Kohonies
By David Wygant
The other night I was heading to a restaurant in Sherman Oaks where I was meeting a date. Now this is a first date. I didn’t really know much about her, and I was on the phone with a client while I was waiting for my date to arrive.
So I get out of my car, hand my keys to the valet (making the usual wish that the car comes back in one piece), and walk into the restaurant. As I walk in I see a woman sitting there waiting for her friends, and we had a lot of chemistry.
As my client was still chatting my ear off on the phone, I look directly at this woman and in my mind I say to myself “I want to get to know you. Who are you?’” Then I looked at her just like that, because creating a powerful mindset is what turns a woman on.
In order to get a woman interested in you, you’ve got to look at her and claim her as yours. She doesn’t want a soft, wimpy guy who looks at her with fear. She also doesn’t want a guy who stalks her down thirty minutes after he first sees her.
A woman wants a guy who is going to look directly in her eyes, and in his eyes he is going to be communicating this: “You are mine. I want to get to know you. And I am going to walk right over, and you and I are going to talk.” So how do you convey this look if you’ve never done it before?
There are a couple of ways I teach men in my Mastery Series and in my bootcamps. In order to create a powerful mindset, you need to see it in action. When I am working with my clients, I teach them how to do this . . . and I give them the same homework I’m going to give you right now.
Watch “Oceans Eleven” and pay attention to the way George Clooney talks to a woman. Look at how he makes eye contact, and look at the way he looks directly into a woman’s eyes. Also, look at the way he smiles and look at his energy.
Another movie to rent is “Shampoo” with Warren Beatty. This is another phenomenal movie that will teach you how to look at a woman. For you James Bond fans, any Sean Connery movie will show you the same thing.
Even with a total understanding of how to look at a woman, you still need to get your keister over to her. Something I talk about in my Mastery Series to help with this is what I call ‘the power of her fantasy.’
Not only do you need to look at her and make her melt, you need to smile. Think Mr. Rourke on “Fantasy Island” when he used to tell Tattoo and all the other workers when the sea plane arrived “Schmiles everyone! Schmiles!!”
So how do you smile when you’re so nervous and all you want to do is run for the hills? No, I’m not talking about that bad show “The Hills” on MTV. This is what I tell guys to do.
Before you walk up to a woman, look at her and picture that she had a sexual fantasy about you the night before. That’s right. Think about how she masturbated thinking about kissing you, touching you and humping you. Think about whatever will let your mind wander.
This will have you looking at her and claiming her with a great and very seductive smile. She is going to wonder what the hell you are thinking. You’ll never tell her, of course, because you’ll get kicked in the keister.
This, along with many more things, is what I teach people. I go deeper into all of this in my programs. This, however, should get you started.
So what happened with that woman in the restaurant? I looked directly in her eyes, and I told my client that there was someone I needed to talk to and hung up the phone. The woman looked at me and said “Do I know you?” I said “Not yet.” Then we proceeded to talk.
I gave her my business card, then left to go on my date. The woman called me the very next day and left me a voicemail. It simply said this: “I want to get to know you.”
Do desire to create this type of chemistry with women every time?
2 ways click on this video and check out how.
Now do you want to learn this at home I go over this in detail step by step in my mens mastery series.
Man,
you are an animal!! Keep up GREAT job!
David,
Restuarant on a first date? Passed your card? WTF?
Jim, methinks that aliens have abducted David and are now controlling him with their orbital mind controlling lasers into being a Willie Loman restraurant-dweller. Oops. Wrong conspiracy.
Seriously, good blog today, David. I love your Mastery Series.
Jim-
Yeah, that was the first thing that caught my eye–David W.? First date? Restaurant? What’s up with that?
I could see the card thing if she took the initiative and asked for it first.
Hey, guys,
Stop being so critical. There is a very important message in this article: “You
Target was closed.
Oh snap!
Kidding! David is the Master. He’s just waiting to drop some knowledge on us about that date. Just wait.
Thanks Jessica for the feedback. I’d love to play Wiffle Ball with you at Target any day. You go GIRL!
Tootles…
Oh! David, I’m so sorry, I read the title and all I could think was…
Don’t think I can do that!
