Five (5) Quick Ways To Keep Your Partner Fascinated
July 8, 2007 
11 Comments
Recently a friend of mine from Michigan emailed me and asked:
“Do you think the reason why men start having wandering eyes is because a girlfriend is so much fun in bed for three months, and then she gets boring?”
My answer to that is: men’s eyes will always wander. Men are visual, and they will always check out other women. This does not mean that they are going to sleep with those women, but men will always check out other women no matter how good the sex is with their partner.
The men who tend to act on the wandering eyes are men that are either chronic cheaters or are with a woman with very limited sexual creativity. The “chronic cheater” is all about finding a new conquest no matter how good their current partner is in bed.
Men who are with women who have the sexual creativity of a Yugo may also act on their wandering eye. Men get tired of driving a Yugo.
Whether you are a woman who wants to keep her man satisfied, or whether you’re a man who wants to keep his woman satisfied, you must realize that such satisfaction is a two-way street! If you want to keep your partner from wandering, I suggest you become more of a Mercedes . . . One day you let the man ride really fast in your nice tight leather seat, and the other day you just drive really slowly to give him a different sensation when you’re rounding the curves.
Why am I using a car analogy? Because sex is like driving . . . after a while the same road and the same traffic get boring!
Here are 5 Quick Ways To Keep Your Partner Fascinated With You:
1. Send dirty emails and dirty texts to them all day, & they will anticipate being with you that night.
2. Before you go out at night, have great foreplay…and that’s it! Make them wait for the rest of the sexual act.
3. Try having sex in different rooms in the house. If you’re having sex on the bed every single time, have sex swinging from chandeliers and laying on the kitchen table.
4. Please your partner and expect nothing in return…this will drive them crazy!
5. Talk about your sexual fantasies with each other, and start acting on them one at a time to give you each something to look forward to.
The wandering eye is a two way street. So if you’re getting boring in bed, you’d better start being more creative with your head!
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Great blog today—as always. The wandering eyes section is so true. Wandering eyes are instilled in men—and women. The chronic cheating when you are that Mercedes–DELUXE EDITION fully loaded–? I don’t understand it, but it happens and the world continues to turn;) Pleasing your partner and expecting nothing (but maybe a nice sigh and a kiss) is a satisfaction for the action feeling. You have pleasured your partner and it feels good to know so! Next time a sexual prelude arises, I think the partner will recall the moment, and you may be the one on the receiving end of sexual gratification, giving the sigh and the kiss after.
I have to add my two cents to this discussion.
To write the dirty E-mails and dirty texts are easy… To say it out loud is very difficult! Well, at least for some of us…
I used to have a problem saying anything nasty out loud, but oh how I was thinking it! I got over that fear and slowly came out of that “what if I sound stupid,” or “what if he thinks I am weird,” or…..the what if game. If I would have known the IFs sooner, I would have been the nasty talking girl that turns him on beyond words! IF you can get past the fears and in the heat of the moment don’t think about it…say what your body is feeling or feels like doing. I guarantee you the man loves it and you will experience a whole new level of intimacy;)
And I thought it was me who got bored with men after 3 months or so. LOL! Of course, I have always tried to sugarcoat this and be as nice about the breakup as I could. After all, you might as well try to stay friends. You never know when you’re going to need a guy to move furniture or fix something in your house.
Ashton,
Did you ever try talking to these guys about being more creative in bed before just ditching them? Or even taking the lead and starting the creative wheels churning in the guy’s brain? Asking about his fantasies? Starting an ongoing “role playing” thing that is silly and fun that you can text each other about even when you’re not around each other?
If you tried all this stuff and these guys didn’t start jumping on the creativity bandwagon, then you gave it your best shot. If not, maybe guys were shy about not knowing what you would be okay with. Maybe they had only been with boring women. All I’m trying to say is that sometimes some guys need a woman to take the lead a bit in the creative department.
I have to agree, you have to keep it spicey and unpredicatable. Boring is boring… I tease my guy with little enunendoes via text messages, with in minutes he is calling me. Yes, ladies men are visual, be very visible, playful and be confortable with your sexually and sensuality, it drives him crazy!! He may look, but he’ll be wandering what you going to do next.
Ladies, I tried it all, I thought I was doing something by keeping it all spicey and unpredictable, but in the end I still lost my man.
If only making it cheat-proof was as easy as keeping it hot. Yes, nurture the exciting part of your relationship! But don’t delude yourself – just cause you’re having a lot of fun doesn’t mean they’ll never stray.
Well, obviously keeping a guy intrigued is not just about sex. There are a lot of other factors in a relationship as well. Having a real authentic connection with open communication is essential. Being a woman who has a life she loves that doesn’t revolve completely around him is huge. Most of all, valuing yourself and your partner is critical. If you don’t, you can come across as needy or controlling which can easily drive someone away. People don’t just cheat because they are unfulfilled sexually. They can also cheat if they don’t feel their need for real authentic connection is being met.
The more I’ve thought about this post the more irked I’ve gotten. Cheating isn’t about being bored – it’s about deception. If the relationship is that stale, it’s time for the bored one to do the grown-up thing and say goodbye to your partner. David’s post blames the person being deceived and forgives the one doing the stepping out.
A more honest post would be ‘Someone who has a wandering eye three months later wasn’t the right person for you – the right person, three months later, is moving out of infatuation and closer to real love. If three months later the fire is dying out, say goodbye with some grace. Someone who is truly crazy about you will be even more excited to be with you, not less.’
So yes, make keeping the relationship exciting a priority! But you can’t fuel a relationship on pure sex, and if you have to have sex hanging from the chandelier to keep their interest, sorry… they might be showing up for the orgasms, but they’re not showing up because they honestly want to be with you.
People cheat because they have no character at all; to cheat a person needs to lie to cover up unusual behavior. A woman can be very boring or very wild in bed if she wants, sometimes dependo on the man. And who wants to be “nice and wild” with a bastard that has a roving eye?