Home Bed Advantage
September 27, 2007 
39 Comments
Home Bed Advantage By David Wygant
Let me ask you a question. When you have sex with someone, does there need to be home field advantage?
Can you be the away team or do you need to be the home team? Do you absolutely need to wrestle in the sheets on your own turf?
There have been times in my life when I preferred to be the visiting team, so that when it was over I could hop on the bus and leave. Nothing is worse after having sex with someone than having to spend the night with them when you don’t want to. So in those situations, being the visiting team is great!
You leave and you can go out for a drink after the game on your way home. That is one benefit of being the visiting team. Another benefit is that you can soil someone else’s sheets, so that when your maid comes she won’t have a heart attack.
There are some problems though with being the visiting team. There have been times when I have been the visiting team when the woman didn’t mind having sex with her cat on the bed. It kind of freaked me out a little bit.
There I was slowly working my way down her body . . . only to be brushed up against by a purring pussy cat. I said “Can we do something about this cat?” She said “Ignore him.” It’s hard to get excited though when puss in boots is staring directly at my groin.
Another time when I was the visiting team, the woman had one of those yippee dogs. Now, this next part I am not making up. When she started climaxing, rover started howling. I wasn’t quite sure what the connection was . . . and I didn’t really want to hang around and find out.
There are other problems with being the visiting team. They may not have anything good to eat in the fridge. They may get up at 6:00 in the morning when you are used to getting up at 9:00.
I generally prefer to be the home team. I have a dog. She doesn’t howl when someone orgasms and she does not get up on the bed for a three way unless invited. She does, however, need to be walked.
Not only that, but being the home team certainly has advantages. You can brush your teeth with your own toothbrush instead of using your finger. The musical choices will always be your own. There is something I just don’t find attractive about a woman who plays Guns ‘N Roses to get off.
Being the home team also gives you some other benefits. It’s your own bed, so you know the exact spot you can lay in to fall asleep. Also, if you can’t sleep with this stranger in your bed, there is always the Internet to cruise in the middle of the night or a good book to read. Have you ever had insomnia being the visiting team and you had to read Cosmopolitan and Glamour all night?
Another benefit about being the home team is that you can actually create the mood. If you are not into incense burning or sage leaves being waved all around the house, you can do what I do and just light some nice candles and play some music.
Being the home team gives you the advantage of creating any mood you want. Plus, all your supplies are nearby.
The only problem about being the home team is if you do not want the other person to stay after the main event, and you look like an asshole kicking them out. So, as they say in sports, you have to suck it up for the good of the team.
So what do you prefer? Do you prefer to be the home team, the visiting team, or are you like the Super Bowl and you prefer to play on neutral ground like a hotel?
Oh, and it’s different if you are in a relationship. Once you give a drawer to someone, and tell them that your field is their field and your stadium is their stadium, it’s a whole different thing.
So for the occasional fling or booty call, do you prefer to be the home team or the visiting team and why?
Nice blog. Personally it is whose place is closer or mainly how adventurous they’re feeling. Once I got my date so hot and heavy I knew she wanted it right then and there. I also knew there was a hotel coming up and slyly asked her if she was up for an adventure. She gave me a smile that I will never forget, I pulled up to the hotel and she was in shock. She kept saying that she couldn’t believe this, I checked us in and began a night which wound up to be a great relationship.
Please note that I’m not into one night stands, had my fill of them. I’m a “long-haul relationship” guy now.
Another time I got my date hot and heavy again, did the same sly delivery and stopped in to my friend’s business. It was late, I knew no one was there and I had the keys. Another incredible night and relationship. Hey, I helped him with the business, so he owed me. Some day I’ll tell him what happened.
Then there was a time I was dating a private catholic teacher, the closest place at that time was her classroom. Then the other times of cars and beaches, all of which were their ideas. I just always knew where to go. *sigh* Yes, well I’m struggling with single life now and it is no picnic.
