How Bad Do You Want It?
October 13, 2009 
11 Comments
Can we please have the last ten seconds of the Jets game played over please? On a positive note, it looks like Brayon Edwards can catch again.
It’s funny when you see a great player playing on a bad team who just quits. Randy Moss did it when he played for the Raiders, and now look at how Braylon Edwards looks since he’s come to the Jets. I guess it just goes to show that athletes are human, and don’t want to be chosen by bad teams.
Remmber when you were a kid and you were playing a game which involved picking teams, and you got chosen by the bad team? Remember how you felt (and sometimes how you acted afterwards)? Men never grow up I guess.
Now on to today’s blog . . .
Let’s talk about how bad you want it. I get so many emails from people who say, “But David, you’re a natural at this! I am not a natural and I need routines.”
What I always tell people who write things like this to me, is that I wasn’t always a natural at this stuff. Do you think I was born doing this? I was nervous as hell in the beginning!
The reason I can coach all of you, is that I’ve experienced every emotion that you guys are going through right now. I know what it feels like to have my heart beat right through my shirt. I know what it feels like to have a quivering lip as I approach some girl sitting at a table. I know what it’s like to have all that monkey chatter in your head.
Some of these feelings are just the natural emotions of life, but this idea of being a “natural” is something we’ve talked about many times before. Many professional atheletes are “naturals,” but that doesn’t mean that you can’t do what they do. You just have to workk harder at it in order for it to become natural to you.
If you put the time into anything in life — whether it’s into meeting women, singing, cooking or whatever — over time your skill will develop and it will become natural for you. The reason I seem like a natural at what I do is only because I’ve been doing it for so long.
With practice, all of you will get to the point where you are naturals. The real question is: How bad do you want it?
Now, granted, some of you will find parts of this that you are far better at than others. For example, if you take me into a bar I am pretty unnatural. I’m so uncomfortable! I don’t enjoy being in a bar and I’m not having fun when I’m in one, so I am always totally in my head when I go to one. I’m just bored.
Take me to a store or out on the streets, however, and I have a million things to talk about with everyone. I can walk in any store, anywhere, and I can talk to people because there are always things I find interesting.
The way to become a natural at something is to go out and do things that you’re interested in, so that you’re able to keep up good conversations. This will also build up your confidence.
I’ve met guys who are naturals in bars. Do you know why? They are big drinkers. They can talk about booze nonstop.
I’m a natural in the market, because I eat at Whole Foods twice a day! I know the menu like the back of my hand. I’m able to work that place and talk to people there, because I always have topics to talk about there.
I had a client one time that was a wine connoisseur. So he expanded his social network by going to wine tasting parties and stopping in wine shops on Saturday afternoons. There he met other wine people, and he developed a social network with these people and he started having wine tasting parties.
I told him to collect the cards of the people he met in the stores and then we set up our own little wine tasting parties. Of course, the men and women he met brought friends to these parties. That’s how he was successful meeting women. That was his hobby.
The best way to meet people is by doing things that you love. You’ll rarely meet people doing something that you don’t love.
If you want to become a natural, you absolutely can. You just have to ask yourself, “How bad do I want it??”
Thanks, David!
Good post brother. I like stores and streets too. Much better than bars, though bars in this town of Key West are sort of like the streets since they’re all pretty open.
Clubs though? I can game in them, but NOT so much when they’re busy and loud. I like conversations where I don’t have to shout and be bumped and jarred by people trying to get by. How seductive is that?
But if the bar is more loungy and slow it’s game on. Meanwhile, ya. I just met a cool girl last night in a grocery store in the Lettuce section. She just got out of the Gym, was wearing these beautiful form fitting sweats/tights and was fun and intelligent AND sober. We exchanged #s and she texted me the same night.
Should be nice. The banter was good.
PS – I love grocery stores… I know… But seriously I do.
I’m glad you were able to help your connoisseur friend. I’m sure he isn’t whining anymore!
It makes so much sense to meet people while you’re enjoying something that you love to do anyway!
@greg – put a cork in it! I bet his life is lookin Rose now!
@ Greg – Put a cork in it! … I bet his life is looking Rosé now
Boom!
Can I say it again?GREATx3!
. Is it normal or is it just in my head?
I myself don’t know if I can say I’m confortable in 5 places like David said in an exercise but I ask you this:Can you be unconfortable while going to school,at school and comming from it?Im 18 and in the 12′th grade and as I mentioned above, I don’t want to meet/be seen by anybody then.I feel so…unconfortable
I’m almost a pro…kidding , in places I’m confortable but mostly when I’m with someone, friends or whatever. When I’m alone dont know why I get the ideea that if I aproach someone they will look at me as a stalker.BAD MENTALITY IN ROMANIA… too bad..
Thanks again David , it at first you don’t succeed, try try again
Btw do I have internet problems?This is just a test you can delete it.
Anyone got an opinion about what I’ve said?
Yeah i dont like going to bars neither, all the people only talk alcohol….binge drinking, getting “fucked up” “wasted” is boring to me
theres so much more in life to value than drinking all the damn time
david, i like the way you have wrote above… ” workk harder at it in order for it to become natural to you”
just to add something here…be Consistent Always what ever you do…
one thing i have learnt after 3 years of going to bars regularly, confidence is always a BIG issue when making new friends, meeting a potential partner (hell, while writing this, hungover like a beast to be honest with ya, and at quater to 5 in the morning doing a night shift), but everyone can sense it… one thing i was tolled was that moving forward in life needs confidence amd self esteem, without either of these qualities you may as well be in bed asleep all day