Have I Got A Line For You!
August 11, 2010 
9 Comments
Do you know what I love about traveling? It’s when you drive into LAX and the four cops who are standing there as you enter wave at you.
There are about five entrances into LAX, but they only stand in one. It makes me think that their function is not so much security, but more to be “meet ‘n greeters.”
Yes, I know they are supposed to be ferreting out would-be terrorists. They stare at you as you pass by and assess based on that look whether you have a bomb in your car.
What is funny, though, is that any cab driver will tell you about the other four entrances at LAX at which there are no “meet ‘n greeters.” It’s like the cab drivers know about a secret back door to a club about which the cops don’t even know.
So here in Los Angeles we have the “meet ‘n greeters” at the airport. They are there to wave hello to you when you enter LAX.
You are probably wondering why I am ranting about “meet ‘n greeters,” and what they have to do with today’s blog. I actually am not ranting about them.
I think they’re funny. They are something that would be part of an episode of Seinfeld or Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Can you imagine telling people about that job if you worked as a “meet ‘n greeter?” Someone asks you what you do do for a living, and you would say, “I’m a “meet ‘n greeter” at LAX . . .”
Then when they ask you what your job entails, you would say “I take my hands and put them in the air, moving my fingers back and forth all day long. I wear sunglasses as I stare at your car so I can look intimidating.”
Somewhere along the line in meet ‘n greeter school, these folks were supposedly taught how to find a bomb. Oh really, Mr. Meet ‘N Greet? What exactly are your experience and qualifications? Were you a meet ‘n greeter at Wal*Mart first?
You would, however, get to tell people all about the interesting things you get to do as a meet ‘n greeter. You could tell people, “I get to check out people in really interesting states of mind. I get to see people stressed out and rushing to get to their planes. I get to search cars with a flashlight and a cool dental-type mirror that turns upside down so I can see underneath the car.”
Is that really going to ferret out all the bombs? Really, I’m sure there aren’t any terrorists who know how to hide a bomb. I’m sure they would hide the bomb in that four inches that little mirror can see under the car.
So if you are looking for a new job, have I got a line for you! Think about looking into being an LAX “meet ‘n greeter.”
Great idea David. Thanks to you now I know where to submit my next application:)
that is hysterical how are they suppose to find bombs like that? but as a job not a bad way to intimidate people.
When I’m asked what my job is next, I may tell her I’m a meet-n-greeter. I don’t know how long I can keep it up, but it should end pretty funny. “You know, I’m actually being flown to LAX next week to meet-n-greet a pretty big convention of Swedes coming to America for their first time. Normally Delta keeps me based in Atlanta, but they need the best of the best out there for this one…”
I live in Washington we don’t have this kind of things like you see it in LAX.
Collin now that’s a great way to say it LOL
You’re hired Collin, now how much would you like for a hour?
I’m thinking at least $6000 a month would be reasonable
The whole airline security since 911, is a joke. You go through all these rediculous, time consuming, “security scans” (take off your shoes, pull out your laptop, put little bottles of shampoo in a baggie, etc) because the “terrorists” blew up the twin towers ten years ago, before we were aware of this type of attack. Do they really think this could ever happen again, now that the flying public is aware of what will happen if a plane is hijacked? Every man on board will attack any terrorist, and bring down the plane, if necessary. If a terrorist really wants to blow up a plane, they will find a way. The terrorists have accomplished what they achieved, which is instilling fear to the American public, and inconvieniencing them as much as possible.
Good job Bob. You could be the next Michael Moore! ;P