People leave the a off of Roberta all the time, but no way am I ever gonna be able to grow a set. Maybe I could rent them? Now I’m gonna have to go wash my mind with a bit of Clorox……
I dunno about this one David. The message is good, but the situation is what makes me wonder. If you met this woman while you were walking your dog or at a a bookstore or something, no problem. I guess it irks me a bit that you were meeting other women while you were about to have a date. I know you said it was a 1st date and I’m surely not one to talk about commitment at the moment, but I believe if I’m out with a guy then he’s with me and only me in that moment/night/whatever. Don’t let me see you checking out another girl’s butt or flirting with her at the bar before dinner. … just had to throw my 2 cents in on this one.
Jessica…. Dont be so protective of your beloved David!!!! Its easy to see you GALS all want David. You always circle the wagons when he’s fired on. I’m just giving him a bad time, thats what guys do. They call their buddies on SHIT! GIVE them the business when the chance appears. Its a guy thing! LOL!! I’m sure David will confirm, just ask him.
Shelby….. I agree with you. If i am on a date, or with a woman… Its all about her, no wondering eyes. I also try and keep my focus to her, and her only…
Shelby, Jim, BobM,
I agree here for sure. To be meeting a date and claiming another when this is a first date as well…..not cool.
Sorry daddio, but which brain was thinking at this moment in time??
I would feel like you thought you were Mr. Machismo and left your “Kohonies” to the blue ball fairy, and had she seen the little action instant relay, she probably…if she had brains…would have bowed out and left you to the one who captured your kahonies.
Bertie:
LOL I am not touchin that onwwith a 10 foot pole…hell a 20 foot pole!!! LMAO I don’t want a set of balls…well maybe some chinese benwaa balls LOL Watch that bleach girl—hey did you like the FBuddy I sent you??:)) LOL
You know yall…I just can’t agree with you here. His date isn’t there yet. What’s the big deal? Now if she were there and he’s chatting someone else up yeah, I’d totally be offended, because those aren’t the standards I set for myself. A date is not a commitment, and if you happen to meet someone who intrigues you before they get there or after they’ve left, I say Go for it! Ummm…I did the same thing the other night. Date left the restaurant. Ran into someone I’ve known since high school. We talked for a bit…..I decided I’d have had more fun going to the races with him than having dinner with the other one. Where’s the problem?
Joan,
I haven’t had the chance to go check out Mr F, but I’m on call today, so I’ll be sure to do that!
Discreetly meeting a woman while waiting around before your date arrives at a restaurant ==== not a big deal!!!
It’s a numbers game folks, and at that point you really owe the woman you have plans with nothing more than your full attention once she arrives, which I imagine she got.
What if the other one stood DW up????
Thanks Dave, I was beginning to think I was being rude in my behavior and I needed to rethink things….
You may never have that opportunity to meet that person again and if they really intrigue you, what are you going to?
I knew this one would create a fun chat back here.
Lets get the facts straight
1. My date was not there yet and I was early…a detail that I left out on purpose to see what all of you thought:)
2. I chatted with this woman for 34 seconds….knew i had chemistry and gave her my card.,.she got up and went to her table.
3. MY date came 10 minutes later on time and i had no chemistry with her right away.
So for all of you that would let a person who intrigues you walk away without contact…then you would have missed out on something that maybe amazing.
When on a date i would never look at another woman….i stay present and enjoy the woman that i am with even if i dont have any chemistry with her.
I would never be rude to get up from a date and meet another woman….in that case whoever posted that you are 100% correct.
As for the woman who called me….we went out once enjoyed her company and that was that.
As for growing some balls the point of this was not to teach people how to meet someone when waiting for a date…the point as all of you know was:
When you see someone that you are attracted to stop waiting and start talking!!!
Dave
\
Very true about what you said…what if i was stood up….though that has never happened to me…..
Living in LA has taught me to confirm everything due to the traffic that we have here..
Can I have my A for the day please? I got it….it took some Clorox first, but I did get it. lol
Jim
Feel free to give me shit anytime!!!!!
D … jeez … kinda tacky even for you. just wondering how was your actual date? the one you were meeting? were you even in the “moment” with her? i also wonder if she got the short end of your usually attentive confident stick? errr … schtick.
curious now though .. have ya reached out and ahhhh touched that woman who snatched up your card like a drooling Puma about to pounce?
actually i wrote more, cuz i am so stunned …. but have deleted it.
now ain’t that a first!!!
Re: Getting stood up…
Yeah, David I don’t imagine you would have that happen much at this point unless it was for some really unexpected thing (and then I’m sure she’d call). The thing that becomes more and more clear with experience is that one can recognize a connection and a person who has that initial interest, and only close and make plans with those people… and once you can keep that edge, the stand-ups and the no-callbacks will more and more disappear.
