Thanks all of you for your responses!

My brother always taught me the eye contact, walk, posture and presence whenever I felt I needed to know more on how to improve myself.

Great one, It’s all about how you feel inside and it will translate in how you move and what kind of energy you give away. Being aware of yourself is very powerful.

Eye contact so true it’s about “power” and showing the other you are comfortable with yourself, note though with mentally unstable that might not be the best way to go…they will get ticked off.

thanks for sharing this Markus

I really liked what you said about walking. We just had the woman’s bootcamp this past weekend and I had to actually teach the client how to walk! A lot of things can be read through the subtext of body language… and the funny thing is… she wasn’t very comfortable with getting attention… which explained why she was walking the way she walks.

I think you are the next DW Coach?

Lets go a bit deeper into that. What is presence? And why is it so important? Well, if you have heard about the word CHI, you know that it is very much related to presence. The CHI is also called the life energy and it flows to and from persons depending where your attention or focus is. If you have a lot of CHI, you have a lot of energy and are radiating it. Some people call the CHI the Aura of a person. It is visible by the unconscious and especially sensitive people – like women usually are – can sense its presence or absence.

Now that may sound a bit esoteric to you but you can even try that out. Talk to someone for five minutes and focus ALL your attention on the other person. You will feel exhausted afterwards. Do the same but keep some of the attention to you – like your body, your feelings – and you will feel much better. This is the CHI flowing and you just proved you can sense it too!

Now what has the CHI to do with presence and being attractive? Well, to be attractive you need to have a good Aura, you need to be full of CHI. You can only achieve that by (1) having your attention focused on yourself and your body and (2) having a lot of other people focus their attention on you. And here comes the interesting part of it. CHI flows from other people to you as they focus on you. Some call this “Social Proof” but that goes way beyond Social Proof.

The first step, being present in your own body, has a lot to do with body language and the way you stand, walk and move your eyes. You want to sense every step you take and want to allow your feet to step on the ground firmly. Many people, as they walk nervously, unconsciously want to avoid having their feet cause too much trouble to the ground. The result is they walk in an awkward, insecure way and tend to “fall forward” instead of walking. Try this: Walk straight, with your eyes focusing just ahead on the road. Let your foot reach forward as you take the step, letting the heels touch the ground first. Then, pull your body forward and FULLY step on the ground with all your weight. Make slow but firm, secure movements. If you video-tape yourself before and after that exercise (do it for at least 30 minutes a day!) you will note a TREMENDOUS difference.

Next step is eye contact. If you establish eye contact with someone, never be the first one to look away. This would convey insecurity and social inferiority. You ALLOW yourself to decide where you look and are not afraid of it, so the other person shall be the one to look away first. Again, try this out EVERY DAY on a busy street or in clubs and you will feel much more powerful and secure yourself.

And there we come to the second part – and the reason why these exercises might feel so awkward for you in the beginning. When you show PRESENCE – by doing the things described beforehand – you will be more present, meaning that other people will notice you. And when they notice you, they look at you. They focus their attention on you. And that feels SO awkward for many people they try to avoid this in the first place. Because no one is used to attention. It’s a thing we’ve been raised with – don’t cause any attention, be quiet, never let anyone notice you. It’s burned deeply into our brains. But if you want to be successful, it’s the only way.

Now let me share with you a story as it happened to me lately. I tried these concepts on a busy County Fair here and did the walking bodylanguage exercise for 30 minutes prior to entering the venue. I felt so powerful it was amazing. As I entered one of the beer halls, I could feel my presence. I felt every step I took on the ground, I sensed my body, my bones, my muscles. And it felt damn good. When I enter the hall, I continued walking in a slow, secure way. And there it came. Even though it was a busy place with everyone drinking beer and loud music, and it was VERY crowded, everyone seemed to look at me. It felt awkward because I am not used to attention. But then I consciously became aware of it and tried to ENJOY the attention and soaked it up. I literally worked the room in a Bill Clinton way. This is what’s meant when people talk about how to enter a room with presence.

First, realize that you’re either going to get what you want from the interaction OR you’ll learn what it takes to improve and get it next time.

Second, make it your priority to have fun. If a girl doesn’t “get you” then you need to find a girl with a sense of humor more suited to you.

Finally, don’t give up so easy. Any situation can be turned around if you’re committed. So, even if it’s not going well at first just keep displaying your personality until she sees something she likes.

David Gideon

Just don’t turn up to their shit, and see how they like it.