Comments on: Fear And Love

PepBy:

Pep — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 21:41:06 +0000

Bro your right on about love and fear! Fear is a tormenter of the mind and it robs people. Im not much of a religious man anymore but i have done some study in the bible,and if you were to study the word fear in the bible, you would be shocked at how many times God told people to FEAR NOT!! Basically what he is saying in my terms is WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU AFRAID OF QUIT BEING A PUSSIE. Now whether people believe or not the principle is still true. We all have heared how Jesus walked on the water right, well that is a good parable on fear. Jesus diciples are in a storm at sea scared to death,when Jesus comes walking on the water. Then Peter ask Jesus if he can come out and walk on the water with him. So Jesus says come. Now get this Peter is walking on the water, but he begins to look at the wind and the storm and he begins to SINK! So Jesus takes him by the hand and delivers him. Then Jesus says to him “Why are you so fearful” WOW!!! We to can walk on the sea!! If we believe in LOVE AND TRUST IT. The sea and the storm is whatever your fearful of. If we believe in love we to can have the sea which is our fear under our feet so to speak. Us walking on fear instead of drowning in it is dependant on whether YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE. People who are fearfull all the time have a belief problem. Quit believing fear and believe in love and you will start walking on the water!!

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MACBy:

MAC — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 07:31:39 +0000

Thanks Marina,

I’ll take your advice and carry on with my everyday business. I have 3 weeks of work before I get the rest of the 2009 year off. I’m so excited!

Any other perspectives from the rest of you?

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MarinaBy:

Marina — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 06:18:52 +0000

You did great Mac. Huh spies around town . From my perspektive i would now prefer mé calling you if i was in a relationship. Any more calling from you would comeback across
as pushy. You did the first move and if you dont bump into her in the next couple of weeks, then closer to
Christmas or maybe better near New Year text or Call her just A’s if she was a friend wishing her a happy new year. She knows you are interested and she sounds curious too, but
go slow. You overcame your fear, great Night inspiration for the rest of us- thanks

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MACBy:

MAC — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 02:21:28 +0000

UPDATE:

SO I went back to that Starbucks to tutor my friend, and lo and behold, she was there again. In fact, as I was driving there, my friend texted me and told me she was there. I thought he was pulling my leg, but when I got there and saw her I was very pleased.

So I told myself, “Ok, stop be her table and say hello”.

I did just that and made a comment about how I never imagined seeing her again, exchanged names, shook hands again and then went to my seat with my friend before my lips started twitching again.

About 20 minutes passed and every so often I would glance in her direction and she would smile at me. As she began to pack her things to get ready to go I looked over and smiled and then continued tutoring my friend. As she got up, my friend told me that she looked at me while I wasn’t looking. So I was like, “Really?”

She walked out and I told my friend, “I’ll be back.”

So I waited ’til she exited before I got out of my seat and once I got outside, I called out her name. She stopped and I went up to her and said “Excuse me for being blunt, but I find you very attractive and I was wondering if you’d like to go out some time.”

To which she replied, “I’m dating someone.”

To which I was wondering what to say next! So I really can’t remember what I said next, but I told her how surprised I was to see her again and how I was tutoring my buddy, and that just opened up the conversation.

My lips began twitching again to the point where I had to turn around and just compose myself. WHY!????!!!!

I got more and more relaxed as we spoke and I realized that I was building her up in my head to something she may not even be. So as I told myself that, I was good to go.

We were standing a good 10 minutes outside before I finally said, “You know, I know you said you’re dating someone, but why don’t you give me your number and maybe we can talk sometime or anything.” She agreed and when I pulled out my phone she was quite enthusiastic about my phone ( I have the new Blackberry Bold 9700) and asked me if that was the new one. I said yes and therein we had another conversation, this time about phones.

I felt a connection and she’s really attractive.

I didn’t contact her except for a text on thanksgiving night to wish her a great time with her family. She replied and said “thank you and shared a bit about what she was doing.

I ended up calling her yesterday, but no answer.

I feel like I’m already going to fast so I’m not gonna call her until I feel like I should.

Just wanted to update you all.

Any advice, comments, questions, suggestions are welcome!

