Have you ever seen a woman when you’re standing in a bar, or standing in Whole Foods, maybe you’re at a coffee shop – it doesn’t really matter where you are – but then your mind takes over – the fantasy part of your mind takes over and you start manufacturing an entire story about her? You start putting her up on this pedestal.
And women do the same exact thing: they will see a guy and they won’t smile at him because they think, maybe he’s the one! Oh man, I like him.
How do you like somebody that you’ve never spoken to before? That’s the most ridiculous concept in the entire world, and it’s something that everybody needs to get over. You like somebody? You like the way they look – let’s break it down into what it really is.
You see someone that is physically appealing to you, so you look at them from across the room and the first thing that triggers in your mind – the only thing that should trigger in your mind – is that you like the way they look. That’s it.
You don’t like them; you don’t even know what they’re about. The woman or man that you’re looking at could have a big huge piece of broccoli between their teeth, a booger hanging out of their nose, or breath that would absolutely rival your dog’s on his worst day.
But yet you’ve built them up as this incredible fantasy before you even talk to them. You build them up as something – maybe they are the person that is going to rescue you from your single hell. You hope that this is the last person that you ever need to talk to again, because you are just so sick and tired of being single.
But the bottom line is that the stranger that you’re looking at – is just that: a stranger, the physical image of who they are. It might as well be just a photograph. If you start manufacturing this entire fantasy about who they are, you’re not even notice anything about what they might be doing.
You’re not noticing what they are doing, you’re not noticing their body language, and you’re not noticing any emotions that may be on their face. You’re noticing absolutely nothing. Nothing. Because you’re lost in fantasyland, in la la land, and you’re creating this whole fantasy.
So now everybody in fantasyland starts thinking about what to say. What do I say to this incredible person that I like and want to meet so badly? You don’t like them! You like the way they look!
So what you need to do is realize that until you speak to a person, you have no idea what they are about. If you think about it – 90% of people that you spoke to in your life you had no chemistry with. That’s right – nine out of ten people that you don’t really have much chemistry with. And that’s fine – at least you went over there and talked to them.
The only way to figure out if you like them is to go over and talk to them. Talk to them like they are a person – which is exactly what they are. Don’t treat them any differently, talk to them exactly how they are.
Last night, we were in a bar and we were all out. I looked at my client and I said to him, “there’s a woman, why don’t you just go walk over and talk to her?” “Now?” he asked, and I responded, “no, why don’t you wait until you get hammered and shitfaced drunk? And then, when she’s sitting down at a table, you can beat yourself up because you didn’t go talk to her all night long.”
“Yes, NOW!” “But she’s cute!” he said, and I responded, “it doesn’t matter! Walk the hell over there and find out what she’s all about!” And he did, and they talked for 20 minutes and had a great conversation. Do you know what he found out? That she was a nice woman.
That’s what you need to do. If you see someone that you are attracted to, you don’t like them. You just like the way that they look. They are physically appealing to your eyes, and that’s about it.
So your mindset needs to be whatever it might be to get you to walk over there. You can use any type of mindset tricks. You can think to yourself, man, I’m going to go over there and talk to that person and see if they have as bad of breath as I think they do. Anything to get you laughing and smiling.
All you guys know the women masturbation fantasy, and if you haven’t heard about it, I go into unbelievable detail in the Mastery Series, where I give you an exercise to picture a woman full-blown masturbating about you – then you’ll have that devilish little smile when you approach her.
For all the women – you know exactly what I’m talking about – I give you the Scooby Doo fantasy – because men are just drippers and droolers and giant Scooby Doos – all of that is in my Women’s Mastery Series.
I don’t want to get into those visuals right now – if you haven’t purchased the Mastery Series, I suggest that you do. At this point, it will really teach you how to understand the mindset of the opposite sex.
But let’s go further into this right now: you don’t know this person yet. Walk the hell over there and talk to them. Start a conversation, as I always talk about, based on observations and everything else.