Sam,
You stopped in your friend’s business? And if one of his clients would have walked in, what would you do? LOL
David,
I love your cat
Personally, I would go for the visiting team!
I’m going to have to go with David on this one …. While there may be a time and place for an away game, I always enjoy the game more when it’s at my home field. I’m also pretty sure I always play my best when I’ve got a home game
David – This is hillarious!!! I think your female friend had a very strange cat … I can tell you mine have always very politely given me privacy on the occasions when I have had company
And maybe that dog was just being supportive?! 
David
For me, most of the visiting team problems you talk about have been non-issues. To the best of my recollection, I’ve never just up and left after making love unless I had to be somewhere early the next morning. Well, one time, I got up and left after we’d been asleep for a while, but I’ve been lucky enough that I’ve wanted to wake up with the my partner the next, no matter where we are..
Thank God, I’ve never had the howling dog problem. If it happened to me, I don’t think I could continue because I’d be convulsed with laughter.
The toothbrush issue is kind of funny, but by the second time I’ve slept with a woman, we’ve made sure there’s more than one toothbrush in the house because we know there’s going to be a second, third, and more visits.
I feel you on the cat issue. One woman I was going with had three of them, which meant there was often an extra body in the bed, and cat claws on skin can put a damper on thing really fast. Fortunately, she wanted them off the bed as much as I did.
At home, I do my own laundry, so I haven’t had to worry about grossing out a maid. One home field issue can be getting the woman out of the house the next day. It hasn’t happened often, but occasionally, my partner’s feelings have been hurt when I’ve just wanted to be in the house by myself.
When I was single, I had my own home, so entertaining there was my preference. Nothing like being on home turf. I could cook, party, relax, set the mood and felt comfortable with whatever came up – literally. Music was never a problem; my collection is so vast there’s something for every taste and ambience. Those of you that have been privy to my history, know there wasn’t alot of comings and goings of guys anyway. Because it was my home, though, the control I had and exercised was exactly what I wanted; when I had enough visitation, I had no problem in saying so. “I need my space now, time for you to go.” It worked out nicely for all concerned. And was never a “problem”. I was considerate enough, though, to keep extra sealed toothbrushes and Manly scented soap and deodorant as well as a couple of disposable razors, and generic type condoms. That is an area I really don’t have a clue about – what do men really like regarding protection??
Somebody please instruct me!!
When/if I date now living in Sin City (and currently still with my Mom, cuz I still don’t have the stash/cash to get my own place – divorce is a costly undertaking – and I split with literally nothing and am not asking for anything so all my earnings go to my attorney and to my Mom – except for a little savings account I finally got going), I will prefer to drive myself to the meeting spot for whatever; safety for my Self has always been my priority, never want to be at the mercy of some yahoo, that way I can split freely and readily especially if I’m not interested in getting intimate (hell been so long I don’t even know if I remember how!!). If I happen to go to the other’s home turf, again, when I want to go, I’ll split, and I’m pretty intuitive – if I’m feeling those negative vibes – or sensing “i wish she’d leave” – I’m outta there. I doubt I’ll ever slept over no matter how good the vibes are even if asked to. I like sleeping in my own bed. And as David points out, everything one needs is there when on home turf.
Unless one brings a “bag” … and that raises eyebrows of the other party who may be only interested in x-amount of hours of socializing.
Someone recently suggested to me to always drive myself until I felt comfortable with the person I was dating to pick me up, and drop me back off when requested. Still, carry the basic necessities; enough money for a cab etc., toothbrush and condom/s. When driving myself, always keep a little bag in my trunk for the option of a sleepover or, a “date” that ends up being intimate but isn’t necessarily a sleepover.
Being prepared for whatever and everything is important, including being prepared for spontaneity – there are little convenience stores on every corner which provide key essentials!! Being proactive is a priority. And good old Communication is key.
