Anonymous
What’re some of your worst excuses?
Very motivating blog today I feel like now I can just let go of it all and face my fears and do it anyway. I know its not going to be easy at first but I must do it.
I just want that high on life feeling back. I had that feeling a month ago and now i have lost it.
great blog once again.
I am guilty of this. Selling excuses! I’ve done it a lot of times in the past. A LOT. But today, as much as possible, whenever someone invites me to a social event, I take it.
But once in a while, I do sell an excuse when I don’t like a particular event.
Still, even if you didn’t like an event, you go anyway to experience it and if you don’t like it then, then hey at least you know. Or it would have ended differently. You could liked it.
Thanks David. Selling excuses. That’s a nice term to use. You’re right. Just go and do it. I’ll stop doing selling excuses.. but not so big! take it step by step of course.
Max I do daytime and nighttime approaches,weather it’s the mall or video store in the evening or during the day at Starbucks or Best Buy.
Kevin: Those sounds like some great places for daygame I will be going out more after this weekend.
I agree there is no way around it but to stretch our comport zone each and everyday!!!!!!1
Kevin, you mentioned on one of your Biggest Enemy blog post comments that you were amazed that a girl who had no interest in you last semester is suddenly taken with you. What do you think changd?
Oh wow. Great blog david.
Do I sell excuses?? Heck yes. If I could instead do something productive with how good I sell them. I could probably the greatest businessman ever. I sell them so good that somewhere along the way I forget they are excuses. I believe they are real.
I’m still incapable of going to the mall by myself. I still can’t talk to at least 1 different person each day. I still can’t get a date. What is it that makes me do this? My power to sell excuses to myself.
I’m really tired of this. I just want to be able to let myself go. Yesterday I realized that so far my life is not going the way I want it. It made me realize that I have to just live life how I want. If I put the right mindset anything is capable.
I should sell myself a great mindset. But I can’t. I can never buy it. I can never believe it.
I should because I’m tired of all these bullshit excuses I tell to myself so I could feel good about failing.
Without More,
Mario
Babe Ruth,
Like anything else, you have to learn to enjoy different type of environments.
A bar is about getting loose with a few drinks. I’m not necessarily encouraging drinking to oblivion but having a few drinks can be fun!
Also… you make the noise an issue… but do you like the type of music they play? Some bars have nice music… or they have live bands. You can enjoy a live band, right?
If the noise is that much of an issue to you, how about you learn to speak in one another’s ears! You have to learn to adapt to the environment you are in.
In a bar, I don’t scream at the people I talk to, I just make them talk into my ears.
In addition, what kind of conversation are you having at the bar? The bar is not the place to have any form of deep conversation, it’s about shooting the shit and just doing stupid things.
If you focus on that, the bar CAN be fun!
J.
You might be right about “Yes man”, but what the movie actually is trying to tell is that you have to be more open for new things and that you shouldn’t make up excuses for everything. It would be stupid if you say yes to things what you actually don’t want to do, like using drugs.