You know what? You might find out that this dream person is actually the worst nightmare in the entire world. She might be whipping out pictures of her mother and her father and her three illegitimate children running around the hills of western Kentucky.
You don’t know what the hell she’s all about. So go talk to her, and stay out of fantasyland – stay in reality.
Lets go even deeper into attraction today.
I love to subtle reference to Whole Foods. You couldn’t resist, huh?
But I agree with you, D. The pedestal needs to come off. As far as you know, you two are equals. Unless she’s the princess of Finland – then you can act accordingly.
But even still…
Another great video
I usally last about five minutes or less watching someone I want to talk to. And in five minutes you can almost always figure out the major aspects of their personality. I like to look first to avoid having to talk to people who are dull or self absorbed. Wait… I live in LA, and that describes exaclty nine out of ten people here.
I gave up fantasies a long time ago. Now I have problems with reality.
Mike
Like the blog:
When I was younger I would daydream a lot and when I went after the person it seemed to fail. Then I realized that it was not reality. Physical attraction we all have it. Through another source I learned about Physical, Emotional and Intellectual Attractions. If you see something go after it you will not unless you try. Who knows that may be the person who you belong too.
What attracts me to the opposite sex is: their personality, the way they handle themselves when they are around others. Looks does not matter for someone can be ugly on the outside but have a beautiful/wonderful personality inside and vica-versa. He has to keep his body hygiene in tact. No chewing tobacco or dipping snuff. Be a gentleman and most of all just be themselves and be a guy. Thanks for the blog David.
Oh May I add does not put down what people say in blogs for what I say has nothing to do in other persons life. It lowers your attraction to the opposite sex. It shows that you are wanting to be controlling over that person. You know something it still puzzles me how can someone keep up with my business and their own that is like a gossipmonger. I have a hard time keeping up with my own. The way you live life is none of my business. That is between the person and God. I am only responsible for what I do in life.
Dan The Original
I have better things to do then to sit around and worry about you ok. You know what my main attraction is: Looking up Mr. Handsome in Ashland City TN and chasing him all over the place. I have better fish to fry. No offense. But lets you and I try to get along and blog with what David has to say. Oh I do have a guy on my tail already I don’t need any more comments from you. Ok. I am a grown woman and I spend five days out of a week looking at people and just biting my tongue when they say something I don’t like I work in retail. Sorry if I misunderstood you I have my family to take care of and one of my close male friends.
um… Dan didn’t even post here today. Perhaps someone might be carrying it a bit far? We can all “hear” you.
Personally, I like to live out my fantasy every day! Even though, sometimes, the fantasy has to be lived through a phone call
Running around the hills of kentucky.. hhahaha man . Anyways very good blog once again. I still read your blogs everynight and feel like we should be paying for your councel. Keep up the good work and btw Taras very good questions in the video. I will also try the bad breath approach tommorrow. Gotta keep it fun.
David
Seems like you love peaches that tells me you are a peach pie man. But I wonder about men who love to fish. Hint: Now I know why you moved to the beach does the fish smell real good today? The scents of a woman and what a peach will remind you of.
Would you like your peach pie with hair or not?
M
I do agree there will be no more blogging to Dan the Original from me. If he wants to act like an immature boy then let him. I am here to blog with David for do you know what I can do to his email that I receive in my email box. Delete it!
OK guys lets blog what is it about today: Sex anybody in the mood for sex game with me?
Kheim
A phone call what about in person where you can play on the next woman you come into contact with? Just live your fantasy dream on her. I love to fantasize when I am making love to a man. That is what helps to get to know each other sexually. But right now it is hard to do with the invisible man sleeping with me so I have no other choice but to use my vibrator yes it has a nickname Mr. Handsome.