Hm, I don’t know. If I was that girl at the restaurant I’d think you were kind of sleazy for hitting on me when you’re there with someone else. What’s to keep you from doing the same thing if we went out together?
David…. Thanks, have a kick ass week!
Marie
You need to read this more carefully.
I did not hit on her in front of the date.,
I was early and my date was not there yet.
I posted response this morning.
w this one would create a fun chat back here.
Lets get the facts straight
1. My date was not there yet and I was early
Perhaps I am reading a different blog than many of you, or there is a lot of selective reading as to what this blog says (and what David did). The woman David was meeting in the restaurant was a first date, so it’s not like he was cheating on her as his girlfriend. Also, as David posted in the comments, there was no overlap between his conversation or time with the two women . . . so neither woman I’m sure had any idea about the other nor was deprived of any of his attention. I don’t see where there was anything untoward that happened here …
My goodness. You know, I am reading all of this and really…who cares?
People are going to do what they are going to do.
There is no society standard on how to go about different situations that come up in life. Yes, I would have felt bad, first date or not, if my “date” was warming another with the chemistry factor before we ever had our date and I walked into the middle of it.
That would feel quite demeaning and belittleing on a first date. BUT… all in all, I am glad she wasn’t there yet, and no one got hurt.
This is the important thing. Peoples feelings and thinking ahead.
Everyone has feelings….whether they admit to them or not is another story, but we all bleed when we are cut. Wounds heal but deep cuts leave memorable scars.We all need to remember that as fact, and care of the fact.
Kate….. As Napoleon Dynamite would was.. i’ll do whatever I want, GOSH!
Very cute Napoleon … uh,I mean Jim
Okay, eveybody-
We’ve settled all the trivial issues, like cheating and neglecting your date and stuff, but what about the really important issue? What the hell was he doing at a restaurant on a first date?
David, were you going to start a food fight for a fun activity? If that’s your plan, make sure it’s a place that serves mashed potatoes. And you want to make the ketchup easily accessible!
So c’mon, David. You owe your acolytes an explanation here. Maybe while we’re waiting for David’s explanation, we can come up with some rationale for this breach of the Wygant system.
Here is my rational: both people needed to eat dinner somewhere and they didn’t really care about each other from the beginning. I had such dates – I knew that I don’t care about the guy, that there are no chemistry, but… if I won’t go on a date, later I may think I missed an opportunity, so I go anyway, just to prove to myself that this guy is not for me…
Aw, Jessica, that rationale is too rational! I was looking for a more entertaining explanation.
Hello! You all, she called him remember? What if she had made these arrangements?
Bob
No dinner we met for a drink so the system was not breached!
Bob — It seems like you’re more interested in tripping David up then reading the main point of the blog … Having “bootcamped” with David, I can tell you he is totally authentic and absolutely practices what he preaches …
So what we should perhaps focus on is how many connections with people we’ve missed when we have not been present in the moment and have failed to “grow some testicles” and taken a chance …
I can say I’m certainly guilty of this on many, many, many occasions!
Elizabeth,
I am absolutely certain that friend Bob is not trying to trip David. He’s just curious. If he is, its just that friendly roughing up that men are inclined to do with one another as Jim pointed out earlier.
It seems like any blog that has these words in it creates some emotions.
The words being dick….balls…..
The reason being can it be that not enough people are enjoying the benefits of the dick?
Remember this blog
http://davidwygant.com/blog/dont-be-a-slave-to-your-dick/
or this one
http://davidwygant.com/blog/women-crave-dick/
So lets get all this dick and ball talk out in the open!!!
Damn, I try to have some fun, and everybody takes me seriously. Oh well. Maybe it’s just hard for people who don’t know to tell when I’m kidding in a venue like this
Oops! Typo. “who don’t know me” I meant.
No worries Bob … We’re all friends here
Hey bob
I get your humor……and enjoyed it!!!
Some people are more sensitive than others.
Its all good this was and still is a great post!
Yes, and I’m rather crabby about it. The last few dates I’ve had have all killed the deal by asking that stupid ass question. How many men have you slept with? Its not do you play safe? Its not have you ever had an STD? They want numbers! I’m 43 for flips sake, I haven’t figured out a way of screening for this so I don’t have to hear it any longer. Even men who seem to be pretty non judgmental otherwise will ask this infernal question!
