Actually I believe this is a great blog, mainly for the discussions that it has brought up.

I was always the “nice guy” and throughout my younger days managed to become just friends, with the hottest women around. In my climb out of the friend’s zone I found it helpful to contact some old girlfriends and ask them why they put me there. I was surprised by their answers because they mirrored the limited belief I was clinging to at that current time. How I saw myself, was how the saw me. I know, not a profound statement but for me, it was a well needed slap in the face and it allowed to me change my thinking habits.
For example, being too short. After studying attraction for a few years and hearing them still mention my height as the reason, I realized being short had nothing to do with it at all. Most women don’t truly understand how they feel attraction. I assumed at the time they were afraid of being seen dating a shorter guy. And of course, if they were highly insecure, they would be. And I did not make them feel secure. Which is the real reason they were not attracted to me. My belief that my height was limiting me spilled over in to how I acted around them, insecure, and that is what they felt.

Now as for this step by step guide to being cool. Over the last few months I came up with a connection, or a step by step process of what makes someone cool. Let me know what you think guys.

Confidence->Self Esteem->Indifference->Fearless->Being cool

I am confident enough to know I am good enough for any woman.

My self esteem is high enough to not fall or fail her tests.

My indifference to the world around me or how others see me is obvious in the way I handle myself.

My fearless attitude is clear in areas in which the fear is not real.

Substitute the words women or her, with people, and you have the definition of a cool guy.

But since I realizez that I can do more, when I actually do it I think I freak-out sometimes if they actually respond to me.I was used to them not talking and maybe that’s the problem.When I finish a conversation only afterward I think…wow wtf I atually talked to her and she was flirting.You get what I mean?

And sometimes I’m so overconfident or I talk to much just because I’m to excited and forget most of David’s advice.Any suggestion to what?

Khiem long time no see…I should do that ‘what would coach Khiem do?” too ) .

Hope to hearing from you guys.Don’t forget I’m still young and I’m seriosly trying here .

You want to be the cool, fun guy that women want but just happen to be friends. It leaves you open to other options down the road… but you still have to act as “the potential b/f” from the beginning.

And that means… when you meet a girl, be nice to her… but don’t hide your intent. If you like her, she should be able to tell in how you interact with her, in how you flirt with her… etc.

The nice guy in the friend’s zone never really showed the girl he’s friends with that he thinks of her in more than friends way… and that’s where the problem really lies.

Stop hiding your intentions… be more true to yourself… and things will fall into place.

For John, you get out of the friend zone by either:
1. doing something drastic to change her original perception of you as just the friend (that could include… not hanging out with her until 6 months down the line so that when you come back, she can see you in a new light… or it could mean that changing the nature of your relationship by how you interact with her right now. Do you flirt with her? Do you look at her sensually… etc?
2. letting her see slowly that you like her for her sexual side too. It’s about learning to turn her on.

In either case, you have to be willing to lose her as a friend if you want to succeed at this. If you aren’t honest with yourself enough to go after the type of relationship you want with her… then you aren’t ready for it.

It always cracks me up

that could be a more realistic goal perhaps with potentially less effort.

It would represent a happy medium between being her friend and being her boyfriend.
I am sure that whoever figures this out will become the world’s first trillionaire. Lol

… Because it seems like their is a step missing between being the friend and being the boyfriend and that is the
sex. So being cool in a sexual kind of way could be the emphasis.

Could this work? I sure as heck hope so! But I am not Wygant. I am just a Fan.

WWDWD?

My advice for John, and I would like to hear David’s opinion on this. If you’re are finding yourself constantly in the friend’s zone it is most likely that you are acting like a friend when you meet her. At the first sign you begin to feel the relationship is lob sided, step back, meet someone else, and do something different with this girl. Follow David’s advice and just be that cool guy. Take notice to how the dynamics are different. Not only will you begin to see what you did that put you in the friend’s zone, you won’t be putting pressure on the first girl. And stepping back from her a little will be good for both of you.
If friends are all she will ever be with you and you can get over your feelings, ask her what put you in there. I have asked several old “girl” friends of mine and I was surprised by their answer. One even said it was my fidgety legs.

My recommendations are as follows:

1) try relaxing. Your able to do all this, you should be able to relax in the knowledge that you got to this point.
2) If you feel yourself start to stress at points in the convo, walk away. David (and other gurus) talk all the time about the power of the walk away. And if your getting to that point, and then start feeling nervous, you can get out before they start feeling your nervousness, and still leave a good feeling with them.
3) If those dont help, start looking inside at why your having these types of problems. Maybe you need to see whats going on with you at those times, and what brings up these feelings of nervousness.

About all I got for ya.