David, you are absolutely correct. I was at the mall last night with my younger sister and as I was walking I saw the most beautiful asian woman walking diagonally in the same direction as me. We made eye contact and then she looked again. I was thinking to myself, “a perfect 10 gave me a second look” (I’m not bad looking either, btw, but I have underestimated my own potential). She stopped outside a lotion makeup shop and as I walked by I turned to see her and she was looked at me again through the corner of her eye. I smiled this time and stopped outside the next shop, a pet store and looked back at her. We made eye contact one more time and I said, I have to go talk to her, BUT she went inside! Darnit! I stalled and after about 5 minutes of waiting for her to come out, she walked in to the pet store and began looking and sweet talking the puppies. I wasted no time and use the puppies as a conversation. I said, “Wouldn’t it be nice if they could remain puppies all their lives?” From that point we hit it off. We ended up exchanging digits and hopefully hanging out soon. This is a first for me, because although I’m good looking enough to attract the 10’s I never knew how to just talk to them They’re human just like all the ugly girls out there! Thanks David! But now, I’m wondering if I should call her or wait til she calls me… what do you guys think?
Call her.
Mario,
Call her, but not the same day. At least the day after you got her #, call her. Be a man. A man will call first, not wait for her to call… yet NOT call her just hours after he gets the digits.
Mario,
That was good stuff… I do that often now, you might want to quicken up your approaches just a bit because often they do get away and you’ll have many a missed opportunity. A quick text an hour or so later like “Hope you’re enjoying this beautiful day.
” should be good, and then follow up with further texts a couple days later. Of course, there’s no real rule to this, anything could work depending on the girl, so give her a call if you feel like it, and get more numbers, so she doesn’t become your one and only “fantasy girl.” 
Thanks for the tips gentlemen and pardon the typos on my first post. This happened last night, so I will call her later on and see what she’s up to. Perhaps invite over to help me wrap some gifts or help me go find a scarf. whatever! I’m wondering what David’s opinion is on texting before calling, however. Jim C, I do find it easier to text but I’m hesitant to do so on the mere fact that it’s more common to text nowadays and it’s so impersonal. Although, I do think it has it’s place for something simple like “Hope your day is going well”, etc. I’ll call her today. Thanks for the comments. Hopefully David will give some input.
Texting is less intrusive… but in your case Mario, I’d prefer you call.
If she doesn’t reply, you can alternate between texting and calling. Calling takes a bit more effort but is so much more powerful.
Mario: Definitely call the day after!
And do not invite her over to wrap some gifts….she hardly knows you and she may feel you may be a creep and attack her….hey, I am not saying you are a creep but she may think that….way too pushy for a first “date”…do something else but do not invite her over, way too soon for that!
——-
On another note, I wonder what the Bible says about vibrators:-)
>>>>>>>Sex anybody in the mood for sex game with me? Yes, Mr. Handsome…
Sorry, I just could not resist….I am bad, I am going to hell for sure now:-)
MMMM… Dan, your posts are ALWAYS so sexy.
Almost as sexy as David’s
Mario
Call her dude. You wont know unless you make the move. Congratulations.
Dan The Original
Yes man anytime bring it on! Man! When do you want to start. See I am not all that bad. Happy Holidays to you.
I’ve never imagined a woman masturbating vigorously about me BEFORE I walked up to her, but I sure have imagined her doing it after I met her. In fact, I know it happens! I’ll try that trick, though, and see how it changes me mindset when opening.
Same to you Sandra, you naughty girl.
Britta: thanks for the kind words.
I think Mario need to report back with an update!
UPDATE:: So i called her today in the afternoon while i was driving home and we chatted on the phone. We began talking about our interests in music and then it moved on to clothing style. I happen to be into vintage clothing (50’s) and so she began giving me compliments. I quickly noticed the conversation was focused on me, so I quickly turned it around and payed her compliments on her style. I then proceeded to ask her if she wanted to hang out today and she accepted. She’s on her way. I freakin cleaned the house like the president was coming, and actually washed the dishes! I have some wine (chardonnay and some red wine too…) I’m wondering if it’s too much though. It seems like it is. Your views?