10/10 at 9:30 a.m. is the scheduled date for my FREEDOM. So I am open to suggestions for how to proceed with my new availability. Thanks for being gentle … I’m feeling kinda vulnerable and needless to say, a bit shy …. believe it or not!!
ooops forgot about the furry four legged beasts …
always had cats and dogs which were respectfully decent to my gentlemen callers … the dogs of course had to jam their noses into crotches cuz hey, thats what dogs do to know who and what ya are and where ya been, then they’d get bored after introducing themselves and trot off to nicely like their own balls and dicks as if to say, “hey, bet you can’t do that!”
my cats, well, the males could have cared less except one who was very knowing about who was a threat to me and sprayed the guy’s pants leg which caused him to leave pronto. (suffice to say I woke up the next morning around 6, opened my bedroom drapes and HE was sitting crosslegged with empty beer cans around him on my patio staring at the sliding glass doors to my bedroom. i screamed with terror and my 20 year old son (who still lived with me) rapidly appeared in all his morning glory – stark naked and carrying my shotgun – with ice blue eyes told the s.o.b. to vamoose or the police would find his parts all over the backyard. I certainly got a stern talking to from my son after that.)
sorry, i digressed …
cats .. yes … the females tended to flick their tales with annoyance and ignored Mommies “guest”; though those bitches certainly came a runnin when a timid hand reached out offering scratching/rubbing and then when they’d been satisfied, they’d go off and not bother returning.
i currently do not have any pets …. i wonder about goldfish ….
Taleda-
Judging by your practical, common sense approach to the issues you mentioned in your post, I think you’ll handle your new freedom just fine. On 10/10 we’ll make sure to hoist a glass to toast the beginning of an exciting new chapter in your life.
Well, damn BobM … I’ve got tears!! Sweet tears, you know?
Thanks a million my cyberFriend, I know I’ll be feeling those good vibes and a day that will be a mixture of elation and bittersweet saddness will balance out and I’ll be OK.
LOL. David;
Always the humorous even in the awkward times.:) Love the cat story. I have 2 cats. They are “my boys,” but unwelcome if that should ever happen. When my “insignificant other” and I used to get right to the point of no return, my cat Teddy, who more resembles the size of a small bobcat, would pounce up and definitely make his presence known LOL. Very much disliked the man…smart cat!
Well, to elaborate here would be boring to the crowd, because my bed has only known one other body than mine, except for the occasional visit from my daughter coming in from out of town during her college days. That was where we lay and laugh, catching up and sharing until all hours of the morning. Miss that.
I sure the hell would not someone staying the night with me who didn’t want to be there.
I think when/if I get to my dating days, I would rather be the away team. The thought of the different ambiance that a man has taken the time to arrange is a very stimulating place in my fantasies. I am intuitive enough to sense people and what they are feeling, so if I felt unwanted….bye bye!
As far as the music goes–lol–”Guns and Roses,” definitely not. Just the name—
GUN=death and
Roses=I will bring some to your grave. definitely a mood “killer!” lol
David,
Hysterical blog!!!!!! As I read it I was picturing some of the the crazy “home team and visiting team” scenarios I had. LOL LOL LOL
Thanks Shannon
Just pointing out the obvious things that people are always afraid to think about in these moments.
David,
I get ya…. Without going into full detail of some of my crazy trysts, I will admit that I have endured the following: “kicked them out of bed”, “been not asked to sleepover”, “had to leave my own bed due to his horrifying motoring snore” and the best one “been punched in the face while sleeping in his bed because he thought I was the dog”.
LOL Life sure is funny.
Shannon
Nice guy who punches his dog….that is an early warning sign to never ever have kids with that man:)
BobM;
“At home, I do my own laundry,”
Very nice. I think a man doing laundry has a sex appeal to it.
I “scents” the pleasure of that downy soft touch, and the sweet smell on his neck as I waft a wisp in a slow passing by, as the washer agitates. Ok! I am feeling a bit agitated just to think about it. LOL
Full moon folks, what can I say;)
Yes i’m weird folks, I thought that we all had established that fact already. LOL Laundry too can be sexy.