Bertie
Fuck them and I dont mean it in a literal sense!!
any man that asks that question is a judge and a jury.
Run as far away from a guy that pulls that shit!!!
Ok do you now feel better:)
I do!
Kate: Since we are friends, does that mean you got my back and everything?
Kinda, thanks….I just need to shake the streak of bad luck. The last one asked two questions and then rolled that one out. I was so disappointed car racing started sounding good. “Look he’s making a left turn, and another!” Thank God, my toy never asks who I’ve been with….
That all depends Jim …
hmmmmmmmm
Kate: Come over and hang out!
Hey, dick and balls?? LOL This really is funny when I stop and think about it.
Remember the Oral lesson ladies….and gentleman???
These 2 elements are the pleasure parts of a man….well 2 of them anyway. I love the feeling of knowing I have stimulated a man to the point of exponential explosion through my wantoness to please.
This I tell you as honest truth….this ain’t no “cock n balls” story! LOL
I don’t know if any other woman will step up to the plate and admit it, but I will……I crave dick, balls, lips, arms, the touching of my body by a man with his hands, lips arms, legs, tongue……..the whole sexual samba!!!
I think I’ve done that already, but if it wasn’t clear. Yes I adore men. I love having sex with them. I love playing with them.
Dear Desperate Housewife and Bertie,
I agree with you one hundred percent. I tell the same thing: SEX is what keeps us going. Without it we all would be dead.
Jessica;
LOL Well i should be 1000 feet under if no sex kills. It has been a mighty long time, but I am picky as hell to the kind (not the looks) of man that will be lucky enough to experience me LOL I am humbly not kidding.
I cannot just say yes to everyone,——Anyone for that matter, but my day wil come when someone comes and look out. We will both be in for the ride of our lives.!
So, I still live evn through lack of a man pleasuring me. I get a hell of a lot of flirting done;)))
OK, so I totally get the point of not missing opportunities to meet new people. But really, do you think it’s necessary to take every opportunity? For me there are certain places and times that it’s off limits, and one of those time happens to be before a date.
David – You said that there was no chemistry with your date. Was there chemistry when you 1st met her, which is why you asked her out or accepted her invitation, or was it a blind date? If it was a blind date that’s one thing, but if there was originally chemistry do you think that you felt a stronger connection or were anticipating what might happen with your new friend? I’m wondering if subconsciously you sabotaged your date by having the brief interaction. Not being judgmental, just asking you to think critically about it.
Bertie – I can’t believe that people out of high school ask about numbers! How crazy is that?!?! My last bf wanted to know and we wound up having the talk about it, and it didn’t matter to either of us. I’m guessing the girl before me was pretty bad in bed, his reason for wanting to know was to see if I met a minimum partner requirement. Equally crazy, and stupid. I don’t even want to know if a guy I’m seeing is sleeping with other girls, what purpose would that information serve? If you’re talking about becoming exclusive that’s a little different, but until then my philosophy is do what you want and keep your mouth shut.
In various topics a bunch of us women have admitted how much we love sex and being with men … but just in case it was over looked, add me to the list too!
Shelby;
I had wondered the same thing about the date being off set because the other woman was more “intriguing” and twarted any chemistry that may have once been.
David, really only you can answer that question. When you were on your date, was your mind on hopes of the other woman connecting with you?
C’mon people… It is the same as what was first, the chicken or the eggs….
D. subconsciously sabotaged his date by having the brief interaction with somebody else or he subconsciously knew that the date is a waste of time, another opportunity came up and he used it…. The only reason I am writing it, because I had many dates when I KNEW that it is a waste of time, but I went on a date anyway… because I liked an idea of going out…
Not sure about that Jessica. I could be totally wrong, but David doesn’t strike me as the type of guy to go on a date just to go out. I know if I just wanted to go out I’d go out with my girlfriends or platonic friends, I’d rather have fun while I’m out with friends than to go on a boring date.
Hey Girls
I went out with this woman who emailed me and lived in la. She was very cool over the phone and was great looking.
But did not feel any chemistry right when we met,
we have all been there.
Shelby you are right I dont date for the sake of dating….
Joan
I did not sabotage the date with this new connection….i just did not have a spark with the person i met.
If you think for a second and read between the lines you will see why i wrote this.