Dan
Same back to you; you naughty guy. Wanna play just let me know.
Mario
Wish you all the best who knows where this may take you. Just be yourself.
well, she just left. I found out she’s a really nice girl and there will be a second date. I must admit however, I placed her on a pedestal based on her looks when i first saw her. But really, she’s got all this beauty yet she’s just as common as anyone else. She’s real cool. Alright, that’s it.
Mario:
Take your time, no rush. At the same time, for her to come over after just meeting her is quite something I think. Maybe she is super horny and just wanted some release:-) Don’t know, how was she responding to you? Did you touch her a bit? Did she touch you? Was she playing with her hair and looking intently in your eyes?
I would play it cool, take her out and do something fun and continue to get to know her. And no more pedestals, we are all human beings after all. It’s just that some of us will go to hell and Sandra will go to heaven, lol. Just pulling your leg Sandra;-)
Maybe I’m just that attractive and don’t realize it! The encounter was pretty friendly although flirty. She wouldn’t let me kiss her, maybe because she had just eaten. We had wine and just talked and showed her my place and we danced a little. It was pretty fun. She suggested we meet again on Christmas and perhaps catch a movie. So yeah, i def am at the same level as she is. No more pedestal-ing girls, even if they are 10’s or Fantasy Girls.
Ah yes! I freeze up when I see an attractive man that I REALLY want to meet! I go into fantasyland just like you said and am so in my head. I like the mindset trick “walk the hell over there and talk!” I’ll have to remember that next time and do it!
Gaby –
Just imagine how easy it’ll become when you can train yourself to just go over there and talk, over and over again.
The benefits far outweigh the risks, if you ask me.
Dan The Original
Who knows I may see you all in heaven with me. Back to u. You must b an original alright I wonder what u are like in person. I bet u were one riot. Happy Holidays to u Dan. Sorry we got off on the wrong foot.
Dan
Forgot to add No offense.
WAY TO GO MARIO
Mario:
She would not let you kiss her???? So you tried and she deflected you?…on the first date!…are you 17 or something? Has the youth changed so much from my glory days?
And she wants to see you on Christmas day!!!! Doesn’t she or you have a family, you will ditch them all for a movie on Christmas Day? Are movie theatres even open that day?
I hope you are not pulling our leg dude.
Merry Christmas to all and to you Sandra. May Santa bring you the best vibrator of them all:-)
Dan
Merry Christmas to you also. May Santa bring you lots of joy this coming year. Hopefully you will find the special someone in your life.
Merry Christmas To All.
You GO, Mario! Maybe going over to a total stranger’s place to hang out after a chance flirtation at the mall was all the risk that she could manage for a first date – if she even considered it an actual “date.” I would bet that she would call it nothing more than just hanging out.
You schmoozed, noshed, imbibed, and danced…sounds like you were quite a hit. And believe me, if you looked or acted like a dog, none of that would have happened – much less her accepting a second date. Chalk it up as a success and keep up the good work!
Dan, are you from out of the country? Everyone in the USA knows that movie theaters are open on Christmas Day!, haha. I’m not pulling anyone’s leg here. To be honest, she said she had just eaten some soup that was really garlicy. I think she was simply saving me from eternal turn-off. We’re supposed to hang out this weekend after all. Christmas Day may be busy for me, not her.
Thanks K, it was just “hanging out”. Wasn’t really a date. I like the cool words you used, ha ha. I had to look up noshed and imbibed. I thought about her coming to my house after meeting me for about 5 minutes. That was pretty “intrepid” on her part. ha ha. I looked up “brave” in the thesaurus.
A word to the wise regarding garlic or other smelly foods – the secret is to make sure that everyone present eats the same food. It vastly improves your odds of more personal contact and removes the mood-killing, self-conscious reluctance. An ex-boyfriend roasted garlic for me at my house and that’s how we found out that we both loved eating smelly food and we both packed all kinds of breath mints!