David,
Yup, he definitely had issues. Needless to say, I never visited that bed again
Shannon,
I’m with you on the snoring thing … jeez … what’s up with that? How are women supposed to sleep with a “buzzsaw demo dude”? We need sleep too!
After years of miserable nights and loss of significant sleep, I’d slip into the spare room once he finally went to sleep, to get some much needed zzzzz’s of my own, while he sawed on. We had discussions about it because I was torn; I enjoyed sleeping next to him, it felt so good touching that warm soft skin in the night-time, so comforting to wake up and watch him sleep (and snore!!), he was so beautiful. To be able to lean over and lightly kiss him with such tenderness it breaks my heart even now, and feel him stir and take me into his arms … Oh God …
Ok, nuff said about that.
But the snoring thing – I finally ended up just going to sleep in the other room whenever I got tired, as he’d stay up watching TV or I would cuz he’d head off to bed “tired” … you know I look back with new eyes and see the beginning of our split long long long before it happened. And one of the beginnings was not being able to sleep together due to snoring. He did try those funky nose spreader things … too funny. He hated them and I don’t blame him. Anyway ….
Full Moon … uh oh …
“Howl at the Moon, shoot out the lights …”
“Well it’s a marvelous night for a Moondance ..”
Washers and aggitating and downy scents and warm skin …
yep, now that’s a nental visual!!!
Joan-
You’re incorrigible, and I love it!
Shannon-
Nothing enhances that romantic feeling like being mistaken for the dog, right? Wow!
see, i was so heated up with blog enthusiasm … derrr .. MENTAL visual not nental visual …
whatever …. %} LMAO ….
I think I’m definitely more of a home-team advantage kinda gal. Even though I have been single for over 3 years, I haven’t had too many away games, most of them have been here. I prefer it for all the same reasons you guys mentioned about music, candles, ambiance, etc.
Hey Everyone — I just found an article featuring David in today’s NY Times!!! Check it out … I copied the link here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/09/27/fashion/27dating.html?em&ex=1191038400&en=4c66f65ef49080fd&ei=5087
Awesome to see you in the Times David!!! Congrats!!
Thanks Gracie … I saw the article today. What a fantastic tribute to David that he was featured … and did you notice that he was the only dating coach the writer referred to as a “dating expert?”
I hope that the article will bring a lot of people to this awesome blog!!
Thank you, Gracie!
If I understood the article in NYTimes correctly, then Dating Coach is a Cheerleader, and since David Wygant is a Dating Coach, it means that Davig Wygant is also a Cheerleader.
To the new generation of Cheerleaders!
Great article David!!!
And hot picture on today’s blog by the way …
I read this article this morning on Dr. Bob’s throne. Good job Bucko! I looked up the other people in this article, and they don’t hold a candle to our esteemed friend DW (May I call you DW?)
If Taleda gets to bury you in a sandbox, do I get to always call you DW or Big D?
Anyway, thanks for the email back today and taking one of my blog ideas. This is Dr. Bob … out!
Kyle;
I have to agree with you on your comment in reference to the picture today.
When you are in that position of passionate embrace, the concerns of whether you are home or away become passe.
At this point, you both have home advantage, because your bodies have merged into one team, striving towards the same goal of pleasure. SCORE! lol
David W,
udaman!
Just read that article about you.
I have a strange situation. I’ve NEVER slept with my bf. Sure, we’ve had sex a lot. But never slept over at each other’s house. We live close to each other and he gets up at 5:30 am to get to work early while I don’t need to be to work till 8:30 or 9.
I suppose it all got off on the wrong foot in the beginning. We’ve been seeing each other for over 7 months now and get along pretty well. But we’ve always gotten up after sex, got dressed, sat around and talked or whatever. Then we’d go home.
He’s going through a divorce and has never been with any other woman including sleeping over night. He was married 25 years and his wife left him after falling in love with a friend of the family a year ago. So he’s pretty fragile and our relationship has been a big deal to him since it is a HUGE change from his life as he’s known it.
