Flirt On A Train-Plus Free Podcast Debate!!
June 5, 2008 
15 Comments
Flirt On A Train by David Wygant
I have been all over Europe and it has some amazing underground train systems. This is unlike America, where we just sit in our cars all day long and curse at people in traffic – except of course for New York City, Boston, Chicago, San Francisco, and some other cities – I think Philly might have a train.
But most of the US doesn’t have an underground system. When I was in Europe I was sitting with my client Pete, and Pete wanted to know: how do you meet people on the train?
Well, I said, it’s really easy. You have to put yourself in everybody else’s shoes and their emotions.
Think about when you get a seat in the afternoon on the underground or the train – how good it feels to sit down. You’ve been walking around all day long, you have a 25-minute train ride ahead of you, and you found a seat! You scored – you don’t have to stand up. Your feet are killing you from walking around all day.
Yes they actually walk in Europe something that does not exist where i live in Los Angeles.
So what do you do? You play the percentages. You sit down next to her, you give her a big smile as you sit down, and you say, “oh, that feels so good.” You do it with a big smile.
She thought the same thing when she scored that seat on the underground. All of a sudden, you look at her, and say, “how was your day?” and then let her talk. Find out what her day was like.
It’s really that simple. One of my clients in London did this, and he talked to her for 20 minutes on the underground. He found out about where she was from – Australia – why she was visiting… It’s just really that easy.
In the morning, what do you do?
In the morning, people have their defenses up – they’re tired, they’re not in the mood to go to work, whatever it might be. So in the morning, if you’ve seen somebody over and over again on the train, just look at them and smile and say, “good morning, how are you? I see you here all the time. We must work in the same area.”
That’s it. Non-threatening. It’s always about being non-threatening. That’s how you talk to a woman on the train.
Todays audio is a lively debate about the difference between men and women.
After seeing a long winded Sex And The City Movie we had a nice little debate about the strange but funny things women do.
If you think Sarah Jessica Parker and the gang from Sex and the City had quirks…wait till you hear what i heard.
Enthusiasm, Enthusiasm and Enthusiasm: you can make anything work!!
The “how was your day?” line takes the wind out of anyone who insists that you need to say something super clever to get the girl. It actually IS that simple
Love it!
Yes Taras
It is that simple but can you share what you went through to realize that?
You were all about routines for a while….what was your big aha?
Ive seen guys on the subway in NY that I wished would come over and talk to me and didn’t. I could tell they were interested because I saw them checking me out or I’d get a smile or “the look.” It’s sad none of them or I didn’t have the guts to get up from our seat and walk over and say hi. Who knows what could have happened if we would have just said hello!
Basic open ended question. From the KISS system. Keep it simple stupid.
Yacutie;
There ya go! I like the way you think
How are you in the land of the living in LA?
Where I am at now is absolutely breathtaking…so many years here and who knew? Well, this is a new area of development. I am just very fortunate to be able to see the Lake…I needed some water! LOL
And Pete the train traveler is here!
Y’know, David, we actually have more trains running above the ground ^^
That’s a good thing, unless you enjoy sitting in an iron tube in the dark for fifty minutes, of course. And who wants less than fifteen seconds waiting time? You could use the “you’re cute” opener. The underground will arrive precisely when you run out of things to say xD lol
Yakub! The magic word three times. I mean ‘enthusiasm’, not ‘Yakub’
well who knows :p maybe if you do it with Yakub it works even better.
You say just what I would. The moment I finally finally started talking with ENTHUSIASM, to that girl in the shoe store in Amsterdam, bing bing bing!! FUN.
I need some sleep. Great to see you all. How was your day?
Hey David,
To answer your question, I’m not sure there was ever just one big “aha!” moment. I think it was more of a gradual realization that took place over a period of time.
I think the problem was that I kept looking for a magic “one-size-fits-all” approach when it came to meeting and attracting girls. Following this pattern of thinking, I would inevitably search for the perfect opener to use in every single situation. This in turn, got me stuck in a never ending cycle of searching for more techniques.
After a while though, I began to see that it didn’t matter what I said as long as I was in the moment and generally knew how to handle the situation. And unlike memorizing routines, this is something that only comes from experience.
I now believe that the initial few words you say to a girl matter very little, since you can usually fix whatever “mistakes” you made later on anyway. I also liked your “how’s your day” example, because I think it illustrates this point pretty well.
Keep the good stuff coming,
-Taras
or you can glare at the crying baby sitting in front of you and have a huge “sigh to show how annoying you are by crybabys, nah jk lol. But i think the main thing i learn from this post is the “big smile” because it disarms anyone you talk to if you have a “big smile”!
Having grown up in NYC I guess I’ve grown desensitized to people on the train, especially since I am usually in the not so great mood that you speak of. However, when you stop and think of it, there are plenty of interesting things to comment on (and start conversations about). Like the conductor speaking FAR too loudly into the microphone, the wonderful smells that sometimes saturate the cars, or even performers that frequently roam through the train. Instead of just grinning for a second and then burying my head back in my book, or cranking up the music on my iPod, I suppose all it really takes is an interesting comment to the person next to me. I think I’ll try that next time!
sean
that is all it takes!!!!
it really is that easy
taras
good to hear all of that ….when we first met you were all about the target.
now i have you thinking outside the box and i can see the changes in you!!!
keep up the great work
I really liked this article… I met my fiancee on the train we will be getting married August 8th 2008. We worked in the same building and same evening hours. He took the train home in the same direction as I did. One day I was listening to some music and singing along (I have a habbit of singing out loud) he was sitting across the isle from me and asked me if I was talking to him. Since that day we started chating then we started dating. I am a single mother and at the time didn’t think anything of it since most guys don’t really talk to me. I am glad I was on the train that day and glad that my fiancee was brave enough to say hi. I liked the fact that he was non threatning in his tone and he didn’t seem wierd. He just smiled and asked if I was talking to him. It’s a great way to meet people..
Wow, what a fantastic story Claudia! I would have never thought that the train may be the place to meet a guy!
Good luck to you. If some creep smiled and started asking me how my day was, I’d knee him in the bollocks and punch him in the face.