Good Boy!
October 3, 2009 
10 Comments
I woke up this morning and realized that I am perfect. Okay, before you think think that I woke up with a very large ego, you are way off base.
I realized that I am perfect (6-0) picking football games this year, and I am so ready to put out this week’s picks and to keep that perfect record intact. Some of the NFL’s 3-0 teams will not be unbeaten after this week, but I will remain unbeaten with my picks for this week.
So for this week, I like the Houston Texans and the New York Giants to win. The Tennessee Titans will will their first one. The San Francisco 49ers will rebound. The Cincinnati Bengals will crush the self-proclaimed genius Mangenius, who could go down in history as the dumbest coach ever to coach in the NFL. My last pick is that Favre will get redemption this week.
Now onto today’s blog…
Good boy! Good boy! What a good boy!
You cleaned the house! Good boy! You look good tonight for my parents. Good boy! Wow, you picked up the kids today! Good boy!
If you guys are thinking that I am possibly a dog that drives or a dog that puts on a new collar for the parents, you are absolutely wrong!
I am talking about the way that men like to be praised. I am talking about the way men need to be praised.
It is so funny with men (and I’m making fun of my own gender, so I can). We are really very simple-minded at times.
What does every man want to hear from his woman after sex? He wants to hear, “Baby, that was the greatest thing I’ve ever felt. You are such an amazing lover!”
When he gets dressed, every man wants to hear that he looks good. He wants his ego stroked a little bit by hearing something like, “Wow, you look so hot today!”
Every man who does a task around the house wants to be patted on the back. He wants to hear what a great job he did. He wants to hear, “It was so great that you took the garbage out today. You are amazing!”
It is amazing how simple it is to please a man. It really is.
You won’t believe how long we stick around if we know that we are your best lover, or that we give you the best advice advice, or that we look good and you find us super-sexy. We are actually a lot like dogs.
Like dogs, we need to be fed. They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but I that a way to a man’s heart is really through his emotional stomach.
It’s funny. Women ask me all the time, “I just can’t seem to keep a man happy. Why?” Really? We have a manual that comes with us. It is only one page long. You just have to read it.
The women’s manual is more like one hundred pages long. You have emotions all the time. If you are PMSing, we can’t say certain things (or you take things differently). If we tease you during PMS, you freak out. If we say the wrong thing, you freak out.
When you tell us what you’re feeling during those times, we get defensive because we don’t understand things we don’t experience. As men, our manual is a whole lot shorter.
So, women, just think of us as giant, overgrown Scooby-Doos. Remember to tell us “Good Boy!” the next time a man does something (and the next time you want him to do something).
Be very specific when you’re talking to a man or when you want to talk to a man. You can’t just say, “Hey Babe, my parents are coming by tonight. Can you straighten the house up?”
You say that, and we’ll just find the obvious things. We will go to the sink, find the biggest bowl and put it in the dishwasher. If the toilet seat is up, we’ll put it down.
With men you need to be very specific in your instructions. Tell him, “Hey Babe, my parents are coming. Can you straighten up the kitchen, fluff the pillows and make the bed?”
Then, when you get home, don’t forget to praise us. Don’t forget to tell us, “You did a good job. Good boy!”
If you are all looking for some extra motivation today, check out what this master motivator has to say:
Hey David. Great, great, great video!!! Although todays blog is more for the women, it is true. Be specific with us, and tell us how good of a job we did. Thanx David.
That has always been a issue with me, as I pisses me off that I have to bend it in neon…it borders not bothering trying to figure out what I meaning. Now this is for the most men true, but then again can you guys imagine how much you will please your girl if you take the effort to try to figure out what she want. You actually end up feeling you are around a complete numb person and it’s very unattractive.
I am fine with compliments about how you look and sex which is quite natural and if someone has done something, but to expect praise if you have taken care of the kids or the house…please it’s insulting to us and brings up a lot of resentment towards you.
Never Never use the word babysitting if you are with your own kids…it’s a huge no no.
I am not one of those PMS girls that go freakish, but I have seen plenty of girls that do. come on get a grip girls stop this pathetic acting up, you know you get it every month not like it’s a surprise. Just take a deep breath nothing will make it go away…I more have fight with whoever thought getting it 12 times a year makes sense…a genetic malfunction I would say.
So guys don’t suck up for compliments if you have done things we normally would have done alright…just do them with no fuss we do it all the time and believe me we really appreciate someone who truly understand teamwork with everyday things.
So…how is this any different for women?
We like to be told we are beautiful, sexy, that we are great in bed and that whatever we did around the house is appreciated too. We just have a greater repertoire of ways that can be said. Something more than a grunt is a good thing too.
I agree with Marina. Women don’t get the privilege of copping out of relationship just because we didn’t get a “good girl” and a pat on the back..side. We take care of the kids, do the laundry, shop for groceries and pretty much hold it together without getting the benefit of coming home and kicking our feet up and unwinding for a few before starting dinner and taxiing kids. We also often don’t get a “good girl” and we need it just as much.
And then the world wonders why we go sideways when our birthdays, holidays and other special events are overlooked. It’s not because we are hormonal. It is because we’ve just spent every waking moment pulling off life for those around us including The Man and making sure they are happy and cared for but when it comes time to give back…there’s no one there giving back.
It’s the disappointing realization that he’s just not that into us that makes us go ape, not the hormones.
Try again. Needing positives strokes isn’t just a guy thing. And our manual isn’t all that long either. I can sum it up in a sentence, “What’s good for the gander, is good for the goose too.”
I agree with you ladies but I guess it’s an individual thing. Some men show appreciation, some dont, maybe they assume youre always getting compliments; we know you love compliments.
I for one can not read between the lines! I tell my girlfriend that all the time, and still she hints at things and expects me to get it. Ladies you will have much greater results with a man if you are direct and specific. For some reason i haven’t had much success the other way around though. If i note a specific problem i have, usually not much changes. Either i’m dating the wrong type of women or that is a common problem? Maybe i need to drop hints lol
I think the same can be said about us women – we also want to be praised from time to time!
Yeah…but Heather, women do get praised from time to time… especially from drunk guys at the bar! =P
Drunk guys at a bar don’t count.
I think this blog shows that we all just want to feel appreciated.
So ask yourselves, how are you showing appreciation for your partners every step of the way?
Khiem/Ken, with respect, it *doesn’t* just say that.
Like TheWildMind said, women don’t get the privilege of checking out if we don’t get the “good girl”. We get punished for it. By our men, and by the rest of society.
It’s why I’ve always hated housework. People only notice it if it doesn’t get done.
And women are the only ones punished when it’s *not* done.
Also, Charles, women are punished when we “just speak up”.
I’m sure you’ve heard this axiom — and probably just dismissed it — “When a man speaks up, he is called an aggressive go-getter. When a woman does it, she is called a b*tch.”
So in conclusion, Khiem/Ken, I would say that we all need to be encouraged to ask that question, but men need to be encouraged to ask it *much more* than women do. We’re already punished for it — in addition to all the other things I’ve mentioned above — when we don’t do it.