I’ll share my recent example of when I did not love myself when I fell in love unconditionally and it went awfully wrong. I trusted the other person and, when blindly in love, I answered his plea for financial help. That was wrong to start and it was the biggest mistake I made; I gave up control. I appreciated him more than I valued myself. What’s unconditional love for another person when it means to jeopardize your own need for stability? Being more in debt is a stupid way and harmful to me, so I now understand what I did wrong. I first must know that I am important too and I must learn to love myself to attract respect and love from other people.

What’s more? Since I first watched Dave’s blogs and read some of the content of this site (days ago), my life has started to turn around. I’m starting to know what I need to portray of myself and it has started to pay off. I’m getting positive responses in the dating scene.

So to all of you guys and gals out there feeling down, don’t give up. I fell hard and I picked myself up. You can too. It all starts with you. Believe you can and believe you are worth it.

As for the debt this person owes me, I know I won’t get it back and I am not going to bother to try. Karma, people. I’m not going to dwell on negative energy anymore. Vengence will only suck me dry. I’m too good and too smart for that.

Good luck to you, “Lost.” You showed responsibility to her, you worked hard to earn this time off and you appreciated her and she blew it. Evaluate your inner qualities and let it go. Time will heal all. Don’t hold your breath waiting for her to grow up and realize what she is missing, you are too good for that. Admiring Michael’s pointers about boundaries, yes, do set your own and communicate them. However don’t make the mistake of trying to get her jealous. It just complicates the matter more. Have a good time for you, not for winning her back.

Best of luck,

Candid

Brother, I feel your pain. I’ll keep this as short as possible, but you must act upon it.

First of all, you are not overreacting! She’s walking all over you because she knows she can. Subconsciously, she’s testing you.

This is where you need to setup boundaries for yourself. What actions will you not tolerate in a relationship? How will you react to her actions if she over-steps the boundaries. This is something you have to do right now. Think of anything that would piss you off.

Here’s the thing, this DOES NOT mean you are going to be a controlling and needy boyfriend. This DOES mean that you respect yourself and that you deserve to be treated well. This is what David means when he says “Fall in love with yourself”. When you love yourself, you respect yourself.

Remember, these boundaries are made for yourself. They are not made to control others. In fact, rules are made to be broken and the opposite sex will always test you on them and whether or not you respect yourself. They have all the right, they need to know if they can respect you and whether or not you are worth their time and love.

Once you setup your boundaries, life will start to become easier. You’ll know how to react positively to these situations and move on. Try meditating on your response to each “boundary” that’s overstepped. Imagine being confident in each situation.

She might continue to push your “wrong” buttons, in which case I’d say she’s manipulative and immature. This means you should stay away from her, believe me she won’t change anytime soon and you can do way better. Or she might start paying more attention to you.

I’ll give you a hint in the proper direction as far as your current situation goes:

If she continues to pay more attention to other guys: DON’T SAY ANYTHING! Your actions will speak for themselves. Instead of moping about it, go have a good time. Find a group of women to hang with. Go be social and let her see that YOU DON’T NEED HER. Your life does not and will never depend on another person except yourself. That’s a sign of maturity, confidence, and masculinity. Go have fun without her. You’ll be surprised how many people out there, especially women who love the company of a guy who knows what he wants.

Which will bring me to the last thing I want to ask: DO you know what you want? Make sure to figure out what it is you’re looking for in a woman before you start dating her or seeing her. Compare your notes to what qualities this girl has. You’ll be surprised at what you might find out.

Good luck to you and remember to take action!

M.

The greatest thing about your blogs is that you give great advice on all the other little things that play such a big role in creating attraction aside from just approaching a woman. I don’t think we get that from any of those PUA’s out there.

Great work.