It hasn’t been easy being involved with him as every now and then, he’ll sort of pull back. So I’ve never insisted on the sleeping together thing figuring when he’s ready he’ll let me know. In fact, last weekend, he nervously asked me if I’d like to sleep over since his daughter was out of the house for the weekend. It was very late at the end of the evening when he suggested it and I wasn’t prepared with tooth brush nor contact lens solutions and case. So I declined, but let him know that I would like to sleep with him — but I’d need to be prepared with those items. (I also didn’t want to appear too anxious by agreeing to do it on such a moments notice. Maybe I was wrong and should have anyway…I don’t know).
By the way, we have a trip planned in another state in a month where we will stay at a hotel. I mentioned that I’d like to sleep with him before that trip. Little did I know that actually “sleeping together” would feel like the ultimate in intimacy!
– Susie
Gosh, Dr. Bob … what’s up? I’ve been good, haven’t I? Are you picking on me again? Everybody knows I don’t dare use my expression sandbox anymore.
“If Taleda gets to bury you in a sandbox, do I get to always call you DW or Big D?”
That’s ugly and threatening of you to say such a thing in connection with me and I don’t like it. I happen to like David and I believe he knows it, whether anybody else does or not I really don’t care.
I was gonna allow you to get to me – yet again – but decided to embrace advice from a Jaguar: walk softly and carry a big stick and always consider the source of ignorance.
Jessica – Oh, no one would’ve showed up at my friend’s business. The place was closed and locked up. So that’s why we went there. *sly grin* Why, are you feeling adventurous?
Sam,
I always feel adventurous, but I don’t act adventurous!
Well, I shouldn
I’ve only brought one guy home and actually I didn’t really bring him home. I had the horrible weed eater injury and couldn’t do anything with my right arm without a lot of pain. Shawn came up to take care of me and hang out. We took my boys to their dad’s for their Sunday evening ritual with dad. It was wonderful, but I haven’t felt close enough to anyone else to have them over or introduce them to my boys.
Since I fly once or twice a week, I always have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse. I’ve been grounded before for repairs to the plane and learned that lesson. So being the visiting team is fine with me. I have to say that the neutral territory deal is great because it often feels like a vacation romance.
Yo David…
First off – great party last night.
Okay away game story – my first three way.
We were on the edge of the bed – actually she was kneeling on the edge of the bed and I was standing behind her and were very very happy. She had a 14 year old daughter who had been acting weird with me – trying to sabotage our bliss in every way she could think of. Well, all of a sudden I sensed someone behind me and then felt something very wet and very warm on my testicular region.
Happy as this made me, the idea of what was happening whirled me around.
It was not her daughter but her standard poodle.
Needless to say, the poodle and I are now dating.
Dogs, man. It beats another girl I was with a few times, until the endless shedding of her big hairy retriever (I’m referring to her dog) just made me ill. Had hair in my mouth, my eyes, my intestinal tract. You name it.
I love surprises in sex as much as anyone, but I look for cat girls now.
Adam
Being the carefully private person that I am, but always ready for whatever may come up, I most definitely am a “visiting team” Woman. And I don’t spend the night, ever.
Adam, you look for cat girls? How does a Jaguar sit with you?
….I prefer to pay a visit, sometimes, I got booted after the main event, sometimes I can stay, ’till morning, although,,,,,,,, I have been on the home team…and, I have done the booting, right after getting shagged,,,and sometimes a complete sleepover…
Adam, I literally laughed out loud at the standard poodle as I am the proud owner of one named Bob. Bob does not play with visiting team players, I am proud to say.
So last weekend, I spent the night, the entire night, with the visiting team. This is the young guy that some of you may remember posting about a couple of weeks ago. I must say I had a great time, and although I’m not used to having sleep-over dates, lol, it was fun. I have not heard one word from him since he left last Saturday morning, but I guess that would be a post on another topic, huh.
Mel