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TylerBy:

Tyler — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 19:30:53 +0000

merlyn

I don’t think what you’re talking about is actually “selfish”. I think you should always put yourself before others, but just not at the expense of others.

I think this is sort of akin to the “damsels in distress” mentality I used to have. I used to feel I had to “save” a girl and I always found myself drawn to shy, timid, “damaged” girls. I would lie awake at night and agonize over her problems, either real or perceived, and often spent entire days feeling shitty because I wasn’t able to “fix” her. I never felt that I was used by these “damsels”, but I did feel used by myself since I would always be going around with this cloud over my head. And the worst part was that I wasn’t attracted to these girls physically or emotionally. I was just a attracted to the idea that I could somehow make things better for them. I think that may be one of the fatal flaws to being a hopeless romantic.

Did I want to be her therapist? Of course not! I just wanted to take her out on a Friday night and have fun with her.

Eventually I realized this and made the decision to stop caring about other people’s problems unless there was something I could do about them. I called it being “selfish” as well, but it’s not selfish unless you’re hurting another person by focusing on your wants and desires.

Also, the Fear and Love idea is far from perfect, I’ll admit, but I do believe there’s something to gain from it as long as you don’t take it all at face value. “It’s about diggin’ a lot deeper” as you said.

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merlynBy:

merlyn — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:32:03 +0000

hey david
i have read quite a few newsletters and heard your podcasts..i like the genuinity in them.. however i really dont agree with the fear and love idea.. i first read about it in conversations with god by neale donald walsch.. nice to read.. made me feel good for a day… didnt match with my reality though
whenever i tried to act out of love.. i was used and abused.. or i wasnt taken seriously.. every single time.. and no i never had an agenda.. it was real
i became smarter …even a lot selfish..and it made me happier..
totally given up on being idealistic(love)…
being realistic .. practical (thinking) works for me
its not about reading something and then feeling good for an hour or a day or a week.. its about diggin a lot deeper.. understanding how world REALLY works… and then deciding to change yourself…
being myself never worked either… sorry..
i just had to reply to this post because this topic is something cllose to me as i had spnet alot of time and energy tryin to find an ideal world
thanks.. like your newsletters though and you have a great sense of humour..

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KayBy:

Kay — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 21:43:09 +0000

So funny that the Bible does mention that what we fear comes upon us and what we dread befalls us! (While I’m at this fear business I guess I’ll go ahead and dread finding the love of my life! =D)(Sorry, David, I haven’t listened to the podcast, yet, either.)

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CoreyBy:

Corey — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:40:12 +0000

Man I have to say…David this was a powerful podcast. I was laughing because I can relate to experiencing fake fear feeling. I have observed the silly fear in other people in social situations. i can experience high and lows with the confidence factor. I need to know maintain that sky high level of confidence. Sometimes I can approach, interact with women that Im attracted and Im cool. But then other times I see women Im attracted to and I freeze up. What the bleep? i dont get it. im open minded free thinking and any input would be great.
David your material is brilliant and a great experience!

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Coach KimberlyBy:

Coach Kimberly — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 06:46:39 +0000

MAC–I appreciate your honesty with the situation with the hot girl. Actually, when we do boot camps, that is probably one of the most common things guys (and gals BTW) struggle with. Keep in mind that those “hot” girls often don’t get approached for that very reason so when they do they are pleasantly surprised! Be that person who “doesn’t care” and talk to her..be in the moment and not in your head. Be real and talk to her as if you were talking to a friend…listen to her!:)

As for my friend Saul…as a therapist I have to ask which approach you would prefer…Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, Rational Behavior Therapy, Rational Living Therapy, Cognitive Therapy, and Dialectic Behavior Therapy? And since CBT is based on the idea that our thoughts cause our feelings and behaviors, not external things, like people, situations,and events and the benefit of this fact is that we can change the way we think to feel / act better even if the situation does not change….how can we help you?

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C-ManBy:

C-Man — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 05:41:00 +0000

Lol I meant beautiful. ahahahahahaha. ahahahahaha didn’t want to trick you on that one. you’ll be suprised how much it work.

but don’t make it a routine. you need to spend time with yourself and work from the inside-out. if you want to stay in touch, find me at: http://myspace.com/lescherubainsdecharisdondeli

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