If i liked my date….i would have never gone out with girl number 2 and the blog never would have been written
so you see….i was all about sharing this with you.
if date number one and i had chemistry you would be reading a different posting:)
i get ya david… at first i thought you were being a fucking sleaze bag. i had to reread to get it, so I’ve been there, people seems to forget in reality dating is a number game. it’s not until you find the right Chemistry, that the romance starts. like you posted on your Vlog, some men/woman are going to be attracted to person 3 and 6, and other are going to be attracted to 2, 5. all Chemistry. instead of going home being all upset that your first date wasnt all that great, you were positive and decided to keep at it, move forward. and david ” where’s head… notes” i’m eager to see it. ‘
cheers,
Joe
Joe
That is what i kept telling people.
reread the blog and my comments.
most people skim through things pick up what they recognize and skip the big aha moment.
head notes is coming this week
David;
Daddio, no I don’t think the you would sabotage a date. I think you are too kind to ever go there.
I just wondered if the other person was passing through your thoughts while you were on your date.
BTW—thank you for sharing with us;)
[...] Grow Some Balls!!! Submitted by PUA DeuceBigalow, 4 seconds ago (davidwygant.com) [...]
to DW,
That was a slick maneuver, I will keep it in mind…….
to bertie,
…how many previous partners? That is a personal question that you need not answer…
Hunter,
Too few you’re frigid, too many you’re a slut. There’s no good way to answer that one. I’m just sick of going to coffee and and being interrogated about partners. Why ask if you really don’t want to know what the answer is. Is it that compelling? Its just not something I’m interested in asking a man. Why do they ask me?
David,
What would happen if this lady ended up being the one you were going to meet originally?
Soriya
I knew what my date looked like so i knew it was not her…..
Good question though!!
to bertie,
I really don’t know why men ask that question. Maybe, ,,,they,,,, themselves,,,,, wonder if this world is really, as wild as we hear it is…..
I have had women, volunteer the answer, without my asking. And it is usually,,,, when,,,,,,,,,,, I am driving, at 65mph, on the freeway,,,,,wrestling a semi-tractor trailer on each side of my car,,,,,,,,, looking for the correct off ramp…….they blurt this out,,,, making me wonder,,,,,,,,,, how we got to this subject in the first place….
David, I recognize that your date had yet to arrive and so chatting with another woman wasn’t going to offend her or ruin the evening, etc. But there is something else that concerns me here:
It’s almost as though “finding women” — or “finding men,” as this situation could clearly be reversed — is this sort of constant, moment-to-moment search that’s being conducted. You’re ALREADY ON A DATE and yet you’re not finished trying gals on for size for the evening?
At any given point in the day, I want to have sex. Perhaps my libido is greater than what society deems women “naturally” have or something, but I want sex more than any man I’ve ever had sex with wanted it. But 9 moments out of those 10, I’m not LOOKING for a sex PARTNER. I have a million things to do, right? I have 150 university students to teach, I have papers to grade, I have this and I have that. Sure, I’m checking out hot boys’ butts all day because that’s just what I do, but I’m in no way CONSCIOUSLY seeking out anyone in the grocery store or on campus or at the bank or wherever. How are you supposed to effect change in this kind of mindset?
And I can’t believe you’d be calm enough on a first date to even notice anything other than your own clammy hands.
Damn, thats where I went wrong, I should have been a university instructor.
As for the I want more part…welcome to the club.
The thing with dating though is that you’re looking to connect on a little bit different level. The more you do the first date thing the less nerve wracking it gets. I’ve personally had really good luck in bookstores. Met the most attractive man behind the counter at a Barnes and Noble once. Had a lovely conversation with a nursing student in the coffee shop at Borders while I was waiting for my coffee date to show up, thank you, David.
You have to keep the first date relatively short and keep your options open in case you both decide to go somewhere else and extend the date. You need to remember that going out is about meeting new people not about interviewing for a prospective partner. You meet new people, you have fun, and perhaps something with longevity happens as well. Don’t sweat the first date.
Just a quick comment: you are totally right about Clooney in Ocean’s Eleven. First of all, their sense of style is unbelieveable (they dress like the Brits you discussed several blogs ago). But the charisma that he and Brad Pitt exude throughout the movie is SO attractive. I’ve never really been into Brad Pitt, but I would tear him apart in that movie.
Its also interesting to see how Matt Damon’s character had picked up a lot of that energy by Ocean’s 13. His evolution through the 3 movies is interesting to watch. Anyway, another great post!